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Weird TV Memories [split topic]

Started by SteK, February 05, 2020, 06:11:57 PM

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SteK

Haven't read the whole thread but I saw as it happened;

1. Ollie Reed on After Dark, all of it, even the switch to some pottery making in Staffordshire emergency stock film that had ready. Me and my bro were wetting ourselves.

2. Five Start on Going Live  - I wanna ask Five Star why they're so fucking shit. Thank you Elliott.

3. Similar one with Matt Bianco on Swap Shop I think - memory hazy...

4. The Iranian Embassy Siege

And very late on early morn, fell asleep on front of the telly - this is when it went off about 23:00 woke up about 2:30 and heard this fellow say 'Well turn the bloody thing off then' - the white dot beep I presume, not my telly.

Famous Mortimer

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on February 05, 2020, 05:06:26 PM
Early 2000's I was channel surfing and found Peter Simon on some shopping channel. Thing is, Simon has always been a bit of a loon, but this evening he seemed particularly bad. It was like he'd received some very bad news just before going on air, and was on the verge of a major nervous breakdown, almost breaking into tears at several points.
The film crew however were having none of it, and started laughing at him whenever he said something particularly crazy. He really wasn't making a great deal of sense. After a while he walked up to the cameraman and punched him, presumably in the guts, as the camera wobbled and you heard an audible "Oof!". They finished up the program shortly after that. To sign off, Simon said, "And there's a security guard just arrived in the corner, so it looks like I'll be walking home tonight". (It might even have been a policeman, I can't remember).

I've tried for years to find footage of that last one, but there was probably only a few hundred watching, so sadly it's been lost to the mists of time.
A very quick Google reveals he was on Bid TV (and there are a number of videos of him from that time on Youtube, of him farting and collapsing - separately - at least), so I'm willing to bet someone who worked on the show has that footage. Try twitter for former producers or camera-people or whatever? Perhaps you could try the comments of other Bid TV videos? I'm sort of intrigued by this myself, now.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Cheers. I'm not on Twitter, and I'm sure if I'm that arsed enough to make an account and start sleuthing. Others are welcome to try though. You could just link to my post or something.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

The Rimini Riddle. Bizarre Irish TV serial about three orphans living with their aunt Vera who wasn't entirely happy to have them. The youngest lad had a purple otter teddy named Otto that was haunted/a demon that came from another dimension. The parents had drowned(?) I think the daughter used to have dreams about them.

Also this was all puppets.

There was also an Alas Smith and Jones sketch that spoofed public information films: "Going to bed? Are you safe? What about that cigarette, is it properly extinguished? ...little things like that cost lives." As Mel continues to get ready for bed Jones' narrator voice keeps pointing out increasingly ridiculous dangers: "DON'T GO IN THE LIVING ROOM, THE SERIAL KILLER IS IN THERE" until, surprised by his wife, Smith has a heart attack. "You're having a heart attack aren't you? You missed that doctor's appointment didn't you?" before the narrator finally concludes: "This has been a public service announcement designed to frighten the shit out of you."

SteK

Christopher Lee introducing and ending a 10:30 ITV show, pretty sure it was Granada since I live in Granadaland then, probably a Hammer Horror TV thing, all sorts of supernatural and demonic things, late 70's and he ending one (or probs all) with...

'.. and remember - there are such things....'

Shit me up well bad, especially as I had a bed with a fair amount of useful space underneath and cat used to move out in there, until I declared it a cat free zone when it started to do it's shits there......

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: Darles Chickens on February 05, 2020, 04:44:26 PM
Chris Evans and Jonathan Ross naked in front of a studio audience with only ukuleles to save their modesty.  There's, probably unsurprisingly, no video evidence of this online anywhere.

Chris with a towel, Jonathon Ross with an acoustic guitar. After Chris left, Rowland Rivron came on stage, and feigning a " what's going on here?" sort of attitude, tried to take Ross's acoustic guitar from him. JR was obviously very discomforted by this, think it was an unscripted move on Rivron's part.

non capisco

Hahaha, knew I'd be trundling on about that non-existent Eastenders 'Gutbuster' episode in this old thread.

Whenever this one pops up I feel I have to draw attention to ffogems' stellar post on page 3, one of the all time CaB golden greats.

Quote from: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on February 06, 2020, 06:43:32 AM
Chris with a towel, Jonathon Ross with an acoustic guitar. After Chris left, Rowland Rivron came on stage, and feigning a " what's going on here?" sort of attitude, tried to take Ross's acoustic guitar from him. JR was obviously very discomforted by this, think it was an unscripted move on Rivron's part.

Lamentably, it wasn't a faintly remembered dream: I've actually found stills of this televisual feast online.

(not safe for work / eyes)
https://vhistory.files.wordpress.com/2019/01/evans-and-ross.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/hdUWgM9.jpg


buttgammon

Quote from: non capisco on February 06, 2020, 08:11:00 AM
Whenever this one pops up I feel I have to draw attention to ffogems' stellar post on page 3, one of the all time CaB golden greats.

You're not wrong, what a breathtaking piece of forumming!

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Quote from: Darles Chickens on February 06, 2020, 08:29:02 AM
Lamentably, it wasn't a faintly remembered dream: I've actually found stills of this televisual feast online.

(not safe for work / eyes)
https://vhistory.files.wordpress.com/2019/01/evans-and-ross.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/hdUWgM9.jpg

Are they actually naked though? It looks like they've got thongs on. Evans has even tried to cover his up with flesh coloured masking tape.

Famous Mortimer

#10
.


magval

An advert on Irish TV that encouraged viewers to watch programmes in the correct aspect ratio, illustrating this using footage of a man who had recently won the title of best whistler in the country being squashed and straightened out.

This is is ironic as RTE does not always broadcast in the correct aspect ratio.

Ambient Sheep

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on February 06, 2020, 10:44:30 AM
Are they actually naked though? It looks like they've got thongs on. Evans has even tried to cover his up with flesh coloured masking tape.

Well the weird thing is that in the first pic only Evans seems to have a thong on, and in the second pic only Ross seems to.

Which brings to mind a highly disturbing possibility...

George White

Quote from: SteK on February 05, 2020, 08:56:31 PM
Christopher Lee introducing and ending a 10:30 ITV show, pretty sure it was Granada since I live in Granadaland then, probably a Hammer Horror TV thing, all sorts of supernatural and demonic things, late 70's and he ending one (or probs all) with...

'.. and remember - there are such things....'

Shit me up well bad, especially as I had a bed with a fair amount of useful space underneath and cat used to move out in there, until I declared it a cat free zone when it started to do it's shits there......
Tales of the Haunted (1981)?

Quote from: Ambient Sheep on February 06, 2020, 07:51:04 PM
Well the weird thing is that in the first pic only Evans seems to have a thong on, and in the second pic only Ross seems to.

Which brings to mind a highly disturbing possibility...

Yeah, I thought that was weird too.  Don't know if those two photos are possibly from two different takes (the former was from a VHS recording from the original broadcast, the latter was from The S*n, no idea of the source), but I always thought Saturday Zoo went out live, or "as if live".  No one really remembers this programme, but it was quite daring TV, particularly for its time.  It was edgy enough that a 16-year-old me figured that I might get to see some tits on it (the joke writes itself), but that night I'm fairly sure I had to make do with a flash of ginger knob as they were going offstage at the end, as the cameras cut back and forth in the chaos.


Bingo Fury

Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on February 05, 2020, 05:09:42 PM
This is a long shot but does anyone else here remember a BBC TV play called Gentle Folk from the very early 80s?  At a country house gathering in 1911, a young man has visions of World War One, World War Two, and 1960s and 1970s rock culture hedonism, all of which clash with the current gentility of the social occasion.

https://genome.ch.bbc.co.uk/1d5e3ab31da74dfcbcec4532b05509f4


Was HG Wells there, and he's fascinated by the visions of the future this young man is having?

And the young man turns up at a woman's bedroom door thinking he's well in there, only to find out Wells is already knobbing her and gets curtly told to stop staring at them and fuck off?

If so, yep, I remember that one.

Sebastian Cobb

Badly Drawn Boy on some shit like Saturday kitchen getting a bit curt with the presenter including mumbling 'is he for real?' and it being picked up clearly by his lavalier.

beanheadmcginty

Recent news has reminded me of the time Gordon the Gopher recreated the Mr Oizo Flat Eric video from the Levi's advert. Can't find that anywhere.

buttgammon

Quote from: beanheadmcginty on February 08, 2020, 12:06:12 PM
Recent news has reminded me of the time Gordon the Gopher recreated the Mr Oizo Flat Eric video from the Levi's advert. Can't find that anywhere.

This rings a bell but with a later character, not Gordon the Gopher. Can anyone find a YouTube link?

magval

Given the timing it would be more likely to be Otis the Aardvark but a quick Youtube search gave me nothing

bgmnts

#20
Around the late 00s there was a channel on freeview called TMF and one night they showed a version of Benny Benassi's Satisfaction video intercut with a hardcore porn film, talking up close penetration and money shot. Utterly bizarre and i'm amazed that got on tv as I assumed it was illegal to have hardcore porn on telly.

Would love it if someone else on earth saw this and I didn't dream it.

Hand Solo

Quote from: buttgammon on February 08, 2020, 01:12:31 PM
This rings a bell but with a later character, not Gordon the Gopher. Can anyone find a YouTube link?

In my hazy memory it was 'Monkey' from the Johnny Vegas adverts, but I can't find anything, either.

buttgammon

Quote from: magval on February 08, 2020, 07:08:20 PM
Given the timing it would be more likely to be Otis the Aardvark but a quick Youtube search gave me nothing

Could well be! That sounds about right.

the

Quote from: bgmnts on February 08, 2020, 07:13:39 PMAround the late 00s there was a channel on freeview called TMF and one night they showed a version of Benny Benassi's Satisfaction video intercut with a hardcore porn film, talking up close penetration and money shot. Utterly bizarre and i'm amazed that got on tv as I assumed it was illegal to have hardcore porn on telly.

Would love it if someone else on earth saw this and I didn't dream it.

We've been through this, the video that exists is a fake that wouldn't have gone out on TV

bgmnts

Holy shit we have. It was seriously on telly, I remember it on telly.

Fucksake.

the

Quote from: bgmnts on February 08, 2020, 08:02:12 PMHoly shit we have. It was seriously on telly, I remember it on telly.

Fucksake.

If you watch it, you can see how whoever cut it together has overlaid their own TMF caption on top of the real one to hide the edits. That in itself says to me that that version of the video was produced independently of TMF.

So ask yourself why TMF would then get hold of that fake and broadcast it on their own channel. (Putting to one side the massive broadcast regulation shitstorm they would make for themselves.) It doesn't add up. I'm not disbelieving you but... actually yeah, I'm disbelieving you. :)

bgmnts

I SWEAR it was on telly. I'd put my house on it.

the

If so you would've been, what, 13 when you saw it? And to be fair you couldn't even recall that you started the previous conversation about this 4 months ago ;)

The Bumlord

Katie Puckrick's nipple making a valiant bid for freedom on The Word. Or was it that thing where they wore pyjamas.

SteK

It's like the whole Captain Pugwash/Seaman Staines/Master Bates/Roger the Cabin Boy thing, I swear it was real and I watched it. I now know it wasn't and I didn't...

False memories.....