TV Guilty pleasures [split topic]

[Icehaven]

See also 'Ancient Aliens'.   You only have to look at how many seasons there are to see how deep they're scraping that barrel.

Gawd Mr Haven is hooked on that. I can watch 5 minutes for novelty value and to enjoy whatever state Giorgio A. Tsoukalos's hair is in, but as soon as you hear "Could it be, as Ancient Alien theorists believe, that..." you know the most eyewateringly ridiculous suggestion is coming and it's too painful to listen to. I do like how convinced they are that the entire ancient world was designed to be seen from the sky so aliens must have done it, obviously. The ancient civilisations went to great lengths to just about but not quite obscure that the aliens were here too, the teases.

[Blue Jam]

BDO Darts on Eurosport. It gets no bleaker than this.

[paruses]

I have been watching a lot of Abandoned Engineering. In itself it shouldn't be a guilty pleasure but the inserts from engineers and historians are written in such a way to make it so. I particularly hate the teasers at the beginning.

Has made me want to buy a drone though.

[Blue Jam]

The Ronnie O'Sullivan Show on YouTube. He may be a nob but there's never a dull moment with that mad fucking bastard, I'll give him that.

[Blue Jam]

Call That Hard Work? (BBC3/iPlayer). Three people do each others' jobs for a day and then rate them for difficulty. The person deemed to have the hardest job of the three wins a grand. It's somewhere between Four In A Bed and The World's Toughest Jobs.

The range of jobs is what makes this, with some being quite obviously physically demanding (gardener, plumber), others mentally demanding and a bit nerve-wracking (bingo caller, tower block window cleaner, beekeeper). Some sound easy but turn out to be challenging in surprising ways.

Some jobs however really don't seem that tough (estate agent, boutique owner, tea taster) and with some you get the impression that the contestant is trying to make their job seem harder than it really is by being a dick to their two temporary employees. In one episode a florist really cracks the whip like some kind of flower Nazi, while a David Brentesque telesales manager with an Alt-right haircut barks orders and gets pissed off when his temps start giggling and can't take him seriously (and then gets even more pissed off when the scores are revealed and he finds his job's score is well within the region of "piss easy").

Watching episode 7 now- plumber, London tour guide, dog groomer. That last one sounds like my dream job but we shall see...

[Blue Jam]

...yep:

Spoiler alert

Dog Groomer Woman lost because, while Plumber Man and Tour Guide Man agreed that her job was hard work, they also had to admit that getting paid to be around cute fluffy dogs all day was fucking magical. Why didn't I become a dog groomer? That's so bloody obviously my calling, nrrrgghhh

[close]

[jonbob]

I'm guessing they didn't show the dog groomer getting bitten or having to express anal glands

[Hand Solo]

I'm guessing they didn't show the dog groomer getting bitten or having to express anal glands

To be fair the Chief Whip has similar professional obligations.

[phes]

Call That Hard Work? (BBC3/iPlayer).

Watched the first couple and enjoying this. Jobs they pick seem to be relatively simple (by necessity I guess) but each is very demanding or challenging in their own way.

I do not want to work in a sausage factory. The utterly relentless sound and sight of raw sausages in that claustrophobic sausage bunker, and the only way it ever stops is when you've fucked up.

Food truck looks simple but hard slog and nail-biting. Every day wondering whether your only kit will malfunction and you'll lose money and not be able to provide for your customers. Card machines are a nightmare. I've seen a couple of vendors moreorless temporarily shut down because they can't take cards. Average profit of £22K for a single truck doesn't leave much room for maneuver

Bingo caller looks a piece of piss once you've mastered the basics and found a way to survive on 15K

[Blue Jam]

I'm guessing they didn't show the dog groomer getting bitten or having to express anal glands

Yes, that's why I was surprised that the dog groomer found the plumber's job so disgusting. She's seen/smelled worse, surely? They did show them bathing a dog who had rolled in fox poo...

I do not want to work in a sausage factory. The utterly relentless sound and sight of raw sausages in that claustrophobic sausage bunker, and the only way it ever stops is when you've fucked up

That was probably the worst one for me. I'm not a fan of reconstituted meat products and I was just glad no-one has invented Smellivision yet.

Bingo caller looks a piece of piss once you've mastered the basics and found a way to survive on 15K

I'm being continually surprised at how little some of these jobs pay. I think the vineyard manager was on 22K and the plumber was a real surprise on 35K. I guess an agency plumber earns a bit less than a self-employed one but still, I thought plumbers raked it in.

[Blue Jam]

I'm guessing they didn't show the dog groomer getting bitten

The dogs they were grooming included a labradoodle- those big soft things bred specifically as sweet gentle family dogs. Also a cavapoo- a miniature poodle crossed with the friendliest dog breed in the universe. Also some daft fluffy thing that was basically a small cloud with a face and who loved everyone. No big hard dogs and no Chihuahuas or Papillions or other bitey little fuckers afflicted with Small Dog Syndrome.

Watching episode 8 now. I always thought being a tree surgeon would be lovely if I wasn't so crap at climbing. Was funny to see the zookeeper showing off and making it look like a piece of piss before getting to the sandwich factory and struggling to slice tomatoes.

The £1 "Simply Lunch" sandwich factory job sounds like it might be my nightmare job. Tonnes of hard-boiled eggs and budget tuna and m*y*nn**se in a confined space *bleuuurrgggg*. I would honestly rather be 50ft up a tree with a chainsaw.

[phes]

Zoo Keeper, university degree, 5 years experience, university debt, £18k

Fucked on a median wage if you're single, aren't you.

[chveik]

I do not want to work in a sausage factory.

trust me, no one does

[Blue Jam]

trust me, no one does

Your mum does.

Zoo Keeper, university degree, 5 years experience, university debt, £18k

Fucked on a median wage if you're single, aren't you.

BBC3 should just do a show called Call That Poverty? where the person with the least money wins a grand. Tuck it away on iPlayer and it could sneakily replace the welfare state.

[Blue Jam]

My Mate's A Bad Date (BBC3, obviously)

"...so, you cheated on your boyfriend for a bite of a kebab?"

[petril]

BDO Darts on Eurosport. It gets no bleaker than this.

that early January slot is doing it no favours

[Blue Jam]

My Mate's A Bad Date (BBC3, obviously)

I'd better elaborate: Someone nominates their friend as a serial bad dater, and YouTuber/modern-day dating coach Oloni sets up a date and observes them in action before chatting to their date afterwards. She then gives them some feedback and a set of three golden rules to try and follow before watching them on three more dates and seeing if any of her advice has sunk in.

The first one featured a lairy Geordie lass whose rules included "Don't get too shitfaced" and "Don't start doing gymnastics on the floor". Dami in episode 3 was something else, with his arbitary and seemingly unreachable standards, and being advised: 1. Don't be rude, 2. Don't interrogate your date, and 3. Try not to fuck off halfway through the date with some bullshit excuse like "Oooooh, I think my car's double-parked".

It's quality trash alright.

[Blue Jam]

Oh my god, Shaquille in episode 4... and he wasn't even the nominated bad date, he was even worse that she (Tyler from Manchestoh) was (she wasn't that bad tbf, probably the nicest so far, if a bit obsessed with dating apps).

Date #2, Robbie, looked like a tattooed Skinny Pete from Breaking Bad.

Someone else watch this highly entertaining crap please.

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

I've probably seen every episode of Gordon Ramsay's other shows multiple times, but I'm just getting into Hell's Kitchen for the first time. Somehow orders of magnitude more trashy than even the U.S. Kitchen Nightmares. The entire show is laughably fake, and yet it is hypnotic. Why is Gordon Ramsay yelling at incompetent line cooks so endlessly amusing??

[dr beat]

I can't find it on Youtube now but someone once put all the opening titles for Hell Kitchen together in sequence from season 1 onwards, and it is quite something to see the levels of ludicrous over-the-top bombast rise gradually but all too noticeably over time.

[Blue Jam]

It's a playlist, and it's here:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5YxTzPk7mn5jsu7K7JCLmZ1SXa67g01g

For some of the later ones I think the secret ingredient may have been cocaine.

I've probably seen every episode of Gordon Ramsay's other shows multiple times

Watch the first two series of Ramsay's Hotel Hell if you haven't already. The worst into music and graphics in the world, the ultraviolet cum detector, and the completely gratuitous shots of Ramsay's saggy arse which pop up without warning and will scar you for life. The whole thing is just horrible. I love it.

[Glitch King]

.

[paruses]

Oh my god, Shaquille in episode 4... and he wasn't even the nominated bad date, he was even worse that she (Tyler from Manchestoh) was (she wasn't that bad tbf, probably the nicest so far, if a bit obsessed with dating apps).

Date #2, Robbie, looked like a tattooed Skinny Pete from Breaking Bad.

Someone else watch this highly entertaining crap please.

Started this today (have to say on the back of your post and I really need some trash TV). JThe Geordie girl was just very shy and immature. I quite liked her but I am over twice her age and would have to be sectioned after a week going out with her. I did think she was entertaining and ffs she's only 21 (a mere 5 years older than her mental age). The second guy (Kalil?) was fine. Overly confident and vain but fine. That dancer he had a date with was perfectly suited but I wasn't surprised they stayed in touch and he's seeing someone else.

Just got up to Dami in ep4 - he's not a Bad Date, I think he's a Bad Person. I will be finishing this one off later.

The presenter seems to have made a living stating the obvious (or maybe I am amazingly insightful but don't realise it).

[phes]

I started on episode 7 by mistake and let me tell you it's all downhill from there, so you're in for a treat. Zero fucks given. That dating expert had to work overtime to try and claim any degree of success

[Blue Jam]

The American Barbecue Showdown on Netflix. People with bandanas and incredible Deep South accents and a bloke called Grubbs who looks like a prepper getting very very very serious about great big hunks of smoked meat. Fucking ace. Just don't watch it when you're hungry.

I've been mentally planning about a month's worth of Sunday roasts watching this- who's the prepper now, eh? I've been prepping alright- prepping rubs and marinades and big huge slabs of fucking MEAT.

[phes]

Think I've watched most of those reality shows on Netflix, from BBQ'ers to food truck owners, pudding makers, preppers etc

Best one was a Canadian show called Weird Homes. Fantastic low budget slice of life stuff

[Hand Solo]

I've been prepping alright- prepping rubs and marinades and big huge slabs of fucking MEAT.

Marinating stuff overnight does fuck all really, using it the flavour the outside of the meat is fine but it makes no difference to anything you're tasting from the inside. Glad to know this because I used to hate preparing Tandoori chicken or whatever then having to shove it in the fridge and make something else to eat on the day.

[Attila]

Feeling a bit happy here at the news Changing Rooms is being revived.

I used to see it on the once-or-twice-a-year trips I made over to the UK about 25 or so years ago, and then it was in truncated re-runs on one of the USA channels back in the States (maybe 15 mins worth of show because they cut so much out to put in all the adverts.)

(I really got a kick out of CR when I visited London on those occassions, that, and Home Front, if that's the one where one of them would do terrible things to people's houses while some other guy did terrible things to their garden -  the one I remember is the garden guy knocking down what he thought was a tatty shed, and turns out he'd destroyed a listed Tudor building).

[Blue Jam]

Marinating stuff overnight does fuck all really, using it the flavour the outside of the meat is fine but it makes no difference to anything you're tasting from the inside. Glad to know this because I used to hate preparing Tandoori chicken or whatever then having to shove it in the fridge and make something else to eat on the day.

Really? I thought that if you were using something like wine or lemon juice or vinegar or yogurt in the marinade it tenderised the meat to some extent. Only if you're using small pieces though- I can see why marinating a big hunk o'meat would be pointless.

The only thing I cook that's like tandoori chicken is a whole roast chicken marinated in yogurt and spices and that makes the skin really crispy, but the flavour of the meat comes from the butter and the methi leaves I shove up under the skin of the breasticles.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I'm marintating some chicken for a chicken tikka masala tonight, it's such a dead-easy recipe if you've got an electric pressure cooker as you cook the sauce in the bottom of the pan and cook the chicken above it on a trivet then afterwards chop it up and sear it on a skillet while you run the sauce through a blender.

I'd heard marinating doesn't really do anything, but I still do it as it seems a bit weird to mix up the sauce, coat the chicken in it but also end up throwing the leftovers into what your cooking.