Have you ever been on TV (or "Give me a good political question, PLEASE!")?

[Xander]

Sorry if there's been a thread like this before. I did search, honest!

The reason for starting this thread is twofold. Firstly, because I was wondering if any 'whores had ever been on television, in a non "sitting there staring blankly" kind of way, and secondly, because I need your help.

At midnight, friends will call you up and suggest the silliest things. Tonight's example was a friend calling me up, asking me if I wanted to go and see that Great British institution, Question Time, with them. They were going to sort out the tickets, and I was going to turn up in Durham, grin like an idiot for an hour on Thursday, and then leave. However, I got a call back saying that you can get tickets online, and that my other two friends had already signed up.

I logged on to the BBC website and was overwhelmed by the questions they ask you. To get a ticket, you need to give your name, address, phone number, ethnicity, political leanings, and write two points you may wish to address. Finally, and inexplicably, there's a button asking if you're willing to participate. I did want to click "no", I really did, but Stu and Tim had already clicked "yes", and I couldn't bottle it. Presumably, if the tickets are limited, they don't want to waste them on some loser who turns up half-cut to hurl abuse (well, moreso than usual, anyway). They then get in touch with you, apparently, to ask what questions you'd like to submit.

This is the problem, y'see. I'm all for intellectual political debate, as long as I'm not involved. I would be quite content to be the half-cut bloke in the corner. As soon as I get confronted, especially by a politician, I curl up into the foetal position and begin to weep uncontrollably. I was wondering if anyone had applied for QT before, and knows what the rest of the procedure is like, and the chances for getting picked?

Failing that, my friend and I both put down "voter apathy" as points to discuss. My friend put "Scrutiny of the Organised Crime Bill", and I put "The strong emergence of minority parties". All absolutely riveting topics, I'm sure you'll agree. Do any 'whores have good ideas of any specific questions to ask, or any you want asking within those broad headings? It'd really help us out!

I don't know who'll be on the panel - the BBC website doesn't give that information away. All I knows is you may be able to see me make a fool of myself on national TV this Thursday. Which brings me to my second (and honestly just an attept to get some milage out of a self-serving thread) question - have you ever looked like a nutter, or embarassed yourself on TV? If not, do you have any humourous stories about your appearances on TV which may put my friends and I to rest?

[Cerys]

Ooh, lucky old you!  You'd better think up some damn good questions, otherwisde we'll be all disappointed.  No pressure, obviously.

I've made a tit of myself of telly.  First by gargling on a Welsh programme called Hel Straeon [Telling Stories], when my school did a day of record-breaking attempts.  I managed an hour and three minutes, but I was only onscreen for about thirty seconds, if that much.  Then I appeared on QED at a 'Drag King' workshop - theyd advertised on Ceefax for broadminded women who wanted to dress up as blokes.  I was drunk when I discovered the ad and left a message on their answerphone, but that's largely irrelevant - I'd have done it anyway.  And I've done Fifteen to One, but I came second, so I don't suppose that counts as making a tit of myself.

Good luck!

[Xander]

Ooh, lucky old you!  You'd better think up some damn good questions, otherwisde we'll be all disappointed.  No pressure, obviously.

I'd better think up some good questions? Why do you think I started this thread in the first place? To advertise the fact I'd be the speccy 5'6" geek in black, with messy (not the good kind), long (not the good kind) hair, mumbling and giggling to himself like a retarded hobbit?!

But thanks for your support, anyway. I think it's just paranoia setting in at 1.30. They probably won't even ask me to ask a question - my mantra for the next two days...

[peet]

Who's on the panel?

http://chilled.cream.org/forums/viewtopic.php?p=63984

[Consignia]

Do what a student last week and take your question from a cartoon in the Metro.

[didgeripoo]

I was "kid who got run over by a train and died therefore not having his life saved at all" in a 999 Lifesavers Alcohol Special. I didn't meet Michael Buerk. Boo hiss!

[Xander]

Who's on the panel?

Sadly, I have no idea, but thanks for that  link. Funny the things you miss in a panicky state at 1.30am.

[RFT]

I got interviewd by Jenny Powell about my school's hovercraft project in 1990.

[Morrisfan82]

There were quite a few excellent instances of TV 'whoredom in the Piss-Poor Claims To Fame thread. I've just been leafing through it and giggling.

[domesticgoddess]

my friend and I both put down "voter apathy" as points to discuss... Do any 'whores have good ideas of any specific questions to ask, or any you want asking within those broad headings?

Something about safe seats in relation to voter apathy.  I live in one of the safest Labour seats in the country.  It does make me fell that my vote counts for very little, other than to give me the right to moan if I don't like what the government are doing!  Do the panel think that a system of proportional representation would help address voter apathy, by making more people confident that their vote really does count?

[Xander]

Muteki - Just checked it myself, and it's cheered me up loads.

Domesticgoddess - Thank you, you've truly lived up to your name there!

I may also ask, in relation to the BNP thread, whether it's beneficial in a democratic society for them to get a PEB at all, considering their controversial issues. Or alternatively, should the system of getting PEBS be reformed, so that ALL minor parties get them, regardless of the number of seats they hold, since they are all possibly to be voted for? The whole "education of the masses" stance.

[hands cold, liver warm]

say all liberals should be shot

[Bean Is A Carrot]

I've related this story previously, but I went on Question Time once. Before the show, when you're writing your questions on the little cards, they give you a sheet of paper with the day's top news stories. This sheet is intended as an aid to prompt topical questions, but IMHO it sets the agenda as not one question that night was not about a story on the sheet.

They also interview you on the phone prior to them confirming your tickets, to get an idea of your views on various topics and to ask you further about the issues you want to raise. I supose they feel they have to do this to have a coherant show, but it's hardly pure democracy. Is it?

[Borboski]

Ask "Why is my mum so fucking fat?"

[SurferGhost]

I can't suggest any questions as I'm both stupid and lazy, but The First Mrs Surferghost was on the telly once in one of those street interview things, and the best advice anyone could give you is to keep your head level with the camera if the interviewer is taller than you are. No-one (including me) remembered a word of what she actually said, but they were able to tell her with startling accuracy how many fillings she had in her teeth.

[Dark Sky]

I've made a tit of myself of telly.  First by gargling on a Welsh programme called Hel Straeon [Telling Stories], when my school did a day of record-breaking attempts.  I managed an hour and three minutes

You can gargle for an hour and three minutes?!  How do you breathe?!  I can manage about five seconds before feeling like I'm about to drown...

[Cerys]

You're allowed to breathe, you know.

[Pinball]

"In this era of tax cuts and waiting lists, where have the big issues gone?"

[slim]

You're allowed to breathe, you know.

Huuuuooooooooofffff.

Phew. Thanks.

[Cerys]

If I could spell the noise of a very loud, wet raspberry being blown, I'd be doing that right now.

[slim]

Heh, I've done one of them for Tracey and, I think, weekender in the past.

Pppllllrlrlrlrlllplppppptttt! is how I represent it in prose.

[Xander]

Nice to see my thread got hijacked by SCHOOLCHILDREN :P

[Cerys]

I'm sorry.  I had thought of a magnificently incisive question you could ask, but then I got distracted by peanut M&Ms.  Maybe you could comment on the relationship between snack foods and - hang on, I've got it!

"Given our current status as a nation of unfit couch potatoes with the attention span of a gnat with amnesia, what are your thoughts on the practicality of television programmes which attempt to address political issues on a question-and-answer basis?"

Should at least get you a slap for being a smart-arse.

[slim]

Whoops, sorry.

I'd say ask them about how they plan to manage multiple economic and social crises when the global oil demand outstrips supply.

[Evil Knevil]

I would ask something along the lines of

Is it just me, or does the Labour Party have absolutely no policies and no plans for change?

[zozman]

"What do you reckon?  Flat back four, or a wing-back system?"

"Should we introduce a system where the desire to become a politician automatically precludes you from becoming one?"

"Here's a fucking radical thought, why don't you all just work together to make things better instead of spending all your fucking time and effort scoring cheap fucking points off each other, scaremongering, and criticising actions taken years ago by people who have long since retired".  You might want to finish that one "You bunch of fucking half-baked wankstains" although I'll leave that to your conscience.

"What did you reckon to Nathan Barley?"  Um, maybe not.

[hands cold, liver warm]

"can someone explain to me why Ruth Kelly talks like a bloke?"

[gazzyk1ns]

"Should we introduce a system where the desire to become a politician automatically precludes you from becoming one?"

Hehe yup, same thing with policemen.

Actually, that's a bit sexist, isn't it? I meant... erm.. Policepersons.

[Bogey]

It's on everybody, let's Whore-spot!

[Xander]

HAH! You'll be lucky! As a hilarious epilogue to this thread, they didn't get back in touch with me or the rest of my party. It was all a panic in vain! But thank you for the support nontheless, 'whores. I know who to turn to in the future!