Tea Twitter Storm [merged]

[Dex Sawash]

Twitter is a completely alien world to me - I've never signed up to it, I don't know anyone who is on it, and the only times I do look at it are whenever it's linked as part of a CaB thread.  It seems to be a place where everyone just constantly snipes at other people, situations and things.  Bewildering.

Same. I looked at link (twink?) in OP for a few minutes and can't even work out what is going on. Still enjoying the thread here though.

[the]

The other Iannucci memory this thread brought to mind is a Facts and Fancies story, again about Big Brother. Something along the lines of a contestant chopping an onion in a ham-fisted way, which the camera zooms in on and really relishes. Then he becomes a national laughing stock and his whole life is ruined.

It made me think of a not-so-distant dystopian future where someone tops themselves after being patronised and publicly ridiculed by a brand of tea on Twitter. While Caitlin Moran cheers on and pulls that fucking face of hers.

Have you read this Barry?

     


...

Thinking about Gash, maybe Iain Lee could do a Twitch commentary on an episode just for balance.

[Cardenio I]

I hate this shit. Hate the internet. Might need a break. Getting sad.

[Barry Admin]

Have you read this Barry?

     


...

Thinking about Gash, maybe Iain Lee could do a Twitch commentary on an episode just for balance.

No I keep meaning to actually, I'm really trying to get back into books again now and get my hyperactivity under some sort of control so I can get this place sorted, and just do more stuff I enjoy but which is inexplicably difficult for me to commit to. I think he may have ended up following me when I was on Twitter because of that blog I wrote on a similar theme actually.

I still vaguely remember some tweet he made exhorting everyone to go to bed, I think it revolved around the notion that Twitter was switching off for the night, like the telly used to do. Anyway, it was a simple little thing, but the way he phrased it just made it so charming and sincere and pleasing. He just seems like a lovely man.

[Buelligan]

I hate this shit. Hate the internet. Might need a break. Getting sad.

Don't get sad.  It's like guilt, that's being discussed in another thread, being sad and being guilty are reasonable if you have some hand in the causation or some control.  If not, I think at least, try to have your moment of negative feeling and then move on, don't let it get a hold on you.  Maybe, as you say, take a break or focus on something positive.  Have a massive laugh if you can, that always cleans out the pipes.

[Cardenio I]

Yeah, cheers. I do think I need to give up large portions of the internet though. I don't think having constant negative (and unfair) thoughts of the world being overrun by thick tedious cunts with terrible, hurtful views spouting meaningless, mimetic, undercooked shite is good for anyone.


Thanks, Yorkshire Tea.

[Buelligan]

Heheh.  Thanks for the laugh, I do understand (and often feel similar).

[Huxleys Babkins]

https://twitter.com/Jacob_Rees_Mogg/status/1232633798896111616

Oh, joy.

[Barry Admin]

Ignore, I rushed ahead of myself and didn't realise he was actually responding to that article studpuppet had tweeted. Too much tea!

[Shit Good Nose]

https://twitter.com/Jacob_Rees_Mogg/status/1232633798896111616

Oh, joy.

No surprise at all that both are plain flavoured...

[Barry Admin]

No surprise at all that both are plain flavoured...

That man has clearly never held a crisp before in his life.

"Pringles when I'm feeling extravagant" - yeah right you quails egg-gobbling fuck.

Ohhhh god, it really works, this culture war shit it really really works.

[Buelligan]

I hate him so much I can't bear to look at it I'm afraid.  Probably best.

[Shit Good Nose]

That man has clearly never held a crisp before in his life.

"Pringles when I'm feeling extravagant" - yeah right you quails egg-gobbling fuck.

Ohhhh god, it really works, this culture war shit it really really works.

He did stop in our local 'spoons when it opened (alas, he's my local MP - NO I FUCKING DIDN'T VOTE FOR HIM, and neither did anyone else I know) and had a burger and pint of Thatchers Haze.  At least that's what the article said and photo suggested - as far as I know there's no evidence he took a single bite or sip.

[Barry Admin]

I hate him so much I can't bear to look at it I'm afraid.  Probably best.

You might be cheered by the grim reaper looking over his shoulder. Looks also like a mini creme egg balanced on the Pringles tin for good measure? God he's so bloody normal isn't he.

Even the open crisp packet looks dodgy and unnatural - it's bizarre, like it's been opened and then reopened again with the insides really stretched out in an act of bizarre over-exaggeration. 

[Shit Good Nose]

Fuck me, you're right - that IS some form of Creme Egg!

You've got me studying that photo now.  Poor cable management on the floor there.

[Barry Admin]

What are the books? My Great Granda would be pleased to note they're closed instead of resting open upside down. I used to borrow his Hardy Boys and Three Detectives books and all sorts from him, and he'd always tell me not to break the spines.

[Spoon of Ploff]

https://twitter.com/Jacob_Rees_Mogg/status/1232633798896111616

Oh, joy.

[buttgammon]

You might be cheered by the grim reaper looking over his shoulder. Looks also like a mini creme egg balanced on the Pringles tin for good measure? God he's so bloody normal isn't he.

Even the open crisp packet looks dodgy and unnatural - it's bizarre, like it's been opened and then reopened again with the insides really stretched out in an act of bizarre over-exaggeration. 

There are two possible poses for a crisp packet: open facing the eater (this would symbolise Tory selfishness here) or facing away from them in a gesture offering them to others. This is some freakishly impossible third position. Not only did he immediately dispose of that crisp without eating it, but I strongly suspect he spent half an hour washing his hands afterwards.

[Barry Admin]

That's excellent analysis, and I guess one of the main problems I have - apart from the bag looking like it's been studiously inflated by some cunt - is that it's even resting on the desk at all.

Do you really put a crisp packet down once you've opened it, buttgammon?

Edit: looking again, you really nailed the bizarre position of the packet in relation to his body. That packet was indeed placed there by someone else, of that there is no doubt.

[Spoon of Ploff]

What's that purple thing on top of the Pringles?

[buttgammon]

That's excellent analysis, and I guess one of the main problems I have - apart from the bag looking like it's been studiously inflated by some cunt - is that it's even resting on the desk at all.

Do you really put a crisp packet down once you've opened it, buttgammon?

I don't, but I'm unusually gluttonous where crisps are concerned; the observations come from jealousy watching crisp-eaters in pubs. The only circumstances in which they're put down are normally being offered among friends on a pub table, not in some government office.

[Barry Admin]

What's that purple thing on top of the Pringles?

Looked like some form of creme egg to me, at first. Not so sure now though. Seems more circular than egg-shaped, that may just be the camera angle.

It does seem like the distinctive Cadburys purple, though. I dunno.

[Beagle 2]

I run the social media accounts for the place I work (a charity, cheers). We got ourselves embroiled in one of these twitter shitstorms over something that wasn't our fault, was misreported but took on a life of its own. Again, it was on a Friday night and I was already a few beers in when I realised. The absolute panic. By the time the press picked it up the version of events that was being Chinese whispered all over the internet had become the only one we could really stick to, to try and correct some of the misiformation would have looked like an attempt to "walk it back".  It all blew over but it did leave a bitter taste (ha ha tea). So much wasted effort moving pixels around on a screen to try and make the right bits of people's brains light up.

Yorkshire Tea is really great though.

[imitationleather]

The thing I'm taking away from this is that Caitlin Moran etc. really need to stop spending so much time on Twitter. They're acting like children who are too young to recognise when an advert is an advert.

[machotrouts]

Used to live with a guy who didn't drink any hot drinks. "I don't understand them," he'd claim. "It's hot, so you let it cool down, then it's cold and disgusting"

Sounds like you lived with me. And it sounds like I was right, as usual

[shiftwork2]

Coffee in the morning, tea in the afternoon.  We are gentlemen after all.

[Sebastian Cobb]

The thing I'm taking away from this is that Caitlin Moran etc. really need to stop spending so much time on Twitter. They're acting like children who are too young to recognise when an advert is an advert.

These people look back at footage of the Gallaghers rubbing shoulders with Blair while Alan Mcgee sulked around in the background and genuinely thought it was authentically brilliant though.

[Monsieur Verdoux]

is it ethical to bring children into a world this fucking stupid

[idunnosomename]

hahhahhahahahhaha

[idunnosomename]

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TOADMEISTER