Where the fuck can I go on holiday?

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

You can stay in bothies for newt. Last time I did that I had a shit behind a tree and got woken up by a buffoon falling over my head.

According to a Scarlett Johansson film I watched, unfortunately the bothy is a hotspot for park rapists, so maybe avoid them.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Hoping some people will confirm bothies aren't dangerous malattended damp hovels.

[Ferris]

Train to Skye/Mull/Oban

[Inspector Norse]

Sealand

[Mr_Simnock]

Windermere?, Langdale  or Grasmere?

[Icehaven]

Shepherd's hut near fucking Abergavenny.

Having recently spent two nights in a hay loft near Aberystwyth I can wholeheartedly say: DON'T DO THIS. It would probably be charming July-Sept but in February it was mind bendingly cold. The wood burner was fun until we realised it didn't really heat anywhere more than 3ft away from itself, and there was ice inside the windows in the morning when there wasn't even ice outside. So if you decide to go anywhere in the UK in the next 5 months just don't forget you'll need heating and you'll be good.

[Captain Crunch]

Portmeirion is always a winner.

[holyzombiejesus]

Whitby/ Robin Hood's Bay. One of the few places where shit weather can actually improve the holiday. Also, you can stop off in Middlesbrough on the way which will mean you get to leave Middlesbrough.

[shiftwork2]

You can have whatever you want on this varied little island in Feb [nb]so long as that thing isn't tapas and sunshine[/nb].  North Cornish coast, Northumberland coast, Norfolk coast.  Probably need a car for those though.  So the answer is York.  Or Exeter.

[monkfromhavana]

Go to Bordeaux. Piece of piss to get to, nice city to ponce around in, lots of booze. Can go out to the sand dunes in Arcachon, climb all the way down to the beach, then nearly kill yourself through exhaustion trying to climb back up the fuckers.

[Chollis]

Gary Island

[Blue Jam]

Hoping some people will confirm bothies aren't dangerous malattended damp hovels.

Bothies are not remotely attended, that's kind of what they're about.

[Blue Jam]

Gary Island

Sounds a bit meh:

https://www.google.com/maps/place//data=!4m2!3m1!1s0x5495bd820c323a55:0x9efe862895554179?utm_source=mstt_1

[DistressedArea]

Booked a two week holiday exploring the less touristy staff-only areas of the Meadowhall shopping centre.  Was constructed in the eighties, and much of the architecture is original.  I reserved an entire delivery bay, which would comfortably sleep four, just for myself! Won't get Coronavirus, 'cos I'm not a sex tourist.

[Paul Calf]

According to a Scarlett Johansson film I watched, unfortunately the bothy is a hotspot for park rapists, so maybe avoid them.

In addition, only complete cunts abuse them to score a cheap holiday.

[Blue Jam]

Booked a two week holiday exploring the less touristy staff-only areas of the Meadowhall shopping centre.  Was constructed in the eighties, and much of the architecture is original.  I reserved an entire delivery bay, which would comfortably sleep four, just for myself! Won't get Coronavirus, 'cos I'm not a sex tourist.

Oh good call. I might book and Amazon warehouse tour though, because I am a sex tourist and you can't catch coronavirus from a robot.

[thenoise]

Scilly Isles are beautiful, vaguely 'exotic' and very accessible for non car drivers (little enough to walk/cycle everywhere, most islands have no cars anyway). The flights are fun, tiny little plane or helicopter, but they get cancelled all the time due to weather, the ferry is a lot more reliable. the hotels are nice but pricey, lots of self catering cottages tho.

[Mrs Wogans lemon drizzle]

Just got back from fuerteventura in the Canary Islands.  Nice and sunny for this time of year and only 4 hours away. 

[touchingcloth]

I holidayed up my own arse once. 2 stars.

[Sebastian Cobb]

You can have a colonic first if you're after the 3 star experience.

[Cuellar]

Scilly Isles are beautiful, vaguely 'exotic' and very accessible for non car drivers (little enough to walk/cycle everywhere, most islands have no cars anyway). The flights are fun, tiny little plane or helicopter, but they get cancelled all the time due to weather, the ferry is a lot more reliable. the hotels are nice but pricey, lots of self catering cottages tho.

Yes, Scilly Isles are grand. Pain in the bloody arse to get to, though, especially if you don't drive. And even if you do. Ferry only leaves once a day at 9:15, meaning you have to either travel through the night or stay over in Penzance. Then it only sails back once a day too, at 4:30 or something, meaning you arrive back in Penzance at around 7pm, meaning another nighttime journey or ANOTHER stay in Penzance. And Penzance is horrible.

And then the islands themselves are expensive as shit.

Beautiful though. And some pubs with cracking views of sea and island.

[idunnosomename]

Northampton

[Dex Sawash]

We've got a spare room

[BlodwynPig]

You can have whatever you want on this varied little island in Feb [nb]so long as that thing isn't tapas and sunshine[/nb].  North Cornish coast, Northumberland coast, Norfolk coast.  Probably need a car for those though.  So the answer is York.  Or Exeter.

Train to Alnmouth, bus to the environs