Have I been getting noodles wrong?

[Barry Admin]

That's probably not very clear; the last two steps are "drain water", and then finally "add seasoning powder."

What in the name of fuck?

I don't think I ever bothered to read the instructions on a packet of noodles before, have I been noodling wrongly all this time?

[bgmnts]

I haven't had the seasoning powder in noodles for years but I always leave a bit of water in there anyway so the powder would mix in fine.

I always assumed you put the powder in whilst in the water though.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Does it come with a separate sachet of seasoning powder? Maybe they just mean salt.

[Buelligan]

I haven't done these kinds of noodles for an awfully long time but my memory is

• put dry noodles and magic powder in heatproof receptacle
• add requisite quantity of very hot or boiling water
• cover and wait five minutes
• uncover, stir
• eat, burn mouth

[Noonling]

Assuming it is something similar to this:



Then no, you're right and the packaging is wrong. The advice for the above is

Instructions: 1 Add noodles to 300ml (1/2 pint) of boiling water, bring to boil.
2 Add flavour sachet, reduce heat & simmer for 4 minutes or until water is absorbed.
3 Serve immediately & enjoy!

[Barry Admin]

I haven't had the seasoning powder in noodles for years but I always leave a bit of water in there anyway so the powder would mix in fine.

You are literally a pig, with your sloppy soggy noodles. The Boston Crab would gut you like a fish.

I always assumed you put the powder in whilst in the water though.

I know right??!?? How can that not possibly be the correct method?

[Jerzy Bondov]

Barry, your instructions are like the ones on the Nissin Soba pots – drain water and then add flavour – but that doesn't have powder, it has a weird black goo. Very nice though.

[bgmnts]

You are literally a pig, with your sloppy soggy noodles. The Boston Crab would gut you like a fish.

Most restaurant style ramen will be served in a broth surely!

TBC can fight me on it

[Captain Z]

There's a second orange box to the right that's cut off in your photo, what are those instructions for?

If you want them 'dry' to eat on a plate then drain the water before adding the sauce/seasoning, but you are equally welcome to keep some/most/all of the water if you're going for more of a noodle soup.

[king_tubby]

The best noodles are the ones from the Chinese supermarket that have an extra packet of some kind of gelatinous substance which is probably 100 year old chef's jizz.

[king_tubby]

I mean the jizz is 100 years old, not the chef. Though they might be too.

[Jerzy Bondov]

The best noodles are the ones from the Chinese supermarket that have an extra packet of some kind of gelatinous substance which is probably 100 year old chef's jizz.

Yes that's what I mean. Really really nice.

[Barry Admin]

There's a second orange box to the right that's cut off in your photo, what are those instructions for?

If you want them 'dry' to eat on a plate then drain the water before adding the sauce/seasoning, but you are equally welcome to keep some/most/all of the water if you're going for more of a noodle soup.

...noodle soup!

Sounds disgusting, if you ask me.

[king_tubby]

The early 2010s ramen obsession obviously passed Barry by.

[Barry Admin]

The best noodles are the ones from the Chinese supermarket that have an extra packet of some kind of gelatinous substance which is probably 100 year old chef's jizz.

That's what these are, cheap ones from the Mace. I accidentally cooked the jizz sachet but it's probably nicer warmed up anyway, more authentic or something.

I'm gonna get more and try the recommended way, I think. I don't see how I won't just end up eating powdery noodles.


Thanks Noonling, that's what I thought.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Good to see that you're eating healthy anyway. Keep it up.

[I edited instead of quoting beause I'm an idiot cunt, sorry -BAdmin]

[wosl]

One of the foods you're most likely to choke on aren't they, noodles?  Not a good choice for people who automatically tend to bolt their food (a mass of melted cheese of the rubbery, stringy sort poses even more of a risk). 

[Barry Admin]

Good to see that you're eating healthy anyway. Keep it up.

That is definitely sarcasm! I am 100% sure!

(Sorry, I edited your post instead of quoting.)



I do actually worry about choking to death, as I'm always so hyper and distracted and rushing to do the next thing. So sometimes I'll eat a big lump of cold ham and it gets jammed in my throat in this dry, awful panicy way.

[JesusAndYourBush]

The method I do is...

1. Boil kettle
2. While kettle is boiling, put the cake of noodles into a bowl and empty the contents of the sachets on top. I try and do this before the kettle has finished boiling, but rarely manage it because some of the little sachets are fiddly (I've had some from the Chinese supermarket with 5 sachets).
3. Pour boiling water on and cover with a plate
4. After a couple of minutes take the plate off and and use a fork to turn the mass of noodles over and jiggle them around a little, put the plate back on and leave for a couple more minutes.
5. Don't pour the water away. By that point the noodles should have absorbed quite a bit of the water. If you end up with too much water then you're doing something wrong.

[Dewt]

I almost broke up with my fiancee about this 15 years ago

It depends on the noodles. You don't want to be adding the seasoning of Super Noodles after they've exited the water, as they won't taste right. But the 8p-style cheapo packets tend to be better if you add the powder later. Totally depends on the noodle and what you want the outcome to be.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Bin sachets, mix in 1/2 lime, 3tbsp soy sauce, 2tbsp rice vinegar, 1tsp sugar, veg stock, minced garlic/ginger, 1tbsp peanut butter, tamarind.

[bgmnts]

Fuck the sachet, bung some mushrooms in a pan with some garlic, soy sauce and sesame oil and add that to the noodles and retain a smidge of water. Or chuck the noodles into the pain too for around 20 seconds instead.

Best you'll eat.

[Barry Admin]

I really cackled at you and your fiance Dewt, soz :-)

The method I do is...

1. Boil kettle
2. While kettle is boiling, put the cake of noodles into a bowl and empty the contents of the sachets on top. I try and do this before the kettle has finished boiling, but rarely manage it because some of the little sachets are fiddly (I've had some from the Chinese supermarket with 5 sachets).
3. Pour boiling water on and cover with a plate
4. After a couple of minutes take the plate off and and use a fork to turn the mass of noodles over and jiggle them around a little, put the plate back on and leave for a couple more minutes.
5. Don't pour the water away. By that point the noodles should have absorbed quite a bit of the water. If you end up with too much water then you're doing something wrong.

My method:
1. Use only pot, which is unfortunately too big.
2. Estimate water needed.
3. Fuck stuff in pot.
4. Start looking at phone.
5. Get bored and go into living room.
6. Post inane thread on CaB.
7. Realise cooker isn't turned on, eventually. Alternatively, hear hissing noise, remember noodles, dash into kitchen.
8. If they're not too burnt and stuck to the bottom, then start stirring a lot and bashing up all the still dry bits of noodle.
9. Serve! No excess water to drain off as I sat in the living room stroking Jelly and looking at my phone for so long that my noodles are now fat bloated water-logged cunts.
10. Diarrhoea.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Do you have a microwave? Chuck them in a bowl with some water for a few minutes if you're easily distracted and at risk of burning your kitchen down.

[Barry Admin]

Nah, I hate them and avoid them if possible.

Edit: I'm back making the old soup again in my wee slow cooker though, I can do that, although I do occasionally go rogue and fuck way too many flavours in and it turns out like shite. And I only really use a packet of soup veg and some mix, and a stock cube. I can't remember how I managed to fuck even that up recently.

Oh I remember, I had a packet of leek and potato soup stuff and I thought, ohhh I need a stock cube for flavour, I'll try this beef one and see what happens. Shit was minging. And then I diarrhoead.

[Dewt]

Bin sachets, mix in 1/2 lime, 3tbsp soy sauce, 2tbsp rice vinegar, 1tsp sugar, veg stock, minced garlic/ginger, 1tbsp peanut butter, tamarind.

But people are after a specific flavour that this doesn't replicate. It might be nice, but it's missing the point if it isn't a replacement. How is this the same as chow mein Super Noodles, which have a heavy star anise flavour to them?

I really cackled at you and your fiance Dewt, soz :-)

She was a student in England and would not believe that Super Noodles aren't like any kind of American instant noodle and will taste like shit if you don't cook them in the right way. She ended up coming around and so the important thing is that I won. I won the noodles argument of January 2007. I'm probably going to text that now.

[Bence Fekete]

Fuck the sachet

..but always wear a condiment.

[Sebastian Cobb]

But people are after a specific flavour that this doesn't replicate. It might be nice, but it's missing the point if it isn't a replacement. How is this the same as chow mein Super Noodles, which have a heavy star anise flavour to them?

I just buy the noodles 'cos they're cheaper than plain ones.i didn't know there was a point but now you've raised it I don't like it.

[Sin Agog]

You've been getting it wrong by not getting rice noodles and stir frying them suckaz with vegetables.

I may have developed a prejudice against the packet kind after I got such bad food poisoning that I was vomiting out bits of placenta, and the noodles I'd eaten earlier that day stuck it out right to the bitter end as wormy white strings cameoing in my toilet bowl after the fiftieth eruption.

[robhug]

A sure fire way to know life is going badly is eating super noodles in a bedsit when your over 40.

And someone told me that.