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Have I been getting noodles wrong?

Started by Barry Admin, February 26, 2020, 03:37:19 PM

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bgmnts

Holy shit what would happen if you put the noodles IN the kettle, filled it and boiled it?



Shoulders?-Stomach!


madhair60


QDRPHNC

If I'm making a ramen soup I just boil them in the broth itself and throw some dumplings / shrimp in along with. I'd only do them in water if I'm going to fry them a bit afterwards. As for cleaning them with boiling water, you pour cold water on them to stop them from cooking. OK I have to leave this thread I'm getting annoyed now.


Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Dewt on February 26, 2020, 05:53:49 PM
Cuntbeaks,



You probably think this is a mangle for drying your pasta after it's been freshly laundered.
A very Trumpian interpretation of soy sauces, frankly.

If I wanted a meal that was a faff, I wouldn't be cooking pasta.

pigamus

For Super Noodles:

1. Stick block in plastic jug
2. Sachet
3. Slug of boiling water
4. Microwave 1 min
5. Turn block over with fork
6. 1 min
7. Final swizzle with fork
8. 1 min
9. Done

Quote from: QDRPHNC on February 26, 2020, 06:08:52 PM
If I'm making a ramen soup I just boil them in the broth itself and throw some dumplings / shrimp in along with. I'd only do them in water if I'm going to fry them a bit afterwards. As for cleaning them with boiling water, you pour cold water on them to stop them from cooking. OK I have to leave this thread I'm getting annoyed now.

In an episode of Celebrity Come Dine With Me from 2010 Lembit Opik served vegetable ramen to his guests (Iain Lee, Jodie Marsh, The Lovely Debbie Mcgee) and none of them had heard of it.

2020 and everyone's an expert.

BECKON LION
noodles in shoe/vase
RUFFLE LION
agitate noodles
COERCE LION
stumble noodle fun!
...wait, wait...
HALT LION
<ends>

QDRPHNC

Quote from: Better Midlands on February 26, 2020, 06:27:58 PM
In an episode of Celebrity Come Dine With Me from 2010 Lembit Opik served vegetable ramen to his guests (Iain Lee, Jodie Marsh, The Lovely Debbie Mcgee) and none of them had heard of it.

2020 and everyone's an expert.

Not my problem.

wosl


king_tubby

Can I just say... 'udon'.

There. That shocked you.

H-O-W-L

Quote from: bgmnts on February 26, 2020, 04:56:36 PM
Fuck the sachet, bung some mushrooms in a pan with some garlic, soy sauce and sesame oil and add that to the noodles and retain a smidge of water. Or chuck the noodles into the pain too for around 20 seconds instead.

Best you'll eat.

why the fuck would you buy instant noodles if you're going to actually cook, though

king_tubby


Beagle 2

Really do want quite a lot of noodles now.

Not super noodles. The worst pain imaginable is getting a welded super noodle stuck under your thumb nail whist washing up.

9p Asda curry sauce ones from 2000 pls.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: H-O-W-L on February 26, 2020, 09:07:49 PM
why the fuck would you buy instant noodles if you're going to actually cook, though

Because the food industry bilks money out of people for cooking, ramen is cheaper than plain noodles.

Just like you can pay a fortune for glass jars to make jam in, or buy smartprice bolognese or curry sauce and tip the shit straight down the bog.

touchingcloth

Yeah, you have. You can't even noodle ahaha

Thursday

Not had Super Noodles in years, never actually liked the flavour sachets that come with them. I get the cups or bowls now, not a pot noodle, obviously a proper one that seem to have actually been imported from China or Japan like Shin Cup.

If it's a side for a meal, then just get the bag of nests from the supermarket.

Famous Mortimer

Quote from: wosl on February 26, 2020, 06:49:32 PM

I was quite impressed that you'd found a picture of Geddy Lee holding a kettle until I looked at it for a second time. Bugger.

Living in America, and being a veggie, noodles are a tough proposition over here. They do 'em, but almost every variety I find has some sort of meat in it. Even when it's not specifically meat-flavoured, they'll sneak some of the fucker in, somewhere on the ingredient list. There seems to be some sort of hysteria over just producing cheap food with no meat in it. Although, the variety that was linked on the previous page is available over here, and does appear to be veggie, so I might have a go.

Sebastian Cobb

Pot noodles are better in that they go all in with the decadence and there's no washing up.

Old Thrashbarg

Last week at work someone made a Pot Noodle ('made' is too strong a word actually. Prepared. Someone prepared a Pot Noodle) for breakfast. The first meal of the day. I've got no idea what flavour it was, but as far as I'm aware Pot Noodles don't come in flavours one would traditionally associate with breakfast. But they'll have filled the kettle with water, set it boiling, maybe emptied the sachet of non-breakfast flavouring into the pot whilst waiting for the water to boil, then poured the hot water into the pot.

They then gave the whole thing a thorough stir to make the noodles the requisite amount of soggy, before eating the first mouthful. At this point they decided that a Pot Noodle was not what they wanted for breakfast. I've no idea why it took so long to work out that a Pot Noodle wasn't what was called for at that time of day, but they also decided, quite reasonably, that it wouldn't keep until lunch or some other appropriate meal.

I'm not someone who is willing to waste food, so if I'd made the mistake of preparing a Pot Noodle, even at breakfast time, I'd still just eat it and live with the consequences. But if I did decide to dispose of it for whatever reason, I'd likely drain any excess water into the sink and then place the Pot and the Noodles together into the bin. Not this person though. They decided that pouring the contents of the Pot into the sink, wholesale, was the thing to do. And then, when they somehow didn't all just disappear down the plug hole, the tap was turned on at full power. Any noodles that weren't already completely sodden would presumably have absorbed some of this water, swelling up further and becoming less likely to slither away. I'm assuming the plug hole became blocked at this point, so they got a fork and mashed the noodles, remarking "this usually works at home", whilst still spraying them with water, until they eventually disappeared.

They were definitely getting noodles wrong.

Hand Solo

Quote from: king_tubby on February 26, 2020, 08:59:38 PM
Can I just say... 'udon'.

There. That shocked you.

Love me some Udon noodles, they're thick as fuck, have texture and a bit of bite. Hate those thin stringy ones, might as well be noshing on a bowl full of tapeworms and wet pubes. I don't use those sachets though, I get me some of this moreish MSG laden goodness from Tesco:



FREE: Headache, Flushing, Sweating, Facial pressure or tightness, Numbness, tingling or burning in the face, neck and other areas, Rapid, fluttering heartbeats (heart palpitations), Chest pain, Nausea, Weakness.

Mmmmmm.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Old Thrashbarg on February 26, 2020, 10:24:40 PM
Last week at work someone made a Pot Noodle ('made' is too strong a word actually. Prepared. Someone prepared a Pot Noodle) for breakfast. The first meal of the day. I've got no idea what flavour it was, but as far as I'm aware Pot Noodles don't come in flavours one would traditionally associate with breakfast. But they'll have filled the kettle with water, set it boiling, maybe emptied the sachet of non-breakfast flavouring into the pot whilst waiting for the water to boil, then poured the hot water into the pot.

They then gave the whole thing a thorough stir to make the noodles the requisite amount of soggy, before eating the first mouthful. At this point they decided that a Pot Noodle was not what they wanted for breakfast. I've no idea why it took so long to work out that a Pot Noodle wasn't what was called for at that time of day, but they also decided, quite reasonably, that it wouldn't keep until lunch or some other appropriate meal.

I'm not someone who is willing to waste food, so if I'd made the mistake of preparing a Pot Noodle, even at breakfast time, I'd still just eat it and live with the consequences. But if I did decide to dispose of it for whatever reason, I'd likely drain any excess water into the sink and then place the Pot and the Noodles together into the bin. Not this person though. They decided that pouring the contents of the Pot into the sink, wholesale, was the thing to do. And then, when they somehow didn't all just disappear down the plug hole, the tap was turned on at full power. Any noodles that weren't already completely sodden would presumably have absorbed some of this water, swelling up further and becoming less likely to slither away. I'm assuming the plug hole became blocked at this point, so they got a fork and mashed the noodles, remarking "this usually works at home", whilst still spraying them with water, until they eventually disappeared.

They were definitely getting noodles wrong.

We all make mistakes in the morning from time to time, once emptied the kettle into a jar of nescafe, maybe they poured the water into the pot noodle then panicked, it escalated into a mini falling down situation.

bgmnts

Quote from: H-O-W-L on February 26, 2020, 09:07:49 PM
why the fuck would you buy instant noodles if you're going to actually cook, though

Its barely cooking tbh, couple mins in the pan like. Plus instant noodles are cheap and boil fast.

Dewt



Icehaven

Quote from: bgmnts on February 26, 2020, 06:05:08 PM
Holy shit what would happen if you put the noodles IN the kettle, filled it and boiled it?

Very common prison recipe.
Anyway someone I lived with in halls at uni often used to prepare himself a bowl of super noodles while playing Goldeneye on the PS1, but he'd either fall asleep or get carried away with the game and forget to eat them, then in the morning he'd tip the cold, set noodles onto a plate before chucking them away, and they looked just like a brain.

Thursday


Flatulent Fox

Quote from: wosl on February 26, 2020, 06:49:32 PM

Bono from the U2 recommends using less water than him when you make the noodels.
Because of the environment.


Sebastian Cobb

It was me that invented folding a frozen pizza box back on itself and using it as a plate.

Putting waffles in the toaster as well, another one of mine.