Cricket thread 2020: executing our skillsets

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Straight back to business.

[Cuellar]

Haha nice ball, dogshit batting.

Love it!!

[poo]

0-1  LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT!

[finnquark]

Well left

[Old Thrashbarg]

Now I've never been a great batsmen against pace. But I reckon, if the ball is reasonably close to the stumps, putting your bat just outside the line of off with a loose grip probably has a better chance of keeping you in that letting it hit your stumps.

[poo]

Covid-ridden paedophile cunts. Really missed them.

[iamcoop]

Fucking hell I've missed this. Straight into POWER VIRUS. First arrest of the summer, Sibley to be questioned under caution during the rain break over some vintage Lewis Carroll photography found in his kitbag.

[Sheffield Wednesday]

Get these boys on a fuckin VENT asap. Worst case of fondant dogshit lung I've ever seen. Coppers on their way to confiscate ALL devices and Thug Life is guzzling microSD cards like they're fuckin MINSTRELS

[badaids]

Sibley's defence as robust as an octogenarian's immune system in the face of covid. 

Very fitting seeing as England are wearing 'yellows' today instead of the traditional whites.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Hahaha

Love the decision to bat first

Stokes outing the AIDS WEASELS he has to work with

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Capt Tom to open next game.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Joe Denly the new man in. You feel he needs a big score in this Test/series. The Kent man has played 14 Tests, averages 30 but is still searching for his maiden Test century

Written as though that's the final piece of the puzzle rather than something a test batsman wants ticking off as soon as possible ideally with multiple centuries amassed by the 14th test.

[iamcoop]

Play to resume Second wicket to fall at 14.45 if no further rain.

[badaids]

Written as though that's the final piece of the puzzle rather than something a test batsman wants ticking off as soon as possible ideally with multiple centuries amassed by the 14th test.

Even David Steele 'the bank clerk who went to war' picked at the age of 33 to face Lilley and Thommo in the '75 Ashes, managed a string of decent scores against that pair of violent cunts.

Imagine how Denly would Karposi Carcoma-ed that up.

[finnquark]

The delays are pathetic aren't they. The covers are off but they're waiting 15 more minutes, get on with it for fucks sake.

[badaids]

Would love to see the Windies totally skittle this bunch of peens tbh.

[Sheffield Wednesday]

I've missed this. Had to turn all of my hate onto politicians and stuff. This is the real deal though.

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I was kind of hoping the BBC's first set of cricket highlights since the 90's would be comprised of those three hapless overs.

[iamcoop]

The delays are pathetic aren't they. The covers are off but they're waiting 15 more minutes, get on with it for fucks sake.

Why bother making test matches time efficient and value for money for the supporters when we can just have Moeen Ali in a WHEAT CRUNCHIES top in the HUNDRED

[finnquark]

Why bother making test matches time efficient and value for money for the supporters when we can just have Moeen Ali in a WHEAT CRUNCHIES top in the HUNDRED

Look the Hundred is a very important project for the cricketing family, and the pandemic has just exacerbated the need for it. A rollicking night of family fun will be a perfect tribute to the key workers and deceased.

[iamcoop]

Come on Gabriel kill him.

[badaids]

Just seen the scorecard.

Genuinely stunned.  That is the worst batting line up I've ever seen in an England team. 

And I saw a team with Mark Ealham and Robert Croft in it once.

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Watching Dogshit Denly in the drizzle.

Heaven.

[finnquark]

Glad they took that time to make sure the stump cam was in place.

[badaids]

Denly's average is up to 30.04 - good work.

[Inspector Norse]

Four-hour drive up the E4 today, Europe's dullest motorway. Stopped for lunch looking forward to three hours' uninterrupted TMS listening.

Got to hear three overs and Tuffers talking about room service.

[Cuellar]

"Of course, the England side not allowed to use saliva to shine the ball, because they're all riddled"

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Christ, Weekes friend Donna Simmons who appeared as a guest on TMS absolutely wiped the floor with Aggers. Seemingly an elderly lady but a more cogent forthright speaker you couldn't wish to find.

[Cuellar]

Aggers get in graggers

[iamcoop]

Another pathetic showcase for the game there. They could of easily played for a couple of hours more today. All this fannying about gets on my tits and makes cricket a fucking laughing stock. It's outdoor sport, fucking hell get out there and lose.