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March 28, 2024, 07:43:45 PM

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Cricket thread 2020: executing our skillsets

Started by sevendaughters, March 06, 2020, 05:40:58 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Shoulders?-Stomach!

That umpiring decision to give Pant not out was crucial. We were fucking AIDS after that. Stuffing slowly fell out.

Up until then it was gripping viewing. Foregone conclusion now.

Harry Badger

#1951
I really felt sorry for Bess today. I got a terrible case of the yips in September and it's the most unsettling and embarrassing thing a cricketer can experience. At least if you are a batsman out of form you will be out sooner or later and it's over. As a bowler you have to at least finish the over. It was bad enough in front of a few dozen spectators, I can't imagine how it would feel in front of an away crowd.

Anyone got plans/hopes for playing this summer? I'm the fixture secretary for my league, and based on some inside info from Cricket Wales, I was instructed to prepare a full programme of fixtures starting in early May and ending in mid-August. I also have a back-up plan which assumes a mid-June start. I'm reasonably optimistic as it's the Sennedd elections in May and you would think Drakeford would want to announce some good news before then about relaxing restrictions. It's cricket not sumo wrestling for fuck's sake (though a fair few of us would be able to do both).

sevendaughters

I don't think I'll ever play again but I was telling Mrs 7D I'd like to start umpiring like I used to in my teens. This last year has eaten eight years of staying in and doing shit all tokens.

Inspector Norse

I haven't played in years but there are believe it or not a handful of clubs in Stockholm and I noticed some ex-colleagues had entered a T20 league, am thinking of getting in touch. Only issue is some of them are Legend Gary wankahs and joining the team might mean having to spend time at theme pubs on team nights out. The other team I looked at has training at 6pm on Mondays on the other side of town so nope.

There's a bunch of Indian guys who have occasionally been seen playing on the sports field behind our street, if they turn up again I might do the classic thing of hanging on the sidelines practicing my cover drives and waiting for them to invite me to join in.

Shoulders?-Stomach!


Chedney Honks

I'd genuinely love to play cricket again but sadly banned for two years after I called our captain a 'peadwraith' for opening with spin.

Expires at the end of the season but I'm not one for crawling back.

poo

Signed up for a charity match August bank holiday. Not gonna happen is it.

poo

I've abandoned this rabies now. Going well?

Inspector Norse

Quote from: poo on March 06, 2021, 08:24:57 AM
Signed up for a charity match August bank holiday. Not gonna happen is it.

Nope because you'll be batting 3 for England at this rate

Inspector Norse

#1959
India's number 8 and 9 batsmen made more runs than the entire England second innings.

Thursday

Load of shite

"Ahh but these Indian pitches mean..."

Fuck off, learn how to play against it. Git Gud.

BlodwynPig


Inspector Norse

Quote from: Thursday on March 06, 2021, 10:49:52 AM
Fuck off, learn how to play against it. Git Gud.

They can't, that's the problem. County cricket in England is now played almost exclusively in April and October when all the pitches look like golf fairways and the bowlers are portly 47-year-olds who bowl 70-mile-an-hour swing. When the batsmen do get to play in summer or abroad, it's in hit-and-giggle bollocks where the pitches are prepared to a plan drawn up by Chris Gayle and Babe Ruth and batsmen might as well have their feet strapped to the crease. Then if they do make enough runs in county cricket to get picked for England ahead of Ed Smith's babysitter, they will play three tests at home on greentops and average 17.4 before they are flown over to the subcontinent, given one two-day warm-up against their own teammates to get used to the conditions, and are then dropped FOREVER because they didn't pick a guy with 400 test wickets bowling doosras.

iamcoop

I think there's more than a good chance India will beat us when they come over here. Green seamers or not.

Chedney Honks

We shall put them to the sword. Fingers crossed that Jofra beams Koach into a koma.

Inspector Norse

Jofra won't play, he will be injured after Root and Silverwood make him bowl a 50-over spell in a warm-up game because "come on Jof, this is key, just a few more on off stump and eventually Jonny will hit one and then you'll see, that'll give him the confidence he needs to go out there and make that big score that's just around the corner".

Pranet

Quote from: Inspector Norse on March 05, 2021, 04:30:16 PM
I haven't played in years but there are believe it or not a handful of clubs in Stockholm and I noticed some ex-colleagues had entered a T20 league, am thinking of getting in touch. Only issue is some of them are Legend Gary wankahs and joining the team might mean having to spend time at theme pubs on team nights out. The other team I looked at has training at 6pm on Mondays on the other side of town so nope.


Acquaintance of mine is a keen cricketer. On moving house he joined the local cricket club. He quickly left it again because if you took a wicket one of your team mates would stick their finger up your bottom. tbh I sort of assume that is what all sport clubs are like.

rjd2

Quote from: iamcoop on March 06, 2021, 02:56:04 PM
I think there's more than a good chance India will beat us when they come over here. Green seamers or not.


Doubtful.

England are a very streaky team, but its incredibly difficult to win a test series in England.

India have issues for me,,,I don't think the batting is strong as the team that showed up in 2018 and lost 4-1.

Kohli is still very good, but showing signs of very slight decline, Rahane is their Ian Bell. Career has numerous glorious innings but also way to many failures. He is also aging so I think he will have a very tough time in England.

The openers also not ideal. Rohit is a monster in Asia, but Anderson will have a lot of fun with him and Gill looks very raw.

Need to check Pujara numbers in England also.

They also will likely pick 3 seamers who are aids with the bat, that's an issue as their will be some low scoring tests where lower order runs are essential.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: Pranet on March 06, 2021, 04:18:59 PM
Acquaintance of mine is a keen cricketer. On moving house he joined the local cricket club. He quickly left it again because if you took a wicket one of your team mates would stick their finger up your bottom. tbh I sort of assume that is what all sport clubs are like.

The club I played with was nothing like that, just a bunch of miserable bitter cunts, no cameraderie and no team spirit, just whinging or silence. Great stuff when you're paying £50 subs and £10 every game to essentially spend 90% of the time hanging around with them or fielding.

There must be a middle ground but it takes people with leadership skills and a conscience.

Incidentally, the teams I played against who had some women in the team seemed uniformly a better bunch of lads. Friendly, chatty, less shitty behaviour.

sevendaughters

feel like the bloom is well and truly off the rose with Jofra. a great hope diminished and possibly permacrocked.

druss

Quote from: rjd2 on March 06, 2021, 07:07:58 PM

Doubtful.

England are a very streaky team, but its incredibly difficult to win a test series in England.
Indeed, we've only lost 4 test series at home this century. That number falls to two if you only include longer series of 4 or more tests.
Quote from: sevendaughters on March 08, 2021, 10:33:55 AM
feel like the bloom is well and truly off the rose with Jofra. a great hope diminished and possibly permacrocked.
If only we could have seen this coming.

Thursday

It's disappointing, but he can't just brain ball everyone all the time, otherwise questions might be asked. Got to save that for The Ashes.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

QuoteIndeed, we've only lost 4 test series at home this century. That number falls to two if you only include longer series of 4 or more tests.

Yes, but we also must work on the basis that England should be winning or drawing virtually every home series aside of when other teams reach their peak (eg. Aus 2001)

We have lost 30 home tests in that time which is 1.5 every summer, which gives the sense that everything hasn't always been hunkydory, moreso in the last 7 or 8 years of course where more than a few times we have looked the worse side and got away with it through individual brilliance or sudden inexplicable fuckups handing it to us on a plate.

This is being a cricket fan. Moaning and moaning and moaning.




sevendaughters

there are way fewer draws now which might skew perceptions. Root is on his way to getting the record for both most wins and most defeats as England captain.

I don't think it's technique or playing spin. It's more that England don't have a batting unit with defined roles. There are no dependables, there are no gutsy middle order types like Collingwood and there is no partnerships in the top 4. Often it's been one stand out innings or a wagging tail that has got us results, particularly at home under Root.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Well, Sibley will bat forever for 50 and is gutsy but often gets out early in his innings.

Crawley should be our number 5. I can see Pietersen level potential but needs to knuckle down a bit first.

Pope looks to have lost something somewhere. Looked pretty bad against spin and quite rusty overall.

Lawrence looks nowhere near good enough and a bit like a shit Crawley. They both have weird flapping Terence and Philip mouths too.

Root and Stokes (who still only averages 37) are about the only reliable players. It is getting that bad that even Buttler is starting to look relatively ok.

It's bad times for England batting, hasn't been this bad since 99-01. Loads of failures and a mixture of inconsistent young players out of their depth.

Chedney Honks

Those Ashes were the best days of my sporting life in some respects. Universe Jos. Universe Jof. Brain music. Thuglife. Burns victim. Roy Rape. Tears In Heaven. Head Prefect. Bowl of dogshit. Peadwraith Royale. Blood lust. Waves of hatred. The ecstasy of failure. The self-immolation of victory. I truly lived every moment. I'm genuinely surprised that I didn't kill more people. Such a wonderful time.

Cricket hasn't really meant anything since. Thanks for the glistening memories and the tremendous company. See you for the T20WC.

druss

Best thing about the last Ashes series apart from that Stokes innings was seeing Australians desperately trying to celebrate as though they'd actually won something. Neither team has retained the Ashes with a draw for nearly 50 years so it was like they didn't really know what was appropriate or not. "The Ashes is the only thing that matters so this was a successful tour".

Was it fuck, you (or specifically Nathan Lyon) threw away a chance to beat England in England for the first time since 2001. No one is going to remember your team for a drawn series. But that Headingly test will still be replayed in 100 years.

Obviously would have rather won the series but snatching a draw from the jaws of defeat (no way we would have won the last two test matches if we'd lost at Headingly) felt like the great escape, particularly given how godlike Smith and Labuschagne were.

Edit: Thought I'd have a look at the stats and Australia's were better in almost every department. Had also forgotten that we didn't have Anderson apart from 4 injured overs. Miracle draw, that series.

sevendaughters

AFG figured out how to bat and rebound from a trashing better than our lot. 307/3 at stumps.

Harry Badger

England v South Africa legends is on Sky CH 714. Been watching a few of these games. Monty and KP looked like they could still be playing international cricket but James Tredwell is a properly fat cunt. Tremlett is buff as fuck.