Cricket thread 2020: executing our skillsets

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Off for bad light? Eng fked if so

[Inspector Norse]

I remember this Campbell guy from the Caribbean tour last winter. He must be so frustrating to bowl at: he plays like an overpromoted number 9, all big play-and-misses, streaky edges and hopeful slogs and he somehow keeps getting away with it for an hour and making 36.

England could do with a good seamer with a knack for getting rid of left-handed openers. Wonder if they have one of those?

[Inspector Norse]

That over a microcosm of Campbell: one edge short of slip, one edge just missing the stumps, one heave for four, and hit on the pads three times and finally plumb LBW for 28.

Like Denly but more entertaining.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Relatively OK innings in the circumstances. Don't worry about the chances if you're a batsman, move past the last ball and err.. Get out lbw eventually.

[Inspector Norse]

Relatively OK innings in the circumstances.

Denly's gravestone

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Yeah I'd have said the same even if Denly had carved and fluked a 30 in reply to 209 in the dark.

Got to be said, this has been a rancid display from England. The South Africa series was lucky for us to meet a side in even worse strife than ourselves. Archer opening the bowling and Wood over Broad just doesn't feel right. In the first game due to be overcast you want your banker players playing.

[iamcoop]

England could do with a good seamer with a knack for getting rid of left-handed openers. Wonder if they have one of those?

This is it in a nutshell. The minute everyone starts creaming their chinos over the possibility of two bowlers in the side that can hit 90mph they forget that we're in England playing in humid overcast conditions and you're about to drop somebody that's taken 485 test wickets and still probably has at least another solid 2 years play in him. I like Wood, I like Archer, but I don't understand why we're even having the conversation about having both of them in the same team during a test in England.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Woakesy would have had Windies 6 down by now.

[iamcoop]

Woakesy would have had Windies 6 down by now.

And he'd have your dinner on the table when you came in from a tough day at the office.

[Quote]

Heh, wicket from a no ball. Going through all the hits.

Windies are going to grind us into the dust today.

[Thursday]

Ahh so it's going to be one of those "204 isn't that bad on this pitch!" *West Indies pass it with ease*

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Even among the litany of fuck ups for England in test cricket, this is shaping up to be an absolute doozy.

Not assessing the conditions, picking Denly, batting first, dropping Broad, then bowling loads of short pitched stuff in the gloomy English conditions yesterday. Then end up with Windies only 1 down on a lovely sunny day. There is definitely a score of 350 for West Indies here if they knuckle down.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Big ton from Queeg coming up

[Cuellar]

Tantalising shots of Rahkeem Cornwall on the sidelines.

[Inspector Norse]

Archer and Wood wicketless and going 4 an over, dropping Broad clearly another STELLAR decision

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Too many toys to play with and over thinking the whole uneven bounce situation. Anderson and Broad don't play White ball stuff now. It's the first test of an English summer under cloudy skies for the first two days, they are in the form of their careers so they have to play


But you bat first and drop Broad! LOL LOL LOL Paedophile Rotary Club

Given Stokes is another right arm over bowler arguably Curran should feel a tad sore to miss out (if he's fit, dunno) too.

[finnquark]

Could watch Roston block his way to a 50 all day. Great stuff.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Perfect innings from Queeg 500. Tire us out then Holder to come yet who could butcher us tbf.

[iamcoop]

Quite remarkable levels of paedophilic activity this afternoon. Hope Holder gets a ton. He seems like a good bloke.

[iamcoop]

Bowling well with the new ball here.

[Inspector Norse]

Quite remarkable levels of paedophilic activity this afternoon. Hope Holder gets a ton. He seems like a good bloke.

Jason Holder has three centuries in his entire first-class career (71 matches before this).

Two of them were against England.

The other was against Zimbabwe.

[finnquark]

Bowling well with the new ball here.

Needs a bit more short stuff

[Inspector Norse]

Needs a bit more short stuff

Tailenders Joseph and Gabriel both removed by full balls on the stumps

Chris Silverwood: "I think that 45-over barrage of short fast stuff really softened them up, that's something we'll look to do again in future"

[badaids]

Archer and Wood wicketless and going 4 an over, dropping Broad clearly another STELLAR decision

One wicket between them, and that was the number 11 with an average of 4.

[badaids]

These openers are getting a good deep investigation of their computer hard drives by the West Indian Operation Yewtree vice squad.

[iamcoop]

Three days down and nothing but absolute war crime level atrocity from our brave lads. God I love this game.

[Thursday]

Look, we still might do enough to get them to have to bat again (very briefly.) what more do you want?

[badaids]

Still no files found on the hard drives of these two, but surely it's a matter of time before 20,000 jpegs turn up squirreled away in a sub file somewhere. 

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

TruPaed® from Burns there.

Windies have been brilliant in the last hour. Chloroformed the event, 1 Paed snuffed.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Just one look at Denly
And you know it's gonna be
A load of Aiiiiiiiiiiids