Colonoscopy

[Blue Jam]

Witnessed two endoscopies back when I was on a work experience week with a load of other would-be medical students in 1999. Two different patients, having them done at two different ends. I left with the impression that up the bum is preferable to down the oesophagus if we're talking about endoscopes.

I changed my mind about that career choice shortly aftwerwards, but it wasn't because of the colonoscopies, honest. Bit o'twilight anaesthesia, you'll be grand. Hope it all goes well with you and the consultant bum explorer.

[Sherringford Hovis]

Hide a Lego man, a Kinder Surprise toy and some 20p pieces up yer jacksie before you go to hospital - being a colonoscoper isn't the most exciting job and you'll really cheer them up. Especially if you let them keep the coins - NHS pay isn't great.

[Mobius]

I've had loads of these. Do drink all the prep or you'll get bad results and have to do it again.

It doesn't hurt at all and you're out for all of it.

[Enzo]

Hi friends,

brief update on my procedure. Did the sedation, but still felt a bit of pain when another doctor stuck his finger up there for good measure.

The news wasn't promising. They think I have a cancerous growth right at the edge of my anus. They took biopsies and im going for a CT scan tomorrow before a proper diagnosis in a week or two.

Absolutely massive shock as I assumed it was just a nasty dose of piles or maybe an inflammatory bowel disorder (I'm on biologic injections for psoriatic arthritis). Trying to keep the anxiety down until the final decision, but the waiting is very tough.

The hopefully good news is that the Doctor thinks that if it is cancerous then they have caught it early

Will keep you updated, and would appreciate some good thoughts!

[H-O-W-L]

All the best.

[bgmnts]

Good stuff. You'll be reet.

[Blue Jam]

Strength to you x

[Cloud]

Hoping for the best for you.  Nightmare scenario but catching things early is a good thing.

[hedgehog90]

I've had a bit of an issue for a year now. Occasionally I have very bloody shits. Like, a lot of blood. Completely painless. It's only when I go in with a tissue to inspect the damage that I found out. It's quite fun in a way, I sometimes wager bets with myself.
Blood or shit? Blood or shit?
You can imagine Brucie presenting a light entertainment show based around it, with the studio audience getting dead into it, screaming about the state of my arse.

When I have a bout of bum bleeding, I usually have it for a couple days and then it goes away for a month. I like to think of it as 'my time of the month'.
It's probably an internal hemorrhoid, but it's very persistent. Had my latest gush yesterday and it was a proper big'un. Felt a bit weak afterwards.

After seeing your diagnosis I've decided to finally have it checked out. That and Google Photos reminded me this morning of my bum problem anniversary, when it kindly presented a picture I took exactly 1 year ago of a tissue soaked in blood, with the caption 'Remember this?'

My dad recently had a bit of bowel cancer, my grandfather also had it later in life, so it's foolish that I've left it this long, really.

Hope it goes well for you, Enzo. With any luck it's not cancerous, or if it is you've caught it nice and early.

[Cloud]

I had some arse bleeding and Dr Google said if it's bright red it's probably piles (mine also comes back occasionally but there's an obvious hemorrhoid that sticks out and hurts when it does, some cream sorts it for a while) if it's black or dark red that's when it's worrying.  But don't take the advice of Dr Google first or second hand, the real doctor knows best.

[imitationleather]

That does sound like piles but bloody hell get it checked out. When I had one a few years back when it burst I was alarmed by how much blood there was.

And I'll be thinking of you, Enzo.

[Ant Farm Keyboard]

Went through it today. Nothing serious spotted (some hemorrhoids). It was through general anesthesia (the first time I had one).

Moviprep is disgusting, especially when you approach the end of the second liter. For the first liter, I had taken the bottle out of the fridge at the start. For the second, I thought that it should remain cold to be more tolerable. It doesn't get more enjoyable at all. It's still some revulsive margarita-flavoured preparation. I had one good idea, though, which was I watched at the same time several episodes of Amazon's Hunters, a terrible and poorly-considered show that turned out to be a great inspiration for when I had to sit in the bathroom.

My thoughts are with Enzo. I hope you're in good hands, and it's true that an early diagnosis means a lot for the treatment.

[Glebe]

Sorry to hear it Enzo, though it sound's fairly treatable... best of luck.

[Dex Sawash]

Been thinking about everyone's horrible shitter quite a bit

[Mobius]

Moviprep is disgusting

It really is foul, especially the more you drink. Not sure if you knew this but you can dilute it as long as the liquid you are diluting it with his clear/see-through. Still pretty rank but a more lemony sort of rank.

I actually failed to drink the full amount last time and didn't think it'd be a big deal, then was told my results were a bit hard to analyse and they put on my thing that I didn't do the prep properly so they can definitely tell.

[Enzo]

Hi friends!

quick update for you.

After an interminable 2 week wait, it was confirmed that I do have colorectal cancer. Which is not great.

The better news is that it hasn't spread to any organs like the lungs or liver, so it should be very treatable.

I start Chemoradiation in the next week or so and then will have surgery in August to remove the tumour and hopefully not my full rectum, but we'll see.

Thanks for all the well wishes and even though I don't post too much, you guys are really keeping my sane while I'm in isolation before the treatment. Keep it up!

I'm feeling positive, strong and am looking forward to beating this and getting on with my life!

Now to get back to my escape into a nicer world by watching Detectorists and Car Share on repeat.

[canadagoose]

Hi friends!

quick update for you.

After an interminable 2 week wait, it was confirmed that I do have colorectal cancer. Which is not great.

The better news is that it hasn't spread to any organs like the lungs or liver, so it should be very treatable.

I start Chemoradiation in the next week or so and then will have surgery in August to remove the tumour and hopefully not my full rectum, but we'll see.

Thanks for all the well wishes and even though I don't post too much, you guys are really keeping my sane while I'm in isolation before the treatment. Keep it up!

I'm feeling positive, strong and am looking forward to beating this and getting on with my life!

Now to get back to my escape into a nicer world by watching Detectorists and Car Share on repeat.

Sorry to hear of the cancer, Enzo. That's good that you're upbeat about it, though - best of luck with your treatment.

[pancreas]

It is very stupid of you to get cancer if you ask me. I think you had better sort it out, no?

[Enzo]

It is very stupid of you to get cancer if you ask me. I think you had better sort it out, no?

Definitely careless on my part it has to be said. I may wander to the doctors at some stage to see what they say.

[Glebe]

My sincerest sympathies E, that's rough news. Hope all goes well with your treatment, and please take good care of yourself. *hugs*

[Ant Farm Keyboard]

I'm really sad to hear about it. But the fact that it hasn't spread to other organs is indeed very encouraging, and your doctors are definitely doing the right thing regarding the treatment. I hope you'll beat this thing in no time.

[Blue Jam]

Good to hear it's been caught early at least. All the best to you and your rectum x

[Vinnie01]

You'll be sedated for the actual camera-arsening so you will barely feel it. You can opt to not be sedated if you want, though not every doctor will let you. You will have the farts of a lifetime afterward, and feel pretty groggy. The prep is really the worst part.

The farts I know about after removal of the endoscope. Never was sedated when doctors carried out the sigmoidoscopy.

[Cloud]

Just seen the update, shit, the timing could be better but hopefully you're ahead of the curve and get good treatment.  Kick that cancer's ass.