Author Topic: Matter of Fact Dr Grande  (Read 3220 times)

DangledTeeth

  • I'm the avatar's husband.
Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« on: March 07, 2020, 08:45:03 PM »


I'm currently a voice. Simplistic animation of books flying away into the distance and disappearing in to the blankness. Scientically-informed. Insider look. In mental health tahpics. Oh look, they're all plummeting onto each other in order to make a nice stack. They shift sideways with smooth alacrity and - whoosh! - there's my name alongside it.



Reassuring and brief greeting and confirmation of title/identity. I am sat in my office, with a video-editing program on display on my mahnitor. I'm glad it's naht pornahgraphy, that would be embarrassing.

In this video I'm going to analyse the renowned conspiracy theorist called David Icke. Now, I need to emphasise that I'm naht diagonising anybody (as a result of the Goldenshower rule or whateversomethingIdunno) even though David Icke is a fictional character, right. David Icke appeared on the Wogan show in 1991 and wore a hideous jahgging suit. Now, this is a cahmmon symptom of those suffering from grandiose factor 1 clusterrr B narcissistic-schizo-affective-disassociative-bi-polar-attention-deficit-psychopathic-paranoiac-synaethesia disorder. He also speaks a laht about lizards and the moon being hollow, right. Of course, none of that is scientifically true. In my expert opinion, he's a relatively meek, charismatic nutjahb.

Now, I'm usually very impartial and unbiased. I epitomise professional integrity, right. But on this occasion I'm going to be a maverick and state the following: cunt away that David Icke fellow out of the atmospherhre, cunt him away with immediate effect into the farthest nebula and as painfully agonising as pahssible without remorse from ANYONE. Trademark closing statement imminent. Three. Two. One. If you found this video to be interesting, type comments and leave them underneath my video as it will generate an interesting dialogue and I can like the best comments about what a pleasant and informative man I am. I am casually expressing my gratitude on the basis of a presumption that you have observed the entirety of this video. Please poke the bell button in order to boost my statistics of popularity and maybe purchase one of my expensive hoodies of a balloon being cut - great message, doesn't work on a hoodie, bit overpriced.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2020, 08:58:22 PM »
Grande, you say …



Arianna?

...

To be honest I don't think Harry went anywhere near her.

DangledTeeth

  • I'm the avatar's husband.
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #2 on: March 08, 2020, 11:06:37 PM »


Hello, it's Dr Grande. I am sitting directly in front of my camera because I am recording a YouTube video. I kind of look like a manager of a stationery store circa 1993.

I've been ahsked this question several times: Jeffrey Dahmer - was he a psychopathic naughty? Fuck. Yes. I mean, the guy mrrdrrrd people. He was more nuttier than a tub of Planters at a testicular cancer examination held inside a warehouse. I hope you found this video to be interesting. Give me nice compliments to like. Ask me a somewhat long-winded question and I'll just like your comment rahther than reply to it. How about a t-shirt with 'SCIENCE'emblazoned on it? It's quite cool. I'm sure your wallet would agree. And people will know you advocate SCIENCE, said your wallet.
« Last Edit: March 08, 2020, 11:40:46 PM by DangledTeeth »

Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #3 on: March 08, 2020, 11:42:19 PM »
Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure,
They're the balls that I like best.
And my balls are always bouncing,
To the left and to the right.
It's my belief that my big balls should be held every night.
I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls,
And she's got big balls,
But we've got the biggest balls of them all!

DangledTeeth

  • I'm the avatar's husband.
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #4 on: April 05, 2020, 09:19:34 PM »


One book. Two book. Three book. STACK.



Hello, I am Todd Grande, a mental health counsellor. I am Doctor Grande. I'm on YouTube.

Today's video is a video focused awn the conspiracy theoretician David Icke. Now, unfortunately, David Icke is a real person despite what I previously said, so I am naht diagnosing him, only speculating awn his cluster D anti-social paranoia that's co-morbid with immaturity factor 12 disorder.

So, we look at David Icke awn a YouToob cheannel called London Real. The video is forty-five minutes & thirty-seven seconds too long. He's interviewed about his views on the coronavirus, right. His face looks distinctly pink on my phone, but doesn't on my mahnitor. Well, the latter is a Vista from eleven years ago (as opposed to a Vista phone, ah-hegh). He speaks about a magnetic soup of some kind. I'm not certain if it's a metaphor or if he actually means it - I don't know with him. He thinks that the econahmical factor is going to be more damaging than the health aspect. Well, for once, I agree with him. I mean, even conspiracy fruits can have a sensible opinion, right. But when he's ahsked about Italy and I-ran, he seems quite vague and evasive and mumbles about them having a stronger strain and doesn't share any data.

He also believes he and his son had symptoms of the coronovirus but turned out fine. He thinks it could either be the coronavirus or another illness with similar symptoms. Or maybe he just had a cold - a cold given to him by a lizard, uh-hegh.

Now, David Icke speaks about the 1% cult; they are rich people who control the world, right. But if we do the maath we'll see that 1% is naht a laht. Unless 1% of lizards is different in Archon terms, at least to David Icke. Heh-hegh.

When speaking about his conspiratorial beef oxtail in ''radiation toxiceehtehy'', he manipulates his audience through emotional rhetoric about the government not giving much thought towards the oldies. I'll admit to bursting out lahfing when he dramatically whispered ''It doesn't give a sshhhit!''. The way he says that in his gentle English accent with the combination of ham face and those somewhat protruding eyes.

If there was a high-ranking politician who steps up to a podium, standing several centimetres away from the mic, and states: ''Hey guys, I'm the mayor of Lizardton. Mind you, not just the mayor of Lizardton. I'm the King of my planet, hoe. I've been manipulating the homomo erectuses for too long now, and I'm emphatically and unreservedly sorry for the untold damage I have inflicted upon the denizens of your spherical playground. My lizard parents, Wilbur and Salmonella, hit me with a slipper when I was naughty. The lizards stoodents dissed my lizard tits off at Archon Academy. My self-esteem was fucked. Wielding power over you homomo erectuses was my way of expressing my complete dismay at my sorry upbringing. I'm going to pack my ass and shit off in my rocket-powered tin can. Farewell, Earthlings.'' I doubt that David Icke would accept such a sensational piece of evidence, although he'd gladly accept an award for predicting it happened.

My point is, run-of-the-mill conspiracy theorists are ridiculous; their future birthday celebrations should be cancelled. Sure, no one ought to completely trust the government, and we could all look into who affects what in the world of pahlitics and ecahnahmy, but holding a general and outlandish theory based on rich people's restrictive influence and their tenuous associations with technahlahgy and pharmaceutical giants, that 5G is a microwave of death etc. is... fuckwitted, quite hawnestly.
 
I hear David Icke say the coronavirus is less serious than zits; it was developed in a lab by Capcom; your mom reeks of poop. Then I thought to myself that he is developing a very ignorant discourse, idiotic cunt keeps 'educating'. Dee Ay Vee Ai Dee, Ai Cee Kay Ee, right. DAVID ICKE. Get it? You IC! Wait-wait-wait, I've got a another one, ahem... Dismal Arsehole Vocally Instills Doom, Illuminati Covertly Kills Everyone. Uh-hah. What are the chances of that?! Could it be a coincidence? Who knows. Suave and knowingly raised eyebrow.

People will leave comments whenever I upload a video, so please do that as it creates an interesting dialogue and it's what people do on YouToob. I hope you found my analysis of David Icke's interview to be interesting. Thanks for laughing at the imminent Icke-supporting comments below.
« Last Edit: April 06, 2020, 12:23:09 AM by DangledTeeth »

DangledTeeth

  • I'm the avatar's husband.
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #5 on: April 30, 2020, 03:39:08 PM »


Here's my intro: a book with 'Scientifically-informed' on the front cover, followed by another book with 'Insider Look' and another with 'Mental Health Topics' emblazoned awn it. And after they zoom off into the white blankness and form a stack, my name with a minimalist metallic effect smoothly appears. Increase my ratings if you enjoyed the content in this imminent video.



Hello-this-is-Dr-Grande. Today's question asks: what are incels and pick-up artists? Before I go further into this tahpic, I want to point out that incels and pick-up artists are real people, so I'm not diagnosing anyone, only speculating awn what the hell these fucktards' characteristics are and what is the purpose of their philahsahphy.

The definitions for incel are rahther rigid and obscure; they also haven't come up with a manifesto which, of course, outlines who they are as a movement and what their long-term goals are. Well, deep down, sliding their prick into some fanny is what their long-term goal is. And to my British viewers, yes that does mean 'ass'.

The term is a portmanteau of 'involuntary celibate'. There are two types of incels. The first type of incel is, essentially, the husband who doesn't get bouncy-bouncy from his wife ahfter years or being married, right. And the other tends to be the young virgin. The latter type of incel can be quite dangerous; they staunchly believe they have the basic right to get their cock stimulated by the opposite sex, so we see grandiose narcissism here. A minority of incels commit heinous crimes in their goal to garner pity and understanding of their plight, and this behaviour aligns with factor 8656 psychopathy. Now, to make a diagnosis for psychopathy that's co-morbid with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, there needs to be six out of nine factors to meet the criteria. The criteria are: antie-social behaviour, not very nice to people, stabby and shooty (this overlaps with the previous criterion), self-important, has no empathy, grandiose behaviour, manipulative, completely fucking mental, and being a disgustingly irredeemable cunt. Somehow, the more forthright incels score ten out of nine for psychopathy. The future DSM-6 will doubtless have to replace NPD with 'incel'.

Incels are known to pull inverted Duchenne smiles of disgust when they hear the emission of a squeaky mattress and orgasmic groans. They feel their cheeks burn into cinders whenever they watch a soap opera or movie and see the two actors engaging in lip-o-war, each squelchy contact of the lips assaults their ears thus bolstering their romantic loneliness.

They tend to resent the pretty yet vacuous and well-endowed women they call 'Stacey', and the incels are clinically envious of sexually virile people they loathe, namely 'Chads'. A 'Chad' is the stereotypical 'jock' character with a stocky frame, tidy haircut, baseball jacket, college football shirt and designer jeans... oh, and sneakers, too. These type of dudes usually bang the sexy cheerleaders you see in 90s and 00s comedies set in a high school, whom the Incels would to love to give the D (the cheerleaders, not the high school). I mean, the Stacies get about as much D's from incels as a grade-A stoodent does after passing exams *briefly chuckles*. A retired plumber lays the pipe more than an incel does *tries not to smirk*.

Now, the pick-up artists are so-called experts in attraction and seduction. They oftentimes use underhanded techniques and encourage people to become highly assertive, passive-aggressive cockjockeys. None of their 'useful' approaches have been documented in scientific literature whatso-motherfucking-ever. The pick-up artists methodology does not demonstrate how to build a loving and meaningful relationship, only how to surprise and charm female pedestrians travelling awn the sidewalk.

The pick-up artists actually 'help' out the incels. You prahbably find that unbelievable, right, because their cahnfidence with women would surely be the envy of the neckbeard. But the pick-up artists exploit their sexually-stunted customers by providing a service to the salivating incels, who pay top dollar for the pick-up artists' courses on how to potentially get mace in incels' eyes or wrongly get women to confront the incel for sexual harassment once the woman screams with astonishment over an ungainly nerd's advances.

The goal of the incel is difficult to discern. I mean, if they think that aggression and disdain will make women gravitate towards them or that social and dating norms will be updated to suit their overbearing needs, then they would have more luck in trying to part the ocean. And this reminds me of the five-factor mahdel, which I remember through the acronym O.C.E.A.N. Openness to experience, Conscientiousness, Extroversion, Agreeableness and Neuroticism.

Are incels open to experience? Well, their score is quite low on this one. I mean, they are open to the experience of a woman opening her snatch up to their stubs, I guess. But their desired experience rarely becomes a reality. They are conscientious of themselves and where they are on the societal ladder. As for other people? Not really. I'd say that's mid-range. Extroversion? Well, they are quite loud, so to speak, via a keyboard when they voice their misogynistic views and the lack of chicks, but in an 'offline' and real-life way? No. They're very low in that specific area. Agreeableness? I'd say yes. They are very high in agreeableness if a pick-up artist agreed to coach them for 20 dollars an hour - the incel would reach into his wallet and convert his dollars into an entire day. If an attractive pornstar sauntered into the room and offered a handjob involving lubricant, then I'm sure they would agree. High in neuroticism? I'd think so. I mean, they regularly weep over red-carpet photos of sexy Hollywood actresses holding hands with their husband. I'm also reminded of another Ocean, the computer game company, who have some intriguing parallels with incels and pick-up artists. They gained some prahminence and attracted gaming nerds to their products but ending up fading into obscurity and are both known by a select group of people.

When I considered my preconception of incels or - rahther - what the term means before I started my research for this video, I was reminded of conspiracy theorists and then I thought: Icke Never Ceases Educating Losers. I-N-C-E-L. Startling, don't you think?

And now it's time to conclude the video in Grande style: whenever I speak about incels and pick-up artists (which isn't a regular tahpic) there will be a variety of opinions; some of you will disagree with me and some of you will agree, largely the latter (unless fans of someone I'm critiquing dislike me for not telling the subject's life story). So please endeavour to include your thoughts, opinions and subjective viewpoints into the cahmments section underneath my face, they always generate an interesting dialogue. As always, I hope you found my insight into incels and pick-up artists to be interesting. Thanks for watching.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2020, 05:31:32 PM by DangledTeeth »

QDRPHNC

  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • "A soupçon of pizzazz."
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #6 on: April 30, 2020, 07:59:28 PM »
Love the Grande.

DangledTeeth

  • I'm the avatar's husband.
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #7 on: May 01, 2020, 05:39:41 PM »
Thank you! You are so kind!

--------

Welcome to my role-play video that's an insider look into mental health counselling. If you find this video to be interesting, please like it and subscribe to my channel.

Hello, this is Dr Grande. You have stumbled upawn my vintage videos before my rise in popularity. Well, that's assooming I become rahther pahpular in five years' time, of course. Today's role-play scenahrio looks at what counsellors should naht say or do when they are talking with a client. Shelby Greentaner is a real person despite what you may think about her silly name, so I'm naht diagnosing her, only uncovering and noting her account of her experiences as part of the role-playing. In this video, Shelby will be playing the role of a client who shows depressive symptoms and a lack of motivation, and I'll demonstrate terrible counselling so that undergraduates watching this video can benefit from learning that an atrocious display of poor interpersonal communication and lack of empathy is unacceptable.



Dr Grande: Yeah... so... what do you want from me? That chair ain't free.

Shelby: Lately, I've been feeling demotivated and sometimes feel kind of sad but in an idle way, if that makes sense.

Dr Grande: Have you considered cheering up? I mean, no one likes a miserable Molly, right.

Shelby: Well, it can be difficult to be upbeat when you don't feel that way.

Dr Grande: That's because you're melancholic, dear.

Shelby: I suppose. But I'm trying to surmount these episodic feelings of inadequacy.

Dr Grande: Well, perhaps if you stopped feeling sorry for yourself and adopted a fucking rictus once in a while on that unsightly continent you call a face, you'd feel more confident and happy within yourself.

Shelby: I don't think smiling will do much good when I don't feel like doing it.

Dr Grande: That's the problem.

Shelby: What is?

Dr Grande: You don't think. Naht thinking is what idiots do or don't do, depending on which way you look at it. What vacuity is to an idiot is what beer is to an alcoholic. So far, it's like you chugged an entire keg from the stupidity brewery.

Shelby: B-

Dr Grande: Have you tried any specific methods to combat your moodiness?

Shelby: I find that a solid routine and focusing on my hobbies helps to give me a sense of purpose.

Dr Grande nods and bows his head contemplatively before emitting a deflated sigh with his palms pressed on his knees

Dr Grande: Yeah, see, I think you ought to seriously consider other alternatives as a way to keep the blues at bay.

Shelby: Like what for example?

Dr Grande: Have you ever tried death?

Shelby: Noooo! Of course naht.

Dr Grande: How silly of me. If you had, you wouldn't be seated here.

Shelby: Are there any drugs which can be prescribed?

Dr Grande: I'm not a psychiatrist. I don't like those bahstard cunts. Now, it's not because they can earn around 30k-plus more than the average clinician just because they went to ''mEd ScHoOooOOLlLlL'' and are licensed to dish out the spunk of big pharma. No. Completely unrelated. It's because a laht of them provide a mediocre counselling service. This is what gets me, right, okay, they do precisely what I do yet they get a bigger salary just for thrusting boxes of crapzipam at the client, or some horseshit - not literally. Honestly, those overrated junkies - yeah, you heard me! - make a killing for doing jack shit. Speaking of killing, reverting to what we were saying earlier...

Shelby: Yeah?

Dr Grande: Have you ever considered going to a train station and...

Shelby: Take a journey to a peaceful location? Yeah! Then I could feel gratified by the am-bi-arnce and feel inspired to improve myself.

Dr Grande: No. Throw yourself in front of a choo-choo. Obviously an express service. No good lying in front of a stationary diesel.

Shelby: That's a horrible suggestion! And the driver would be traumatised.

Dr Grande: Well, if the trauma is that debilitating, he can always dump himself out of his 12:25 to Arkansas.

Shelby: Do you have any other suggestions?

Dr Grande: Yes. A rope and a chair or a stool.

Shelby: Not again! Killing yourself is a very bad idea.

Dr Grande: Holy shitmuffins! Why didn't I think of that?!

Shelby: What were you originally thinking of?

Dr Grande: You could've become a lion tamer.

Shelby: Oh, so I'd get the chance to see a happy circus for free?

Dr Grande: No. You'd get your head bitten off by a lion for being an amateur.

Shelby: I don't think you're taking t-

Dr Grande: Did you direct that at me or the plahnt?

Shelby: No.

Dr Grande: Don't admire that silent son of a bitch. *Stares at plant* What the shitdamn Heston are you looking at, dinky nuts? Those photosynthetic arms aren't gonna do anything for you. You people make me wanna puke!

Shelby: There is one thing that helps me to relax and...

Dr Grande: Great. That's all for today's meeting. Next time you drag your sorry ass back to my palace, try to exude a bit of happiness, okay. None of this down-in-the-dumps shit. Stop being so selfish and think about the emotions of your mental health clinician. Haven't you considered that the blues can also affect me? I call it 'folie à bleue', minus the element of shared psychotic disorder.

Dr Grande looks at the camera
 
Dr Grande: It's incredibly uncaring and unusual, right? Nobody would be so overbearing, nor would a true clinician make dangerous suggestions to alleviate the clients' symptoms. This certainly isn't how one provides therapy and insight in a professional and clinical environment. The clients value you as their therapist or counsellor. Always aim to be sensitive, listen to what your client tells you, make notes of their emotions and activities, and hopefully, your client will leave with a more positive attitude and a goal in mind until the next meeting. Whenever I do role-play videos there will be a variety of opinions, mainly from people agreeing with me, apart from the zealous David Icke fans. Please put your thoughts and opinions in the thing where you hammer out words and then transmit them below this video; they always generate an interesting dialogue. As ever, I hope you found this role-play video to be interesting. Thanks for watching.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2020, 08:54:13 PM by DangledTeeth »

DangledTeeth

  • I'm the avatar's husband.
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #8 on: May 02, 2020, 01:00:20 AM »
Intro Music



Dr Grande: Hi, this is Dr Grande of 2017. Ring-a-ding-ding you purdy thing! You're looking mighty fine today, if you don't mind my saying. Do you like a session involving role-play, baby? 'cause I sure do. Mhrmm! Pour yourself a scotch, add a couple of ice cubes and let's begin. As always, as always. Thanks for watching.



Dr Grande: Hello Kurt.

Actor: Huh?!

Dr Grande: You're Kurt Cobain.

Actor: No I'm naht.

Dr Grande: Don't lie to me, Kurt.

Actor: Yeah whatever, go the fuck away.

Dr Grande: Hey! That's rahther rude and sudden of you.

Actor: I'm sorry. I was being curt.

Dr Grande: I know you were. Ahfter all, you're Kurt Cobain.

Actor: Look, just because you say I'm Kurt Cobain doesn't mean I am him. He's dead anyway.

Dr Grande: How can he be dead when you're alive in front of my eyes?!

Actor: I. Am. Naht. Kurt. Cobain. Okaaaaay!?!?

Dr Grande: ...sorry, Kurt.

Actor: Fucking siggggggh!

Dr Grande: What the hell is that blue thing in between your legs?

Actor: I'm not sure.

Dr Grande: If you can't identify the object, then how can you say you're naht Kurt Cobain?

Actor: It's easy - I'm naht Kurt Cobain.

Dr Grande: I know you're Kurt, but who am I?

Actor: You're Doctor Grande, and I am naht Kurt Cobain. My name is Anna Actor.

Dr Grande: If I were any other kind of doctor, I would say it's curtains for you. Ah-hah-hah.

Actor: Never mind.

Dr Grande: Was that naht one of your band's hit albums?

Actor: I'm not in a band. Stop asking these stoopid questions.

Dr Grande: Oh, you've got some nerve, Anna. Ah-hah-hah.

Dr Grande turns to the camera

Dr Grande: This role-play exercise has demonstrated a combination of the characteristics unique to Acute Identity Denial Syndrome and Persistent Asshole Disorder. Note the heated insistence of both the characters we played, who were adamant and vocal in each of their beliefs. Now, AIDS is when the sufferer contradicts observations based awn their outward appearance, reflected stimuli elicits no reaction from the individual as their cognitive capacity for recognising their own countenance is exiguous. PAD, which is awften co-morbid with Immaturity Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder, causes the sufferer to constantly ahsk similar questions and refuse to accept objective ahnswers.

A man's legs appear to the right of the lens

Store Security Guard: Okay guys, time to leave. This is a furniture store showroom, not a park.

Dr Grande: Sorry, sir. My office is being refurbished.
« Last Edit: May 02, 2020, 01:39:42 AM by DangledTeeth »

DangledTeeth

  • I'm the avatar's husband.
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #9 on: May 02, 2020, 04:24:00 PM »
Hello, this is Dr Grande. As you can tell, this isn't anything to do with mental health. This is a step-by-step tutorial of, erm, ANOVA in SPSS or snake hiss, I don't know. I have to admit that I haven't any idea of what I'm about to do, right. But who knows, maybe this'll provide some assistance to those less clueless than I am awn this matter.



So we see in the first example there is a horizahntal strip with a variety of opinions, sorry, options. They are as follows: File, Edit, View, Dahta, Transform, Analyze, Grahphs, Utilities, Add-awns, Window and Help. I know what File, Edit and View all do, but I don't knowing any-fucking-thing about the others.

Now, underneath the aforementioned strip, we see a sequence of icahns. The first (from left going to right, right) is a kind of golden nugget. The second looks like a little house set against a very blue sky, with a strange and blocky alien ship hovering over it (egh-hah! It's prahbahbly David Icke's house being visited by the Lizard People). Next, we see erm... a cyclahps robaht's head somehow drooling. Ahfter that, there's a shrub diagonally to the right of a house's window. The next in line is a grahssy bridge followed by a blandy concrete bridge but facing in the ahpposite direction. We see another bridge leading to a crimson puddle that's awn one of many concrete tiles. The next one we see a gigantic fire hydrant awn tahp of a department storhre. The next icahn appears to be an upright Slinky toy alawngside a flag. Then we see a termite exiting a cookie jar. Erm... then we see the Petronas Towers. And a slab or cahncrete is adjacent to the one I mention several seconds ago. Erm... a tropical bird in profile and it's doing a shit. Lanes of a swimming pool. And two empty bags which should hold goldfish but do naht, hanging on a crooked hat peg. A top-down view of a gold bar on a kitchen floor. Annnnd a trio of bizarre shapes with an approved 'ABC'.

Below everything I've spoken about, there are a multitood of vertical cahlumns - there twelve of them. The first one is numbered down to thirty-two. Above each cahlumn from the second to the final and twelth cahlumn are the terms Name, Type, Width, Decimals, Label, Values, Missing, Columns, Align, Measure and Role. Again, I don't know what I'm doing, only speculating awn what this program can do.

I guess you can type whatever comes to mind and you type some more things which could be useful and... you can click awn 'David Icke's house being visited by the lizard spaceship' in order to save your prargress, right. I believe that concludes the tutorial for this program.



Now, with Excel, it's naht as straightforward in comparison with the cahlumns I spoke about, right. This is somewhat more convoluted. We see a graph with three lines going acrahss. I don't know what the fuck they represent. What's this? 'Substance use, Depression & Trauma'. Huh, I guess this is about psychahlahgy ahfter all.

I just want to point out that Excel is naht a real person, and I am naht diagnosing a computer program, only speculating awn the characteristics of its functions. Now, the icahnahgrahpy I mentioned earlier seems inconsistent and doesn't make any sense, it's appears to be akin to word salad, which aligns with schizophrenia and psychosis. We see a highly organised presentation of dahta, which matches the behavioural pattern of Obsessive Compulsive Disorderhr. And the dahta appears self-important but tentative, so that criterion matches with vulnerable narcissism in the cluster B category.

Whenever I speak about office-based computer programs there will be a variety of opinions. Please put any thoughts or opinions you have in the cahmments section, they always generate an interesting dialogue. As always, I hope you found my tutorial of ANOVA and Excel to be underwhelming and confusing. Good luck trying to figure this shit out.
« Last Edit: May 02, 2020, 08:22:02 PM by DangledTeeth »

DangledTeeth

  • I'm the avatar's husband.
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #10 on: May 03, 2020, 02:13:13 PM »


Hi, this is retro Dr Grande awv two thousand fifteen (well, it will be retro in at least five years' time). Today's role-play video will be focused awn a client who has Voracious Appetite Syndrome, which is co-morbid with Overweight Motherfucker Disorderrrr. As always, thanks for watching.




Dr Grande: Hi George, how are you doing today?

George: I'm okay.

Dr Grande: Good. I'd like to give you a test in awderrrrr to determine if your behaviour aligns with the symptoms awv VAS and OMD. Is that okay with you?

George: Yeah.

Dr Grande: Super. First question - when was the lahst time you weighed yourself?

George: Uhm... last Thursday, I think.

Dr Grande: Alright, and did the scales break?

George: Yes.

Dr Grande: Okay. Secondly, when you stop at a fahst food restaurant, for example McDahnawlds or Burgerhr King, do you go for two large Big Mac meals or do you buy two Big King XLs and a caramal sundae?

George: Uhm, yeah.

Dr Grande: All of them?

George: Not at once, sometimes I have them on the same day for lunch and dinner.

Dr Grande: Alright. Do you buy your shirts and pants from a specialist store or mail awderrrr catalahgue? *Looks at lens* To my British subscribers and viewers, 'pants' means jeans or trousers, naht undergarments.

George: I usually have them mailed to me, yeah.

Dr Grande: Okay. I suppose that's because exercising is a big deal for you?

George: No, it's because there are no specialist stores in my area.

Dr Grande: Okay, not too many tubbies and very tall people in your location.

George: Something like that, yes.

Dr Grande: Are you thinking of food right now?

George: No.

Dr Grande: Okay... how about now?

George: Well, yeah, because you put the thought into my head.

Dr Grande: Seems reasonable. Do I like look deliciously edible to you?

George: No.

Dr Grande: You're naht considering eating me, are you?

George: Certainly naht.

Dr Grande: Great. I ahsked you a question about your consumption and it seemed to be carnivorous, but just to clarify, right, are you a vegetarian or vegan?

George: Neither.

Dr Grande: Okay, I was only wondering because it appears you have your sights set on that plahnt on the table.

George: No, no. I'm not hungry.

Dr Grande: Okay, good. That concludes the assessment.

A pair of legs appears into view

Gallery Watchman: Hey buddy, you're blocking visitors' views of the artwork.

Dr Grande: Yeah, I'm sorry. My ahffice has been completely repainted, but I'm waiting for the new furniture to arrive in the next two days.

Gallery Watchman: Glad to hear it. Don't leave those chairs behind.

Dr Grande: Yeah, certainly. Once again, I'm sorry. Uhm... could you give me a hand?

Gallery Watchman: Sure.

Dr Grande: Could you please pull George's chair from the rear? I think he'll have trouble getting out of it.
« Last Edit: May 03, 2020, 02:54:37 PM by DangledTeeth »

DangledTeeth

  • I'm the avatar's husband.
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #11 on: May 05, 2020, 05:52:52 PM »


Yep, the title animation has graced your screens again. The past role-play videos have taken a backseat today.



Hello, this is Dr Grande. Today's question is: is Simon Cowell's ahbvious facial surgery the product of narcissism? And what are the long-term psycholahgical effects of plastic surhrgery and botarx. So just a reminder: Simon Cowell is a real person, so I'm not diagnosing him, only speculating awn what could be occurring in his mind in awderhr to have made these decisions to update his countenance.

Simon Cowell was born on October seven in 1959, in Lambeth, London. He was raised in Hurtfordshyyar and received a great education. According to Simon's hahf-brother Tony, Simon had a string of menial jobs, including a runner role for Stanley Kubrick's 'The Shining'. Maybe he got the look from Jack's frozen face? Uh-hmf! Simon did naht get on well with people awn the set. His record executive father - who was an employee at EMI - nepotised Simon to a mail sorting room, but didn't like the jarb because none of the envelopes had any star qualities you'd expect to find with a world-renowned singer who can sing in a six octaves register with falsetto or something like that.

In the early 1980s, Simon formed E&S Music with his former boss at EMI. He had fluctuations of success during the 1980s; the biggest hit of his was Sinitta's Go Macho, which was released in July 1985. It wasn't until around the mid 90s when he clawed his way up the mountain of success by producing novelty sawngs. The most notable was a record for the children's television show called Zig and Zag. He's made records for the Power Rangers and WWF, which is now known as the WWE. His biggest success of that era was two actors, Rarbson Green and Jerome Flynn, and their cover of Unchained Melody. I seem to remember Simon also did some stoopid shit in a dog costume in the early eighties. Or maybe I'm thinking of one of those eccentric lunatics that get their asses buzzed off as soon as they open their mouth.

Simon later signed several hit acts such as Five, Westlife and... The Teletubbies. In 2001, Simon's television breakthrough as a talent judge occurred awn a singing talent show called Pahp Idol which ran until two thousand three. The public were instantly divided by Simon's intahlerance towards mediocre singers and some saw him as a beacon for scathing honesty while others thought he excoriated people's auditions for the sake of it. Well, personally, I think his criticisms are fairly reasonable, it's just that he seems like he's the 'Mr Nasty' that he's reportedly meant to be, solely because his criticisms are a glaring contrahst to the other judges who find nice things to say about thoroughly untalented motherfuckers.

As the years went by, Simon expanded his talent show empire across the sea to North America and most of the world. And in two thousand four, we saw the first ever X-Factor, which is still very pahpular to this day. And his latest incarnation based awn the same format (except with categories other than singing) is the worldwide Got Talent series - the debut being BGT.

Now, because Simon has had a snug upbringing, great education, a father who was an influential figure at a record company, and later gained mainstream television success, we can see that he's enormously successful and most of the public deem him as a national treasure of the musical arts. So, it's understandable that one would be a little narcissistic with his accolade and wealth. It could be said that his looks deteriorated as part of the ageing prahcess, so he perhaps has personal issues in trying to accept his wrinkling and sagging face, right, and that's when the element of surgery comes into this.

Another interesting thing that I found interesting is Simon's father died two years before he, Simon, launched Pahp Idol and this upset him quite a laht, so there's perhaps repressed grief that's manifested itself into vanity coupled with narcissistic traits. It's also intriguing that Simon named his son 'Eric' after his father. And since the birth of his son, it appears the surgery either started then or became more noticeable.

What are the psycholahgical effects of frequent surgery? Well, it can lead to a factor - not X-Factor - of body dysmorphia, right. That's when people are convinced their appearance is radically different to how they actually look. With plastic surgery and botarx injections it can turn into a narcissistic addiction. There's no end to the subjectivity of beauty. Celebrities and people concerned about their attractiveness tend to overdo the surgery until they look like Mike Tyson has attempted to right hook a bee sting awff of their face, right. It begins to look repulsive and outrageously silly.

I've also wondered how Simon would appear in his seventies or eighties because his face will need to be lifted again, therefore it can only go in one direction *brief smirk*. During this coronavirus pandemic and in between my research for my regularly uploaded videos, I have had the time to generate a predictive image of future Cowell in ten years' and twenty-five years' time.



Whenever I speak about an overrated celebrity there will be a variety of opinions. Please put any thoughts and opinions and comments and subjective viewpoints in the comment section, they always generate an interesting dialogue. As always, I hope you found my description, analysis and imagery to be interesting and hilarious. Thanks for watching.


« Last Edit: May 05, 2020, 06:15:41 PM by DangledTeeth »

DangledTeeth

  • I'm the avatar's husband.
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #12 on: May 07, 2020, 09:28:23 PM »


Hello, this is Dr Grande. Green board behind me. Yep, this is yet another role-play video. In this video, the actor and I shall demonstrate how to listen to the client and how the counsellor ought to comprehend the psycholahgical ailment of the client. Today's mental errors are Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. This one is relatively cahmmon and is colloquially (and wrongly) used by people who double-check their front door is lahcked. The criteria for meeting a diagnosis are: pre-occuppied by innocuous thoughts that worry the affected; ritualistic behaviour, i.e. hand-washing, counting to perfection, organising and carefully arranging ahbjects, and excessive cleanliness of furniture and surfaces.

The second disawderhr we'll observe is Racial Stereotype Syndrome. This is a somewhat rare condition and it usually affects African-American males who are low in econahmical stahtus and live in an oppressed neighbourhood. It also affects other races as well, primarily Caucasian men and women. To be diagnosed for RSS, the client needs to meet one of the following criteria: they have to have the demeanour, fashion sense and/or use the vernacular associated with people like Souljah Boy, OJ the Juiceman, Gucci Mane, Riff Raff, Iggy Azalea, Lil Debbie and Qveen Herby (i.e. the woman of the Karmin couple) - the latter is debatable as not much research has been performed for that criterion. I'd also like to thank my two graduate assistants, Andrew and Nell, for their diligence and hard work. As always, enjoy the educational video...

















Dr Grande: Good day to you, Lamont.

Lamont: You know how I do, Dr Grande. What's hapnin, god?

Dr Grande: I'm fine, thanks for ahsking. So, tell me about your progress with your OCD.

Lamont: Aight man, I'ma keep it one hunnid witchu. Ice on muh wrist, glacier on muh neck, Antarctic in the watch, looking dental when I floss. So, I be out herre doing my thang, y'know. Rollin' thru Garvey Heights an' sheit. And I'm wit my boy, we finna get ourselves some Chick a'Fils, you gnome sailing. Some-uh that reaaaal guuhd kingsize meal with the big mothaffvvucka. Mhm-mhm-MMM! *upright forearms, lightly clicks fingers, lips curled inwards, bobs in his seat* I gots to have mah purple drank widdat, son.

Dr Grande pouts and nods at a slant

Lamont: We good an jus' chilling in the fas' food joint, y'know, eating our chicken burger and fries an' shit. Then the homie Versace Dreads calls me. You know Dreads? Dude from 10 block.
'
Dr Grande: Yes, I'm familiar with him. You once told me he's ''That nappy-headed bitch who used to slang sherm sticks to my uncle''.

Lamont: F'real. He calls me up and says the pookies are wildin', mayn. Straight tripping out in the street. Crazy altercations going on. Shit started when, uhm, one of the dudes was reversing they ride and injured the pookie's Rottweiler, and that's when shit got heated. So, two pookies squared off and fists was flying then - Jean Claude Van Bahyum! - he cold lamped the fool on his ass!

Dr Grande: Did this trigger your OCD?

Lamont: Say whaaaht? Of course, Dr G. You know me, homie. The whole situation be gotting me anxious, mayn. I had to count erry mothafucker present wi'out blinking before I felt  comfortable to roll on, y'dig? I'm under this mad-ass pressure to not fuckin' blink while the pookies was going cray, weaving in and out like bitches, mayn. Hard to keep up wit' them hoes when they all blurry from throwing hands.

Dr Grande: I feel you, bruh.

Lamont: I kept my maind off the sheit for a while as I approached my hood.

Dr Grande: What technique did you apply?

Lamont: Well, I was thinking of that snow bunny out in the burbs, mayn. I think her name's Madison. Ooh-wee she a PAWG, f'real.

Dr Grande: Did you face any distractions?

Lamont: Shit yeah, Dr G. Me and Dreads was near my crib, and I saw these dudes all hanging near the old tenements and saw my homegirl across the sidewalk. I'm like, 'Ay, Sus'! SOOZAY! what's them chickenheads be doing by the trap house?!' They was fuckin' cookin' up the bakin' soda, peoples on they bbbburners, chicken noodle soup wit a soda on the side, yuhknuhsayn. I'm like, shit, dawg, how many of these bum-ass bitches be fucking up the hood like dat. They gots no respect.

Dr Grande: So, it seems these unfortunate situations manifest the OCD component and in some cases they distract it?

Lamont: Yeah, sho' nuff. Ain't that sumf. Hmff, shit gets annoying sometimes, but I get by wit each step, mayn.

Dr Grande: Since our last session, have you thought about the derivation of these instances where you precisely count what you see?

Lamont sits forward and clasps his hands

Lamont: Weall, my grandma passed away lahst year. She's always helped me and my moms. Grandma always said to me, 'Lamont, if some bitch-ass trick be politicking in yo' lane, you don't front and stunt on a hoe'.

Dr Grande: Oh, interesting dialect. What does that mean?

Lamont: Basically, Dr G, it means if an unfamiliar individual conducts themselves without decorum, it would be advisable to apply a modicum of poise and refinement as a means of surmounting any conflicting sensations you have about their presence and outward behaviour, for any invitations of potential
violence could lead to horrific ramifications if one has the temerity to challenge their intentions.

Dr Grande: Ah, right.

Lamont: As I was saying, my grandma was very organised. She helped my moms clean and do the laundry, kept the food storage in check and went to chaurch. I guess ever since Gaahd took her under his waing, it's like I'm trying tuh fill the void brought aon by grief by being real attentive of thangs like she did, you know.

Dr Grande: That's intriguing. In time, you'll completely accept your loss and the OCD could vanish.

Lamont: I suppose you're right, Dr G. Right neow, it's still here, doe.

Dr Grande: It's a great point, yes. Well, if you draw inspiration from your grandmother's efficiency, you can utilise that to defy these urges to count objects and people. She'd be very proud of you.

Lamont: Ay, you know whurt, that's some hella dope advice. Thank you, Dr Grande.

Dr Grande: You're most welcome. Okay, that concludes today's meeting. Make notes of your progress in your diary and focus awn something productive in order to distract yourself from being preoccupied with these obsessive rituals.

Lamont: Cool, thank you, Dr G. I appreciate what you brain nurse crackas be doing out here. I'm out.

Dr Grande turns to the camera

Dr Grande: And this concludes the role-play. You see, racial stereotypes do not help represent people of colour in a pahsitive light and it also exacerbates cultural appropriation thereby undermining the struggles of the denizens in a mul-tie-racial nation. Now, I know whenever I do a role-play vignette there will be playa haters and those who'd roll with a gangsta, please put your thoughts and opinions in the comments section, they always generate an interesting dialogue. As always, thanks for watching. And hey, bring it on, motherfucker! Bring it on!

A pair of legs appears in the foreground and beside Dr Grande

Gallery Watchman: Excuse me, sir.

Dr Grande: Yes?

Gallery Watchman: I've been told that you were here the other day. You're obstructing the view of this painting for the gallery visitors. Would you mind wrapping up here and moving elsewhere, please.

Dr Grande: Sure.

Actor: No problem. We had just finished. We'll be on a way.

Dr Grande: I would shoot the video in my ahffice but I'm still waiting for new furniture.

Dr Grande and Actor walk away with the camera still recording

Dr Grande : I have to remember to edit embarrassing moments out!

Actor: Are you sure you didn't sit in the same chair you said the fat guy followed-through on?

DangledTeeth

  • I'm the avatar's husband.
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #13 on: May 08, 2020, 07:19:45 PM »


Dr Grande: Hi, I'm Todd Grande, associate professor and mental health counsellor. Please excuse the controversial graffiti behind me - I actually like the crude caricature of myself masturbating without shame. I've tried to rub it off - I mean the chalk, not my cawk. I don't think 'rub it off' is used as an expression for fapturbation in the States - but my blazer's cuff will be caked in more chalk dust if I persisted. Weirdly enough, it's the first time the KKK dirtied my clothing. Thanks for tooning in to my YouToob channel to watch this video. Today's roleplay is naht about a fictional client's mental health prahblem. This will provide you, the viewer, an opportoonity into how professional counsellors can spare their precious time for fellow stahff without being an unpleasantly judgmental cunt. Here, we'll see another counsellor confide in me about a workplace-related dilemma. Listening and talking is paramount but naht necessarily at the same time, right. As always, thanks for watching.



Andrew: Hi Dr Grande.

Dr Grande: Hello, Andrew. The fuck do you want?

Andrew: I've been unsure about telling you this. It's quite embarrassing.

Dr Grande: An embarrassing situation, huh?

Andrew: Yep.

Dr Grande: You haven't pissed your pants, have you? I mean, I scrubbed that fat guy's umber residue out of that chair. He said he wasn't going to eat that plahnt, but boy, was he lying. How can I help you?

Andrew: I've been working with a client called Andrea a laht and this made me stop by your ahffice and...

DR Grande: Hold on! You don't fancy me, do you?! I've nothing against *nods head sharply* that, but I'm a happily married man, you Titanic ass factory.

Andrew: Oh, no-no. Actually, I have developed romantic feelings for her.

Dr Grande: Ahhhh. It's the old counsellors-can't-bang-a--client rule that's impeding you from getting into her box?

Andrew: Yes. I was thinking of rescheduling her to see you instead. That way, my feelings for her will subside.

Dr Grande: Why, that's terribly kind and thoughtful of you, Andrew. I wouldn't mind a bit of mentally deranged poon on my poker, but as I've already said, I'm a happily married man, you Titanic ass factory.

Andrew: I heard that there's a two-year clause allowing counsellors to become romantically involved with a former client ahfter the sessions have been concluded.

Dr Grande: What?!?! You mean... you're prepared to wait two fucking years just so you can tap this on the mattress? You sound nuttier than she does. By the way, what's her afflictions?

Andrew: Paranoiac Delusions Deficit Syndrome Disorder.

Dr Grande: Oh great! So when she hopefully recovers ahfter two years you're gonna strut on over to her home and knock on the door, holding a bouquet and an invitation to Arby's? She'll relapse and think you're a CIA agent with a concealed silencer behind the roses.

Andrew: Yeah... I guess you've got a point.

Dr Grande: It's unprofessional, unethical and completely stoopid. Don't go through with it.

Andrew glumly nods

Dr Grande: Well, I'm glad we had this talk. It was good seeing you, Andrew.

Andrew: Thanks so much, Dr Grande. You're the greatest pal in world.

Dr Grande faces the camera

Dr Grande: Andrew used his intelligence to seek out advice from a trusted professional whom he also knows as a work buddy. He showed a laht of courage in revealing his prahblem to me, and I listened with a helpful ear and we ruminated on the prahblem until we came to a sensible solution. As always, I've been Dr Grande. As always, thanks for watching this role-play video.

Andrew: ROLE-PLAY?!?!

A man in a suit appears in the centre

Gallery Watchman: Not you again! Okay, that does it! This is the lahst warning I'm giving you, ahraight! And it's the lahst warning because you've now been banned for a year. Take your chairs and flowers with you.

Dr Grande: I'm really sorry. My ahffice furniture delivery has been delayed, so I cahn't film anywhere else.

Gallery Watchman: That's unfortunate, but the gallery visitors are here to scrutinise the blurry impressionistic still-life painting to your left.
« Last Edit: May 08, 2020, 07:34:34 PM by DangledTeeth »

Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #14 on: May 09, 2020, 09:53:45 AM »
...

QDRPHNC

  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • "A soupçon of pizzazz."
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #15 on: May 09, 2020, 08:06:07 PM »
I can't tell, do you like Dr. Grande or not like Dr. Grande?

DangledTeeth

  • I'm the avatar's husband.
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #16 on: May 21, 2020, 10:54:50 PM »
I like Dr Grande. I suppose the 'wanking character' gives the wrong impression. This is all just a very daft take on him.

----



Please like the presentation talkie and subscribe to my virtual palace. In Mental health tahpics. Insider look. Scientifically-informed.



Hello, this is Dr Grande. Today's question ahsks: can I analyse the personality, traits, demeanour, characteristics and outward behavyurrr ahv rapconteur Kanye West? Well, I can. It certainly is likely, and I have the facility and ability to be able to fulfill such a request. Whenever I speak about the premise ahv the video and conclude it very pithily there will be a variety ahv opinions. Please put your fucking subjective into nothing rectangle and submit-send when doned. As always, I hope you found this analysis to be interesting. Thanks for watching.

Ah-hegh, I'm just screwing with you. Kanye West is a real person, so I'm naht diagnosing the narcissistic behemoth, only speculating awn what is occurring in his genius mind. Now, who is Kanye West or even Yevid Kanresh? *In exaggerated Jordan Peterson voice* Itza goowd 'kwest'chun. Kanye Omari West - affectionately known as 'Ye' - was born June 8, 1977 in Atlanta, Georgia. He is an American rapper, singer, songwriter, record producer, entrepreneur and fashion designer. Number two inside brackets. Kanye's musical output spans a broad range ahv styles, incorporating an eclectic range of influences including hip hahp, soul, barahque pahp, electro, indie rahk, synth-pahp, industrial, and garspel. Outside ahv his music career, Ye's success in the fashion industry has led to him being recognized as one ahv the most influential pop culture figures ahv his generation. This article is a stub. Citation needed.

We see that he collaborates with hip-hahp stalwarts called Slum Village prior to releasing that hit sawng with the cute 'well-well. WELL-WELL' vocal loop around the same time as the chart-topper with the soulful chipmunk wailing and Polaroids-on-a-bulletin-board music video. Kanye also has a couple ahv hit albums ahv the 'bear mascot' era and then did an autotuney thing, 808s and heartbreaks. I thought it was okay from what I heard ahv it... once. And I think this was around the time he wore ventilation panel glasses and blocked Taylor Swift's spotlight.

Now, narcissists have a tendency to dahminate the conversation. In this case, Ye wanted to dahminate the music awards ceremony, right. He exhibited grandiose behavyurhr, was attention-seeking, and even displayed traits of factor B Asperger's syndrome, specifically a lack of awareness for the occasion and spacial awareness - Swift reportedly said his breath was repulsive beyond stench. He has all that money yet cannaht purchase a breath mint, uh-hah.

He gets into a scuffle with the paparazzi inside a car park or some shit like that. He marries the most famous Kardashian. Around two thousand fourhr. he releases his most critically-acclaimed experimental album. Well, I've twice tried to listen to it and... I-didn't-like-it. I won't got into detail, but I think another clinician ought to critique that bland pancake, right.

It's been reported that Kanye suffered from a mental breakdown. Now, we in the psychahlahgy community don't use 'mental breakdown' as a clinical term; it's more ahv a colloquial phrase the general public and outsiders ahv psychological tend to use when someone is exhausted and stressed, consequently taking a moment to prahcess their predicament.

In recent years, he's met Dahnald Trump and watched a video by Jordnpetrsn. Erm... he's dyed his hair blarnde and kinda shaved it to look like an abstract spider web or something - Kanye, not Jordnpetrsn.

I was pondering the alternative reality theoretician David Icke, and then I realised that David and Kanye each have five letters in their forename and four in their surname? Could it be a coincidence? Ahv course it fucking is. Is that where the similarities end? Yes.

Whenever I talk about musical nutjobs there will be a variety of thoughts... and opinions. Please put the aforementioned into a virtual letter and post to my grey void. As always, this is my signature conclusion. I am grateful you have seen this video.
« Last Edit: May 21, 2020, 11:09:27 PM by DangledTeeth »

Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #17 on: May 22, 2020, 05:13:47 AM »
.

DangledTeeth

  • I'm the avatar's husband.
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #18 on: May 28, 2020, 12:20:25 AM »
I'm not sure what the effect of an edit glitch looks like but thank you, Glitch King. You are so kind - DrG

---------



Welcome to my intro. Did you like the previous one in reverse? I burst out laaghing when MENTAL HEALTH TOPICS flew into the screen.



Hello, thissizDrGrande. Today's question ahsks can I analyse the personality characteristics of atrocious parents Gerry McCannotlookahftermychildproperly and his wife Kate regarding the Madeleine McCann case? That's my opinion about the parents, right. Just a reminder/disclaimer thing: I'm naht diagnosing the elusive one or her stony-faced parents, and the theories mentioned here are not factual, they are just my thoughts awn the events. I'm only speculating awn whether the tyke was abducted by a disheveled Portuguese guy or whether the biolahgical guardians of hopelessness accidentally doped her up on too much slumber water for a considerable eternity, consequently needing to bury her bardy into the Portuguese soil at a secret location - Maybe. It's only a theory. It's also important to note I'm a psychahlahgist. I'm naht a forensic scientist, nor do I worhrk forhr a law enforcement agency. I am only speculating awn what happened in a case like this.

The vanishing act occurred awn May three, two thousand seven. It's one of the most perplexing cases in anything. A Netflix special was awn the other day and it really was something, I tell ya. We see a dahcumetary of the poor missing tahddler. The shitty parents don't feature awn this. I'm going to go through a timeline, give you my expert analysis of the situation, and then my tharghts awn what happened.



April twenty-eight, two thousand seven. Gerry and Kate McCann - two physicians of Ineptitudehahm of Twatshyyar, England - arrive at Praia da Luz in Portugal, with their then-three children (of course, it's now two because Madio is missing). Madeleine McCann, three years old, just a couple of weeks away from celebrating her fourth birthday. *Shakes head* Kids usually play hide and seek for about twenty minutes, some people go beyawnd that length of time, right? Hegh. They intended awn staying at the resort-town for seven nights without allowing their child to vanish. Ahfter arriving, they stayed at the now-famous Unit Five Eisley. They spent time with a few other people also awn vacation, would you believe it!? These people have become known as the 'Tap-ass Seven' named after the group orgies they took part in, which I'll cover awn my Patreon page as it's too sensitive for YouToob.

This group of people were staying in apartments in the vicinity of Five Eisley. The Tap-ass Seven and McCanns chose to spend their nights at The Ocean Club. I remember the 'Ocean Club' through the five Eisley, sorry, five factor mahwdel with the acronym OCEAN: Openness to experience, Cahnscientiousness, Extroversion, Agreeableness and Neurahticism... or Obese Cunts Eat All Night.

They were at this club while leaving their children in their respective apartments. Siiiiiigh! This restaurant is about 160 feet away from their apartments in a straight line. Now, to walk it is about 295 feet because one has to rumba around the car park and traverse the sidewalk - doesn't help if you're drunk. This is the equivalent of a football field minus the grahss and football players. The apartment doorhrs were naht visible from the table they were sitting at. They had a system where one of them would get up every hahf hour or so and check awn the children. Sometimes they would check awn their own children and sometimes the other children.

This takes us to May three, two thousand seven, 7pm. Gerry and Kate put the twins to bed (it's not a euphemism for Kate putting her breasts into a tit hammock). At 8pm, the McCanns off-corked a sealed beverage. 8.00:46pm they each glug a glass filled handsomely with the devil's lemon juice. 8:22pm, they're suitably inebriated... and were fucked!!!! 8:32pm ten minutes have pahssed. Then at 8:35pm, they were the first to arrive at the Tap-ass restaurant. They left the patio door of their apartment unlahcked *forehead slap*. Earlier in the week, they used a key to unlahk the front doorhr to check awn the children, but they were worried this would be too locky because the mechanism emission could wake up the brats. So they switched to this method where they were ahsking for trouble.

The group comes together; they're all eating and drinking and consuming and imbibing and nibbling and sipping. They were reported as being 'somewhat obstreperous, oafish and British'. At about 9.05pm, Gerry goes to check awn his children during the cool and breezy evening. He noticed that the doorhr was previously at a 42-degree angle but was now at a wahlloping 45 degrees - the door, naht the climate. Gerry was concerned, but he didn't notice anything out of the ordinary and shut the doorhr.

Sometime around 9:15pm another memberhr of the group, Jane Tanner, goes to check awn her daughter and notices some Portuguese guy walking away, carrying a sleeping girl... in his arms. She returns to the table after seeing her daughter. Kate McCann gets ready to check awn her children, but another member of the group, Matthew Oldfield, offers to check awn them as he's checking awn his children. He sees the door is open but doesn't know how it was left. He looks in awn the children but never sees Madeleine. He really cellphoned this in. The first rule of checking awn your children is to ensure they haven't been taken by some Portuguese guy or killed. I'm sure that is naht the only rule of that exercise.

Kate McCann went to have look and found... drum roll, please. *Drums fingers on his desk* FLup-Ba-TaPp-Ba-DhpP-Ba-TApP-bLpP. NO MADELEINE. She leaves the two twins behind and announces to the Tap-ass gang and Gerry that 'Madeleine has disappeared, mate'. The po-po arrived at 10.35pm and did a woeful jarb in their investigation. Here's a few examples: they let any old morahn pirouette over the crime scene; they didn't contact any other agencies about the disappearance; they didn't flap their mouths at witnesses in orderhr to understand the events that took place; they didn't blahwck the fucking road until 10am the next morning; they didn't seem to understand that time is very precious.

In a situation like this, hahf of recovered children are found within three hours - usually popped off to the local park or they got stuck in the attic. 94% of recovered children are found in 72 hours. 100% of children who are ultimately murdhrd are dead.

Now moving to the evidence of this case (don't forget to put your mac and trilby awn, guys), the Portuguese police and Scahtland Yard investigated, and we see a number of private investigators. The McCanns were identified as possible suspects. And the dogs were brought in for sniffing. There were conflicting accounts of what was found, which makes the case pretty confusing. DNA? Well, the dogs reportedly detected the malodorous pong of flatline, and blood, and awn the McCann's rental car. The analyses of the sahmples were: a bunch of inconsistent gnat's piss. Even when the police tharght they had something with the DNA, their theories were complete bullquim. The dog's detected something in a car that was rented 25 days ahfter Madeleine's disappearance, which made them think that Gerry and Kate must have frozen Madeleine and later put her in the vehicle and dumped her somewhere - it didn't make a modicum of fucking sense.

There was a line-up of suspicious characters. As I mentioned earlier, Jane Tanner saw some Portuguese guy stroll off with a little girl in his arms. A man had been walking in the same spaht and was carrying his daughter. The police concluded it was likely that Tanner saw that individual tottering alawng
with his child in his arms. Mary and Martin Smith, also on vacation, saw a man carrying a kid at 10pm. He, apparently, did naht look like a tourist, so...
just a foreigner in his own land, right. There were reports of cutthroat pirates sat on barrels, singing sea shanties late at night. It's been reported that a man was ahsking for money for an imaginary orphanage - that 100% definicertainly sounds iffy as all fuck.

A man was ahsking a tourist for cash but was looking past her in order to stare at her daughter. He returned the same day but was scared off by mummy mother. Another report indicates that a mask-wearing man committed assaults against children. *Sarcastically* Oh great! Batman's gone berserk and has become a peddle file. A number of these crimes occurred before May Three. *Brief chuckle of disbelief* This is the worst dive I've ever heard since watching a sahccer match. Why the turd would anyone go awn vacation there?! At the time of making this video, Madeline McCann is still missing. And the police are no closer to solving the case.

In twenny nineteen, a German serving life in prison in Germany was a good suspect, it was believed that he could have been the Caped Crusader. He was later cleared, but the hunt for Wrong Batman still continues...

[/url]

Aside from suspecting the crappy parents and some Portuguese guy, who else is there to suspect? And who would commit this crime? Well, he - I assoome this as most criminals are male - has gotten away with it for thirteen years, right. Therefore, he's a very resourceful and highly intelligent individual. He knew when the McCanns went out boozing. He took advantage of the questionable area and slipped in and out of the premises. But what would he be doing now? Well, it's very likely he's 'fled the crime scene' to somewhere far away so that he never goes back there, a land with plenty of opportoonity for exahmple. It's also likely that he is Portuguese or has Hispanic ancestry. He'll most prahbably learn about his own sadistic behaviour by educating himself in psychahlahgy; his primary target appears to be Toddlers. *Knowingly raises eyebrow* Ah-hegh, I'm playing with you.

The theory is it could have been a covered-up accidental death. Statistically, the parents are the most likely perpetrators of a crime like this. In many cases, though, there's a laht of luggage inside. I mean, it is a vacation resort, right, ah-hegh. The parents are usually separated or divorced, and that was naht the case here. Although Kate was mad at Gerry the night before for naht spraying air freshener after he drahpped a nostril-tickler in the lavatory - it's not a sign of a failing relationship. Why, on several occasions I've budged my fudge and my wife complained about the miasma yet hasn't left me.

Was it a premeditated mrrdhr? Naht likely, yo. One kid out of three?! Everyone involved conspiring altogether?! On vacation?! It's pahssible that Madeleine perhaps bonked her head on furniturhre or drowned in a bahthtub, or maybe they gave her a sedative and the dosage was too much, although physicians like them wouldn't screw that up. The problem here is the testimony of the Tap-ass Seven. There's not a chahnce in a Pink Floyd reunion that they all conspired to cover up a crime. Even if they did, that would leave one of the McCann's a hahf hour to dispose of the bardy. The theory that Kate and/or John (yes, I said 'John') hid the bardy is unlikely; they didn't even have time to sip a hot cup-of-joe once the press swarmed them.

But one slice of evidence that goes against the 'retrieved body' theory is the McCann's tireless efforts to find their missing dahghter, hiring private investigators - albeit from donated funds - and talking to pahliticians. They have been dedicated in the safe return of Madeleine. I guess it could be an act to make some people less suspicious, but come on... how could you keep that up for thirteen years? They would get lazy. They would want the story to end.

One thing that supports this theory it was an accident is the viewpoint that the McCanns are good-for-nothing 'parents' who were more interested in chugging alcohol than ensuring their children's safety was a priority. They made colossal mistakes. They left three children under the age of four in an unlahked apartment, with Portuguese Bruce Wayne swooping from the rooftahps, all alone at hahf hour at a time, so they could get cheery awn beverages. All this while in a foreign country - overseas - where they don't live. They had access to a baby-sitting service, but the bar beckoned them with its happy hour. Kate wrote in her diary: 'Hiring a babysitter was unwise'. Of course, now she regrets that decision. ZING!

One of the Tap-ass Seven used a baby mahnitor, right. So, they tried to mahnitor their children. Now, I think everyone in this situation was technically fucking stupid, but at least one of them got a baby mahnitor to compensate for their less-than-intelligent and shameful decisions. The McCanns did naht have a baby mahnitorhr and have paid the price for their exceedingly piss-poor judgement. But Madeline paid the highest price of all. Two physicians? Common sense? Weird combination. The other members of their group were physicians as well. They certainly don't have a Doctorate or PhD in Rudimentary Intelligence.

The reaction of Kate and Gerry McCann was suspicious to certain members of the public because they didn't appear very upset. No one knows how anyone would react in a situation like this. Kate cried while Gerry did naht. As I said earlier, he pooped out a banger and was unfazed by the stench, so it's unlikely his eyes watered. Some people thought Gerry was a bit of an asshole. Kate's tears were perfection, if there is such a thing. People noticed Kate was distraught for leaving Madeleine alone and naht purchasing a baby mahnitorhr.

Third theory: she was abducted by a trafficking ring who sized up the joint before swiping the poor girl. And the fourth theory: the Lizard People came alawng and put Madeleine in their spaceship, ah-hegh. I had to get the derisive David Icke allusion in there.

One of the things that supports this theory is that Madeleine could've been taken in between the hahf hour when the parents would check in awn their kids. Somebody had to conduct reconnaissance in orderhr to scope out if there were uhdults around and if the apartment was unlahked. It would seem unlikely that Imposter Batman could have gained this much intelligence. The Lizard People, though, could gain more intelligence than David Icke, which isn't very difficult, ah-hegh.

I think the intruder theory is the most likely. All those noisy pirates creating an inadvertent distraction as they tipped back and forth on their barrels and sang songs in a surly manner. Maybe the perpetrator noted down the times of when the McCanns and Tap-ass Seven pahpped in and out, or he was simply lucky enough to dardge them. But someone like this would have committed similar crimes in the same area and would draw attention to themselves. A local man would be caught eventually. Thirteen years is a long time in 'eventually'. It goes back to the police's theory: career criminal who jets around from country to country.

One aspect that supports both theories is the restaurant had a note reading: ''a table wants a specific view so that the patrons could get fucked on drinks while keeping their peepers on their apartments''. Evidently, that note was in plain view of those frequenting the food and drink factory. So, the perpetrator could have had his hands in his parckets, nonchalantly whistled as he went pahst, spahtted the note, then had the notion of committing a burglary and settled for a valuable child instead of a bahx of rubles and coppecks.

What really stood out for me with this investigation was the Portuguese police didn't seem concerned about justice for a foreign kid. They offered Kate McCann two years in the slammer if she confessed. If she didn't do it, what's the fucking point in making her confess?! By offering jail time exclusively for Kate but not Jerry, they really shook hands with the dirt. It was obvious they had jack shit to go by. The demonstration of incompetency was the police sketch



Look at this sorry, miserable, squashed thing!! Can anybody tell what's wrong with this picture? Anybody? Anybody at all? I can. Everything! From the minimal oval and sweeping applications indicating the hair to the opacity of the ink. The fuck is it?! Look's like a eunuch's sandwich. Did a kid go awn an Easter egg hunt and say, ''You know what... fuck this! I'ma create an entry for the Turner Prize and I don't care who knows it, motherfucker!' Ah-hegh! 'Season three of Dare to Believe is never gonna happen, but I'll contribute with my own illustrative prahp anyway'. It's an abysmal e-fit. We can laud it as a mahsterpiece of a sketch if the suspect has the charmless face of Nicholas Cage's slapped ass. It certainly takes 'drawing attention' to a whole new level.



I mean, George Harrison did a self-portrait (of himself) and it uncannily resembles evil nutjarb Richard Ramirez. It goes to show that people can do a good e-fit without even trying. Other people, however, come out with geometric nahnsense.

Whenever I talk about controversial and careless parents featuring terrible e-fits, there will be a variety of opinions. Please whack your virtual letters into an envelope and send it to the usual address: 12 Dr Grande Boulevard, YouTube, U.S.A. P.O. Barx: 7H4NK5 4 W47CH1N6.
« Last Edit: May 28, 2020, 12:58:05 AM by DangledTeeth »

Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #19 on: May 30, 2020, 08:40:49 AM »
.

DangledTeeth

  • I'm the avatar's husband.
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #20 on: May 31, 2020, 12:33:38 AM »





HellothszDrGrarnday. Today's question isn't actually a question, it's based awn an individual mentioned in your interesting dialogue about the Madeleine McCann Case video. You wonderful subscribers recommended Peter Hi-yat or Huh-yart Or hee-yot, whichever. Of course, Peter Huyawt is a real person. I'm not diagnosing him, only speculating awn the purpose of his jarb and if there are any mental health factors which can be attributed to him in a situation like this.

Peter Hyatt is a statement analyst and instructor who teaches statement analysis and analytical interviewing to law enforcement and corporate America. He leads an elite team of professional investigators from across the US, Canada & Western Europe in solving both live and cold cases. He’s written the certification training program for investigators, HR professionals, psychologists, attorneys and other professionals from around the nation, the UK and Canada. He analysed the transcripts for the McCanns' television interview, but curiously, *frowns and tilts head* he doesn't seem to have any credentials/qualifications in psychology orhr English. Oh, and he's married to Heather Hyatt, and has six children and four grandchildren

His jarb is to scrutinise the statements of suspects and deduce deception in the suspects' usage of language. He achieves this by focusing awn suspects' pronoun usage, changes in vocabulary, speaking in past tense when present tense is more appropriate, and sharing unnecessary details which, he believes, is deceptive because a supposedly false narrative is used to veil the suspect's alleged guilt. I mean, it does seem to be helpful to some extent, although it can be argued that even the most innocent of people can say the 'wrong thing' out of nervousness or assoome the worst about a missing relative or partner. Naht everyone is going to say, 'My Son or daughter is great.' Some may immediately or eventually say 'He/she was great' without any hope a genuinely missing loved will come back safely, right. It's naht a 100% foolproof or used as a scientific method, as I later discovered...

What are the origins of statement anaylsis? Well, a man named Avinoam Sapir came up with his investigative tool. He was born in 1949 in Israel. He earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology and criminology at Bar-Ilan University and a master’s in criminology at Tel Aviv University. He served in Israeli military intelligence Unit 8200 (similar to the US's NSA). He became a polygrahph examinerhr with the Israel police. In the mid-1980s, he moved to the United States, where he began teaching SCAN to investigators awn six cahntinents. So... he's quite well educated and appears to be in a position to develop such a system.

Now, SCAN is an investigative tool which stands forhr 'Scientific Content Analysis' - I'm not sure what the N stands for, ah-hegh, the 'n' in 'Analysis'?!
It's been sold as a prahduct by the Laboratory for Scientific Interrogation (LSI). According to four scholars in a 2016 study, there's no empirical supporhrt and no dependable research showing that SCAN does work. Testimonials awn the website have no names attached.

A SCAN analyst doesn't need to know about the individual or the case itself. Sapir has written that it's 'preferable' - which seems ahdd. Surely you'd want to know about the cahntext of the crime and personality of the individual in orderhr to understand if anything has influenced their statement. It would appear that SCAN is a prahfitible gimmick and isn't considered worthy in the world of criminal investigation. To put it another way, it's a superfluous set of cleft pebbles.

In two thousand ten, research began into SCAN (ah-hegh, nice little rhyme) by a task force called the High-Value Detainee Interrogation Group contracted with world-renowned, PhD-level scientists who specialise in interrogation. Three agencies make up the HIG: the FBI, CIA and the U.S. Department of Defense.

The HIG’s research program conducted tests, canvassed the scholarship awn interrogations and produced scores of peer-reviewed articles. In September 2016, the HIG produced a 93-page review of its findings. SCAN “is widely employed in spite of a lack of supporting research,” the review said. Studies commonly cited in support of SCAN were scientifically flawed, the review said. “When all 12 SCAN criteria were used in a laboratory study, SCAN did not distinguish truth-tellers from liars above the level of chance,” the review said. The synopsis also specifically challenged two of those 12 criteria, noting: “Both gaps in memory and spontaneous corrections have been shown to be indicators of truth, contrary to what is claimed by SCAN.”

Going back to the initial subject of this video, Peter Hyatt applies this procedure or has at least been trained/influenced by it, and he seems to be a kind of superstar as far as statement analysis goes. And his YouToob channel has numerous videos of himself explaining aspects of different cases by using a flipchart inside of a study and library. I suppose one shouldn't wholly judge the validity of a subject based awn the presentation, but it does strike me as somewhat unsophisticated, right. Looks like a sales pitch or an ahffice meeting to me. It was at this point when I googled him and read his aforementioned work history and credentials.

In this clip I've borrowed from a YouTube Channel, we'll see Hyatt at worhrk, dictating the interview transcript of Gerry and Kate McCann's account of events and sharing his interpretation.

--------





Gerry: Didda kill Madderlin? Yer bum’s oot the windae, Jimmay. Ah dinnae ken. The wee bawface bairn wis playin' wiv creyuns, meyt. She drrrroo a pikchur o'her mammy and daddy, aayye - ye cannae shove yer granny off thae bus. Shoogly tattie. An' we hadda darink at tha bar fae fyoo urwahs, big yin. tha fockin' auld table, aye. Braw big focker, y'big shitebag.  Mony a mickle maks a muckle. Gies yer fockin' luptawp, ye crabbit gawk cunt!!!

Peter: Gerry repeated the question the interviewer gave him, 'Did I kill Madeleine'? Followed by broadly incomprehensible dialogue in Welsh. He refers to Madeleine as a 'wee bawface bairn', which means small round-faced child, I believe. Not as 'Madeleine', though. And that indicates a certain level of guilt. The horrific nature of the crime has caused him to disassociate himself from his daughter by speaking of her in the third-person.



Kate: Ahlrait-ahlrait, cyahm down, cyahm down, ehy! Come 'ead inta 'ere, rright. The door of the bafroOOm opened and the keertains were blowen bahchk and forth, lihghke. And I said, ya wha'?!Then Iy teerned arround and nohticed my lih-ul kid has disappeared. And den me an' Geh-ree 'cross deh Mer-seeeey called the bizzies dead quickly, ehy. No fhockin crimbo prezzy this year, lihghke. Iy donno wha's happened to heah.



Peter: Kate distracts us with unneccesary details that sounds like the opening of a mediocre novel. And why doesn't Kate say: 'There will be no Christmas presents for my darling daughter if she isn't found. Madeleine's disappearance is devastatingly mysterious and I want her to come home right now.' Even better, she could say: ''I didn't kill her. It's the truth. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to search tirelessly for Madeleine, my daughter.''

--------

The interpretations of the statements are interesting and could be true, but just about anyone can make plausible guesses as to what happened to Madeleine.

Peter appears to be articulate, cahnfident, engaging and polite. He seems rahther dedicated to his role and is respected. So, what mental health factors have been manifested here? Well, nothing unusual or concerning stands out in his speech, demeanour or beliefs, but just because a regularly used method is employed by people of authority doesn't mean it's correct and infallible.

Whenever I talk about investigators of law enforcement agencies there will be a variety of interesting dialogue. Please put those in the cahmments section, they always generate an opinions. As always, Dr Grande thanks you for watching... thanks for watching.

DangledTeeth

  • I'm the avatar's husband.
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #21 on: June 03, 2020, 10:10:16 PM »


Welcome to the scientifically informed and insider look at those mental health tahpics. If you enjoy this content, do as I say: like it and subscribe to Dee Ar Grarnday.



Guess who? Yep, it's Dr Grande. Today's question asks: what are the mental health and personality factors of the British legend Captain Tom Moore and the legions of people who adorhre him. Of course, it's disclaimer time: Sir Captain Sir Thomas Moore and his fans are real people, so I'm naht diagnosing them, only speculating awn what's occurring in their nuggets in a situation like this.

Captain Sir Thomas Moore, Gladiator of Britannia, born Thomas Moore, April thirty 1920, popularly known as Captain Tom, is a former British Army officer known for his achievements raising money for charity in the run-up to his 100th birthday during the COVID-19 pandemic.



We see Moore holds three Guinness World Records: as the fundraiser raising the greatest amount of money in an individual charity walk, and as the oldest person to have a number-one single awn the UK charts - a cover of the late Gary Moore's 'Still Got the Blues'. And the third Gee Dubya Ar is for Tom's insertion of a double Whopper into his own anal passage, giving his antiquated sphincter a rahther tense work-out for four minutes and twenty-six seconds. He beat former world record holder John Prescott by a whopping ten seconds, excuse my pun. Moore almost failed the record attempt when a fecal strip of lettuce delicately hung out from his heroic asshole and almost scraped the surface of the GWR HQ lino. GWR rules states that no item of the penetrating object can come into contact with the ground where the (potential) record-breaking feat is occurring or else it will result in a failed attempt. GWR adjudicator Mark McKinley gave his verdict: ''The beef patty, bread buns, artificial tomatoes, slices of onion and cucumber coagulated into one convenient mass, but a stray piece of lettuce almost instigated a failed attempt. But fortunately, I am satisfied to confirm that not one crumb of the Burger King specialty landed on the pristine floor of our judging hall. Thomas Moore has set a new record of four minutes and twenty-six seconds. Congratulations, Tom. You are officially a record holder''




Another kind of GWR, Great Western Railways, unveiled the Captain Thomas Moore Express commemorating the milestone of the aforementioned Captain who single-handedly toppled the Nazi regime with the help of no-one except his steadfast duty to King and Country. The world-renowned vintage train line Bluebell Railway has put a temporary new service on its track called Thomas Moore the Tank Engine. It will convey passengers back and forhrth for one month to pay respect to Sir Thomas Moore's service to the army and for his snail-paced laps.''



An unveiling of a tribute statue for the Stalwart of the Royal Armoured Corps occurred awn May 29 2020. The style of the statue was also made in respect of a famous artist with the same surname called Henry Moore. Sir Nicholas Serota was present at the unveiling and he commented: ''It's an honour to present the art-loving public with a sculpted depiction of a wonderful serviceman in the style and medium of another British treasure. Thank you, Sir Captain Moore, for circling your garden and saving Blighty from the mischievous bloke with the square moustache.''



And if that's not all, a project to deepfake Demi Moore's film 'Striptease' is apparently in the works. No trailer clip yet exists, but if people enjoy this redone film for its updated raunchy scenes of a century-old man getting his melons out, then I suspect they'll be plenty of bruised willies in their hands, ah-hegh. Demi Moore was married to Bruce Willis, right. I had to use the old Grande wit.



''Yo, encore, encore. It's Tom Moore. Giving you the rhymes that are fresh. I popped several Nazi motherfuckers to death. Yeah, you get the picture, I saved Britain from Hitler. From laps to raps, I did this in a century. It's how it's meant to be.''

Rap legend R.A. the Rugged Man saw the news about Sir Tom's fund-raising perambulation and felt moved by the spectacle. ''I felt really proud when I saw Tom Moore doing those laps, because my father was a Vietnam veteran, so I have a laht of love and respect for heroes who serve in the army,'' said the New York lyrical gymnast. ''I contacted his daughter over Twitter and ehsked if Tom would like to do a special cut for the War Vets Charity in NY and she agreed. As you'll see, I got the artist of the album cover to produce an updated version with Tom's face over mine. It was a pleasure to guide Captain Tom on how to rap. He's legendary. It's a cleassic rekkid.''

Bigoted mouthpiece Lord Jamar stated: ''I heard this new special remix of the track where I lamely shoehorned a couple of fragmented verses in, while sounding like my mouth was filled with berries. I have to admit, this old white guy is pretty nice. His wordplay captivated me more than Eminem's new shit.''

Original gangsta rapper Ice T commented: ''Captain Tom, respect to you, brother. You certainly keep it one hunnid. You're a true G of your regiment.''


--------

It appears that Captain Tom is quite sensational and much-loved by a laht of the denizens of the United Kingdom.

So what are the mental health factors here. Well, Captain Tom doesn't appear to suffer from dementia or any similar condition, but he appears to exhibit grandiose narcissism with his attention-seeking walkabout, although he doesn't seem dahmineering, manipulative or self-obsessed in interviews. His outward behaveyur doesn't align with the other criteria for an NPD diagnosis. I would say that he wanted to do a charitable challenge because he cares about the cause. His altruistic nature sets an inspirational example for us all.

But what about the mental health aspect regarding the majority of the British public? Are there any symptoms of any disorderhrs? No, there are naht. I think with the pandemic of COVID-19, the news media is milking the story dry in orderhr to fill the pages with an awngoing lovely narrative because there's been hardly anything else going awn prior to the rioting here in the States.

It's important to note that having a role mahdel is actually healthy, but being ridiculously focused awn one individual as though he's concocted a cure for COVID-19 or invented something revolutionary is very laahghable and tiresome.

Whenever I talk about ancient veterans who dodder alawng for a charitable cause, there will be a variety of opinions - some of you will agree with me and there are those who'll disagree with me. Please put your tharghts and opinions in the comments section; they always generate an interesting dialogue. As always, I hope you found my analysis of this tahpic to be interesting. Thanks for watching.

« Last Edit: June 03, 2020, 10:35:15 PM by DangledTeeth »

DangledTeeth

  • I'm the avatar's husband.
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #22 on: June 04, 2020, 10:45:16 PM »




What it do, dudes. It's Doctor Grande here. Today's question asks... well, there isn't one. As you can tell by the title, I have reached 300,000 subscribers. I'm really overwhelmed that people are finding helpful information from these videos. I hit 200,000 subscribers in February and here we are in June and I've already gained an additional four thousand subscribers. It means a laht to me to share mennal health tahpics with you all.

What people have ahsked me in the pahst is what are my favourite films. To celebrate this wonderful milestone, I'm going to do Dr Grande's top five favourite motion pictures. Some of my upcoming selections will prahbably be laahghed at by a multitude of film critics and have a poorness award on Rotten Tomatoes, but it's all subjective, and I like all kinds of films. Potential spoilers - please consult my top five in the description below to avoid hearing about films you've naht seen.


Number 5: Yesterday

Yesterday is a romance cahmedy by Richard Curtis, the guy behind Love Actually (which I really enjoy), and it has a fantasy twist. The premise is: a young and aspiring musician called Jack Malik has a jarb in a warehouse and we see demonstrations of his sawng-writing ability. He has a close-knit circle of friends, one of whom is the archetypal clown pal who says embarrassing things or misunderstands something in a cahmical manner. Jack has a solid friendship with Ellie, who acts as his manager and becomes his life partner. One evening, Jack peddles home on his bike and is hit by a bus during an outage. It's revealed awn a newspaper headline that a worldwide blackout occurred and this inexplicably causes everyone except Jack (and a handful of other people) to forget who the Beatles are.

It's really imaginative and pushes the limits of somebody's character and desires as a music fan. The inclusion of a contemporary pahp star, Ed Sheeran, added more weight to an already thrilling plaht. It has beautiful set-pieces and it's directed to perfection by Danny Boyle. There were a few exceptions I had with the film in terms of pacing, but it had a decent ending and taught us the value of honesty and friendship... and the awesomeness of The Beatles.


Number 4: Alien Ressurection

A true sci-fi classic. One of my favourites in the genre. We see a gang of mercenaries rahck up to a spaceship of some kind. Ellen Ripley is a clone, and mad scientist Brad Dourif creates a snotty-looking alien from Ripley's DNA. The action is tense and brilliantly choreograhped. And special mention goes to the thong-clad ass, ah-hegh.


Number 3: Rise of the Footsoldier

Another British classic with that guy from Cliffhanger as the protagonist. Craig Fairbrass plays real-life gangster Pat Tate. I found it to be a really insightful portrayal of criminal psychopathy with traits of anti-social disorder, too. But above all, it's utterly hilarious. Favourites include the scene where Pat is being masturbated by his girlfriend, and he becomes irate when he's presented with a receipt including a service charge: ''Listen to me, you low-life jobsworth cunt!'', consequently assaulting the waiter and a checkout clerk, delivering a homerun of a line: '''ow much fucking money have you got in there, you cunt?!' And the other classic is the telephone exchange with an irahnically condescending pizza shop manager before Pat angrily confronts the aforementioned manager and slices his face open for not delivering a pizza - Pat must be really hungry for the hot'n'spicy cannibalism special, ah-hegh. Oh, and let's not forget 'Captain Price's' crushing statement before blahsting Pat with a shotgun: ''You soppy cunt! You soppy, greedy, gullible cunt!''. There's a lot of 'cunts' in this film, and I'm naht talking about the actors, ah-hegh. An incredibly visceral examination into the British criminal underworld.


Number 2: Exorcist 2: The Heretic

The locust camera. The crumbling house. Richard Burton! Need I say more? Excellent film.


Number 1: Compilation DVD of Three Stories

I have no idea what any of them are called or where my DVD went. I looked at IMDb at the time and all the actors never went on to do anything else, although the voiceover introduction guy had a successful career prior to the film. The first one is a story about a man who buys a talking car that orderhrs him to do things - only he can hear its voice, so we see schizophrenic commands there, which I tharght was compelling. The second story has a man who's late on paying his rent, and a mouldy prahduct in his fridge talks to him or something like that. I don't remember the third story, but maybe that's because it's so amazing I've repressed my memory of how spellbinding it was.

Now I know when Dr Grande celebrates a hundredth thousand milestone and speaks about shit films - I mean good films - there will be a variety of opinions. Please put those in the comments section. They always generate an interesting dialogue. As always, I hope you found my subjective viewpoints of the five films to be interesting. Thanks for watching.
« Last Edit: June 04, 2020, 11:05:23 PM by DangledTeeth »

DangledTeeth

  • I'm the avatar's husband.
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #23 on: June 05, 2020, 11:12:03 PM »


Welcome to my scientifically-informed insider look at mennal health tahpics. If you find this video to be interesting and helpful, please like it and subscribe to my channel.



Doctor Grande here. Today's question ahsks: are there any new mental illnesses or disorderhrs lined up for the future DSM-6? Now, going my experience and independent research, I would add one to the manual. The DSM isn't a real person, so I'm nah diagnosing anybody, only speculating awn what could be included in the tome of cerebral consultancy. I'm naht awn the committee which approves the research, nor do I compile the DSM. The American Psychiatry Association does this.

The new disorderhr I'll talk about is called Whice Supremacy Syndrome. What does 'whice' mean. Well, it's a portmanteau of the worhrds 'white' and 'nice'. It's exclusive to Caucasian people, primarily women. It usually affects people in the Portland and Seattle areas and cahsmahpahlitan areas throughout Europe. It's typified by an occasional yet ardent 'concern' for PoC and openly bragging about what cause the whice supremacist donated to. *Shakes head* Donate in silence - it's naht a cahmpetition. It's solely expressed through what I call 'apptivism'. Whice Supremacy Syndrome is usually co-morbid with White Saviour Cuntplex with OCD and narcissistic features.

The female whice supremacist feigns disgust in racism and the plight of PoC as a way to project their underlying joy that they are naht black and are easily the most desired race of woman on the planet. Of course, race fetishism for non-whites occurs and is an unusual prahblem. It belittles people as though they're arbjects.

Quite suspiciously, female sufferers of WSS appear to be relatively independent and are seemingly financially secure, right. What's more, their partner is always white. So... they cahn't excuse their social justice mindset awn an affinity with black or hispanic cultures through their informative husband who's black or Hispanic or Asian, at least. Or being gay and being in a relationship with a PoC.

The whice supremacist has a predilection for venturing into woodland areas at every goddamn opportoonity, or living in the woods. I mean, you're hardly likely to find downtown Oakland behind one of those trees, right. The closest they'd get to a brown person is a bear, ah-hegh. Could this combination of tranquil living and anti-racism be a coincidence? No. The scientific literature says it is naht.




Let's take a look at a prime exahmple: this is the Playmate of the Year 2007 called Sara Underwood - an appropriate surname, if there ever was one, except... she doesn't live under the woods, she lives in the woods, so, I suppose that little quip doesn't really work; then again, neither does she, right *briefly smirks*.




Not only does she live in a quaint cabin with her partner, they have also fashioned their vehicle into a mobile cabin. How adorably convenient. According to her Wikipedia page (assooming it's correct) she's from Portland, Oregon - a city where 77% of the pahpulation are white. Well, I suppose there is the diversity of the numerous animals and insects inhabiting the woodland area. Here's a quite recent screenshaht of her Instagram feed:






On the surface, this level of wokeness across the internet is plainly nice but naht that effective and it certainly isn't a game. But if I'm naht mistaken, Sara seems to be treating this as though it's a game. With the untrammelled array of activist posts considered, it looks like she wants to thunder through the finishing tape and swipe the Olympic torch, too.




We see Sara exploring the vastness of a canyon, doubtless awn her way to throw the cahntents of her rucksack in protest at a small business. Perhaps she ought to explorhre a clothing storhre and purchase appropriate clothes (naht that I'm complaining), but when I assess the surroundings, I don't think her minimal attire is suitable for traversing the depicted environment, right. I mean, she could trip over a rahk and graze her shin, while the gentle current leaves a glistening effect awn her trekking legs and glutebags.

I suppose what she does is better than being a run-of-the-mill halfwit who frequently promotes questionable fad diets and endorses everything that comes her way, but I suspect that black rights activists and similar could do with more than 'nice'; they need people to be present in their protests or those who can dismantle racism in the workplace. Who knows, maybe she has numerous PoC friends and has attended several marches or rallies. If so, great. But the available evidence indicates that she seemingly lives a more fruitful life than even the average cracker. So, if white superiority were Mount Everest, she'd drive the flag into the peak and kick an avalanche into our faces.




What's that emblazoned on her headwear? 'Fuck of'? Ah, her hand is covering the third F. Oh, Oh! What do we have here?!?! An Aztec-style mat on the floorhr and a blanket behind her which prahbably are naht sourced from a humble reservation community. Fine her $1,000 for a cultural appropriation offence!

We see via her picture's caption that she doesn't like racists, xenophobes, anti-semites etc. Yeah, well, if you don't like it, heed your hat and fuck off back to Europe and leave your cabin behind for an indigenous family to live in, you fairly attractive, try-hard annoyance.




If her visual cahntent were to be judged in conjunction with the sincerity of her overblown apptivism, I can safely say it's about as real as her tits, right, ah-hegh. Hmm... yeah.




Ahem. *Stares into space* Yes... note that she has a bafthtub in the most unlikely place - the pair of them get washed frequently. And when I say 'pair of them' I'm referring to her and her partner, although now that I imagine it - think about it - her prominent bangers get cleansed in the prahcess. And there are logs behind her. I've got wood as well... erm, in my log fire at home. She's prahbably an okay woman, but I think she (and those like her) could be more subtle in their approach.

Whenever I talk about scantily-clad, virtue-signalling, middle-of-the-road celebrities there will be a variety of opinions. Please put your tharghts and opinions in the cahmments section. They always generate an interesting dialogue. As always, I hope you found my news awn a new mental disorderhr to be interesting. Thanks for wanking. I mean watching. We don't use that word, we say 'jerking off'.
« Last Edit: June 05, 2020, 11:35:28 PM by DangledTeeth »

Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #24 on: June 06, 2020, 12:47:00 PM »
.

DangledTeeth

  • I'm the avatar's husband.
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #25 on: June 06, 2020, 06:21:12 PM »

Thank you, Glitch King. You are so kind.

-----



Hello YouToob. This is Dr Grande.

Today's question ahsks if I can look at the mental health and personality factors of the David Berkowitz case? No. I'm sorry to disappoint anyone (if you didn't check the length of this video), I don't think this serial killer is interesting. I'm certainly naht diagnosing anyone.

I know that whenever I make a pithy video about my lack of interest for a gun-toting murderer there will be a variety of opinions. Please refrain from expressing your acute disappointment in the cahmments section as there will be no interesting dialogue this time around. Only this once I hope you found my 'analysis' to be underwhelming. Thanks for watching.


DangledTeeth

  • I'm the avatar's husband.
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #26 on: June 17, 2020, 11:52:49 PM »


Hey, it's Dmitry Grandelovka. Welcome to the scientist informed and mental health. If you like this content, please like and subscribe. I have fever and put axe in your head.



HellothisisDrGrande. Today's question ahsks can I analyse the mental health and personality characteristics of Dr Todd L. Grande. That would be myself.

Todd L. Grande is a mental health counsellor based in Delaware. Yes... Delaware. He has a Ph.D in psychahlahgy and is a licensed mental health clinician. He's also a professor for the counselling program at Wilmington University. So, kind of similar to Jordnpetrsn except Dr Grande doesn't go awn about postmodernist neo-Marxists and how men have it tougher in terms of job roles.
 
I have a YouTube Channel, erm, Dr Grande has a YouTube channel where he uploads daily videos based awn mental illnesses or disawderhrs, analysis of films and criminal cases - primarily about serial killers. It's interesting that Dr Grande insists on saying 'Hello, this is Dr Grande' right ahfter every intro sequence ends with 'Dr Grande Counselor Education and Supervision'. We know who he is, so when you combine that with the 'daily uploading' factor, it does seem somewhat narcissistic, right. Almost like he enjoys hearing his own voice... Every. Day. So... we also see a symptom of OCD here - a preahccupation with ritualistic behavyurrrr.

We also see the merchandise underneath every video, and he is now being more vocal about his Patreon, so, he wants his erudition to generate money or believes he's supreme enough to earn top bucks. Well, he certainly is an endearing, informative expert and deserves every cent, but one does wonder why he - and any YouTuber - are so keen to push merchandise awn us when, arguably, some of it is quite plain and dull. A forty dollar hoodie with SCIENCE emblazoned across it?! A t-shirt with 'WHANG' or 'AVGN' printed awn it. I mean, who the fuck would wear or drink out of this stuff?! When I say 'drink' I'm referring to the coffee mugs, naht soaking the t-shirhrt then wringing it over your open mouth.

In a previous video of his, Dr Grande recounts a time when he was the victim of a road accident, leaving him with a limp and painful discomfort. It was this life-changing incident that inspired him to be the modestly intelligent champion of YouToob. Dr Grande is psychahlahgically perfect. He has no disorhrders and has no prahblems sub-clinically. What's more, he's engaging, polite, tharghtful, and a hot-ass motherfucker with a superdope range of eye-catching shirhrts.

Whenever I speak about mental experts on YouTube there will be a variety of opinions. Oh, and please drop a virtual cent into my app-wallet where you can gain access to more sensitive videos. As always, I hope you found my analysis to be balanced and relaxing. I am grateful for your observation.

DangledTeeth

  • I'm the avatar's husband.
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #27 on: June 28, 2020, 10:45:47 PM »




Hello, thiss-is-Dr-Grande. Yep, what you didn't see is correct; there is no 'book stack' title sequence in this video. I've gone straight into this motherfucker by including a slick graphic of my name to your left at the corner. But you can still see the logo displayed awn my mahnitor as part of my video-editing program.

Today's question ahsks can I look at the mental health and personality characteristics and attributes of television puppet Sooty. Just to remind everyone: Sooty is a real glove puppet, so I am not diagonising him, only speculating awn what could be going awn in a situation like this.

Now, Sooty is a national treasure in the United Kingdom. He is a glove puppet television, stage, comic book and film character, who is a small yellow, magical male bear with black ears and nose who likes to perform magic tricks and play practical jokes. Although mute to the audience, he is said to be able to communicate by 'whispering' in the ear of his handler. He was created by Harry Corbett in 1948. Sooty debuted awn local television in 1952, and the children's television shows that 'bear' his name have continued in various forms since 1955.

According to Guinness World Records, together they are the longest-running "non-consecutive" children's programme in the UK, with 857 episodes being aired as of October 30 2018. 'Citation needed' square brackets. Blue Peter holds the record for the world's longest running children's programme. 'Number one' square brackets.

Matthew Corbett - the son of Harry Corbett - became the host of the Sooty Show from 1976 to 1998 ahfter his father's retirement. From 1998, Matthew let the show continue under the current host Richard Cadell.

Sooty was arrested in the fall of two thousand eight and sentenced to life in prison for an array of horrific mhrdhrrs. As I understand it, in good ol' soft-touch Blighty 'life' means a maximum of twenty-five years, while the criminal spends a quarter of a century inside a plush cell, with a respectable dinner menu, bunk bed with a memory foam mattress and access to a games console that's one or two generations behind. Oh... and a 22'' HD Hitachi television. Parkhurst? Park yer ass and enjoy yourself, more like.

Sooty's mhrderous crime spree began in 1989, where he gained a taste for blood and reveled in the callous dismemberment of his three victims. His firhrst victim, Theodore Washbasin, was a former mic operator who worked awn the set of the famous Corbett house. Theodore planned to exit the show to progress awn to CBBC programmes. Now, that's not exactly the reason why he was a former employee; it's because Sooty viciously lunged at Theodore with a Kitchen Devil, consequently severing his throat before slicing off his fingers. This macabre incident occurred on the night of Theodore's leaving party located at a riverside golfing range that's occasionally used for party functions, and it was widely believed that an inebriated Theodore had fallen into a nearby river and drowned to death... as opposed to drowned to delight, right.

Theodore's corpse was discovered in two thousand four ahfter a second investigation was launched by concerned relatives in conjunction with a missing persons agency once a finger with matching DNA washed up on the enbankment. Sooty wasn't yet implicated in the 'disappearance' until two thousand six when his third and final victim's head was found enscahnced into his homely bahx, which Sooty chillingly referred to as 'the keepsake cube of eternal slumber'. Now, serial killers are known to hoard bahdy parts of the victims as a form of trophy, so it came as no surprised evidence of Sooty's heinous crimes were storhred someplace and later found by detectives.

Prior to Sooty's first mhrdhrr during the 1980s, there were a number of allegations primarily from female members of the production and film crew. Sooty, by all accounts, used to briefly expose his bobbled yellow penis at the end of recordings when the cahst weren't in sight, and he once paraded around naked when he knowingly invited a female make-up artist into his dressing room. We see exhibitionist behavyur that's consistent with trait narcissism and An-tie Social Personality Disorder. Sooty's co-star and former friend Sweep attempted to report Sooty's lewd conduct to the produce of the show, but due to his incomprehensible squeaks nobody could understand what the fuck the glorified grey slipper was hysterically yapping about.



In the year 2000, Sooty and friends went on a U.N. fundraising tour throughout the Middle East, concluding the tour at Baghdad Palace where his sensational show was cherished so much he became good friends with the theocratic death merchant known as Suhdarm Hussein.

Sooty's second victim was the puppeteer for the more recent co-star called Cousin Scampi, who was introduced in the revamped 'Sooty and Co' series, which ran from 1993 to 1998. According to an interrogation officer who was part of an intense two-hour interview with the criminally insane mustard bear, Sooty whispered into the interrogator's ear, telling him that Cousin Scampi was a ''pointless hack'' who added ''no value whatsoever'' to the nineties era of the series. Sooty began to feel less cahnfident and secure in his role, which led to Sooty's concealed envy over Cousin Scampi's warm reception and respectable incumbency on the show.

Awn January twelve, two thousand five, a man was found dead with his decomposing severed hand placed several feet away from the victim. The Cousin Scampi puppet was found in the vicinity yet was initially unidentifiable due to the several slash marks which were inflicted across Scampi's face. DNA testing confirmed the identity of Scampi once Soo the panda helpfully gave the investigative team a fibre of wool she found in her minuscule bed. I wonder how that got there, uh-hah.

What would drive Sooty - a famous, much-loved glove puppet, who was the darling of CITV - to act so indecently and commit multiple mhrdhrrs? Well, it seems that Sooty may have developed a disassociation from himself that was co-morbid with psychahpahthy due to several years of being anally fisted by his puppeteer, right. Abuse victims can become nihilistic, delusional and grandiose. We see this manifested in Sooty's reported sickening acts, so we also see schizotypal features.

I find it helpful to assess people through the five factor mahdel which I remember through the acronym O.C.E.A.N. - Openness to experience, cahnscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neurahtucism. Was Sooty high in openness to experience? Well, if Sooty toked on a ginormous bifta, he'd be very high in this regard. His indecent exposure and determination to mhrder his victims gives a sahlid indication that he was open to experience. Cahnscientiousness? I'd say it was pretty low in terms of his lack of tharght for his victims and those who had the misfortune of glancing at his fluffed nudger. High or low in extroversion? It's ahbvious he was terribly low in this factor, as he spent all his time waving his arms in a circular motion, picking up a variety of ahbjects and whispering into ears. Agreeableness? Sooty did agree to appear in several hundred episodes of the hit programme, and he obeyed his three mahsters over the decades. And finally, neurahticism - now, this would be at a very, very low level as he is a stoic, cold-blooded killer who showed no signs of remorse for his egregious misdeeds.

Whenever I talk about evil and controversial gaudy puppets on the end of someone's arm there will be variety of opinions. Please put your tharghts and opinions in the comment section as I'm certain they will generate an interesting dialogue. If you enjoyed this video, perhaps you'd like to consider supporting me on Patreon. I've included the link in the description and hyperlinked it in the video. As always, I hope you found my analysis about the conspicuous slit-mouthed cunt to be interesting. Thanks for watching.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2020, 11:26:34 PM by DangledTeeth »

DangledTeeth

  • I'm the avatar's husband.
Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #28 on: June 30, 2020, 12:42:04 AM »




Greetings. Dr Grande here. Today's question ahsks can I scrutinise the mental health and personality traits of The Laughing Cow. Why, yes I can. Here's my usual disclaimer thing: The Laughing Cow is a real depiction of a fictional red cow, therefore I am naht diagnosing the mascot brand, only speculating awn the purpose of the lightly ahdd representation of the tickled bovine illustration.

The Laughing Cow (French: La vache qui rit) is a brand of processed cheese products made by Fromageries Bel since 1921, and in particular refers to the brand's most popular product, the spreadable wedge. The Laughing Cow is red, white and jovial, and is almost always depicted wearing ear tags that look like the round boxes the cheese comes in (an example of the Droste effect). On April 16, 1921, Léon Bel - 'four' square brackets - trademarked his brand, called La Vache qui rit, in France. In the trademark, the cow is said to have 'a hilarious expression'. Bel had made the original drawing himself, after seeing a travelling meat wagon during World War I called "La Wachkyrie", a play on the word for Valkyrie. In the beginning she was not laughing, she was not red and she did not wear ear tags. This patent was the very first branded cheese product registered in France. In 1924, illustrator Benjamin Rabier edited the drawing into something more like the image that prevails today. The blue and white stripes around the box date from 1955. Since 1976 both ear-tag boxes have been shown with the top-side visible. Before that year consumers were shown a top and bottom side. The current logo uses the Droste effect, with the laughing cow appearing inside the ear tags. 'Five' square brackets.

We see the 'Laughing Cow' gaze at us mid-lahghter, complete with earrings of its own face emblazoned awn the aforementioned circular ear-clingers.
This feature meets with a criterion for Narcissistic Personality Disorderhr: excessive display of self-admiration. Let's not overlook the fact Laughing Cow has starred in numerous cheesy commercials over the decades. Now, to be diagnosed with NPD, one needs to have traits which match with at least six of the nine criteria. Fortunately, Laughing Cow is restricted in its unconvincingly rigid chuckling as demonstrated through several frames of animation, right. So, there isn't much to assess here.

But what would cause a crimson bipedal slab of tottering animated beef to vainly stare down the lens (with a fucking absurd and ungainly facial expression) in order to achieve a reasonable purveyance rate where a niche, artificial dairy product is concerned? Well, Laughing Cow probably had overbearing parents who essentially sculpted their child into becoming their own dreamy vision of a successful thespian, i.e. a frontcow for a long-running advertisement campaign and postercow for a disc-shaped lactose coffin. These delusions of grandeur are projected onto the calf, because it won't be long until the underlings of the abattoir instigate the death-prick beside the parents' fully formed heads. Narc abuse is no lahghing matter, but ironically and tragically, the two-dimensional cartoon inanity of annoyance appears to think so.

Whenever I talk about memorably awful mascots for brands of food nobody gives an eager handjob about there will be a variety of opinions. Please put those opinions and tharghts in the comments section. Interesting dialogue. As always, this is the concluding part of the video. Grateful for your observance.

Re: Matter of Fact Dr Grande
« Reply #29 on: June 30, 2020, 12:43:54 AM »
Can you cure my intense fear of Dr Grande, Dr Grande?

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