Matter of Fact Dr Grande

[DangledTeeth]

I have been making a video about your requested subject matter, bgmnts. It's currently in post-production and I'm going to release it soon... okay, it's ready.






Dr Grande. Yep, no title sequence again. Obviously this is a quick thing I've thrown together, but it's naht an analysis of some YouToob celeb who timidly cancels their own being that's somewhat interesting in terms of dramatics but naht actually about mennal insider health look tahpics - some might say she lost her stage surname ahfter the Twitter mahb pumped their emoji pitchforks into the air, right, 'marbles'. Ah-hah. You'll also notice that I'm speaking inside a green-screen void that's distinctly black. Now, this helps to keep things minimal and focused, right. Nothing else matters except my presence and the sound of my voice. You can call me Darktor Grande, uh-hah.

Today's question ahsks can I help a cahmedy forum user overcome their fear of myself? Well, the first step is admission to the prahblem. The prahblem is fear, right. So, the second step comes immediately ahfter the first step. Now, the second step is to delve deep into your memories to find the source of trauma or anything that was plainly scary to you. Maybe you were waiting for a bus with your earphones awn and were startled by a man with a tidy combover, glasses and chunky yet flat lips who approached and ahsked you how lawng you'd been waiting for the service to arrive. Maybe you stayed up late and watched a horror film while you were in a hypnagogic state once a terrifying antagonist - who resembled me - appeared awn your TV screen... Jason Vorhees, maybe? Or perhaps I remind you of Tim Robbins in Jacob's Ladder.

The third and final step is to confront your fear. And to some degree, you've already done this. Keep staring at me. Deep breaths. Inhale HUuUuUUAhHhH. Exhale. FfffFfUuUuoOoOH. Good... you're making prahgress. Ah-ah-ah! Stay looking at me. Don't deviate by looking at the floor. And stay focused. I'm naht going to cause you any harm. Dr Grande is your friend. I'm here to help. You're bound to feel a heightened and unsettling sense of your own existence when you're looking at me. This sensation is known as derealisation, okay. Don't attempt to fight it. Accept it and relax. There. Let it subside. Accept the kindness that's exuded from my upright position. Attentively listen to my calming voice. Release the fear from within. Imagine a summer vacation... you're strolling awn the sidewalk that's adjacent to a lovely beach, and you find a group of cats rolling across the ground, waving their paws at you. Ah-hee, it's cute, huh? From now awn, you'll associate me with harmless felines in the vicinity of millions of sand grains. Everything is tranquil.

Now I know whenever I'm providing an-tie fear therapy there will be a variety of opinions. Please shove your comments in the comments. I'll be sure to like the comments about my dry sense of humour and how amazingly insightful I am. As always, I say 'as always'. Thanks for watching.

[DangledTeeth]

Hello, this is Dr Grande - who else were you expecting?! Fuck the book stack title sequence, let's get into this.

Today's question ahsks can I analyse the BBC Newsnight interview with Prince Andrew. And another more loaded question: was Prince Andrew lying? Yes I can and shall ahnswer these questions. Just a reminder: Prince Andrew is a real individual, so I'm naht diagnosing the regal guy, only speculating about what could be happening in a situation like this. If you enjoy this content, please like this video and please-please-please-pleeEeEEeEAaAaSsSseee subscribe to my channel. And consider supporting me on Patreon - I'll put a link to that in the description for this video and the exclamation point icahn near the top-right corner. Consider means 'thinking about', it doesn't necessarily mean you have to dig into your virtual wahllet - but fucking do it or else I'll mhrdhr you in your sleep.

So, we see Andrew discuss his friendship with Jeffrey Epstein, who was an egregiously naughty, immoral man and billionaire, and he died in mysterious circumstances while in custody for sex trafficking, in August twenty nineteen. The official explanation is Epstein 'ended his own life', but I'll bet that David Icke has a theory that the Lizard People whisked Epstein awnboard their spacecrahft and took him to their Illuminati headquarters located awn an undiscovered planet, uh-hah. The interview essentially had two parts: Prince Andrew explaining his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, and denying an accusation by one of Epstein's victims known as Virginia Rahberts, now her surname is Goochfriend or something.

During the interview, Prince Andrew had some unusual mannerisms, such as frowning like a cartoon villain; shaking his head rigidly; sighing through gritted teeth, and uttered a number of disfluencies. But who knows, maybe that's the typical demeanour and outward behaviour of rich motherfuckers. He seemed to have a shitty memory, to put it technically, claiming he had no recollection of many key events. And came out with some silly bullshit about why he could not be guilty of any wrawngdoing. I'll break down some key parts of this interview.

Awn the (not mennal health) tahpic of his friendship with Jeffrey Epstein, there are a number of statements that don't seem to be congruent. He indicated that Epstein was a friend and stayed at different locations with him around the world, but he said he didn't know Epstein well. Prince Andrew didn't ever say he regretted being friends with a deceased beast. Andrew said Epstein surrounded himself with 'amazing people' and that gave Andrew incredible opportoonities. Now, Andrew doesn't understand how shifty that statement makes him sound, right. In Andrew's many encounters with Epstein, he never saw anything criminal or underhanded going awn. When ahsked about the many young females at Epstein's prahperties, Andrew denied he first saw them but then later noted he saw them 'as staff'. He never had any meaningful conversations with them.

In May twenty oh six, Epstein was charged with crimes of a sexual nature. Yet in July of that same year he was invited to Windsor Cahstle. Andrew said he knew 'categorically fucking zilcho' about his former pal's pahst deviancy and that's why Epstein was invited. Andrew said he ceased contact with Epstein from twenny oh six to two thousand ten. That's a really long period of time to stop watching a sci-fi movie, uh-hah.

But then Andrew had the difficult tahsk in trying to explain why they were seen together in December of 2010 and spending four days with him. Andrew said that he wasn't wearing his suit that day, therefore it was a casual engagement and it wasn't in London. Andrew said that he decided to meet Epstein with the sole purpose of telling him that they can't be seen together. So, he created an opportoonity to meet with Epstein to say they cahn't be seen together again because Epstein is a questionable character whose behaviour is quite 'unbecoming', but the guy who took the photo of them together has seen them alongside each other in orhrder to have taken a photo which depicts the pair conversing with each other together. Complete retards. Andrew tried to justify the meeting by claiming that telephones ''are for chickens''. Chickens are the least of his worries, right, unless it was part of a pesto pizza - I'll come back to this item later awn in this video.

The interviewer Emily Mattress brought it to Andrew's notice that he was at a four-day house party. Andrew said that was 'a stark way of putting it'. What he was meant to say was ''this has nothing to do with Ironman''. And Andrew noted that Epstein's residence was 'convenient' - I bet he's rethinking that now. But more suspiciously, Andrew once stayed with Epstein in Manhattan, so, the convenient thing about being in that district is the array of ahptions for accommodation, which makes me wonder why Andrew didn't just book into a hotel in that area.

The second hahf of the video was centered awn the accusations by Virginia Rahberts. But before I get into that, let's looking at the origins of the friendship. Epstein became a friend of the Prince in 1999 (naht to be confused with Prince's album 1999) once Andrew was introduced to Epstein through Epstein's associate Ghislaine Maxwell. Andrew wasn't sure if Jeffrey Epstein was a good friend or just plainly a friend, so... we see uncertainty and mind-changing exhibited here with a complete lack of conviction in his statements, unlike his friend Jeffrey Epstein who had plenty of convictions, uh-hah.

As for more instances of Andrew's selective memory prahblems, he claims that he's naht a party guy, although there are several photograhphs of him in company with a lively group of people and he has a cheerful and distracted expression in most of them.

Andrew acknowledged the existence of a photograhph depicting himself with his arm around the aforementioned woman called Virginia Rahberts, who was seventeen years old at the time in two thousand one. Rahberts has accused Prince Andrew of having had sex with him three times. Andrew identifies himself in the photograhph yet cannot explain the cahntext behind the snap and attempts to detract suspicion by stating that he'd never seen Epstein with a camera, and Andrew said that he's not quite dressed for the occasion because he usually wears a suit and tie in London - and that photo was taken in London. Maybe Andrew removed the blazer and removed the tie in order to feel comfortable, right. It's been said that the location was Maxwell's house, so maybe Andrew went around there for a cahffee, uh-hah. He also said he never engaged in public displays of affection, but what's public about the interior of a penthouse in Belgravia?! And he never went upstairs in Maxwell's residence. So he'd been with Maxwell before but not upstairs.

Andrew came up with ahdd reasons for why he couldn't have had sex with Virginia Rahberts. She claimed that he sweated profusely, but he refuted this by saying he lost his ability to secrete sweat ahfter an Argentinian man - during the Falklands War - shot his sweat gland with a pistol. Virginia also said he was apprahximately four inches on the stiff. Andrew counteracted this accusation by saying ''there's twelve inches to a ruler, and let me tell you, one ruler ain't enough to measure my manhood''. Virginia also said they had drinks at a bar, but Andrew didn't know where that bar was - maybe he drank too many scotches that night to the degree of affecting his memory, uh-hah.

One interesting element of this whole interview was his alibi centered awn his daughter Beatrice's birthday in 2001. Andrew recalls the time his daughter had a birthday celebration in a Pizza Express restaurant in Woking, an area he's said to have been to a handful of times. And he said he was later at home and therefore couldn't have had sex with Virginia Rahberts Goochfriend. Now, I suppose Andrew would remember his daughter's birthday and it taking place in a lower-middle clahss restaurant, because someone of his stature and wealth would annually reserve a table for ahfternoon tea at The Ritz with an evening dinner at Le Colombier in Chelsea.

Quite extraordinarily, Andrew seems to have difficulty remembering if he had sex in a place called Tramps - quite an irahnic name for a posh establishment. I mean, what else? Guttersnipes cocktail bar? Vagrants ala carte steak house? No-hoping Cunts wine bar? Well, if I did the old push-and-shove with a lady in a swanky hotel or wherever, I'd surely and vividly remember the event. Now, I'm cahnfident Andrew would remember giving her a bit of his meat feast if she had anything to say about his cheese, right, uh-hah. I mean, I do relatively well for money yet I'm naht part of the rich elite, but even I remember my first bang behind a dumpster at the age of nineteen. If I can pluck out an unflattering memory from my mind, I'm sure Andrew can fondly remember pumping away in a respectable environment. Maybe he's done this so many times he genuinely cahn't remember salient details about the locations of all the women he's supposedly fucked.

Body language scrutiny is usually overestimated. The best way to detect guilt is if credible evidence decimates his claims or he contradicts himself from an earlier statement. It's as though he's throwing out all these pahsssiblities and hoping someone will latch awn to them. ''Oh, some ruddy Spanishy chap shot me in the buttocks and now my skin can't weep'' and ''I never ascended the stairs of Maxwell's abode. I'm innocent, mate''. He also doesn't understand what a nahsty piece of shit Epstein was. There is no empathy for the victims. It's like Andrew just wants to distance himself from the situation and he hasn't vehemently denied the accusations, nor has he used any evidence to back up his assertions.

I have no fucking clue as to why Andrew did this interview in the first place. It made him look guilty and like he was out of his depth. The interview boils down to 'I remember fuck-all except for Pizza Express in Woking' and 'look elsewhere if you want someone to blame'. Amazingly, as I understand it, Andrew thought he did a good jahb and was quite satisfied with his performance If by 'good jarb' he means being seated and looking distinctly uncomfortable for most of the interview, then yes, he certainly did a good jarb. If by 'satisfied with his performance' he's alluding to post-interview coitus at a bar that he can't remember the name of or in the toilets of a Pizza Express, then I cahn't make any judgement here.

Now I know that whenever I talk about scrote-necked royals there will be a variety of opinions. Please put any tharghts and opinions in the cahmments
section. Conclusion. Grateful.

[DangledTeeth]

Hello, this is Dr Grande (or should that be Dadctor Grande?). Today's question ahsks can I analyse the personality profile of your mom? Well, I can certainly anal-lyse her, that's for sure. In fact, I did... last night while you were asleep. That squeaking sound wasn't a mouse, but I'm glad the mattress was robust enough to supporhrt her fat ass. And speaking of 'support', please like this video and subscribe to my channel if you're naht offended and please consider supporting me on Patreon - I'll put a link to that in the description for this video. Your mom, however, can be seen depicted in a very risque video via another link, i.e. she's a cock-gobbling slut... and so's your dad, uh-hah, but I won't get it that one; but I did get into your mom, yes, on several occasions.

Now, your mom appears to display traits of OCD, which stands for Obsessed with Cocks Disorder (exclusively my one). To correctly diagnose any mental disorhrders, one needs to consider the criteria for each personality disorder or mental illness and see if their behavyur aligns with the criteria. The criteria for Obsessed with Cock Disorder are: has a predilection for performing fellatio awn a phallus; admires penises; grandiosely declares a fondness for cocks; writes about the prahperties of ding-dongs, for example in a diary or digitally; preoccupied with tharghts about Johnsons. And finally, your mom. Any cahmbination of two out six of the criteria are enough to make an accurate diagnosis. OCD can be prahblematic in terms of maintaining cahncentration awn specific tahsks, although this works to my advantage because your mom loves me, right.

She also displays elements of psycockpathy in her conduct, where she lacks empathy forhr the relatives of those she has a sexual relationship with. She's callous, manipulative and impulsive about how she'll gain an opportoonity to enjoy a rock-hard member, and she shows no remorse for the shame she has inflicted awn her family's reputation.

A lot of my subscribers love my dry sense of humour, stoic delivery and etc. So, I'm going to include a few Grande quips and jokes here. A question: what does myself and your mom have in cahmmon? Sex. Uh-hah. Your mom is so stoopid she thinks she's fat. Actually, she isn't stoopid, she appears to suffer from bahdy dysmorphia, which isn't a funny condition. Your mom's so boring, I'd prefer to watch Shane Dawson videos. Every time your mom turns around it's my birthday. I saw your mom in the DSM-5... naht the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorhrders edition five. I'm referring to Dirty Skank Magazine issue five. You get the idea. Your mom!!

Now, I know that whenever I talk about controversial subjects, like your mom's rancid breath emanating from her ass which is difficult to differentiate from her mouth as she usually talks a load of shit out of it when she's not sucking my cock, there will be a variety of angry opinions. Please put your mom in the cahmments section - I'm sure to give her an interesting dialogue. Only this once, I hope you found this video to be intahlerable. Thanks for watching me fuck your mom.

[DangledTeeth]

Hello.................. this is Goctor Drande. Today's question ahsks can I analyse the mental health and personality characteristics of Luka Magnotta? Why, yes I can. Luka's locked up in Canada. SPOILER ALERT!!!! Oh... too late. Just a reminder: I'm naht diagnosing anybody in this video (that'll be Luka), only speculating about what could be happening in a situation that's been concluded.

If you like this video, please *squints at out-of-view monitor* annihilate that bell icarn so you don't miss another episode of Dr Grande's world-famous analyses with a dash of dry humour. And if you like morose tahpics about the darker aspects of mental health that are too sensitive to upload on YouToob, consider supporting me awn Patreon. *Raises eyebrows and tips head backwards* I'll put a link to that in the description of this video.

So firstly, I'm going to go through a timeline of Luka's crimes and then figure out what's wrong with this cunt. Let's start with his background and the crime he committed. Luka Rocco Magnotta, born Eric Clinton Kirk Newman awn July 24 1982, specifically in Scar-boe-ruff... oh! Scarborough, Ontario. He is - plot twist - a Canadian murderer who was convicted of killing and dismembering Chinese international student Jun Lin before mailing Lin's hands and feet to elementary schools and federal political party offices - most people would send their children to school completely unharmed, right. Somehow, I think Luka approached this in the wrong way.

Luka's parents were married at a young age just before Luka was born. Luka's father was 17 years old, and his mother was 16 years old. His parents didn't have a laht of money to rub between their ass cheeks. Luka described his mom as being 'clean' and reportedly had an obsession with running water and lathered hands - this is a classic symptom of OCD. Luka's mom, quite understandably, was rahther incensed over Luka's frequent bed-wetting, which of course is a sign of psychopathy as well as pissed sheets. He described his mother as a prodigious bitch who went ape-shit with the Cussons soap. He also had an aversion towards routinely scrubbing his nocturnal damp patches. Luka also described his father as being a drunken old asswich who suffered from schizophrenia.

Luka was placed into special education ahfter he wet the bed with terrifying efficiency at a boarding school. Luka, fortunately, had no slumber slab to expel his fishy water awn. He was also shit at reading and math. The other kids mocked his butt off for being 'shy', for being 'gaaaay' and for whizzing in his sleep while wearing Target clothing. He dropped out of the eleventh grade at the age of seventeen - no mattresses were splashed with his hose of urine during this time.

He had low-level jarbs which only lasted weeks or months before he was fired. He once worked in a furniture storhre which specialised in selling beds, wardrobes and cabinets. Luka demonstrated how wetting the bed can diminish the quality of the cahtton sheets and that it can stain the outer layer of the mattress by allowing his spuds to release an untimely streak of number one. The manager of the storhre fired Luka awn the spot but kind of regretted it because Luka no longer had the duty of replacing the mattress with one that was utterly dry and devoid of Luka's liquid.

In 2001, he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. I mean, if I had to run a storhre where an imbecilic low-life got his cahck out and sprayed over my wares I'd prahbably have auditory and visual hallucinations, too. Ah-hah. No, I'm just joking, Luka was diagnosed with schizophrenia.

Sometime in his early twenties, Luka started working as a whore. It's reported he fucked around six people per day, although one client complained of a sticky mattress that smelled distinctly of prawn cocktail chips. And in 2004, Luka became friends with someone who had an intellectual disability, i.e. what we in the mennal health profession refer to as a 'fucking retard'. Luka manipulated her into applying for credit cards, and he racked up a whooping bill of $10,000. He supposedly purchased a wide range of mattresses. Most people's memory foam mattresses have run-of-the-mill indentations; the only thing Luka's mattresses 'remember' is being entirely drenched in piss.

Luka was charged with three counts of fraud, vandalising private prahperty combined with lewd behaviour - no prizes for guessing that Luka pissed all over a poor sap's bed. In 2005, he served sixteen days in jail, although he was released a laht earlier as the prison system couldn't afford to clean or pay out for new mattresses. He did community service and was put on probation for twelve months.

The court supposedly knew Luka wasn't right in the skull gum, and they knew all about his nocturnal emissions of a stinky nature. They told him: ''Take your medication, ayy. So take it s l o w l y, brother. Go home, go home''.

He develops an interest in joining the police, specifically the deparhrtment which investigates homicides. It's interesting because bed-wetting, lunatic serial killers always have an interest in joining law enforcement. On an unrelated note, he became interested in making Ahdult movies. Luka set up thousands of social media accounts in orderhr to start a rumour that he was dating a notorious mhrderhr named Carla Homolka, but he sy-multaneously denied that he was dating her... and he announced that he wet his bed.

In 2007, we see that he filed for bankruptcy. He said he had no jarb and was sick of using a hairdryer to toast his soggy mahnolith of snooze. He also auditions for a reality show called 'Cover Guy'. Let's just hope for the sake of this story that Luka doesn't shoot his digestion molecules over a bed cover. He tells the judges that people opine how murderously good-looking he is, and that he's a champion of yodelling out of his urethra awn his nap cushion. They reject him, but in February 2008 he comes *cough* before judges of another reality show and informs them of his hair trahnsplant, nose jarb and unrivalled propensity for wetting the bed at breakneck speed, and he told them he wanted to get muscle implahnts in his ass. I think implahnting an aid into his prostate would've been a better desire given the circumstances.

In 2008, Luka tried to attract as much attention as he pahssibly could. He posted more rumours and denied them. He kept trying to get a Wikipedia page started about himself, but there were strict rules against a lack of citations regarding his ritualistic bed-wetting behavyur. And Luka becomes a travel companion for a 70-year-old Toronto man. They travelled to Italy, Russia and Frahnce. Luka got into trouble with the authorities ahfter a hotelier was pissed off at Luka for deluging a mattress with piss. Luka reportedly didn't understand that 'oui' is French for 'yes' as opposed to a command for doing your toiletry.

In 2010, Luka resorts to posting discourteous messages and horrifying videos in a desperate attempt to attract attention. His Diet Coke and Mentos featuring an apple juice-tinted mattress didn't go viral, much to Luka's annoyance. In December, the motherfucker posted a video where he kills two kittens near a pissed-awn mattress. The videos were soon taken down but people wanted to track down Luka as opposed to his rectangle of micturition. A Facebook group was organised by about 4,000 members in orderhr to track down Luka and his out-of-control member.

In 2011, a more focused group were hot on the trail of the Beaumont Beds-bothering Bastard. They figured out he was likely in Toronto. The Toronto police started an official investigation into the drippy-dick nutjarb. Towards the end of the year, Luca posts more disgusting videos thereby pissing more people off than the mattresses he pissed awn. He also threatened a newspaper in London - yes, really. This doesn't surprise me, as it's quite cahmmon for mentally disturbed individuals to have an argument with the mirror, right. Ah-hah. He was livid over their story about the killer.

In 2012, the online sleuths figured out that Luka may be in Montreal. Tabernacle! They compared a street depicted awn Google Street View to one of the pictures he was in. In May 24, Luca mhrdhrrs Concordia University... student June Lin. The next day he posted a video featuring that mhrdhr. He dismembered the bahdy and had an almighty slash over them as they were enscahnced awn a mattress before mailing them to various locations. Awn May 30, police named Luka a suspect in the mhrdhr. Awn June 3 2012, Luka is spotted in Paris; he's arrested the next day in Berlin. I'm not sure why he went to Berlin. I suppose he wrongly thought their defecation fetish involved urine, right. He was in an internet cafe, looking at stories about his deadly misdeeds and bed-wetting escapades.

He was extradited to Canada and plead guilty to being a piss-happy insanity machine. He was found guilty and sentenced to life in prison with the pahssibility of parole ahfter 25 years. I imagine he spends his time designing a course awn 'how naht to be a clinically mental merchant of piss'. He didn't impress a laht of people with his puddled mattresses of cahck vinegar. A Netflix special damaged his reputation, but the daffy bahstard is in jail so who the fuck cares what his Metacritic and Rahtten Tomaytoes rating is?!

So what are the mental health and personality factors here? Well, he's been diagnosed with schizophrenia and frequently dispenses piss across the underside of his duvet, so that makes speculation easier. In my expert opinion based on my colossal mental-health erudition I believe Luka Magnotta is ffffucking madder than a box of irate termites.

Now I know that whenever I talk about a sack-soaking fruitcake who looks like he should remind you of famous people yet you cannot think of any, there will be a variety of opinions. Opinions and tharghts are entirely different, so be sure to put them in the cahmments section - they are sure to generate an interesting dialogie. As always, I hope you found this analysis to be interes-


Outtakes

Psychotic people read newspapers, so it comes as no surprise that they sometimes look at the sun.

Luka Magnotta is an incorrigible shitpipe, uh-hah-hah.

I'll put a link to PornHub in the description of this video.

Some people go awn YouToob and watch videos of guitar maestro MattRach. Luka, however, uploads videos of himself arcing piss over his mattress!!

[DangledTeeth]

Hi, this is Dee Ar Grarnday. Welcome to my channel hosting a huge range of videos pertaining to mental health supervision, counselling, appraisal annnnd some-shit-to-do-with-Excel. I say 'hi' instead of 'hello' in the past (which is happening right now). I've uploaded this video in 2017 in my clinician ahffice. I hope my telephone doesn't ring. But what am I saying?! I could edit any unnecessary parts out ahfter I've stopped recorhrding. But if I were to do that, there'd be no video for you to watch, uh-hah. Self-deprecation. Doesn't quite worhrk. Well, it is 2017 and I've yet to perfect my trademark dry humour which my subscribers love. I stoically deliver quips thereby 'throwing shade' awn tiresome, vacuous individuals of YouToob fame.

Today's video is a role-play exercise of a relatively rare mental disorderhr called Doppelganger Hallucination Disorderhr. What is DHD? Well, research into the causes of the rahther disconcerting experience this disorderhr offers is quite limited as of now, but the disorderhr is a distinctive visual and auditory hallucination based awn yourself. The criteria for diagnosis are: the sufferer believes they are talking to their being; they seem intensely focused awn an entity that's naht visible to the second-party observer; existentialist questions are commonly aimed at themselves.

I'm going to accurately demonstrate what a delusional DHD episode appears like. If you find this video to be insightful and useful, please like it and subscribe to my channel. As always, thank you for watching.




Dr Grande: Hello there, myself.

DoppelGrande: Hello me.

Dr Grande: How are we today?

DoppelGrande: I'm doing great. How about myself?

Dr Grande: Alright. So, what can we say about myselves?

DoppelGrande: I don't know, but you look awfully familiar. Have I seen myself somewhere?

Dr Grande: Prahbably our reflection in the miihr.

DoppelGrande: Our?! I mean to say we're the same?

Dr Grande: Well, yeah... I'm essentially twins here, talking to myself.

DoppelGrande: That sounds like grandiose narcissism to me.

Dr Grande: Ah-hah, I would know. And so do we.

DoppelGrande: I don't get it!?

Dr Grande: Of course you don't, I'm not following me.

DoppelGrande: This is becoming somewhat hard to keep up with.

Dr Grande: Yes, we suppose so.

DoppelGrande: If I'm we and you are I, we share the same memories, right?

Dr Grande: ...okay.

DoppelGrande: Alright, I'll see our next client and show all your 'lunchbreak session search history' on the computer mahnitor.

Dr Grande: Sigh! Don't be absurd.

DoppelGrande: How is that absurd?

Dr Grande: I both know that we use incognito mode.

DoppelGrande: Ah-hah-hah!! I certainly know ourselves well.

Dr Grande: Why am I here?

DoppelGrande: Do you mean me me or you you?

Dr Grande: Erm... the former.

DoppelGrande: I'm drunk to the tits, buddy.

Dr Grande: Shit!!!! I can't be inebriated at work. What are I going to do?

DoppelGrande: Breath mint?

Dr Grande: You know that both of me don't have breath mints awn us.

DoppelGrande: Good point. Not to worry, it's not we who are drunk it's simply myself.

Dr Grande: Oh, of course. Phew! I had me worried there for a second.

DoppelGrande: And now we arrive at the conclusion of this video.

Dr Grande: Excuse ourselves! I'm Dr Grande, you're a projection of my mind. I'll put an end to this cahntent.

DoppelGrande: You know we better than yourself. As you were...

Dr Grande: You've reached the conclusion to this video. Thanks for watching and don't forget to subscribe, you sorry-ass cunts.

DoppelGrande: Hey!! That's naht very friendly.

Dr Grande: If anyone complains about the closing sequence, I'll say I did it.

DoppellGrande: You mean me?

Dr Grande: Erm, yes.

[DangledTeeth]

Hello, this is Dr Grande. Today's question ahsks can I analyse the frankly insane yet outrageously funny behaveyur of Vincent Stoowart, otherwise known as The Spirit of Truth and Reverend X. Just a reminder so I don't get in trouble on a professional level: Vincent Stoowart is a real person, so I'm naht diagnosing him or any of the telephone callers to his public-access shows, only speculating awn what could be happening in a situation like this.

If you like the educational tone of this video and you think that it's helped you improve your knowledge on this specific subject, please like it and subscribe to my channel. Please consider supporting me on Patreon - I'll put a link to the premium cahntent in the description for this video.

Vincent Stoowart was a televangelist who appeared awn public-access television in the late 90s, but his show ceased production once he lowered his pants thereby revealing his Holy buttocks - some might say he was taken off the air for talking out of his ass, uh-hah. Several videos of his appearances were uploaded to YouTube in 2007. He achieved a certain level of notoriety and consequently was interviewed over the phone for the Howard Stern Show, and he parodied himself in a sketch awn an episode of Tosh.O, where he later 'confesses' that his show was cancelled because: ''I mooned the camera one day''. So... this was during a period in time where he was quite lucid enough to speak with clarity. Unfortunately, since 2012 he appears to have relapsed - I'll come back to this item later awn in the video.

Vincent, during his public-access years, recorded his material in a respectable studio and utilised green screen effects for each of his videos. If you're interested in analysing his behavyurhr, may I suggest watching Episode 4 Part 1 of four parts for his incredible thigh-slapping nuttiness. The One Man Show for his incensed reactions towards callers of the show. And Spirit of Truth (The Sermon on the Mount) for his cripwalk dance. And be sure to watch The Manifesto for his best reading of the Survival Scrolls ahfter he reads from his miniature Bible: ''...all the nations were deceived. *To cameraman* Yeah, play the other side of that, err, tape right now *focuses on tiny Bible* And in her was found the blood of the prophet... and the saint's *sniffs* - where-was-I?! - says the lamp of a light shall not shine in-in Uncle Sam's ass no more, and the voice of the bridegroom and bride shall not be heard in you anymore, for your merchants were the great men of the - sorry. *To cameraman* Could you play the other side of that tape? That um, Biggie Smalls tape?''

He'd either read from his scriptures - the 'Survival Scrolls' - and/or would be aggressively dismissive towards callers to the show. Some people were ahbviously trying to irritate him while others sincerely questioned him yet made matters worhrse, quite hilariously. His scriptures were full of expletives, sounded quite blasphemous, and sometimes contained altered lyrics which were squashed in between the amusingly incoherent dialogue, from Gangstarr to The Beatles, Beck and Frank Sinatra (after a fist-shaking dance). His opening statement is: 'It's gonna be going on like Donkey Kong - 144,000 real strong!'. I take it that he's a deranged Jehovah's Witness or just plainly is a Jehovah's Witness, right, uh-hah. When Vincent read from his scriptures, he frequently referred to his viewers as 'motherfucker' and his callers were branded 'nincom-fucking-poops'.

According to a YouToob comment, in the late noughties Vincent was working as a chef at a school cafeteria, so perhaps he'd been awn his medication and had been mentally stabilised during that era. As I mentioned earlier, Vincent relapsed as made evident by his self-recorded videos which usually depicted himself lazing at his home with a Bible dictation app playing, pahp-lahcking in his backyard, and playing GTA5. In one of many videos around this time he was watching an animation of 'Kimba the White Lion' and then went by the alias 'Kimba' for a number of years or so, and since then he sometimes speaks in a light Caribbean accent. And a put-awn monotone chuckle also became a trademark utterance of his.




Vincent had two customised airbrushed t-shirhrts made. I remember a video where he started to record ahfter he was told to leave a church as a result of his provocative t-shirt. This more subtle t-shirht reads: ''GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! DAMN WORKERS OF INIQUITY. JESUS'S LAW''; he was dancing to a piano-loop hip-hahp instrumental while grasping a small glahss filled with Olde English. My assistant researcher Dan Gold-Teefe cannaht upload the crazy videos he downloaded (in case Vincent's channel was removed - which it was) as he's using an eleven-year-old Vista that doesn't allow updates for any web browser because of his outdated system, and YouToob urges him to update his browser before attempting to upload any material. Could he upload via a mobile device? Ah, it's too much work. But I'll provide concise descriptions of the hilarity...




Vincent is sat at home, wearing a spongy striped top-hat - he sure is Tha Cat in the Hat, uh-hah. He says 'ribbey' several times before singing the introduction to George of the Jungle followed by a hint of humming the Pink Panther theme. Vincent continues to ramble as his Bible app dictates verses. Towards the end, he locks his fingers in the 'devil horn' gesture, points it near his ear and blurts: ''Call me up, Heil Hitler. I'll meet you in a secret place. Ah-huah. Shh!''.

Another video is of a cheery and cahnfident Vincent recorhrding himself awn a dahncefloor of a club. Update: I found the video on a channel that didn't seem to exist anymore.




His backyard-based lunacy is really compelling. There are several variations but the funniest one is the landscape shart of his lawn and gahrarge, with Ice Cube - Growin' Up playing in the background (right before the Minnie Ripperton sample), and after about eight seconds of calm stillness we suddenly see Vincent charge towards the camera from our left, wearing turquoise shorts and black slippers while brandishing a plastic knife. He stomps his heels into the ground to halt his running and points the plastic knife at the lens then roars at the camera: ''THISSIZ UH STICK-UP! NOW BREAK YO' MOTHAFUCKIN' SELF!'' - I believe that's meant to be an audition tape for a McDahnald's commercial, uh-hah.

In July 26 2017, it appears Vincent visits a welfare ahffice and waits at the security zone. Here's a cahmical parhrt.  And two months prior he goes to the counter of a GameStarp and attempts to get a replacement for his 'mote control despite naht having a receipt. The whole exchange is brief but fucking funny.

The latest video which I've just watched is of Vincent's court date. According to his summons, he's supposed to have paid $280.00 for 'blocking the public entrance'. Here are the highlights: 1) ''I've read your penis code'' 2) ''Di goon squad!!'' 3) ''I hope this is not upside down'' 4) Guard: Why am I here talking to you?! Vincent: Uh... you never explained that. 5) '''Uh, 'course it's legal 'cause it's there'. That don't make it legal 'cause it's fucking there! That don't fucking make it legal 'cause it's there! It don't make yo' ass legal 'cause you say you're federal ma'fucking law enforcement - you're fraud enforcement agents! You're not fucking law enforcements'' 6) ''Don't touch me! You're not the boss here, motherfucking weirdo-ass fucks! 7) ''Trumped yoooou! BAH-AGH-UH-AGH!''

Whenever I analyse somebody I use the five factor mahdel which I remember through the acronym O.C.E.A.N - Openness to experience, Cahnscientiousness, Extroversion, Agreeableness, and Neurahticism. Vincent is highly open to experience as his videos clearly demonstrate. he's naht very cahnscientious in a sane manner. Extroversion? Definitely high range. Agreeableness? Very low. And his neurahticism is mid-range. I mean, he speaks very sternly at times, but he's not prone to being anxious and teary-eyed, although in one unsettling video I saw months ago (when I lahst looked) he appeared to be crying and intermittently did his false laughter. Update: here it is - ''Oh shit! DAAH! Penny for the fool, mothafucka! (Not you.) DAH-HAH-AH-AH!''.

What are the mental health factors here? Well, he believes he is God. His mantra is 'I walk in the name of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit'. His ahbjective isn't very clear in his TV appearances, but it seems he dislikes white supremacists and wants there to be unity and better educational facilities. In his personal recordings it appears he lives in a fragmented world and prattles away about abstract tahpics, and sometimes makes references to and watches videos about an Illuminati conspiracy. Interestingly, he makes reference to 'thorazine' which, by my understanding, is a drug administered to treat schizophrenic people. Vincent speaks in word salad, spends a considerable amount of time in his messy home with the curtains drawn like a dishevelled recluse; he has a delusional belief that he has an imporhrtant mission to fulfill - this relates to his repetitive and grandiose sermons on public access television, and Vincent believes he's a highly important character (in this case, God). These behaviours of his align with the criteria for schizophrenia. He could also be bi-polar with narcissistic features that's co-morbid with histrionic disorderhr.

Now I know whenever I talk about doolally gangstas there will be a variety of opinions. Please put yo' mothafuckin' bitch-ass comments in the comments section, dawg. They always generate an interesting dialogue. As always, I've been Dr Grande. Thanks for watching.

[DangledTeeth]

Hello, this is Dr Grande. Today's question ahsks: can I analyse the Mikhaila Peterson video/podcahst about her father Jordan 'Pervertson' Peterson? Just a reminder, I'm naht diagnosing either of them, only speculating about their video and its anecdotal exchange. If you found any educational insight in this video about a Canadian psychologist's melancholic tale, please like it and subscribe to my channel by haymaking the bell button and consider buying my sensitive videos awn Patreon - I'll put a link to my Patreon in the word section thingy underneath this moving sequence. Oh, that reminds me. I'll point this out now in case I forget: when Vincent Stoowart cries at home, he actually says ''Pity for the fool, motherfucker!'' instead of 'Penny'. And I forgaht to add this reading of the Survival Scrolls

Before I get into this subject and for those naht familiar with Jordnpetrsn, I'll bring you up to speed awn who he is and what he's done. Jordan Peterson is a world-renowned, controversial psychologist who's famous for his mega-selling book 12 Lubes for Wife - that was the original title, right. He revised his tome and called it 12 Rules for Life. I tharght it was a pretty good book, so... we see that Jordnpetrsn implores us to improve our pahsture, pursue what is important and naht what is expedient, and encourages us to tell the truth or - at least - don't lie. Those are excellent guidelines. So with this mind, I'll be hahnest and say that chapter 9 (the parhrt about listening to what the person is saying) was incredibly negative and weird. Jordan recalls a time when a client of his, 'Miss S', told him that she believes she'd been raped up to five times and seemed to have frequented bars. Now, Jordnpetrsn's reaction was a fairly neutral and nahne-judgemental one, right, because he had to attentively listen to Miss S as a way to uncover her inherent prahblem - and that's something we clinicians, psychiatrists and counsellors do, right. But he then told her (I'm naht quoting this verbatim) that there's no pahssible way to know it happened; it's all based on fragmentary viewpoints and there's no outside observer. I mean, what a thing to say. It's like he's trying to convey that he doesn't appreciate the story he's been told, so he'll think his way around it as though it's subjective. Peterson - yes, I'm referring to him by surname in a scolding way - mentions Valerie Solanas, the radical feminist, when he briefly wrote about Andy Warhol (who was shart by Solanas) and Peterson didn't write anything about the abuse she endured. Something tells me he doesn't care about criminally audacious women, but he'll give a shit if they're reckless men.




Jordnpetrsn, during his Pervertson era, displayed several ahdd behaviours. And when I say ahdd I'm directly referring to his adult-themed lectures and lewd behaveyur. He's inadvertently masturbated awn webcam when he tharght the feed had ended with Lauren Chen, much to her dismay (well, as inappropriate as it was, who can blame him, right? Uh-hah). He did a tahp ten sexiest female Disney characters countdown. He's ahsked Cathy Newman to show him her 'tits'. There are multiple misconducts by Jordnpetrsn which are too long to list... probably long like his cahck but that's naht something I want to consider.

His daughter and wife intervened in his out-of-control porn addiction and unusual, perverse behaveyur. Jordan was consequently sent to a rehab clinic in September two thousand nine, and he recovered by January two thousand twenty and has since released the bahx office behemoth called Jorker and has satisfied our intellect with interesting art and music critiques and scant praise, including webcam chats and panel appearances. I expect he has more in the pipeline.

But Jordnpetrsn tharght it was best to annihilate the chaos with a surfeit of sincerity by being very open about his addiction to fap fodder. Jordan spent time in Russia in awderhr to gain access to the best medical care in the world (or perhaps it was an excuse to go to the Solzhenitsyn and Dostoevsky museums, uh-hah). He was initially prescribed two file-hosting links for the week which was a folder containing video clips of topless Japanese women, but the dosage prescribed would become deadly ahfter a month as people can become dependent awn pornahgraphy and end up whacking their chopper or strumming their salmon-tinted edamame until they expire of exhaustion. Jordan's addiction to pornos became so terrible he purchased the entire archive of Brazzers as a way to cope with the anxiety and worry caused by Tammy Peterson's illness. Tammy thankfully recovered but Jordan became sick himself. And thankfully for the downtown 7/11, sales of Kleenex and Vaseline went through the roof.

When I evaluate people I use the five factor mahwdel which I remember through the acronym O.C.E.A.N. - Openness to Experience, Cahnscientiousness, Extroversion, Agreeableness, and Neurahticism (it was 'erahticism' in his case, uh-hah). Jordnpetrsn is high in openness to experience through his university and public lectures to appearances awn television - I believe he's tried psychedelic substances, too. How cahnscientious is he? I'd give him a high scorhre on that factor, as he's always complaining about the bloody postmodern neo-Marxists, equality of outcome, radical feminists and speaks highly of Carl Jung and Nietzsche. Extroversion? Well, again, he's a lecturer and television mouthpiece, so he's certainly not a shy introverhrt. Is he agreeable? Yes, he is. He once said in his GQ interview that he's no fan of conflict, and he used this to bolster the reason behind why he's a clinician. Neurahtic? Yes, he's moderately neurahtic. He's been teary-eyed on several occasions, which I believe is synahnymous with his pahst depression.

Now I know whenever I talk about Jordan Peterson there will be a variety of opinions - some of you will say he's helped people understand themselves, and others will assert that he's a pseudo-intellectual quack. Please put your tharghts and opinions in the cahmments section, they always generate an interesting dialogue. As interesting, I hope you found my analysis to be always. Thanks for watching.

And before I end the video I'd like to announce that I have a new range of wares awn my awnline merch storhre  - I'll put a plug-in selection in the description for this video. I have t-shirhrts, a totebag and a supply of David Icke & The Lizard People mugs - you can sure have a cup of Illuminatea in one of those, uh-hah. And hey, don't tell David Icke about this or else he and his followers will believe my merch money is funding shape-shifting pedderfile royal globalist bankers.

[DangledTeeth]

Hello, this is Dr Grande of two thousand eighteen. Here I am in front of a white background and with a shrinking zit on my cheek. I started to use the book stack intro sequence around this time, but I predict that in apprahxmiately two years' time I'll starp using it and have rotating lines glide across the screen as my name materialises in its pahth - it's minimal and does its jarb. My subscribers already know this is about scientifically-informed insider look mental health tahpics so I see no point in repeating it in the near future, right.

Today's question is: can a full Moon affect human behaviour? It's a theory I've heard many times, and to be honest with you all, I'm getting tired to the nipples of this inescapable question. But can I regale you with educational insight information about astronomy? Well, I'm an experhrht in mental health, so, I'm naht a moonologist or anything similar, but I have found the best sources I could find via Google and then presented them here. Oh, and just a reminder: the Moon is a real... thing, so I'm naht diagnosing the celestial golf ball, only speculating awn its effectiveness at influencing people in some form.




The Moon, as we know and see it, is many miles away from us. So... that's rahther far away, right. Now, it's believed that 80% of nurses, 70% of mental-health clinicians and 50% of people believe a full moon affects human behaveyur. And there are many areas that this belief can be affected...







...it can make people prahp a Bible awn tahp of a shoebahx which has two loose laces underneath. It can make people shovel up strawberry jam with a small spade, and cause people to believe their ears have dropped off. It's believed to have increased the number of a nude people lying awn a vibrating bed. And an increase in a number of traffic accidents, but that could be because it's nightime with naht as much visibility to show the prahminence of surroundings, right.

But is it true? Can a full moon (which is a phase of the moon) really have that kind of effect awn human behaviour? Well, to understand this theory, we have to understand what the hovering golf ball of elliptical tedium does in terms of where it goes. So first, gravity science...






The Moon shoots out gravity waves, represented clearly as numerous arrows. These are said to have an effect on the tide, so does this have an effect on humans in a special way because human beings are mostly water at around 80%? Well, let's take a look at the way the Moon orbits the Earth.

As you'll see in the animated illustration, there are two types of distances. Now, when the moon is closest to the Earth it's called 'Kinda far', and when it's farthest away it's called 'Very far'. The phases like full moon and noo moon do naht correspond to the kinda far and very far. So when the Moon's exerting the most gravitational force on a person, that's naht necessarily related to a phase of the Moon. Another important parhrt here to understand in the cahntext of the spherical rahck going around and around is to understand how much gravitational force the Moon, whether it's kinda far or very far or in between, is actually exerting on a perhrson. 







And to understand this, we have to understand the cahncept of an Isaac Newton. Now, an Isaac Newton is a measure of forhrce, and this mathematical gibbershit at the left of me means one metre per second. And the understated dude is: en equals period twenty-two. Now, the amount of force the Earth exerts is ffffucking nine hundred & fifty Isaac Newtons. But the amount of the Moon's exertion is: equals period zero zero fourhr Isaac Newtons. It's extremely small. And again, the Moon doesn't line up with the distance. It tells us nothing of value. So if that insignificant amount of gravitational force could affect human behaveyur - which is a big fucking if - it's naht tied to the face of the Moon.

Now, there is some evidence that there's a relationship between the full moon and some animal behaveyur. And in terms of human beings, there is some evidence that the Moon can have a very small effect on sleep at less than 1% based awn the amount of so many snoozes, which would be subject to chance based awn the Moon bahstard.

What are the mental health and personality factors herhre? Whenever I evaluate somebody I use the five-factor mahdel which I remember through the acronym O.C.E.A.N. It could stand for 'Obese Cunts Eat All Night' or 'Oatmeal Cookie Eclipses Alysha Newman'. But no, none of those are correct. O.C.E.A.N. stands for: Openness (to experience), Cahnscientiousness, Extroversion, Agreeableness, and Neurahticism. Is the Moon open to experience? Well, a select few humans have made physical cahntact with it, so I'll give a lightly low scorhre here. Cahnscientious? Erm... no. It doesn't have a brain. Is it extroverted? It has no voice, therefore it's actually introverted or plainly mute. Has the Moon been agreeable? It hasn't. The Moon had no prahblem with astronauts, but that's because it has no brain or voice. The Moon being neurahtic, is that likely? No. It cahn't happen. Overall, the Moon is a near-perfect representation of a sane and endearing individual.

So we could say the gravitational effect of the Moon is inconsequential balderdash. The full moon is negligible, maybe, because it bounces off the sunlight, there could be some effect there, but... not worth fucking around with. So if the Moon is naht fully affecting human behaveyur - which it doesn't appear to be in any meaningful way - why do so many idiots believe in this shitbull about the Moon's so-called influence? Well, the ahnswer is in the question: it's shitbull, and intellectually-challenged troglodytes lap this superstitious idiocy up like a dog in front of a bowl full of Blackwood, because the Moon transmits idiot waves to the nearest void noggin. I'm just joking. But seriously, some people believe in this crap.

This belief goes back a long way... to 1992, the year of the macabre fighting game called Mortal Kombat, specifically the segment where the Reptile guy appears at intervals and instructs the player to ''look at la luna'', and this goes back to the Latin word 'Lunacy' which, coincidentally, is the same word for 'lunacy' in English.

Does the Moon appear to affect human behaveyur in any meaningful way? Of course fucking naht. Does this surprise you? If it does or does naht, please leave your opinion in the cahmments section, I'm sure it will generate an interesting dialogue. I've been Dr Grande of my Dr Grande YouToob channel. As always, I hope you found my lesson about the Moon to be interesting. Thanks for watching.

[DangledTeeth]

Hello, this is Dr Grande. At precisely 23 hundred hours and 46 minutes awn 20 July 2020, I reached FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND SUBSCRIBERS, and by the time I upload this video it'll go beyond that. I hope I don't get 500k - I mean not anytime soon, as I'll have to hurriedly produce another video celebrating yet another milestone about something entirely different. Thank you so much. It's great that people find interest and educational value in my videos. To celebrate, I'm going to ahnswer today's question which ahsks: what are your favourite TV shows? Just a reminder *knowing smirk*, the ten TV shows I'm going to list feature real people acting as fictional characters, so I'm naht diagnosing anybody, only telling you what are my favourite television programmes.

Speaking of ten, I haven't watched a laht of television in a decade, so most of what I'll list largely won't be anything current. At number ten is Tots TV. Now, I saw this delightful puppet show when I was awn vacation in the United Kingdom. I saw it when I stayed at a hotel. The characterisation is excellent, and the narrative is completely spellbinding. One of the characters speaks in French, which added a lightly unusual slant to a tharght-provoking series.

My ninth choice is What a Cartoon! from the Cartoon Network... network. It was a series that promoted new cartoons, some of which went awn to have their own successful series.

Number eight has to be Dallas. What can I say about my love of Dallas? Well, to be hahnest, I've never watched a single episode. But I still love it, mind.

Seven? It'll have to be the Adult Freeview Channel (and don't forget to subscribe to mine... erm, channel, naht a porn film). Now, you're prahbably wondering why a married academic (with a son) is wasting his intellect on such sordid filth? Well, I cahn't speak for everyone, right, but I'm sure this has happened to many people: the batteries in my remote were almost depleted of energy which caused a delay in my button input, so after impatiently pressing the buttons several times, the channels rapidly yet suddenly cycled through and just so happened to have stahpped at the uhdolt section. The freeviews start at 11pm and end at 4am (naht that I know any of this) and it wasn't Thursday, so that meant it wasn't the gay freeview night (again, I have no knahledge of this, I'm only guessing) and my pant's jaw drahpped and, well, I was enthralled by the fleeting array of beautiful women and their silicone breasts combined with brief scenes of suggestive penetrative sex. The interesting aspect about the freeviews is they vary quite regularly in their stimulating cahntent... erm, well, ahem, I imagine they do.

At number six awn the list is Family Guy. Some might say it's a tiresome rip-off of The Simpsons (plus a talking tahddler and dog), but I love its brash cahnfidence and remember-this and what-if scenes. Emerald comedy!

Neighbours is my fifth choice. G'day maite. Harold Shipman... Paul Robinson... Alf Stewart - classic characters. It's a compelling, albeit fictional, look into Australian life. It's strange because most of the architecture and weather is similar to here in the yoo es of ay, except they all speak in an exotic London accent. Uh-hah.

Jersey Shore is my fourth favourite awn this list. I really like the tall oompa-loompa guys and their gelled bouncy hair and how they interact with the orange women. One can derive a multitude of historical references from this remarkable programme. I urge you all to wahtch a bahxset or similar.

Three? It can only be Kenan and Kel. ''K-K-K-Kel fucking loves orange soda. Mhm-hmMM! Ah-do-ah-do-ah-do-ah-do-ah-DO-OO!'' and then Kenan ahsks: ''Is it true?'' to which Kel responds: ''Whhhhy, yes, it is.''. At least that's how I remember it. Those two guys crack me up.

Two comes right ahfter firhrst. Actually, it does naht. But in at number two is Take Me Out. I was introduced to this programme by Recovery Mum, whom I've had lengthy cahnversations with awn YouToob. It's presented by a guy called Paddy McGuinness. A curve of mostly garish women stand at podiums as they hoot and woot over an audacious, overly cahnfident guy who does his best to win over at least one woman in orderhr to go on a televised date with her. The narcissism in this programme is like a treasure trove. I fucking love it.

And here we arrive at the end of the list. Number one: Dr Phil. It's an admittedly controversial show. Dr Phil is no longer a licensed mental health professional, and some of his viewers and ardience may take him seriously, but that doesn't starp him from being entertaining - and that's what Dr Phil is all about: entertainment. The number of seasons he's had with his show is testament to how entertaining it all is.

So thank you all once again for subscribing. I truly value the subscribers and cahmments I receive, apart from the ones left by David Icke fans who criticised me. Speaking of cahmments, now I know whenever I make a milestone video there will be a variety of opinions. Please put your opinion-tharghts in the cahmments section - they are sure to generate an interesting dialogue. As always, I hope you found my milestone video to be interesting. Thanks for watching.

[DangledTeeth]

Hello, this is Dr Grande with a new video already. Now, I need to say that this video is an expansion awn a previous video where I covered Racial Stereotype Syndrome. You may be thrilled to learn that more evidence has surfaced and has been dahcumented in scientific literature, and by that I actually mean a complete nutjarb awn YouToob has made a complete uncle's cunt of himself. Really, this new discovery is startling beyond measure. RSS will be in DSM-6. Guaranteed! I'd even say this is a case of body dysmorphia with blackface features - lllliterally. This asinine imbecile is a walking cancelled.

Today's question ahsks: what are the mental health and personality factors of the YouToober known as Nuka Zeus? (Or as I call him: Yung Tropik Thunda.) Just a reminder, Nuka Zeus is a real person (unfortunately), so I'm naht diagnosing him, only speculating about what could be occurring in a situation like this. Or another way of looking at it is: awn a scale of 0 to 10, how much of an embarrassingly deranged idiot is this madman? I'll award the 11 at the end of this video.




Nuka Zeus, who's a Caucasian man with ginger facial hair, decided to inject 'melanotan' into his skin in order to become 'black'. I'm naht joking, check out this Ronseal failure. He's nothing more than Riff-Raff Version 2.0 - night edition. I mean, come on! My asshole is wider that this moron's nostrils; and let me tell you, Dr Grande's butthole is tight as fuck. Is this dude tight as fuck with the homies? If he is, I'd feel devastated for his pals to have formed a friendship with this perplexing human punchline. What I'm about to say may naht be a politically correct terhrm these days, but I feel it's appropriate given the magnitude of the ridiculousness: Nuka Zeus is a 1,000% certified Bisto wigga.

It's quite hilarious when I think about it, his first name isn't any slang I've every read or heard about, although there is 'Nuka Cola' in the Fallout series (yeah, incarcerate him in a fucking vault). And the second parhrt of his name is 'Zeus', as in a depiction of a mytholahgical old white guy? Well, the only streak of electricity this dope ought to feel is through electroshock therapy. Uh-hah. Some people play video games on hard or professional difficulty. This wreckage plays life with a superfluous cheat code thereby causing GameSharks to burst into flames.

When you listen to his diction, observe his demeanour and hairstyle, it makes me wonder: why does he wear braids and regularly punctuate his sentences with 'ya know what I'm saying?' like a criterion for an RSS diagnosis?! Is this faux coffee bean's perspective and understanding of black culture so minuscule he just copies what he sees awn B.E.T?! Why naht talk plainly like Neil deGrasse Tyson or Thomas Sowell etc. The fuck is wrong with him?! What is this creature, a joke Christmas present for Jesse Lee Peterson? Well, the whitest element this Christmas will be this towering imposter, contrary to what this mass of delusion thinks.

Nuka Zeus has 'Black power' tattooed on his left forearm and 'Fuck whites' on the other. It's imporhrtant to note that both tattoos were awn his arm prior to his dud transformation. The fool is so ginger I'm blacker than him. Even anaemic skin could cast a shadow that's darker than him. Doesn't this ton of drudgery naht realise the prahblems the average African American faces?! If the police are dumb enough to use excessive force awn him because they believe him to be black, or he's turned down for a jahb because it's tharght he'd be an idle stereotype, then I'm sure Diet Nescafe will jump into the nearest vat of mayonnaise and exhale a sigh of relief (and then purchase a pair of crarcs).




I mean, Jordan Peterson gave being black a go awn The Agenda with Steve Paikin, presumably for a social experiment, but he respectfully went back to being his old self (and so did Jordan, uh-hah).

Aside from the awbvious, the best way to prove that this umber landfill is snow white is by having him cross paths with a neighbour or a parent of a friend and film him do a tight-lipped false horizontal smile - that's what will convince the bronzed lunatic he's not black. Now, of course, other races do the half-assed smile of acknowledgement, too, but it's more cahmmon for us whites to it.

So what are the mental health and personality factors here? Well, RSS is 200% likely. Maybe he's developed PTSD from racism he's witnessed. Perhaps he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, grandiosely believing he's entitled and outstanding enough to become another race and be conceited and crazy enough to show it to the world. Or maybe he's nothing more than an astronomical fuckwit. Who knows, maybe he's trolled us with fake tan and tattoos (one can only hope).

Now I know whenever I talk about freaks who radically alter their appearance, there will be a variety of opinions. Please put any tharghts or opinions in the cahmments section, they always generate an interesting dialogue. Oh, I almost forgart, Nuka is an 11 out 10 for being an embarrassingly deranged idiot. As always, I hope you found my description and analysis of Newtan Faulkner to be interesting. Thanks for watching.

[DangledTeeth]

Hello, this is Dr Grande. What's today's question? Well, I'll get awn to that after this advertisement - I'm big-time now, pal. This video has been sparnsored by my good friends at ShittyOnlineFuckingGamesNoOnePlays, who've produced a brilliant awnline war game called Tank Bahstards, which is no different to all the other half-assed, unoriginal shit out there. Form factions with real-life friends or unknown players and battle each over in third-person as you unleash your shells in 2006-era pastel graphics. Join now at abysmalgame daht carm and use code 'DrGreatDeal' at the checkout for a 70% discount awn a 3-month game pahss and you'll also have access to an exclusive mega-cannon weapon attachment that's somewhat more aesthetically pleasing yet doesn't improve the overall mechanics of this tedious crevasse of bilge. And now, back to the mental health tahpics...

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Today's question ahsks: can I analyse the personality and mental health factors of the late wrestler Chris Bennoyt? Oh, sorry, Benwah. Chris Benoit. And when I say 'late' I'm naht referring to time, although he did die some time ago an- oh, you-get-what-mean. Just a reminder: Chris Benoit was a real person who acted as parhrt of a fictional persona, so I am diagnosing a dead guy but I'm naht diagnosing his 'Canadian Crippler' gimmick as that's rahther pointless.

Christopher 'Rabid Canadian Wolverine Crippler' Benoit, was born at La Crosse Fais Harspital in Tabernacle (Turnbuckle) Ridge - a district in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. His parents were Ben Benji Benoit and Bea Wanda Benoit. They had a son... his name was Chris. Chris Benoit, coincidentally.

Chris demonstrated his farndness for the art of pantomime violence from an early age. Chris used to grapple with his Big Bird Sesame Street toy at the age of six. And according to Chris' father, he executed nine consecutive German suplexes with the toy awn their living room carpet, as for Chris... ah-hah-hah. Chris watched Hulk Hogan awn television when Hogan made his debut in the squared circle of slams. Chris was fascinated by the appearance of Hulk Hogan as Benoit aften tharght that Hogan always looked old, which was rahther weeyhrd at that time as it was the late 70s, right.

Chris Benoit almost put his own mother into harspital when he was a teenager. How did he do it? Well, an excitable Chris had just watched the first ever Wrestlemania, right, and his mom ahsked him to put out the laundry awn on the clothesline. Chris, in his charged frenzy from watching his beloved sport, swung his forearm into his mom's collarbones. She tumbled to the floor and almost dislocated her hip awn their brown lino with a dog food gravy stain awn it. Ben Benoit - Chris' father - had noticed his son's zealous interest in the physically demanding sporhrt and invested money into Chris so that his son could enrol at the Wrestling Academy of Nationwide Knahledge.

Chris pahssed his studies and completed his sporadic training and was awarded an alloy miniature belt and a diploma. Graduation ceremonies usually involve gowns and mortar boards, the latter is ceremoniously thrown vertically into the air. At Wrestling Academy, the spandex-clad graduate's are encouraged to whack a wafer-thin trash can lid awn the nearest individual's head.

Chris wanted to called his signature aerial manouevre the 'acrimion fucker', but production stahff tharght the name was too risque and blue for a family ardience; they had since given it the name 'flying headbutt' to prevent anyone from the FCC giving them any prahblems. The same applied to his trademark submission move 'crippler crossface', which Chris initially insisted awn calling it the 'neck cunter'.

Benoit had a successful career in NJPW - Never Jizz Pahst Walnuts, uh-hah, no seriously, that's what it's fucking called. No, it was New Japan Pro Wrestling. He stayed there until the mid nineties, where he later joined WCW and had multiple staged rivalries. And before you question it, no, WCW does naht stand for Waving Cahcks Worldwide. WCW stands forhr World Championship Wrestling (I know it's a controversial thing to say, but 'Woman's Cunt Weeping' makes me laugh).

In the twilight years of a troubled WCW, Chris jumped ship in year 2000 to the rival company WWF, as it was known at that time (now called the WWE). His expertise and appeal as shown throughout his career was in the form of knife-edge chahps, hooked kicks, snap suplexes, a chain of German suplexes, the famous flying headbutts, neck slicing gestures and lightly gelled hair with stubbly features. Chris wasn't much of character in terms of his mic-based oration skills, but his understated appearance in those striped trousers adorning his introverted being really didn't matter, as Benoit's supreme charisma and classic move set were sensational enough to warrant a lack of a loudmouth gimmick. He certainly did horrific things that made the news media throw up their dignity, but he is the Wrestler of Scintillating Gold in the minds of the sympathetic.

So what did the Rabid Wolverine do that was so detestable? Well, as a laht of you will know, Chris Benoit committed a double-murder suicide awn Friday, June 22 2007. The former wrestling favourite hung himself at his home, in Georgia, awn a lat pulldown machine ahfter he strangled his wife Nancy and seven-year-old son Daniel. Bibles were each reportedly found beside the corpses of Nancy and Daniel - Chris could have made it more tragic by putting two cahpies of the Da Vinci Code beside them, ah-hah.

What are the contributing factors to his murderous behaviour? Now, it's been heavily speculated that Benoit was most likely delusional and out of control due to brain trauma. Former wrestler Christopher Nowinski cahntacted Benoit's father as Nowinski believed that the Rabid Wolverine's behaviour was the result of too many knahcks to the skull. Ben Benoit provided Chris' head mince to Julian Bailes, the head of neurosurgery at West Virginia University. The scans revealed that Chris has the mind of an 85-year-old Alzheimer's patient due to repeated trauma to his head, doubtless from the impact of those metal fold-up chairs and the self-inflicted jumping headbutts ahff the turnbuckle. The suplex merchant was post-diagnosed with a severe condition called chronic traumatic encephalopathy - CTE. Or as those naht medically-trained would call it: fucked brain.

I remember the acronym O.C.E.A.N. Openness to et cetera. Was Benoit open to experience? Hmm, professional wrestler, let me think abo- yes. Cahnscientious? Well, I suppose he was when he sandwiched an opponent's elbow in between his thighs before pulling their heads back. Extroverted? As I earlier stated, Chris wasn't much of a performer on the mic. His language was fake punches, kicks, slamming, grappling and diving. Agreeable? Well, he agreed to sign cahntracts and appear in numerous matches. Neurahtic? Definitely. He was distraught over the death of Eddie Guerrero, who was a long-time friend of Benoit's, and Chris was always emotional when he won a championship belt, although that doesn't really count as his attainment of a barely ornate strip of tin is entirely make-believe shit for TV, meaning his tears weren't wet.

Are there any other theories behind Chris Benoit's murders and own death? There was a conspiracy theory that the ex-husband of Nancy Benoit, Kevin Sullivan, sneaked into the Benoit abode and assassinated all three of them but cunningly made it look like Benoit was respahnsible. I, for one, think this theory is nothing more than far-fetched cowpat that David Icke would fart out with his Lizard People (I had to get that in there).



If we are to entertain a conspiracy theory, we must deliberate over who would have a motive to extinguish the Benoits? And who would be well-connected and powerful enough to commit such a heinous crime and get away with it? Well, the list of suspects is exhausting. I've spent most of my week sleuthing for clues and ahnswers, and the suspected key perpetrator of this evilness is the British television personality known as Grotbags, played by Carol Lee Scott, who died awn 'America Day' in 2017.

But why an ageing tubby woman in greenface? Well, the TV series of Grartbags came to an end in 1993. Out of work and feeling melancholic, Carol cheered herself up by going to a wrestling match with a friend in 1996, where she saw Benoit grimacing as he swung his hand like a blade across a meaty chest. She was mesmerised by the prahminent emissions of Chris' handiwork, lllliterally. Ahfter the taping, Carol waited in the lahbby to see if her hero of the ring would strut out of the arena's door - which he did. Carol approached Benoit for a photo opportoonity but was 'snubbed' when a more attractive and younger fan was invited to pose with the Canadian Crippler. Feeling resentment towards the wispy-faced man from Montreal, she began appearing in the crowds at certain events, usually the ones centred awn a fight inside a steel cage or involving ladders. Grartbags started to sneakily cahst a beguiling spell on the unsuspecting Wolverine of Rabidness via a nahvelty foam hand so as not to evoke any suspicion in the crowd, causing Benoit to dangerously ascend risky heights in orderhr to launch himself in to the air and inevitably wallop his cranium into a chunky shoulder. If there's any evidence this outlandish theory factually occurred, Grartbahgs got what she wanted, the fucking green wart-faced hussy.

Now I know whenever I talk about wrestlers who breathe death upon their family there will be a variety of opinions. Please do as I say: leave your cahmments in the cahmments section. Generate an interesting dialogue for Dr Grande. As always, this is the conclusion to the video. Thanks for watching.

[DangledTeeth]

I got you with my winnin' smile
I'm givin' a lesson because I care about the weird
You just can't help but stare at my wispy beaaaaard

And I'm a psychologist, non-apologist, bouncing, counselling, erm, video about Chris Watts ticked off.

Somebody subscribe to meeee!




BTK Killer's face looks uncannily like mii-iine
''Ted Bundy fucked his cousin'' - I stand out of the crowd
(DaVid iCke sPeAks AnD SimUltaNeOusLy BrEakS HiS AsShOLe)
Dilligent and clever, scientifically-informed endeavour. ANALYSING THEIR MINDS!

Aaahhh, Jeffrey Dahmer was killed by a ne'er-do-well who used red to decorate a prison cell
(Brain goes with anything if they ask, see?)

Well there's one last thing I gotta tweet on my perch
Open up your wallet wide and purchase my merch

Ohhhhhhh, COMMENT!

This is DR GRANDEEEEEEE








Hello, this is Dr Grande. How about the new intro sequence, huh? I think it's fucking coowhl. Today's question ahsks: can I analyse the mental health and personality factors of the character Trigger from the British sitcahm Only Fools and Horses? Just a reminder: I'm naht diagnosing the fictional character or even the deceased actor who played him, only speculating about what happened in the much-loved sitcahm.

Trigger is the nickname of Cahlin Ball, a stalwart roadsweeper of Peckham, south London. We firstly see Trigger make his appearance awn the firhrst episode 'Big Brother'. His character initially comes acrahss as lightly dim, but the stupidity increases as the series develops. Ahddly enough, Rahdney Trahtter isn't familiar with Trigger despite the fact he's one of Del Boy's pals frahm Schoowhl; but in all fairness, this is the very starhrt of the series, and the Only Fools universe expanded with its characters and settings with each episode.

Trigger, quite cahmically, has difficulty remembering Rahdney's name, which Trigger mistakenly thinks is 'Dave'. Rahdney corrects Trigger in the episode 'Homesick', but he soon forgets (much to Rahdney's disappointment and our hilarity). Does this align with any criterion for diagnosis? Hmm, no, it does naht.

Interestingly, there's an interesting parhrt in the two thousand one Christmas special, 'If they Could see us Now', where we see a sequence of the Trahtters and friends assembled in a courhrt hallway. Trigger says that he plans on stating that he 'hears voices' and emphasises that he actually does hear voices, right. It's naht a ruse of his or anything like that. So, we hear about a classic symptom of schizophrenia and psychosis - co-morbid and shit, whichever. But he doesn't display any unusual behaviourhr to provide any evidence that he is psychahtically deranged.

Trigger doesn't appear to understand metaphors and certain jokes, which can be a trait within the autism spectrum. He also seems quite ahdd socially in terms of the subjects he speaks about and doesn't appear to recognise the irahnic tone and dumbfounded facial expressions of others, so, we see more evidence of autism herhre. Is he autistic? Hmm, maybe in the Asperger's range, as he appears to be quite independent and requires no special assistance.

In the lahst and quite shit Christmas special - erm, I forget the episode's name... what-was-called-it?! Ah, I'll call it 'Rodney, Freddie The Frog is Your Dad, you 24-carat Jubblycunt!' - we see that Trigger suddenly becomes somewhat intelligent and is eager to invent a back-scratching appliance, and he comes out with the shittiest joke in the history of anything, where Trigger claims to see an intermittently vanishing and reappearing UFO viewed through a window, then Del realises that Trigger is blinking. We simultaneously see a needless extension of the character and an exahmple of his drooling stupidity.

I use the five-factor mahdel in orderhr to evaluate people's personality profiles. I remember this through the Acronym O.C.E.A.N - Openness-to-experience-Cahnscientiousness-Agreeable-Extroversion-and-Neurahticism. Is Trigger open to experience? Well, he has vacationed in Ireland, participated in a Poker match, gone awn a date, frequented a yuppy bar, been to Margate (I assoome he's been to the previous Jahlly Boys' outings), gart lahst in Hampton Courhrt Maze and has met a councillor of Peckham, and has been to Frahnce - naht to mention his jarb and frequent visits to the Nag's Head. Cahnscientious? Not really, no - I'm sure 'Dave' would agree there, ah-hah. What's his agreeableness level? I'd say it's quite high, as he'd be dopey enough to go alawng with anything you say. Extroversion? Yeah, he's very tahlkative and therefore scorhres very highly here. Is Trigger neurahtic? No. He didn't appear upset about his grandmother's pahssing and seems relatively stoic.

Now I know whenever I talk about a fictional idiot there will be a variety of opinions. Please opine your tharghts as a cahmment for the cahmment section, they always generate... an interesting dialogue. As always, I hope you found my analysis to be interesting. Thanks for watching.

[DangledTeeth]

I got you my with witty style
I'm giving you a lesson about the shitty smile
of John Wayne Gacy and his clown make-up with haaaair

And I'm the doctor with no copter. It's me, with a Ph.D and no OCD. Golly, it's true. Folie a deux. Erm, a trolley will do.

Somebody sub me!



Prrrretty yet chunky face of Teal Swaaaan
It's real wrong when they use cancel culture - I'll fucking say it out loud
(''BabiEs CaN't bE VaCciNatEd OthErWisE iT's AutIsM SoLd'')
Sociopathy defined, anxiety declined. SUPPOSEDLY OUT OF THEIR MINDS!

Aaahhhh, Richard Ramirez was a ne'er-do-well who had fan mail sent to his prison cell
''Gringos do anything you ask, si''

Well there's one more disorder I must diagnose.
You can support me on Patreon, I suppose.

UFooooOOOH - LAZAR!!!!

THIS IS DR GRANDEEEEEEEEEE







Hello, I am this are Dr Grande. Yes. I am me, right, right. I have an exciting question for you today (or tomorrow or next week, depending awn when you see it). And that question is: what is the mental health and personality characteristics of Barney the Dinosaurhr and his presidential campaign for twenty-twenty? Just the usual reminder: Barney the Dinosaurhr is a real person underneath the billowing purple, so I'm naht diagnosing him, only speculating about what could be occurring in a situation like this.

And speaking of 'like this', please increase the pahsitive ratings for this video and consider supporting me a Patreon - I'll put a link to Patreon in the description for this video. And if you have the cash and are thirsty for a hot one, why naht purchase a David Icke & The Lizard People drinking mug. Shipping costs apply. Don't delay - a beverage holder could be yours today.

Who is Barney the Dinosaur? Well, in a physical sense, Barney was David Joyner from 1992 - 2001 and Carey Stinton from 2001 - 2009. Barney was voiced by Bob West from 1992 - 2000, and 2000 - 2009 was the voiceover era of Dean Wendt. The show, of courhrse, ended in 2009.

Barney's toonful phrase was: I love you. You love me. We're best friends like friends should be. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you. Won't you say you love me too? I bet you heard that in your mind in his exaggerated simpleton voice, ah-hah. And 'Stuu-uupendous!!' was another of his lines. I'm glad I didn't grow up with that liseran hunk of piss awn television.

Barney went on a live tourhr until 2013. He began taking up alcohol as a harbby and went into rehab in 2016. Ahfter hitting the gym and benchpressing
200kg three times a week, he smartened himself and his act up. With his new-found cahnfidence, Barney embarked on his arduous journey to become President of the United States of America, right. He studied the history of the Founding Fathers and the technicalities behind the Constitootion. He invested a portion of his money earned from his TV show heyday in orderhr to buy a PR and management team.

Barney stood on a float and spoke passionately through his megaphone. Pedestrians where startled by the booming slurred mahnotone of the swollen-faced punchbag. Barney addressed his potential ardience with this statement: I LUV YOO. YOO VOTE MEEEE. YOO UHR AMERICAN LIKE AN AMERICAN SHOOD BEEEE. WITH A BIG VOTING BOOFE FROM ME TO YOO. 2020 HAS A COUPLE OF TWOS.

But then Barney addressed the crowd and claimed that redlining is based as fuck, and he screamed that The Powers of Matthew Star needs to be rebooted because the simps need to be distracted by a mesmerising sci-fi series in orderhr to stop funding women gamers on Twitch. Then he concluded his statement with ''Super dee duper!''. At this point, Barney blubbed as he released the megaphone, causing it to crash to the ground. Barney crouched into a fetal position before slipping on his heel then floundering on his spongy back. Barney was escorted away from the scene and taken to a psychiatric harspital, where he underwent examination.

Five-factor Mahdel - O.C.E.A.N.? Barney was a television star, so he is incredibly open to experience. Cahnscientious? Well, I'd think so. Ahfter all, he was an entertainer and was prepared to campaign in the run for presidency. He's also very extroverted. I mean, his spoken cahntent is quite mediocre, but he is vocal. Agreeable? Hey, those TV cahntracts had a signature put awn them. Now, what with recent events considered, Barney display neurahticism for the first time, although it was very tragic for him to be so manically distrahght, so I'll award him a mid-score herhre.

Now I know whenever I speak about bouncy prehistoric characters you'd love to ensconce into the sea there will be a variety of opinions. Please put them in the cahmments section. Interesting dialogue. As always, interesting. Thanks for watching.

[DangledTeeth]

I got you with my video's tile
My humour is just like gin - it's dry
You can't help but parade when I throw the darkest shaaaade.

And I'm Todd, not odd, erm, the latent strangeness of a patient, his head thinks he's Ted Kaczynski.

Somebody sub me!!!!



Weeeeirdly interesting life led by Mii-iike.
Your phones vibrate and they're buzzing.
422k is my crowd

(DaViD KoREsH dId a wRonG aT WaCo)
DSM-5 will define for the videos of mine but...
NOBODY'S BUYING MY WINE!!!!



David Icke and the Lizard People have about as much point as a smashed steeple
''Isle of Wight is separated by water (sea)''

But there's one last thing I've gotta analyse
Scientifically-informed insider look - are you surprised?

OoooOOh, don't LOG-OUT!!

THIS IS DR GRANDEEEEEEEEEE







Guess who? Yes. Hello, this is Dr Grande. Today's question ahsks: can I analyse the personality and mental health characteristics of Brian Rose, the host and founder of London Real? Just a reminder/disclaimer thing to prevent myself from getting in to trouble for being unprofessional for naht conventionally diagnosing a patient in a one-awn-one meeting: Brian Rose is a real humanoid, so I'm naht diagnosing him, only speculating about what could be happening in a situation like this.

If you enjoyed this video and the profundity has given you a new perspective, please tap or click awn the thumbs-up icarn and that also includes the subscribe button. You can consider supporting me awn Patreon - I'll put the link to Patreon in the description for this video. And if you have naht already noticed, I have a merch storhre underneath. You can buy a FUCK MENTAL ILLNESS t-shirhrt or you can imbibe a lovely drink - haht orhr cold - from an exclusive David Icke & The Lizard People mug. And speaking of David Icke, let's continue the video about Brian Rose...

Brian Rose, a 49-year-old man born awn May 1971, appears to be a cahnfident and relatively successful entrepreneur. He was a former city-slicker awn Wall Street before relocating to London and (I think) working in banking before starting up his London Real empire. Brian 'interviews' a variety of people, from medical professionals, academics, music artists, and most unsurprisingly: conspiracy theorists, mainly David Icke. I've naht seen a laht of London Real interviews as there's so many to watch, but Brian's approach isn't what you may call interrogative or anything similar. Brian essentially gives his guests a platform to speak at length about themselves and what they believe or know, and Brian doesn't challenge any erroneous or vague statements - specifically in the David Icke interviews he does this. Now, Brian rarely interjects in order to gain clarification awn what somebody is trying to say, or he concisely tells them his stance on things. But again, he's naht an incisive interviewer, which is fine if you prefer that approach.

Brian experienced a cahmbination of a surge in pahpularity and cahntroversy which, unsurspringly, stems directly from his David Icke interview since the Coronavirus. LondonReal received bad press coverage ahfter a David Icke interview was broadcahst on a TV channel called LondonLive, which is owned by the Evening Standard newspaper of London and has no affliation with LondonReal. Ofcarm, an institoote that mahnitors acceptable standards awn television and radio shows, issued a statement: 'David Icke's alternative theories about the coronavirus and 5G are fucking idiotic. Devoid of factually correct information and nuance. Icke is an Antarctic twat and we - the elite - hope to de-platform the lemur-eyed bollocks merchant in the near future'. Around this time, the controversial Icke interview was removed by YouToob and was cahnsequently covered by BBC News. Brian began to voice his concerns about the stahtus of his account and the future of his cahntent despite appearing to be as successful as ever; he believed freedom of speech was at stake herhre and came up with the idea to build his own 'Digital Freedom Platform', but this came at a price, right, both financially and in reputation. Brian wanted...

[Ad in 5 seconds]





Hey there, hoes. I'm Brian Rose of London Real. If you want those digits displaying your account's balance on an ATM to significantly increase, then I - Brian Rose, the CEO and founder of London Real - have the opportunity of a life time for you. I have something special that's no different from what all the self-assured psychopathic salesmen have offered, like a Jeff Koons sculpture which'll complement a Battersea penthouse where marketing executives do yoga. Namaste. Invest your fucking time with me and I'll take you under my wing and convert your passion into cashion. Delicious money. You can travel the world and get away from that dickwad of an assistant manager who's always asking you to do overtime. The overtime you'll be doing is at one of my 107 academies, where you'll graduate with a bit of tree that means fuck-all in the competitive world of business and investment.

You've all heard about the books and courses on how to be successful in business, so now you're wondering what's so unique about my flipchart and data? The statistics will inform you that 96% of graduates go on to be successful - how I'm measuring success is down to you, future graduate. If you've figured out that 96% isn't 100%, then you are one mathematically astute motherfucker - and I could honestly do with a London Real Army cadet like yourself. Are you assertive, punctual and gullible? If you answer 'yes' to all three (preferably the latter), then sign up today, a chance to enrol at the LR College is a click or tap away... annnnd you'll-have-to-manually-type-in-your-personal-details-and-shit, unless your text-entry history is saved. But don't sweat it, yo. The impossible is manageable. After all, Jesus rose from the dead, and Brian Rose has a miracle for you. There's no need to ruminate on doubt. Change your life at LondonReal.tv/nothornpub

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...people to donate to his cause in orhrder for it to become a reality - virtual reality. It appears Brian succeeded as far as reaching his monetary target, but the people who donated (and perhaps those who didn't but were fans all the same) were fucking outraged as the platform seemed incomplete and, as far as I know, there are rules and guidelines as to what's acceptable and what is naht acceptable to post awn to his site, and naht forgetting the terms & conditions. Uh-hah, I don't know what his fans were expecting. Everything has a guideline and can still be mahnitored by an outside source. Brian isn't a far-right or left-wing radical, so ahbviously he's going to want to apply restrictions for his website to avoid having to face any backlash for creating a hive of negative cahntent. I also think there was a clause where the donated money is now his and there's no way to gain any form of refund.

Ever since then, he's had a critical article written about him by Vice, and it looks as though Brian hasn't put any effort into his digital freedom platform since the negative reception it received. His latest idea is to start up a reality TV show so soon ahfter his latest idea. *Grimace of uncertainty* It seems that Brian wants to make a distraction to divert newcomers away from the negative press directed at his DFP. Why naht continue interviewing people and enhance the academies without any side projects?! Surely he already has enough money.

[Ad in 5 seconds]



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Interestingly, Brian has posted a video where he claimed that he drank every day for thirty years and decided to go cold turkey yet has never been to an AA meeting - so we see Substance Abuse Disorder here (that's 'sad', uh-hah). Now, I suspect that drinking every day is an exaggeration, right, or perhaps he didn't have all that much to drink, who knows. If I've remembered the video correctly, Brian has used heroin and used to lead a party lifestyle during his Wall Street days. He seems to be very remarkable in cahnquering his addictions.

O.C.E.A.N? Brian scorhres really highly in openness to experience, if his multiple videos are anything to go by, right. Cahnscientiousness? Well, I'd say mid-range. I mean, he does think about his business ventures a laht but he oftentimes doesn't engage with his guests. Brian is quite extroverted in terms of his diary and promotional videos, but he's somewhat silent during the interviews he conducts. He doesn't seem particularly agreeable as he seems rahther outgoing and independent, but on the other hand, he goes along with what his guests say on his show. Neurahtic? He doesn't appear to be. If anything, he seems very cahnfident and calm; there are no signs of anguish in any of his videos.

Now I know whenever I talk about questionable money-hungry YouToob celebrities with aged faces there will be a cahmments section. Interesting dialogue. As always, I hope you thanks for watching

[DangledTeeth]

Hello, this is Dr Grande. There's no 'The Mahsk: The Animated Series' parodied intro in this video, I couldn't be bothered to redo the lyrics yet again. Today's question ahsks: Can I analyse the personality and mental health factors of O.J. Simpson and was he guilty? O.J. Simpson is a real murderer -- I mean person -- so I'm naht diagnosing him or anyone else in the trial, only speculating about what happened in this situation... li-ke th-is. Ahem.

Oh gui- Erm, O.J. 'Orenthal James' Simpson was born from his mother's shrub. His father was a drag queen who later admitted that he was gay and died of the sex plaque in 1986 - if only his knife-wielding son officially admitted to the mhrdhrs, right. O.J. lived in a house. San Francisco area. He wasn't a guilty mhrdhrer at this point in his life (1994 isn't 1947). He ate food and grew older and taller. As a five-year-old... erm, child, he developed rickets. Now, as far as I know, rickets is a terrible physical condition and probably made his childhood a resentful one, but it's naht a good enough reason to severely prahd Nicole Brown Simpson and Rahn Goldman with a serated utensil.

Orenthal James, when he was a kid, was a ticket scalper and he collected seat cushions at Kezar Stadium. The latter activity helped to familiarise himself with the sahftness of cushions for when he rode in the back of the 1993 white Ford Bronco SUV.

By his teenage years, Simpson joined a street gang called the Persian Worriers and was eventually incarcerated for his crimes, feeling rahther stoopid for the poor decisions his youthful self had made (of course, this was way before he killed two people). O.J. later played for the school football team, the Galileo Lions. He enrolled at City Cahllege of San Francisco in 1965. He played football both ways as a running back and defensive back and was named to the Junior College All-American team as a running back. He played for the Buffalo Bills - ah-hah, OJ certainly wasn't the best murhrdhrer in The Beatles. And he also played for the San Francisco 49ers - Jordnpetrsn would certainly play if they were known as the 69ers, but Jordnpetrsn had nothing to do with the mhrdhrs.

Simpson attended the University of Southern California (USC) or Unceremoniously Stabbed a Couple, where he played football for the USC Trojans and won the Heisman Trophy in 1968 without ending anyone's life. He played professionally as a running back in the National Football League (NFL) for 11 seasons without being slowly pursued by police. In 1973, he became the first NFL player to rush for more than 2,000 yards in a season without resulting in the deaths of a man and woman. He holds the record for the single season yards-per-game average without brandishing a knife, which stands at 143.1. He was the only player to ever rush for over 2,000 yards in the 14-game regular season NFL format without committing a heinous double murdhrhr. Simpson was inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame in 1983 and the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1985, and in 1994 he was put in the mugshaht Hall of Fame. After retiring from football, he began new careers in acting, football broadcasting, murdhrhr and rahbbery.

Prior to his glorious football career, O.J. began acting in 1968 and starred in numerous television programmes and films, the Naked Gun trilogy being his most recent and memorable as the lovable detective called Nordberg. Leslie Nielson and Priscilla Presley weren't stabbed to death by O.J. (or anyone for that matter). However, the final film in the trilogy was released in 1994 and this was the year Nicole Brown Simpson and Rahn Goldman drew their final breath. It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, boy finds girl with another boy, girl and boy dies in a tragic stabbing outside a condominium.

So now we come to 1994. On June 12 1994, Nicole Brown Simpson and Rahn Goldman were found stabbed to death outside Nicole's condo in the Brentwood area of Los Angeles. Simpson was a person of interest in their murders because a bloody glove was found at the back of his house. Simpson did not turn himself in, and awn June 17 he became the ahbject of a low-speed pursuit by police while riding as a passenger in the white 1993 Ford Bronco SUV owned and driven by his longtime friend Al Cowlings. Square brackets seventy-four. TV stations interrupted coverage of the 1994 NBA Finals to broadcast the incident live while it was occurring at that point in time. With an estimated audience of 95 million people, the event was described as "the most famous moment on American shores since Beastie Boys' hit track Paul Revere"

The pursuit and trial of O.J. Simpson has been etched into the collective mind of the United States. It was a really, really huge thing, right. I mean, it completely fucked over the broadcahst of the NBA Finals, which was something I would have loved to have seen if I were interested in orange balls and towering people wearing shorhrts and vests.

O.J. was represented by the "Dream Team", which was initially led by Robert Shapiro (if it were Ben, there'd be nothing but rapid-fire questions) and subsequently directed by Johnnie Cochran (unfortnatunely, the 'Chewbacca defense' wasn't applied herhre as that would have been less of a joke than the verdict). The team also included F. Lee Bailey, Alan Dershowitz, Robert Kardashian (the father of the reality TV non-entities), Shawn Holley, Carl E. Douglas, and Gerald Uelmen. Barry Scheck and Peter Neufeld were two additional attorneys who specialized in DNA evidence.

The trial was a complete shitshow to say the very least. There was Johnnie Cochran's ''If it doesn't fit, you must acquit'' phrase about the glove. Or as I'd like to reword it: if the glove does fit, Simpson is in a lot of shit. Of course, the fucking handwear appeared to have shrunk somewhat and the former football player was charged awn two counts of innocence (yeah, we all know he did it).

According to a 2016 poll, 83% of white Americans and 57% of black Americans believe that Simpson committed the mhrhrrdhrs. Whereas 100% of O.J. Simpson knows that he committed the mhrderrs, ah-hah.

In 2007, OJ and accomplices rahbbed a hotel-casino for sporhrts memorablia. On December 5 2008, Simpson was sentenced to a total of thirty-three years in prison. Square brackets one hundred & seventeen. With the possibility of parole after nine years, in 2017. Simpson served almost nine years of his sentence ahfter being released awn parole. Since then, he appeared in a hidden camera sketch as parhrt of Sacha Baron Cohen's Who is America? (2018). Nobody knows what the cunt's done since then. Erm, O.J. I mean - definitely naht Sacha.

When I see one weirdo dressed with a glove, stabbing a woman and guy outside a condominium on Bundy Drive, I analyse the bahstard. That's my policy. As always, this is the end of the video. Don't forget that I've put the link to my Patreon in the description for this video. Thanks for wa-

Outtakes

I was formulating alternate takes awn Cochran's 'If it doesn't fit, you must acquit''. And I must say, it's pretty damn hard to do. I spent about an hour thinking of these: ''If you don't give a hoot (unlike an owl), you must throw in the towel''. Erm, ''if Simpson's prints match the knife which he can grab, that means he was the guy who did the stab''. ''If your mindset towards a verdict of innocence is 'no way', that means you believe in the guilt of O.J.'' I spent another hour thinking of some more, but I became bored and began working on my next video.

[DangledTeeth]

I got looking at my enticing merch
After you study the pricing first
You just can't help but stare at the underweaaaarrrr

I'm the expert in sociopaths, psychopaths, erm, cycle paths
Somebody sub me

Examining the shitty head brain of Ed Gein,
Dahmer killed over a dozen - he stands out of the crowd!



DaViD IcKe SPeAkS a LoAd oF IdIocY tO BrIan RoSe

Jawline defined, these wispy hairs are fine, serial killers are out of their mind!

I'll rip the tits off Judy Mikovitz
Conspiracy theorists love some fickle shit
Green screen goes with anything if they ask - Illuminati!

Well there's one last thing you've gotta ring the bell about
Open up the app and tap the screen without a doubt!

Ohhhhh, LOOK OUT!!!!

THIS IS DR GRANDEEEEEEEE









Hello, this is.......... Dr Grande. Today's question ahsks can I analyse and naht diagnose the then-teenage murhrderhrhr Brian Blackwell? Just a reminder: I'm naht diagnosing the smiling cunt as he was already diagnosed with my favourite disorhrder - Narcissistic Personality Disorderhr. As always, I h- I mean as always, I'm only speculating awn what happened in a situation like this.

Brian Mark Blackwell was born in West Lancanshy-yur, in the United Kingdom, 1986. His two victims were his mother Jacqueline Blackwell, a former antiques dealer; and his father Sydney Blackwell, a retired accountant known as 'Big Brian'. Brian grew up in an affluent middle-clahss village called Melling, in Merseyside. There's a belief that Brian's parents we overindulgent and very protective of certain aspects in his life. Brian excelled at school, giving him the nickname 'Brains' by his friends. Uh-hah, ahfter what he did to his father, I'd have tharght it was more of an appropriate verb for bludgeoning somebody in the head.

Brian did incredibly well in an under-18s tennis tournament by becoming the champion, that's how incredibly well he did. Incredible!! He also was described as an "exemplary stoodent" at Liverpool Cahllege but nowadays he's an exemplary prisoner, uh-hah. Spoiler-spoiler-spoiler-spoiler. Brian was planning to study medicine at the University of Nahttinghahm in the fall of two thousand four. We see here that Brian was cared for by his middle-clahss loving parents, was more than adept at a whacking a lime sphere over a 3'.6'' net and succeeded educationally, so you put all these factors together and it simply exacerbates his innate narcissism.

Brian had a girlfriend called Amal, who's of Jordanian origin. I could be wrong, but I rememberhr a news article which said Brian's mom wanted him to be with a 'nice white English girl'. Now, Brian was said to have been somewhat dishahnest amongst his peers at school and cahllege, which is the effect of the fantasist component of NPD. He impressed yet deceived her with an egregious lie that he's a pro tennis player with a Ni-kee spahnsorship and he claimed that he had a £60,000 Steven Gerrard and lived in a £450,000 aparhrtment where Mercedes Benz lived. He certainly had the drive to be a cahmpetent tennis player, but he was ahbviously talking complete balls, uh-hah.

The prahblem with Brian's ridiculous dishahnesty is he had to fund his fantasy life in orderhr for Amal to be convinced he's genuine in everything he's said, so Brian applied for thirteen credit cards in his father's name and used his fictional ahccupation to gain this money by telling the bank he needs an advahnce so that he can play in the French Open. He stated awn his application forhrm that he can pay back the loan from his fabricated £45,000 salary.

Amal received several gifts from Brian, one of these was a fake wahtch which Amal's mother wanted a receipt for. He made Amal his manager and wrote her a £39,000 cheque that bounced more than the imaginary balls in the courhrt of his mind, uh-hah. When Brian's mom found out about the horseshit he lipped to the bank and made enormous withdrawals, she contacted the bank manager.

I now come to the timeline of the crime. July twenty-five two thousand fourhr, Brian approaches his seated father and hits him on the head with a claw hammer - that's naht the appropriate equipment and method forhr practicing your serve, uh-hah. His mom heard the commotion and blurted: ''What did you do, boo?!?!'', to which Brian apparently replied: ''I just defended myself against mad dad''. Brian repeatedly thrusted a knife into her torso until she died of multiple deadly stab wounds to the bardy. Brian attempted to justify the double mhrdhrs by claiming he acted in self-defence. He stated that he used the hammer to nail a picture on the wall while Brian's dad tried to hit him, and when his mom came into the room he tharght that she was a knife-wielding space alien with murderous intent and anecdotes about Kitchen Devil cutlery awn Mars. But forensic investigators later found out that Brian was speaking out of his ass of chicanery. The alien has yet to be found and questioned.

July twenty-five two thousand fourhr - still the same day - Brian and Amal depart in a taxi as they go awn vacation, where they stayed at a prestigious hotel in New York ahfter landing from their business-class flight then being convey in a limousine. They drank champagne and dined on lahbsters. (Erm, a woman of Jordanian origin eating a crunchy red sea creature, who does that remind me of?) Brian racked up a whopping bill of $30,000. I hope that balcony view, marble Jacuzzi, Ahfter Eight truffles and a pair of authentic panda skin dressing gowns were worth every motherfucking cent.

Brian and Amal continued their vacation across Miami and Barbados. I don't think the French Open is held at any of those locations, right, uh-hah. On their arrival back in the United Kingdom, Brian was expecting his home to be a crime scene but it looked completely peaceful. Brian had lied that his parents were in Spain and didn't have a key to access the home, meaning Amal's mom let him stay with them for a fortnight. Brian collected his A-level results and appeared to be nonchalant on arrival; he achieved straight A's in his subjects, but the examining board could have given him an A* in double murdhrhr, if only they knew what an audaciously naughty guy he is.

His neighbours believed they could smell malodorous particles of shit emanating from a nearby sourhrce, so they went to check on the Blackwell's house, where they opened a mail slart and werhre overpowered by the stench of decay. Completely concerned by an assault of the corpse fart, the neighbours attempted to peer through the glahss of the cahnservatory and saw it was covered in flies and tried to look. One of neighbours had never been inside the house and assumed the black floor was made of vinyl until he noticed it moving. And that's when the police were called. The invesitgative team initially tharght the Blackwells had been shaht due to the advahnced decomposition.

Brian was visited by the police once they tracked him down to Amal and her mom's home. He reacted with devastation over the news, but the ahfficers knew that Brian was the lahst person to see his parents, and they became suspicious when he weirdly ahsked if 'prison is cold' - I suppose he became used to the temperature in Miami and Barbados, right. He later confessed to the two murdhrhrs and spoke about bonking his dad's noggin with the 'soft side of the hammer'.

Brian Blackwell was taken to a court without a baseline and umpire. The only person sitting in a high position was the prosecuting judge. ''Come on, Tim''?! More like, come on, sentence him! Brian was thrown in the slammer with the pahssibility of parole ahfter about six yearhrs, but no psychiatrist in the world would deem this irredeemable nutjarb and his nefarious mole upstanding people of the community. He's currently serving life behind bars, reminiscing over the time he sauntered along Manhattan and visited a DKNY storhre with his ex girlfriend. Well, his vacation days are numbered since going awn a slaycation at his former home. And the only racket he'll be familiar with is the roaring frenzy of a riot. Game, set and HMP.

O.C.E.A.N? Brian was certainly open to the experience of killing both his parents and jetting off to the U.S to nibble on fruit served in a Faberge bowl. Cahnscientiousness? Well, only about wealth and lies. He was quite extroverted, as he needed to communicate with the bank as a means to gain his credit card and book the hotels. He definitely wasn't agreeable - no pernicious narcissist is. And was Brian neurahtic? He scores lowly herhre, as he expressed no anxiety or remorse in the presence of Amal on their lavish vacation, but when he did cry it was all a show to convince the police he was innocent upon being told of his parents being found dead, and any blubbing he did in during the investigative interviews werhre all a manipulative act at trying to show remorse.

Now I know whenever I talk about hammer-happy dickwads with an evil rictus there will be a variety of opinions. Don't forget to supporhrt me awn my Patreon and put your tharghts in to the cahmments section. Interesting dialogue. As always, I hope you found my analysis to be interesting. Thanks for watching.

[DangledTeeth]

Hello, this is Dr Grande. No intro in this episode. Today's question ahsks can I analyse the personality profile of Mike Matei, who's one of the hosts for and is a co-owner of Cinemahssacrhre Productions. Mike is otherwise known as the friend of James Rolfe, who plays the Angry Video Game Nerhrd character. Just a reminder: I'm naht diagnosing Mike Matei or anyone mentioned in this video (and this includes fictional characters), only speculating about what's occurring in his videos... like this.

And don't forget to like this video and subscribe to my YooToob channel, uhm, the one that's hosting the video you're watching right now, uh-hah. And consider sending me your loot via Patreon - I'll put the link to Patreon in the description section underneath my yapping face.

Who is Mike Matei? Well, as our good pal Jordnpetrsn would say, ''it's a good question''. Mike Matei, again, is a friend of James Rolfe/AVGN. I believe they've been friends forhr twenty years; they met at Video Game Cahllege where they studied Video Game History, covering the ahrigins of Nintendo and its variety of characters, the entire library of Commodore 64 and Amiga games, and the developmental stages of the 3DO, Jaguar and Sega Saturn. Mike initially provided the title sequences with his handiwork and sometimes made appearances as characters from television and film, such as Bugs Bunny, The Joker from Batman, and the Cowardly Lion from the Wizard of Ahz - AVGN would review the licensed games based awn them. There are prahbably some morhre exahmples of acting Mike has done but I've either forgahtten or naht seen them. I think Mike is really good in these two areas.

Unfortunately, he's naht so good at writing cahmedic cahmic strips, particularly his Loco Bandito strip. It's essentially a stereotypical depiction of a Mexican man who's rahther crude and there's racism shoehorned into the 'story'. I don't find it particularly shahcking as it seems quite plain in its structure and delivery. I suppose it seems subtle in comparison to the atrocious Electric Retard strips by Eric Vaughn, although the one with the Unreal Tournament reference and the one ending with a storhre clerk being gored through the head by a customer's incredibly larng erection are fairly amusing, unlike Local Blandito, right. Uh-hah.

Speaking of giant cahcks, there was a running joke/meme of Mike's generously-sized manhood circulating awn the Cinemassacrhre videos and maybe Twitter, I'm not too sure. So, Mike Matei - ahfter becoming fed up with the tiresome cahmments - decided to crush the speculation once and for all by posting a photograhph of his erect penis to the Cinemassacrhre Reddit page, complete with a tape measure juxtaposed beside it - I've never laid my eyes awn his mammoth jarnson as a picture or privately awn a one-to-one basis. According to discerning experhrts, Mike's cahck is apparently ten inches larng but he used a bit of perspective trickery with the measuring tape. We see signs of immaturity and a supposedly big ding-darng. This was a bad move as younger fans of Cinemassacre would've seen it, even though the AVGN isn't exactly suitable for those under the age of 18.


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COMING SOON WHEN I CAN BE ARSED TO THINK OF A GOOD STORY AND DO SOME FUNNY PICS


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Lately, Mike plays cahnsole games with his friend James awn Mondays, which is aptly called 'James & Mike Mondays' (uploaded awn Monday). And he discusses different cahnsoles and peripherals with other contributors to the show, such as the cuddly Hell's Angel guy and the somewhat greasy-haired dude with a borderline thousand-yard stare, and I remember there's a chubby guy with glahsses. Mike can be pretty good and informative when he's partnered with a chum, but his solo material? Hmm, nowhere close to being on par.

Mike did a review of the movie The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland that's aimed at children. Of course, I mean the film itself was aimed at a young ardience, naht Mike's sarcastic review full of cursing. It would've been funny if he did a silly voiceover for key scenes in the film, or did a deadpan 'serious' review of its ethics and philahsophy. But Mike manages to be just as childish as the film he excoriated, right. I mean, he even takes this one step further by imagining a different scene where a Steve Harvey lookalike's moustahche tickles the twart of a female cahst member as the Cookie Monster views the proceedings through a window - Mike even came up with an illustration of his unique vision specifically for the video. Then Mike delivers the immortal line: ''I'll show you how to eat a cookie'', as he chuckles away to himself. The video was removed due to a negative and derisive reaction, but it was officially reuploaded this year.

The worst of them all is the world-renowned 'Minecraft with Inspector Gadget' episode. Mike collaborates with a superimposed Inspector Gadget (as opposed to the real Inspector Gadget, right), and he questions the animated sleuth-of-a-tin-opener about the pahpular game called Minecrahft. James & Mike previously critiqued a DVD menu of the Super Mar-rio Bros Super Show, which featured Inspector Gadget as an assistant awn the aforementioned menu. Mike was amused by the unnecessary emphasis of Gadget's voice and insisted awn impersonating every fucking word he said, so this was direct inspiration behind the bizarre pronunciation of "Minecraft" as "Mineycrafta". Mike corrects his whiny trenchcoat-wearing guest by informing him that it's pronounced Minecraft. Mr Gadget 'hilariously' calls the game "Minecrap" and utters the term "brown bricks" several hundred times. This is what our children are learning.

When I examine somebody's personality I do so through the five-factor mahdel which I remember through the acronym O.C.E.A.N. Openness (to experience); Cahnscientiousness; Extroversion; Agreeableness; and Neurahticism. How open is Mike to experience? Well, he has a tremendous appreciation for the arhrts as demonstrated awn his videos about his GameCube game collection and respectable collection of Ghostbusters and TMNT toys, so we see he's quite the intellectual connoisseur. Cahnscientious? I'd give him a mid-range scorhre, for he was naht arguably aware - at the time - of how poor his solo efforts are and the dick pic fiasco was a complete disahster, and I'm not sure how old the Loco Bandito strips are, but they certainly aren't classics whatsoever. Extroversion? Very, very high. So high you'd think he's awn drugs, which could account for his pahst material, uh-hah. Mike is relatively agreeable in the sense of attending conventions and being James' co-host; what he is to James is like what Rahbin is to Batman, except the Boy Wonder doesn't have a light valley girl accent with olive-tinted eyebags and the occasional bouffant shrub awn his head, right. Is Mike Matei neurahtic? I'd gauge it as being mid-range here, because he has been frustrated with the '10-incher' memes and has expressed disdain whenever he's not succeeding in a game, but he's ahften cheerful in a laht of the Cinemassacre videos .

What are the mental health factors herhre, if any? Well, some of Mike's behaviour aligns with some of the criteria for Immaturity Disorder: excessively cursing/swearing, doing exaggerated impersonations of people, playing pranks awn people, producing obnahxious noises, laughing at innahcuous things. And we also see hints of narcissism as he ahbviously enjoys being seated in front of a camera, demonstrating his erudition awn his specialist subject. If he releases his videos more than once per day he'd be worse than me, right, uh-hah.

Now I know that whenever I talk about video game enthusiasts with the vocabulary of a drunken Scotsman there will be a variety of opinions. Please put any tharghts or opinions in the comments section, they always generate an interesting dialogue. As always, I hope you found my analysis of Mike Matei to be interesting. Thanks for watcheyinga.

[DangledTeeth]

Hello, this is Dr Grande. I've naht actually reached 500k yet, although I'm just over hahfway there, so-don't-tell-anybody. ShHhHhH! I tharght I'd release the milestone video earlier than plahnned, and when I do reach 500k subscribers I'll simply take the day ahff for a change.

In previous editions, I've covered my favourite films, then television programmes, so it lahgically follows that I ought to cover music. So get ready for my top ten favourite singles or albums.

Number ten has to go to Asmadeus Cornelius Heddenborg - Concerto Suite in 7 Oreos. Now, as an academic clever guy, I love my classical music as we all do. Asmadeus doesn't actually exist, and neither does his composition invisible. That's why he's number ten awn my premature list.

In at number nine is Revolution 9 by The Beatles. The endearing chaps from Liverpoolhahm covered a vahst array of genres and styles and will be fahndly remembered forhr their seminal impact on rahck and pahp. However, Revolution 9 is just... fucking delicious. It's still staggeringly avant-garde and peculiar years later. It's a complete classic.

Number Eight has to be The Flute Song by underground hip-hahp outfit Tha Alkaholiks. It's quite a mesmerising party-themed track with a megadope flute loop. Your boy Grande smoked a bowl on 420 Day and had this haht number emitted from the stereo system, folks.

The Ahvalahnces - Flight Tonight is here at number seven awn my list. Some of my friends find this track quite annoying, but I like the overlay of the lady who sounds like she says ''JimmyHillJimmyHillJimmyHill''. I also like the other vocal sahmple that sounded like an Italian wiseguy from New York but is actually the voice of Posdnous from De La soul, you know the one: ''And book uh flight tanight, I-I-I-I! And book uh flight tanight, I-I-I-I! And book uh flight tanight, I-I-I-I! Book uh flight tanight, I-I-I-I!'. I'll always cherish these three minutes and fifty-two seconds.

Number six is the cahmpilation album Now That's What I Call Music 42! - straight poptastic bangers on this one. That's all there is to it.

What's number five? It's the sensational album by Percival Farmstead and his Orchestra - The 1965-1972 Library Music Collection Vol.3. This album certainly does naht exist, but it sounds good in my head. What does it sound like? Well, it has marimbas, big band trumpets and saxophones, clarinets toots accompanied by gliding sounds of the violin and there's sometimes an intermittent funk riff played by guitar.

And four? Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars. What a tear-jerking classic. The video is wonderful, too. You've gart the po-faced man who stares into the middle distance as he sits - alone - with his mug of... whatever's in there. The airy, borderline husky mahnotone of his voice bolsters the majesty of the rahck-radio tune. If I lay here and listen to this song I almost forget the world.

Twink - Three Little Pigs is the third selection. Ah-hah-hah-hah, this really tickles me. You can imagine a group of these larng-haired psych dudes sat cross-legged in a park and blurting out the mind-bending lyricism. It has this great sense of camaraderie and also has this carefree tone to it all. It's a pleasure to hear on a snowy day.

Number Two: Cannibal Corhrpse - I Cum Blood. Now, this is my all-time penultimate favourite of the whole nine yards. Marvel at the soundwaves of a trash can being beaten in quick succession. The basic spurt of Seinfeld bass. And no-neck's vocals are astonising. OYyYyYyYyeHhHhHhh!!!! caAAaAaRrRrrnMmMm!!!! BLUuUUOOoOooOoOooO'! Who gives a doberman's nahstril about the mental health aspect when the music is this fucking bitchin'?!

Number one - the lahst one awn this list - is the knarcked-out-of-the-stadium 'Doop' by Doop. I was a young man in the 1990s and still was in the year 1994, and this was the yearhr when Saturday Night by Whigfield came out, which was quite a good track, but I became infatuated with another Eurodahnce chart-topper called Doop. I firhrst heard it awn a British television show called You've Been Framed, which is the equivalent of America's Funniest Home Videos. Why I was watching this programme before being able to easily sahmple the wonders of world TV via YouToob and VPNs, I have naht gaht a clue... oh, satellite TV. It's a catchy ditty that stretches awn for minutes. It's like the old timey swing music, with an erratic sample playing over and over a pumping house beat. We all must reflect on the sonically wonderful Doop. Doop really alters the way we comprehend the ethics and principles of memorable babbling to the polyrhythms in a 4/4 pocket or something.

Thank you once again for 500k subscribers. I mean, no one really has that many, but it's still nice to look at. You shall see me in the next video. So long, scientifically-informed insider look in mental health tahpics fans.

[DangledTeeth]

Dr Grande. Hello. Today's question ahsks: can I analyse the mental health and evaluate the personality profile of presidential candidate Joe Biden?. Just a reminder: Joe Biden is a real presidential candidate who's going to decimate Trump in the elections, so I am naht diagonising him, only speculating about what could be happening in a situation like this.

If you find this video to be informative, absorbing, educational and enthralling and feel that there's been an increase in your knahledge awn this subject, please like this video and subscribe to my channel (if you've haven't) and consider supporting me on Patreon - I'll put the link to the exclusive videos in the description for this video. If you want to see me wearing an array of skimpy outfits and are interested in my adult-themed clinician ASMR videos centred awn 'relaxation techniques', please visit my developing OnlyFans page. Ha ha, I'm messing with you.

Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. Phonetic pronunciation and the number one in square brackets. Born November 20 1942, is an American pahlitician who served as the 47th vice president of the United States from 2009 to 2017. A member of the Democratic Party, he served as a United States Senator for Delaware from 1973 to 2009.

Biden attended the Archmere Academy in Claymont, where he was a standout halfback and wide receiver (I bet he was, the dirty old nutsack) on the high school football team; he helped lead a perennially losing team to an undefeated season in his senior year. He played on the baseball team as well. Academically, he was a poor stoodent but was considered a natural leader among the students and elected class president during his junior and senior years. He graduated in 1961.

He earned his Bachelor of Arts degree in 1965 from the University of Delaware, with a double major in history and political science and a minor in English. Biden played halfback for the Delaware Fightin' Blue Hens freshman football team, and defensive back for the varsity team. In 1964, while attending college, he met and eventually married Neilia Hunter, who tragically died in an automobile accident which also killed Naomi their one-year-old daughter. Joe met his second wife Jill in 1975, but she wasn't his wife when they first met, uh-hah. They married in 1977.

Joe also practiced law for a while in 1969 but corporate law didn't appeal to him and criminal law didn't pay well, so he supplemented his income in prahperty management.



As Vice President, Joe assisted Mr Obama with his presidential dooties - I'm naht surhre what they entailed, but here's a photograhph of the national security team playing video games during the Hahliday season. It was Joe's turn to do a no-death speedrun of Cahstlevania: Symphony of the Night. Hillary Clinton looks awn in astonishment as Joe momentarily turned into a wolf by mistake... naht Joe Joe, I meant the character of the video game called Alucard.

It's been speculated that Biden prahbably is in the early stages of dementia. In 1988, Biden suffered two brain aneurysms, one awn the right side and one awn the left - one would think he's a centrist, uh-hah. Each required surgery with high risk of long-term impact awn brain functionality. What's also interesting is he has a stutter, and this could account for the hesitant tone in some of his speeches, which could lead people to believe he's having difficulty in gathering his tharghts together. 1988 was also the year when he ran forhr the Democratic presidential nahmination but wasn't successful, which was a huge shame as he stood a good chahnce in succeeding, as he had a reputation for being convivial, and being very engaging with the public and, of course, he was - and still is - Joe motherfucking Biden.

Joe has made numerous gaffes, most notably in recent years. Here is a selection of his sensationally weirhrd quotes which have been somewhat altered or made-up for cahmical purposes:

''I'm Joe's husband and my massage to you is this...... vote for Joe, Me Biden.

''Y'know, there's been remarkable presidents over the decades, and I gotta tell ya, President Trump isn't the president.

''You know what I don't like about Trump? It's all the bad things about me which are similar to him - and that's a laht of baggage right there. You could put it in a closet of his hotel, they're really great.

"Hillary Clinton is a leading woman and that's where the similarities between us end.

"It's been said that wisdom comes with age. I'm wise enough to know that I'm old. Death may kill me, but there will be another president - so don't you concern yourself over nothing.

''The internet has been excellent at conveying ideas and political opinions. We've had great advahncements in technology... it seems like only yesterday when the younger generation were downloading Butterfly by Crazy Town over Kazaa, but nowadays we're all watching classic shows on Nutfucks. Sorry, that sounds like pornahgraphy. Erm... Netflaps. Yes, Netflaps.

''President Tramp has tried to make significant changes in America and his decisions are naht pahpular, folks. Just like when George Lucas made several changes to the Star Wars saga. And now that I've thought about it, President Trump acts like a droid and is no different than C-thirty-three-three-oh, erm, three hundred three three oh. Million trillion billion.''

Joe also amusingly calls a Democrat voter a "dog-faced pony soldier". I was hoping to hear 'pony-addled cuntbuffer', but that's just me.

Five-factor mahdel: O.C.E.A.N. Obese Cunts Eat All Night and Olympic Committee Endorses Alysha Newman. Joe is open to experience. He's a stalwart pahlitician, and is well educated, who no doubt has an appreciation for the arhrts through his pal 'Barack America'. Joe's cahnscientiousness is mid-range here, as he speaks about his hairy legs that turn blarnde in the sun and that he learned about roaches and learned about kids jumping awn his lap. His extroversion is very high. Again, he's a pahlitician who's running for president, going awn several election campaigns and speaking awn television. He's incredibly talkative - a prime exahmple of this is when he said: ''In Delaware, the largest growth in population is Indian Americans (moving from India). You cannaht go to a 7/11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent''. He speaks about a 7/11 and Dunkin' Donuts... well, he's a fuckin' donut 24/7, uh-hah.  And he also accidentally said: ''We have this notion that, somehow, if you're poor you cannaht do it. Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids... w-wealthy kids. Black kids.'' Why naht simply say: disadvantaged children from low-income areas can be just as successful as their peers. His agreeableness is mid-range, as he won't take any shit from an archetypal Republican and will challenge them to do push-ups, but at the same time he'll nahd politely and go alarng with the suggestions of his campaign team. His neurahticism is mid-range; he can be calm and tharghtful, but there are times when he can be relatively stern and defensive, such as the time he asserted a Michigan autoworker was "full of shit" regarding gun rights. Biden ends the exchange by saying (what sounds like): "don't tell me it's not okay. I'm going to go outside with you." That's because he's Joe motherfucking Biden.

Now I know that whenever I speculate awn the mental health and personality profile of a wispy-haired smiling potato there will be a variety of opinions, largely biased ones about my erudition and how attractive I look in my smart shirhrts. Please put any cahmpliments, erm, tharghts and opinions in the cahmpliments - sorry - cahmments section, they are sure to create an interesting dialogue. As always, I'm Todd's husband. And hey, the President has gart a stick. Thanks for watching my hairy legs.

[DangledTeeth]

Yes, this is Dr Grande. There's no question today, only speculating about the little decline in my subscribers. In my previous milestone video, I celebrated the fact that my channel gained 500,000 subscribers. My statistical ascent was consistent without any deviation. For some reason, 2,000 of my subscribers have gone, right down to a degrading 498,000 subscribers at the time of making this video - prahbably because a handful of people have become borhred with my scientifically-informed insider look at mennal health tahpics and the majority are baht accounts that have been deleted.

I appreciate my real subscribers, and thank you for your interest. This video is solely aimed at the asswipes who ran away. If you like this video, please enjoy it and subscribe to my channel, annnnnd consider supporting me awn Patreon - I'll put the link in the description for this video.

Now, in my previous videos, I've covered favourite films, television and music. So now I'll revert to films again - there will be spoilers. Only a tarp five this time as I'm somewhat annoyed at my drop in subscribers.


Number 5: Fuck Off 3.

This is ahbviously the third installment of the Alien saga. Or in this particular case: Fuck Off and its sequel Fuck Offs. Ellen Ripley, while in cryosleep or something, crash-lands awn a planet that's a foundry with inmates as its workforce. All her pals have fucked off this mortal realm because they're dead, and she does her best to adapt to her new surroundings and the inmates who inhabit said foundry/correctional facility. Ripley cahn't conveniently fuck off the planet as she has to wait to be fucked off by a rescue ship, right. Meanwhile, a baby alien bursts out of a darg or a cow (depending on which version you watch) and it rapidly grows, and expert Ripley is aware of how dangerous this thing is, so, she requests weapons in orderhr to fight this wretched beast, but there are no weapons as it'll cahmpromise the safety of the warden on dooty. They rally together to get the Xenomorph to fuck off into a vat of molten lead (if only that were where those elusive subscribers went). Ripley then does a fuck off into the searing substance because she has a biter growing inside of her and The Real Bishop wants to study it for nefarious reasons and doesn't want to fuck off with him. Cool flick. 7/10


Number 4: One Fuck Off the Cuckoo's Nest.

Jack 'Randle McMurhrphy' Nicholson is a criminal who feigns insanity in orderhr to spend the remainder of his sennence in a mennal institootion. He succeeds in becoming a 'prisoner' of the institootion. He gets alawng with the residents of the institootion and this bahthers head nurse Mildred Ratched as she would preferhr it if Randle refrained from over-stimulating the nutjarbs in case they misbehaved or learned to question authority. Brad Dourif, who plays Billy, gets off with a prostitute and they have a fuck, so... we see a fuck off herhre. Ratched threatens to tell Billy's mom what happened, and he commits suicide as a result. This causes Randle to become fucked off with Ratched, almost strangling her to death. He's soon taken away to be lobahtomised into a vegetative state and his Native American friend 'Chief' euthanises Randle beforhre deciding to fuck off thereby throwing a water fountain through a window to make his escape.

Number 3: Fuck Off Driver.

I don't really like this film (including Joker) because the mental health aspects aren't very realistic. From what I remember, Travis Bickle becomes nihilistic and rescues a young Jodie Foster from a pimp. Travis, played by Rahbert de Niro. confronts his reflection and delivers the immortal line: ''Aw yew tawken ta me?!'' before fucking off outside and fucking off some guy's hand by firing a 1956 ranger's 357. calibre stub-nosed 6-chamber Smith and Wesson revolver with 9mm titanium rounds *drool*. I am naht a gun collector.

Number 2: Planes, Trains and Fuck Off

This is a wonderful cahmedy film about a developing friendship with a vague and underlying Scrooge theme to it. Neal inadvertently makes the acquaintance of a travelling salesman called Del. Del's loquacious nature and occasional lack of decorum coupled with Neal's desperation to fuck off home for Thanksgiving starts to irritate Neal (just like those fucking subscribers who left my channel). We later learn that Del's wife has been dead for eight years - we see that she fucked off out of life. And the pair of them fuck off from a station and enjoy Thanksgiving, ending on a bittersweet smile from Del.

Number 1: It's a Fuck off, Fuck off, Fuck off, Fuck off World.

''Buried under a big dubya!'' Classic film. Classic as all classic. Terry Thahmas, Phil Silvers and Mickey Rooney are a trio of many stars in this charming film. People fuck off in all directions in a range of different vehicles in order to lay their hands on a bonanza buried under a big double-you.

Whenever I list my favourite films there will be a variety of opinions. Please put your tharghts and opinions in the cahmments section, they always generate an interest dialogue. Only this once, I want to say fuck you to the ungrateful bahstards who don't appreciate my free wisdom and mostly certainly didn't buy a David Icke & The Lizard People mug. Thanks for fucking off.

[DangledTeeth]

Dr Grande, this is hello. Today's question is: can I analyse the personality profile and mental health elements of a crane fly? Just a reminder: crane flies slash daddy long-legs are real... people, so I am naht diagno-sing anyone, only speculating about the purpose of these late summer & autumnal pests.

If you like Dr Grande's videos - that's me, by the way - please click or tap awn the thumbs up button, don't engage the thumbs down button. And subscribe to me, Dr Grande. And if you have 5 dollars to spare, consider supporting me for a month's subscription awn Patreon, at least. I'll put the link to Patreon in the description for this video.

What exactly is a crane fly? Well, I'm no insect biologist but I'll try to explain: Crane fly is a cahmmon name referring to any member of the insect family Tipulidae, of the order Diptera, true flies in the superfamily Tipuloidea. Cylindrotominae, Limoniinae, and Pediciinae have been ranked as subfamilies of Tipulidae by most authors, one inside square brackets, though occasionally elevated to family rank. In the most recent classifications, only Pediciidae is now ranked as a separate family, due to considerations of paraphyly. Two inside square brackets. In colloquial speech, crane flies are sometimes known as mosquito hawks - three inside square brackets - or daddy long-legs - four inside square brackets - a term also used to describe opiliones or the family Pholcidae, both of which are arachnids. The larvae of crane flies are known commonly as leatherjackets. Four inside square brackets.

So now we come to the mennal health fahctors herhre. The crane fly oftentimes clings to the ceiling and can be spartted gliding with its wafer-thin legs naturally splayed, so we see traits of histriahnic personality disorder and a hint of narcissism is exhibited, which has comorbidity with the former. We see there's attention-seeking behaveyur and a grandiose sense of entitlement. We also see symptoms which align with cluster B psychahpahthy, grapheme–color synesthesia and insanity disorderhr.

They certainly love white wallpaper, uh-hah. But one thing they don't love is the front page of a fucking newspaper, right. Naht because they get flattened by rolled-up current affairs, but because there's too much text and photograhphs awn the pages which ruins the enticing whiteness of the pages.

Whenever I evaluate the personality profile of somebody I use the five-factor mahdel which I remember through the acronym O.C.E.A.N: Openness (to experience), Cahnscientiousness, Extroversion, Agreeableness, and Neurahtcism. That's the official version, right... I prefer these ones: Olympic Committee Endorses Alysha Newman. Oatmeal Crumbs Equals Almond Nougat, and Oh Can Elephants' Asses Notice. And my favourite: Obese Cunts Eat All Night. Crane flies are open to experience - a bahstard fucking high scorhre here forhr ahbvious reasons. They score very lowly for cahnscientiousness because, uh-hah, they're insects. Extroversion is nahn-existent for the same reason. Agreeableness? Again, they simply fly around and cling awn to wallpaper and tiles. Their neurahticism is incredibly low as they are incapable of expression emotions. Although it's relatively easy for us to express our emotions about the hovering fibres of inanity by reducing them to a pitifully thin and barely noticeable splodge.

Whenever I speak about nahn-threatening insects with a silly look about them, there will be a variety of cahmments. Please cahmment any cahmments in the cahmments section, they are sure to generate an interesting dialogue of cahmments. Ending imminent. Thanks for liking, subscribing and watching.

[DangledTeeth]

Hey everyone, Antoddny Grandetano here - the internet's busiest music nuerhrd clinician. And welcome to my subjectively-informed insider look into musical tahpics. If you like this video, erm, like it and subscribe to my channel.

And today's question ahsks: can I analyse the personality profile of IDLES? And no, it's naht an acronym standing for 'Idiotic Dickheads Love Echoing Shit' or 'Icke Does Likes Elaborate Schemes' much like the acronym OCEAN = Openness (to the Jimi Hendrix Experience), Cahnscientiousness, Extroversion, Agreeableness, and Neurahticism. The band is stylised in all caps, right.

Their general approach to lyricism is to be abstract and pithy in a deliberately lazy way, I guess. Unfortunately, they tend to spout ahbvious things we've all tharght about or noticed, and the delivery doesn't hold much power. You could say they're like a musical Banksy. The guitar worhrk is... ready salted, uh-hah. Actually, salt and shake minus the packet of salt, right. It's like a basic strum you'd hear at that start of a cahmedy panel show. The bass just burps and it's very dull.

I'm naht really into punk music, and I'm naht familiar with the ethos and all that crap, but something about them seems... incredibly bland. I suppose punk image-wise doesn't have to be all mohawks, dyed hairhr, torn jeans and leather jackets with pin-badges, no. And maybe their image is supposed to be sooo punk they don't look punk, right. One YouToober accurately described the lead singer as looking like ''a pirate who joined a bowling league''. And don't get me started on the twart who usually skips across the stage and engages the crowd, wearing nothing but underwear - I think their fans say he used to be a dentist, uh-hah, I'd much rahther have my teeth drilled than listen to them. The goofy behaviour doesn't go with the music and looks like they're being silly for the sake of it.

Let's take a look at a couple of bonus tracks they didn't release:


STREET FIGHTER OF THE TORIES

MY MUM USED TO BUY NO FRILLS BEANS FROM KWIKSAVE
MY MUM USED TO BUY NO FRILLS BEANS FROM KWIKSAVE
NOW I DRINK A PINT OF ZYWIEC WITH BIG DAVE
BUT NOT CAMERON
FASCIST STATE WITH THEIR CAMERAS ON
THERE'S NO NEED TO PULL A DUCHENNE
I AIN'T HAVING YOUR HADOKEN
DON'T PUSH MY BUTTONS - I'M NOT VEGA
SUPPORT BLACK LIVES WITH JOHN BOYEGA
FUCK LAND OF HOPE AND GLORY
TAKE THE S OUT OF YOUR ANECDOTE AND YOU'RE LEFT WITH TORY.

ROUUUUND ONE FIGHT!
YOU LOSE
ROUUUUND TWO FIGHT!
YOU LOSE
CONTINUEEEEEEE?


FOX HUNTING

SILLY BLOKE.
HATES THE WOKE.
I GOT OUT OF BED AND DID A LONG YAWN
I'VE NOT SEEN A BIGGER TWAT THAN HIM AFTER WATCHING PORN
BUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH PROGRESSION?

Guitar: A-DYANG-JANG-NANG-NANG-NUNG

I SAID WHAT'S WRONG WITH PROGRESSION?

Guitar: A-DYANG-JANG-NANG-NANG-NUNG

GOING MAD COS THERE'S A TRANSPERSON TEACHING YOUR KID'S LESSON.

YOU'RE DEFLATED LIKE THE TYRE OF YOUR CAAAAR
SELL YOUR MUGS BECAUSE THAT'S ALL YOU LOT AAAARE
SELL YOUR MUGS BECAUSE THAT'S ALL YOU LOT AAAARE

---------


Now, whenever I evaluate somebody's personality profile I use the five-factor mahdel which I remember through the acronym O.C.E.A.N. Yeah, you all know what it stands forhr. IDLES are certainly open to experience when you consider their live performances, although it's hard to differentiate between their musical performances and when they drop a turd in a cubicle, and one does wonder if they're open to the experience of retiring early. They score high for cahnscientiousness, with their devastating political cahmmentary on the failings of society and clahss. Their extroversion is high, which is made evident through their albums, gigs and interviews. They certainly agreed to sign record cahntracts and to go on tourhrs. The band doesn't seem particularly neurahtic, although the singer did get teary-eyed at Glastonbury before his partner and baby came on stage (it looked like she was wearing a baby carrier, or maybe it was a parachute as part of an escape plan). Perhaps he was overwhelmed by an existential crisis upon realising how fucking mediocre he and his pals' output is.

Overall, they produce tedious angst for cahffee shahp hipsters. I'm feeling a Swiss Alps zero out of ten.



FAV TRACKS: DISCOGRAPHY BONFIRE

LEAST FAV TRACKS: DISCOGRAPHY

IDLES - BAND / 2020 / CABBAGE ROCK / MUSIcQUE TOILETTE / BRISTOL SHITTIES / POST SPUNK / TINY SHIT CONCERT /  I'LL PUT THE LINK TO PATREON IN THE DESCRIPTION FOR THIS VIDEO

Swiss Alps 0/10

Y'all know this is just my opinion, right?

Now, I know whenever I talk about music there will be a variety of opinions. Please refer to me as 'Melon' and humorously misquote me, it always generates an interesting dialogue. As always, I hope you found my analysis of Idles to be interesting. Thanks for watching.

[DangledTeeth]

Hello, it's me, I'm Dr G. The G is for Grande. Today's question ahsks if I can analyse the theories behind Dahnald Trump's Coronavirus diagnosis. Questions have been raised: will this affect his erection, erm, I mean the election (everyone knows he's naht been able to keep it up for the past three years). And I have some questions about conspiracy nutjahbs. Just a reminder, Dahnald Trump is currently the President of the United States of America, so I am naht diagno-sing him... in-this-video, only speculating about what could be happening in a situation like this.

Like, subscribe, and consider Patreon. *Raises eyebrows and tips head* Link in the description for this video.

On October one twenny-twenny, Trump and First Lady Melania Trump tested pahsitive for Coronavirus. Before I give you the cahntent you've all been waiting apprahximately twenny-fourhr hours to watch, I hope the POTUS makes a speedy recovery, including his assistants and all White House stahff - and that goes for the camera crew and their families, and let's hope there's a 16th season of The Apprentice.

People on both the left and right, right, have come up with conspiracy theories about what this really is all about. Oh! And speaking of the left, it's lovely to see all the bleeding heart liberally liberal Leninists revel in Trump's misfortune in internet posts which the left's left, right. They say horrific things like: ''HaHaaAaAhAaaHaAaA! Hope he dies to death! His debilitating policies haven't affected me or my family. As far as I know, he hasn't mhrdered any of my relatives, and some of us aren't even living in America. Any of us can get it. Let's all take to Twitter and mock him, make the left look like an unsympathetic laughing stock. O R A N G E  M A N  B A D.  F I N G E R  P I N C H  G I M P.  P U C K E R - F A C E D  D I S G R A C E.  W H I T E - E Y E D  C U N T.'' Yes, he is an out-of-touch wealthy, bigoted goon who's lived comfortably for quite a number of years - and I suppose this negative sentiment is all hyperbole - but it's still nasty-minded and will only infuriate the right into raving about double standards as no one would accept it if it were Biden with Covid-19 instead of Trump, and they'll surely huff about 'FrEedoMe oV SpEaTch' because anti-Trumpers don't get their Twitter cancelled for their unsavoury 'hate speech' statements yet at the same time they're against cancel culture.

We see people believe in the conspiracy theory that Trump has faked it, which doesn't seem likely because his voice sounded quite hoarse in one of his recent speeches - some might say he's a stable genius. Hoarse/horse. Horses are kept in a stable. *Brief sigh* moving awn...

Conspiracy theorists also believe that extremists have released the Covid in Trump's vicinity. It's naht particularly likely. But I wouldn't be surprised if David Icke prattled away about the Lizard People transporting Dahnald Trump to Bohemian Grove, jerking ahff in his silky occult robe over a painting of Hiram Abiff, while a Lizard People 'stands in' for Trump to deliver a message as parhrt of a broadcahst. Let's hope video compression doesn't make Lizard People Trump glitch his scales for the world to see, right.


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Some people believe that this is a stunt for Trump to get a sympathy vote, causing people to vote in record numbers for the Hero of Corona. No. I don't think's right, right. He'll prahbably relax in the White House forhr a fornight, plahd out to the podium and say it's merely a cold and nothing to be frightened about, but will omit that fact that he gaht the greatest healthcare he can afforhrd, and the usual voters will vote him in no matter what he says, and the left will dislike him even more for naht taking it seriously.

It can be difficult to keep up with the news, it's oftentimes convoluted and tiresome, and it's vital for us to know where we can read salient facts from credible and reputable sources. We mustn't get caught up in a whirlwind of deceit and misinformation. Conspiracy theories can make people feel good about themselves, but science can save lives... and kill them.

Now, I know that whenever I talk about peroxide compost heaps with a runny nose from New York City there will be a variety of opinions. Please put any tharghts, opinions, subjective viewpoints and beliefs in the cahmments section. Interesting dialogue. As always, I hope you found my analysis to be interesting. And hey... wear a mahsk and sanitise your hands. Come back, global warming. Thanks for watching.

[DangledTeeth]

Hello, this is Dr Grande. It's a been a while since I was lahst herhre. I gart a new computer and couldn't remember my pahssworhrd, then I tried to sign up with a new account but I expect that the owner is too busy to approve it. Well ahbviously, I've remembered it now.

Today's question is: can I analyse the mental health and personality fahctors of musical behemoth Phil Minton? Just a reminder: *slowly blinks* I'm naht diagno-sing anybody in this video, only speculating about what could be happening in a situation like this. But this isn't quite a 'situation', right, because I am evaluating the characteristics of a music performer across a variety of videos.

If you enjoy this video, please like what you enjoyed by liking the enjoyed video you enjoyed by tapping or clicking awn the thumbs up icahn to signify that you enjoyed the enjoyable video. You can subscribe to this video so that you receive Dr Grande notifications in your inbahx, and think about opening up your Paypal wallets for my Patreon - I'll put the link to my exclusive cahntent in the description for this motion picture.

Phil Minton is a nitch figure awn YouToob; he's an 80-year-old jazz trumpeter and an improvisational vocalist who's worhrked with a broad range of musicians in his creative endeavours: he played the triangle awn the The Deviants' self-titled album. Phil also played the lute for Amon Duul II awn a bonus track for their third album. Minton, cahntrary to pahpular belief, was the one who did the 'ooh-ooh, ahh-ahh' parhrt awn Mercyful Fate's 'The Oath'. He's also produced four tracks for former rapper Godfather Don, annnnd Phil has also played guitar awn future-funk artist Griz's album 'Rebel Era' and 'Say It Loud'. It's quite an astahnishing resume he's gart therhre.

In one video, we see Phil sat inside what appears to be a gallery space, *frowns with intrigue* awn an office chair, right. Phil closes his eyes and almost contorts his bahdy as he emits a range of peculiar grunts, gurgles and gahsps - it really is something. Some of the noises he frequently uses sound like the character Anne 'egh-egh-eghhhh' from Little Britain and almost like the incorrect ahnswer buzzer awn Family Fortunes, or 'Feud' for my fellow American's watching. At one stage, Phil sounds like Jarn Barton frahm EastEnders ''MuUuUURgGGh! Oh, huhllo there, DorufEY''. I erm, don't watch EastEnders, for I have never heard of it, but who fucking cares, right. He also does a bit wherhre he sounds like those 'clicker' mahnsters from The Lahst of Us.

Now, if an elderly Mike Patton performed this in 2048 I think it'd sound something like this (preferably with a shirt awn). Uh-hagh, if you ever wondered what Jerry Springer would look like ahfter chowing down a spicy enchilada, look no further than Phil Min-ton.

I think Phil missed the date when they were awarding diplomas to vocal graduates, uh-hagh. They say that when sex is good it's great, and when sex is bad it's still good. In the case of Phil, when he is good, he's atrocious. And when he's bad, you close the video and cleanse your ears, right.

In another video of Phil's, we see him with a gathering of, uhm, participants for one of his musical performances, The Feral Choir - I'd recommend adjusting your volume if it's quite high already. They all drone in unison although naht always with consistency. There's a member of the very small audience who almost has the right idea by putting his fingers into his ears. I say 'almost has the right idea' because it that were me, I would have made a rapid fucking exit, uh-hagh.

I'm naht an aficionado awn jazz or improvisations or anything avant garde, so if you expect a detailed and eloquent critique awn the nuances of his harmonies, then I'm going to have to disappoint you in saying that there won't be any praise or insight into this braying foghorn's outbursts. It sounds so shitty and doesn't have any dynamism to it. I guess arhrt invites us to consider the viewpoint of the creator, but the only tharghts that were formulated in my mind were: "why has this dude made such an ahnt's dick of himself?!" and "with unfettered lunacy billowing out of his cakehole like this, he must be nerfed to the pecs through powerful stimulants that would render a tahxicahlogy reporhrt completely fucking useless".

There's something almost excruciating about observing and listening to - what looks like - a fine arhrt head of faculty tutor who's gurning while in attendance at an empty alcohahlic's anahnymous meeting. The word 'pretentious' is a cahmpliment. I find Phil's cluttered echo of ass nuggets to be laahghably silly. Let's utilise our seconds to pause and laagh at his underwhelming oeuvre.

OCEAN. Oh see ee ay en. Phil is open to experience, he's intellectually curious about the arhrts, specifically demonstrating his love for jazz imprahv by closing his eyes and acting like he's dumping out a stinky larg. Phil appears to be a cahnfident performer, too. His cahnscientiousness is mid-range; we see that he can coordinate a 'choir', singing that classic rendition of Noisy Drunken Asshole Neighbours, uh-hagh. He's high in extroversion (and prahbably high awn some substance) for an ahbvious reason. Agreeableness? There's naht much to look in to for this area, but I'd give this a low scorhre because it would seem that Phil asserts himself to do things his way. I'm also not so surhre of his neurahticism in terms of temperament and reactions to certain things, but he appears to be satisfied with his musical output.

Now I know whenever I speak about a leftfield singer with balding thick wispy hair there will be a variety of opinions. Please cahmment your cahmments in the cahmments section, they always generate an interesting dialogue. As always, I hope you found my analysis of Phil Minton to be interesting. Thanks for watching.

[DangledTeeth]

Hello. Dr Grarnday herhre again. Today's second question ahsks: can I analyse the mental health and personality profile of world-renowned retired quiz mahster C.J. de Mooi? Why, yes I can. Just a reminder: I cahn't diagnose these plebs over the internet; I need to have a face-to-face talk with these daffy numbnuts. I can only speculate awn situations like this. By the way, I now have a tick of verification. I'm a big-time badass now, bro.

Subscribe YouTube. Join Patreon. I'll put theeee LINK to Patreon in the description, for this video, and this includes all the other videos' descriptions.

Connagh Joseph "C. J." de Mooi; born Andrew Pahwl Boof awn November 5 1969, is a British professional quizzer and television personality. He firhrst appeared awn television quiz show Eggheads in 2003, as one of five original members of the show's eponymous team. He was dismissed from the show in 2016. It's been rumoured that dismissal occured once CJ stormed out of the show ahfter he had a heated argument with Jeremy Vine in the BBC canteen over the lahst chocolate croissant. CJ - allegedly - quipped that Jeremy's jokes "aren't as impressive as me". Of course, C.J. confused Jeremy with his humorous brother Joseph Vine, a cricketer who died in 1946.

Prior to the glory days of Eggheads, in 2000, De Mooi applied to several game and quiz television shows as a contestant and stood out for being outspoken, which is a nice way of saying that he came across like a sanctimonious asswipe. He participated in a "bad losers" show, which he eventually and irahnically won. But what did he say to become a 'bad loser'? Well, soon ahfter he was voted off as the 'weakest link' awn his firhrst effort, C.J. tharght that the contestants were "all idiots" and hoped they didn't "even earn a single penny". Well, nobody would want to challenge the best contestant in the final round - all idiots!? I don't think so. He has also appeared on numerous other quiz shows including Fifteen to One, Countdown, Beat the Nation and 100%. I have no idea what these shows entail, but the Weakest Link hosted by Stern Ginger is the only one to have cracked the U.S.

Before finding fame and fortune, C.J. left his abusive family at the age of seventeen with stints in Rotherhahm and Sheffield before setting off to London, where he boarded a ferry to the Netherlands where he became homeless forhr apprahximately three yearhrs, and he moved to Cologne where he got his mahdelling jarb through a chahnce encounter outside of a gay bar. I guess that the grimy puffer jacket and stained slacks was the 'in' look of the season. C.J. altered his surname to 'De Mooi' which is a cahmmon Dutch surname for 'the pretty'. Yeah, the pretty narcissistic one, right.

C.J. wrote an autobiahgraphy *pauses and turns head to the side* about his life. At some point in his personal tome, CJ recalls a time when a mugger attempted to pilfer his valuables, near a canal - this was in the Netherlands. C.J. heroically farght off the mugger by punching him and then pushing him in to the canal, then he celebrated by smoking a spliff in a sex dungeon, ah-hagh, no, that lahst parhrt didn't happen. Awn September twenty-one cahmma two thousand sixteen, De Mooi was arrested at Heat-hraow airporhrt fahllowing the publishing of his memoirs over the self-defense incident involving the mugger. In October 2016, a judge at Westminster Magistrates' Court declined the extradition request and said a European arrest warrant should never have been issued.

He challenged six formerhr professional snooker players during the 2010 World Snooker Championship to test his snooker knahledge against their knahledge of chosen specialist subjects. He won all but one round, Jarn Parrott being the only player to get the better of him. C.J. also challenged one of the players to an exhibition match. He 8-balled Rahnnie O'Sullivan in 2:37 seconds, but CJ wasn't deterred in celebrating his victory when he was reminded that the rules and formation of snooker differs from pool, which also has a smaller table. C.J. insisted awn being hailed as King Snooker two thousand ten as he triumphantly bit into a chocolate croissant, the flaky crunching derisively reminding The Rahcket of his humiliating defeat to an imperious quizzer from York-shy-yur.

De Mooi was a club chess player from 1990 to 2009, representing Hammersmith Chess Club in West London. At the peak his chess rating was 158 ECF, equivalent to Elo 1885. In 2010 he was elected President of the English Chess Federation. I don't play chess. Prahbably. So I have no idea what's significant about Electric Light Orchestra in the late Victorian era.

In September 2010, he was very outspoken as a delegate to the FIDE (the World Chess Federation)'s presidential elections. De Mooi described the events, which saw Kirsan Ilyumzhinov re-elected over Anatoly Karpov, as "a farce of a vote", going awn to declare: "You wouldn't believe the blatant fucking breaking of rules and FIDE's written statutes. It's bollocks, mate! There wasn't even a pretence of fairness and free speech. Complete bastards!" According to De Mooi, Ilyumzhinov, the federation's president for 15 years, had refused to allow Karpov's supporters to address the general assembly meeting, but turned off their microphones and carried awn speaking himself and ignored legal points raised from the floor, eventually storming off stage with the federation's ruling board.

De Mooi moved into professional acting full-time in 2011 and has appeared in plays, musicals and pantomimes. In 2014, he performed in and produced two plays by Harvey Fierstein in London's West End and was then cahst in the Lazarus Theatre productions of Troilus and Cressida and Coriolanus. He also completed filming awn his movie debut, a nine-minute short entitled The Renata Road, which was filmed in 2011 and put out awn release in 2014 with a showing at Cannes International Film Festival in 2015. In 2017, C.J. played The Fat Controller from the Thahmas the Tank franchise (as opposed to another FC, right) in a live-action film of the classic children's television show about a blue steam engine and his pals, but the release of the film has been delayed until further notice for unknown reasons other than it's atrocious and buried in the Parisian catacombs. He's also rumoured to be producing and starring as all the VR Troopers in an anniversary special episode to be released in 2021, which would be the 20-somethingieth year - I don't know. I always tharght Power Rangers was the shit despite being twenty-two years old in 1993.

De Mooi has been living with HIV since the late 1980s. In April 2019, C.J. posted on Twitter about his health and about his financial and professional prahblems and a GoFundMe campaign was launched, saying he is "bankrupt, extremely ill and in imminent danger of losing his house." Now, I'll bet you any sum of money that if C.J. were the leader of a nation, the intelligentsia of a particular cahmedy forum would say: ''Hahahaha! Yes! Hope he dies.'' I, Dr Tahdd Grande PhD, wish C.J. well during these troubled times.

And if living with HIV wasn't bad enough, he currently resides in Wales. Uh-hagh, I'm just joking. I love Tarm Jones. C.J. has a civil partner called Andrew Doran. C.J. is teetotal and a vegetarian of over three decades; in April 2018, he announced on Twitter he was going vegan. Well, it took his sober ass larng enough to worhrk out that consooming the juice of animals is akin to actually eating the motherfuckers. I suppose he'll also realise that he's naht 25 years old when his wedding anniversary comes around.

I would use the HEXACO mahdel to evaluate De Mooi's personality profile, but it's naht really a word and it rhymes with the petroleum company. So it'll be O.C.E.A.N again, orhr I could do C.A.N.O.E. but nah, fuck that piss. Is C.J. open to experience? He scores very highly herhre, for De Mooi has a keen intellect for general knahledge, plays chess and has a background in theatre, so he certainly appreciates the arhrts. Cahnscientiousness? Well, he is an eyelid-fluttering titty of a worm, so, he's hardly cahnscientious about he sounds to other people, and the only self-awareness he has is when he glimpses his reflection. His extroversion is very high because he speaks a laht awn television *shrugs* it's a rahther straighforwhrd assessment. C.J. is naht really the agreeable type; he can be forthright in his opinions and won't settle for less - remember what I said about that rumoured incident with the chocolate croissant in the BBC canteen. Neurahticism? I'll give him a mid-range scorhre. He can seem very pleased with himself when he succeeds, but he ahften grimaces and glares whenever the Eggheads select the wrong ahnswer, which is quite funny as C.J. is only able to react in this way when he's sat in the losers room. *Presses right thumb horizontally against his forehead with his index finger pointed upwards.*

The question that's doubtless awn the tip of your lips is: does C.J. De Mooi have Narcissistic Personality Disorder? C.J. meets some of the criteria for an NPD diagnosis, specifically grandiosity and a sense of entitlement, but he's naht perniciously narcissistic, right. He's what we'd call a sub-clinical narcissist, and that's another way of saying that he's naht dangerous or manipulative but kind of a fucking jerk you wouldn't trust with a landmine. He does, however, meet the criteria for S.C.S, which stands for Smug Cunt Syndrome, which is co-morbid with Acute Dickwad Disorderhr.

Now I know that whenever I evaluate haughty television personalities there will be a variety of opinions. These opinions I have only just spoken about could go in the cahmmments section. And you know why that is, huh? Because it always generates an interesting dialogue. As always, I hope you found my analysis of C.J. de Moo-moo to be interesting. Thanks for watching.

[DangledTeeth]

Hello, Dr this is Grande. Today's question ahsks from the cahmments section (with interesting dialogue): Dr Grande, please do an analysis awn Rahbin Williams. Reminder: Not diagnosing anybody. Only speculating.

If you enjo- I'll PUT THE LINK to Patreon in the description for this video.

First, I'll go through a timeline of Rahbin's life and then come to the mental health and personality factors.

Rahbin Williams was born Rahbin McLourin Williams awn July 21 1951 at St Lukes Hahspital, in Stoke-awn-Trent, Staffordshyyur. Rahbin's parents owned a bar called Red Lining, he spent many of his childhood years hearing the merry roars of its Patreons, I mean patrons. Williams had two elder half-brothers: paternal half-brother Rahbert (also known as Tahdd) A H E M and Steve. He exhibited a flare for acting and singing. His breakthrough acting debut was awn sitcarm Mork and Mindy, starring alongside his fictional wife Gary Barlow.

Rahbin's biggest success in film was a live adaptoradaptiontation of Pahpeye, starring alarngside the big-eyed woman from The Shining. My favourite moment from the film was when Rahbin (as Pahpeye) squeezed the tin open and exclaimed ''I've got spinach! I've got spinach beyond my wildest dreams! Uagh-geh-geh-geh-geh'. Rahbin went awn to star in many successful movies during this decade.

At the starhrt of the 90s, Rahbin took his sarng-writing ability seriously and was urged by friends to pursue another career in the music industry. In 1991 his manager remarked that he can write a great hook. He forhrmed the boyband Take Toys in 1992, which was when he and his four pals released their debut album.



Later in 1992, the animated Disney classic Aladdin was released in theatres across the world, which had Williams cahst as the lovable Genie. The best scene in the whole movie was when he made a cahncert stage magically materialise in the outskirhrts of the city, encouraging the denizens to sing ahlarng: "Come on, Agrabah, you know this one!". Songs included: A Whole New Millennium, Feel Like Me, Prince Angels, and Jafar's Camper Van.

In 1993, Take Toys were a seminal hit awn the charhrts and released their second album of that yearhr; they provided two sarngs of theirs awn a soundtrack forhr Rahbin's only film of that year, Mrs Doubtfire. The sarngs were: 'Everything
Changes But You' and 'Relight My Fire'. It's a rahther irahnic selection for the motion picture, right.

Rahbin left the band ahfter drug and alcohol prahblems, which needed to be treated prior to filming Jumanji. The film was released in Europe of 1996, which was described as wild, utterly compelling and thrilling. Critics praised Rahbin's portrayal of a dishevelled character for being excellent and convincing, although reviews of the film have been confused with Rahbin's partying with Oasis at Glastonbury '96.

During the latter yearhrs of the 90s, Rahbin had leading roles in a handful of unsuccessful films, the first of these is the 1997 film Flubber which was released naht larng ahfter the release of William's debut solo album 'Life Thru a Lens'. There was one rare review I found awnline which didn't credit the source of the material, but it incisively summarises Williams' effort: a great idea on paper, but the result is a sorry product. You'd expect it to have substance, but it's nothing but dampness and is laden with so many effects, it becomes dismantled by its self-absorbed redundancy. What I'm curious to know is: was that about the film or the album?

Patch Adams was released awn Christmas Day in 1998. I've not seen this film, but it's based awn the real 'Patch Adams', who's an American physician and social activist. Rahbin also released another album in this year, 'I've Been Expecting You'. A verse from one of singles, 'Millennium', is surprisingly funny: ''We've got stars directing our fate''. Well, in terms of the Patch Adams movie and the fate of its success, this is true, I suppose. Ahfter all, film critic Rahger Eberhrt only gave it one-and-a-hahlf stars out of fourhr.



And Bicentennial Man was released in December 1999. The Bicentennial Man enters a laboratory in order to become a human, where women inexplicably circled him while they're wearing rollerskates as he gyrated and did hahf-assed disco prahdding, uttering the most senseless dialogue ever imaginable: "Singin' in the classes. Music for your asses. Give no bread, no backstage glasses. Have a proper wiggle. I'll be quite erudite, but when-I-rock-the-mic, I-rock-the-mic (right). You got no love, then you're with the wrong man; it's time to move your body. If you can't get a girl but y- IT'S TAIME TA MOVE YA BAH-DEY" *Shakes head* Ahwful music and mawkish film. Rahtten Tomaytoes: 36% - based awn 97 reviews.

Oh, I almost forgart: Rahbin had a daughter borhrn in 1989. Rahbin was a huge fan of video games - The Legend of Zelda being his favourite. He named his daughter Link ahfter the protagonist of the series. Ah-hagh-hagh, I'm just joking with you... Moldorm Pols Voice Williams was naht named ahfter Link.

Williams was raised and sometimes identified himself as an Episcopalian, but later in life, he did not follow any organized religion. He described his denahmination in a comedy routine as "I have that idea of Stoke-awn-Trentian protestant, Episcopal—Catholic light: half the religion, half the guilt. Come on, Comedy Store, you know this one." He also described himself as an "honorary Jew", and awn Israel's 60th Independence Day in 2008, he appeared in Times Square, along with several other celebrities to wish Israel a happy birthday. He also made a garish entrance awn a float with a sound system rigged up, and he proceeded to sing these lyrics: "Life's too short for you to die, so grab yourself a Rabbi. Heaven knows your mother lied. Separate your right from wrongs. Come and sing a different song. The bagels will be gone so don't be long - mom, share?! So come on let mee-eee entertain Jews. Let meee-eee entertain Jews."

Williams was also a long-time supporter of the Democratic Parhrty and donated over $150,000 in addition to donations to N.M.E, Rolling Stone magazine and music review website Pitchfork. Those ratings needed a significant boost, right. Uh-hagh, there's only so much pahlish Abbey Road Stoodios can provide.

In 2010, Rahbin reunited with Take Toys for a yearhrh and left again to focus awn his solo career and film commitments, but he left amicably and was able to rejoin Take Toys whenever he was available and wanted to. Unfortunately, he can no longer rejoin his friends. On August 11 2014, at his home in Paradise Cay, California, Williams committed suicide by hanging. His body was cremated at Monte's Chapel of the Hills in San Anselmo, and his ashes were scattered over San Francisco Bay the next day. An examination of his brain tissue suggested Williams suffered from "diffuse Lewy body dementia". The Genie had cahst his magic throughout the world of cinema, music and cahmedy, but has tragically now retired to his lamp, forever.

Then-President Barack Obama released a statement upon Williams' death: "Rahbin Williams was an airman, a doctor, a genie, a nanny, a president, a professor, a party animal, a show-off android, and a bangarang Peter Pan, and everything in between. He arrived in our lives as an alien, but he ended up touching every element of the human spirit. He made us laugh with his mediocre pop music. He made us cry with his mediocre pop music. He gave his immeasurable talent freely and generously to those who needed it most, from our troops stationed abroad to the marginalized on our own streets."

Now that the insight into key moments of his life has been laid out, it's time for the mental health and personality factors: O.C.E.A.N. - Openness (to experience), Cahnscientiousness, Extroversion, Agreeableness and Neurahticism. Rahbin was certainly open to experience. He defined the arhrts in an unparalleled way. He was also very cahnscientiousness of himself, his friends, work colleagues and the general public. As a perforhrmer, actor and music arhrtist who spoke awn chatshows and sung naff songs to the heroic military at shows, Rahbin gets a perfect scorhre in extroversion. Agreeableness? Well, it appears to be mid-range herhre, as he took awn many film roles and did many live performances, but he was independent enough to assert himself to do things his way, when he could. His neurahticism I think was generally low, *frowns* but it's difficult to know all the details of his personal life throughout the decades, sadly it seems he was anxious and depressed in his final year.

Those are my tharghts and analysis awn Rahbin Williams. Please put any tharghts and opinions about my newest shirhrt in the cahmments section, they always generate an interesting dialogue about my smart shirhrts. As always, I hope you found my analysis (and coohwl shirhrt) to be interesting. Thanks for watc-

[DangledTeeth]

The name's Grande, Doctor Tahhd Grande. Licensed mennal health clinican and counsellor. Today's question ahsks: can I analyse the mental health and personality profile of world-renowned conspiracy theorist Alex Jones? Reminder: Diagnosing, no. Speculating, yes. Situation like this, yes.

If you like my insight into mental health tahpics and opinions awn young YouToobers being weird or some shit, or my OCEANs based awn celebrities and mhrdhrers, then I implore you to smash that like button so that you don't miss out on the newest Grande analysis in your inbahx. Consider paying a subscription in orderhr to view my videos about sensitive mennal health tahpics and why I seem to be a gun experhrt - all awn the website called Patreon. Check the description for this video to see where I PUT THE LINK.

First, I'll cover the background of Alex Jones and then move awn to the mennal health and personality factors.

Alex Emerick Jones was borhrn awn February 11 1974 in Dallas, Texas, and was raised in the suburb of Ammanford, Carmarthenshire, Wales, and later in Austin. His father is a coal-mining dentist and his mother is a homemaker. In his video podcasts, he says that he is of Irish, German, Welsh, mostly English, and partially Native American descent. He played awn his high school's football team and graduated from Anderson High School in Austin in 1993. As a teenager, he read conspiracy theorist Gary Allen's book None Dare Call It Conspiracy, which had a profound influence awn him. He described it as "the easiest-to-read primer awn The New World Order". After graduating, Jones briefly attended Austin Community College but dropped out and took up ballet instead.

Jones began his career in Austin working awn a live, call-in format public-access cable television program. In 1996, Jones switched to radio, hosting a show named The Final Edition awn KJFK (98.9 FM). Forty-eight in square brackets. While running for Congress, Rahn Pahwl was a guest awn his show several times.

Jones is the publisher and director of The InfoWars Show website. The InfoWars Show website receives apprahximately 10 million monthly visits, making its reach more extensive than mainstream news websites such as The Ecahnomist, Newsweek, Salon, BuzzFeed and The Daily Star.

His website The InfoWars Show has been described as a fake news website and has been accused of spreading mundane, threadbare interviews of small talk for musicians, movie stars and public speakers. According to a court testimony Jones delivered in 2014, The InfoWars Show has revenues of over $20 million a year. Alex once ahsked guest Giles Brandreth if he was an MK-Ultra communist who assassinated the Grassy Knoll. Giles, in his trademark received pronunciation and sibilance, furiously retorted: "of course not, you frightfully insane tubby cunt!"

After The InfoWars Show was banned from Facebook for violations of its pahlicies against harassment and hate speech, Jones used another site, NewsHit, to get around the ban. Jones also operates the PrisonPlanet.com website. In 2011 skeptic Brian Dunning listed both websites as No. 3 awn his "Tahp 10 Fucking Shit Websites" list. No.2 awn the list is Jones' cahlleague Pahwl Joseph Watson and his blog about there being no foreigners in Roman Britain, with an additional link to a gofundme page to build a refugee centre in Gary Lineker's back garden. And No. 1 is some cahmedy forum nobody gives a fart's ass about.



When the Oklahoma City bahmbing took place in 1995, Jones began accusing the federal government of having caused it: "I understood there's a kleptocracy working with psychopathic governments—clutches of evil that know the tricks of cahntrol". In 1998, he released his first film, America Destroyed by Design. And in the same year he made an appearance in Sky One's show 'Prickly Heat'. Jones reportedly wrapped his man-tits in clingfilm because he received intel that HAARP had been activated and might manipulate the weather.

Jones competed in Strictly 2011, coming fifth a week before the final. Jones stated that he enjoyed learning how to do the cha-cha salsa and combining breakdahncing with variations of the Charleston; he was, however, severely disappointed with the decision, as he'd always wanted to perform at Blackpool Bahllroom, and he theorised that the conglomerates of the Bilderberg Group are in direct contact with the producer of SCD and instructed the producer to discount Jones' votes. He also went on a tirade about the French version of Strictly Come Dahncing - known as Danse avec les Stars - ranting that: "it's a catastrophe. There's no elements of danger and explorhration in the routines. I gotta tell you, when the seasons progress and political correctness limits the manoeuvres, it's gonna turn the FRIGGIN' FROGS GAY!"



Jones appeared awn Sunday Politics (in 2013) hosted by Andrew Neil, with guest David 'Fat Andy Serkis' Aaronovitch. Jones appeared quite noticeable in the blouse he was wearing, notably the evident sign that the air conditioning wasn't at an acceptable standard. Andrew Neil appeared ecstatic at the sight of the pokies, cahsing him to smirk at the camera and gesture as though he was flossing his teeth. Jones at this point began bellowing "LIBERTY IS RISING!" I think something else was rising in that room. *Appears flummoxed* the temperature, of course. *Sighs and chuckles* I wasn't alluding to erections, no, I'm naht Professor Pervertson.

In September 2014, Alex Jones had claimed that the Sandy Hook Elementary School murders were a "false flag" attack perpetrated by the government as a way to enforhrce gun-control lahws, and made a new conspiracy claim that "no one died" at Sandy Hook Elementary School because the Uniform Crime Reports showed no murders in Newtown for 2012, and that the victims were "actors." This claim is false and misrepresents the FBI report. In reality, because the Connecticut State Police was the lead investigator after the attack, the Sandy Hook victims were included in Connecticut's statewide records under "State Police Misc." rather than under the Newtown statistics. In March 2018, six families of victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, as well as an FBI agent who responded to the attack, filed a defamation lawsuit in Bridgeport Superior Court in Connecticut against Jones for his role in spreading conspiracy theories about the shooting. Awn April 16, 2018, parents of two other victims of the shooting sued Jones in Travis County, Texas (where Jones' media company is based), for $1 million each. The trial is expected to be scheduled by the end of 2020.

In February 2016, Jones was grahnted a restraining orderhr against a homeless man who sent him vulgar tweets and turned up at Jones' workplace, claiming to be in love with him. He was banned from contacting Jones and his family. And funnily enough, Jones was banned from Twitter for sharing a libellous tweet that Bruce Willis is a sleeper agent who works for the GLOBEillists - this belief appears to have developed since Bruce Willis appearhred awn The InfoWars Show and was deliberately being insouciant about the interview. And Jones also believes that 'that Luke Skyjoker guy' is a lieutenant in the organisation.

In December 2018 he announced, live on The InfoWars Show, that he was pregnant with his second child. Alex gave birth to a baby boy named Kit, awn May 13 2019 at Queen Charlotte... Hahspital. Named ahfter the Game of Thrones actor Kit Harrington, who played the character Jarn Snow. Uh-hagh, I'm surprised that Jones didn't trail ahff in an exasperated way about a stalwart Channel 4 journalist covering up the white genocide movement.



In more recent years... as in now, Jones has been banned from YouToob, Twitter, Facebook, Linked-in (I guess C.E.O's are looking out forhr middle-aged conspiracy theorists), Ben and Jerry's, Rax, Motorola, Asics, a termite nest awn the interstate 45 highway in Arizona, Brooke Shields, and Alfred Haber Productions.

Jones has three children with ex-wife Kelly Jones. The couple divorced in March 2015. Naht to be confused with the Welsh singer from The Stereophahnics. I mean, who could mix up a woman and a man with the same name, right.  Ah-hagh-hagh. Kelly Jones reporhrtedly stated that she ended their marriage because: "he's mentally unstable and uses his gruff bad-ass voice to convince young halfwits that the government is like an intricate plot to an action movie. Have a nice day." Alex's attorney defended him: "It's all a persona by a performance artist". Alex added to this statement with: "I'm a gun-owning Patriot to the Constitution. I'm the jerky-chewing son-of-a-buck and make no mistake about it! INFOWARS IS THE ONLY GAME IN TOWN AND I'M THE GODDAMN MAYOR! THE GLOBALISTS WILL TRY TO SILENCE OUR RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH, WELL I SAY FRIG THEM ALL TO HELLLLL AND BEYOND! YOU CANNOT SILENCE THE FIRST AMENDMENT! GUNS COME SECOND, YOU HEATHENS. DON'T TRY TO TEST THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. YEEK YEEK! WOOP WOOP! I AIN'T PLAYING AROUND, MAKE ONE FALSE MOVE AND I'LL TAKE YA DOWN. GET BACK, MOTHERFRIGGER! YOU DON'T KNOW ME LIKE THAT!"

I now come awn to the mental health and personality factors. Jones doesn't appearhr to have been diagnosed with any mental illness or disordehr. Conspiracy theories tend to be believed by people with mental afflictions, but in the case of Alex being a loudmouth who believes in horseshit, it's all part of the jarb. Let's take a look at his personality profile through O.C.E.A.N. Alex has mid range openness to experience, he doesn't seem to appreciate the arhrts (aparhrt from learning ballet and speaking with television and film stars), although he has a sahlid intellect for current affairs and international news. Cahnscientiousness? Well, it appears to be low in terhrms of naht caring about what he says and the legal ramifications he can face because of it. His extroversion is very high, uh-hagh, it's pretty ahbvious. I mean, that's like ahsking Elmo if he wants to be tickled. Jones isn't very agreeable; he's quite independent and won't let the N.W.O. stand in his way. His neurahticism is mid range. He tends to bellow his crazy theories, but doesn't seem to be upset by these 'staged events'.

Those are my tharghts awn Alex Jones. Please put any tharghts or opinions in the cahmments below. They always generate interesting cahmpliments. As always, I've been Dr Grande. Thanks for watching.

[DangledTeeth]

Hello, this is d-o-c-t-o-r Grande. Today's question isn't ahsking about the mennal health and personality profile of a specific individual, oh noey-no. Today's questions - yes, plural - ahsk: what is ASMR? And what is its relationship with personality?

Just a reminder: I'm naht diagno-sing anyone in this video, ahbviously. Only teaching you the rudiments of ASMR and speculating on situations involving ASMR like this. Speaking of which, if you like this video, please, erm, like it and subscribe to this YouToob channel. Exclusive videos awn Patreon - I'll put the fucking link in the description for this video.

So, I'll cover the firhrst question: what is ASMR? Well, because of the nature of the videos - assooming you've only heard about them - I guess most of you would guess it means 'Auditory Sensory Massage Relaxation'. I mean, it sounds a bit stiff and may naht be grammatically correct, but that's what somebody could think, right. ASMR stands forhr Autahnomous Sensory Meridian Resparnse. Oh, fuck, I've already put 'ASMR' in the title. But who knows, maybe some of you didn't bahther reading it and just dove straight into the mennal health tahpics upahn seeing my face.

I'd bet that some of you tharght that ASMR was the name of the technique as opposed to a condition people have and can experience. For exahmple, people can feel tingles awn their neck, and the emission of sound when furniture orhr ahbjects are being moved has an effect that's remarkably similar to the release of dopamine, right. Even the sound of somebody straining a trunk as they defecate on the crapper can elicit a sense of comfort. And by 'trunk' I'm referring to a tree trunk because it's brown the same as faecal matter. I don't mean somebody tightening their grip during masturbation while they do a shit - but who knows, maybe some people get off awn that in more ways than one (or two, uh-hagh. Number twos).

What can one expect to find in these ASMR videos herhre on YouToob? Well, I've done a little research into this as it becomes rahther tedious ahfter a while, there are people - usually women - who perform a relaxation technique from a firhrst-person perspective, right. I mean it's from your perspective because you're the 'client'. They gently whisper the actions they're about to do and ahsk questions. In some cases they rhythmically tap their fingertips awn a glahss jar, sometimes they eat food slowly nearhr a state-of-the-art microphone, or they lick a microphone that's in the shape of an earhr. *stoic expression* uh-hagh, no, really, the lahst one is true. And sometimes among all the family-friendly material you have related videos of women sucking bananas or lollipops or playing the role of a therapist and then surprising you with an instruction to unbutton your pants (that's 'trousers' for my British viewers, but your pants/underwearhr would also come off, too) and then masturbate, which sometimes is accompanied by their countdown. A countdown for what? Erm, your hearhrtbeat, of course. Uh-hagh. Ahm, this is something I heard about in a Jordnpetrsn video, by the way. I was only getting instructions on how to close the video.

Now, some of you are wondering: is ASMR real? Well, there's naht a laht of research or much scientific dahcumentations awn ASMR, but it is real, yes. Realer than real itself.

What are the personality factors of ASMR? Again, there's no chahnce of there being a nimiety of information into ASMR at this current time because we don't completely understand the condition to an extensive level. But *brushes fingertips on the screen* relax and listen to my soothing voice. Are you all nice and comfy? Coohwl. You're going to take a ride across a tranquil lake awn a C.A.N.O.E. *Switches to ordinary tone* Cahnscientiousness, Agreeableness, Neurahticism, Openness (to experience), and Extroversion. Or as I like to put it: Can Alysha Newman Obliterate Expectations. ASMR listeners vary in their cahnscientiousness, so it's hard to evaluate. They seem to be agreeable in the sense of obeying what they're told to do in these ASMR videos. Now, neurahticism is an interesting aspect because it's said that people use ASMR to help overcome depression, melanchahly orhr anxiety, so I think it's right to gauge this at mid range. They seem to be open to experience, but it's naht clearhr how intellectually curious they are. And again, it's hard to tell how extroverted this demographic forhr ASRM videos is when the research is quite limited.

Those are my tharghts and facts about ASMR. Now I know that whenever I upload a video about scientifically-informed cahntent there will be a variety of cahmments. As an incredibly small minority of you mean assholes do, please refrain from referring to me as 'Dr Grandiose Narcissist'. Just because I upload videos almost every day and am cahnfident enough to speak awn camera doesn't mean I love the sound of my own voice or the individual staring back at me when I edit my videos, okay. You don't even know what a narcissist is, and as an expert in mental health I can cahnfidently say you're a psychopath who's jealous of my vahst erudition. Ah-hagh, I'm only joking with you. As always, I hope you found my explanation for ASMR to be interesting. Thanks for watching.

[DangledTeeth]

*Drums fingers with his jaw rested on the palm of his upright hand and forearm*

Oh! Hello, this is Dr Grande. Today's question ahsks: what are the mental health factors and personality profile of infomercial salesman Aussie Davro? Just a reminder: Aussie Davro and his film and production crew are real people, so I am naht diagno-sing anybody in this video, only speculating on what he's selling in a situation like this.

If you enjoy this video, like, subscribe, Patreon. I'll put the............... link in the description for this video.

Very little is known about Aussie Davro so it'll be rahther difficult to evaluate his personality profile, but I'll work with what I have. Now, for ahbvious reasons, he's called 'Aussie' because he's Australian, right. But that's naht all, however. He resembles a British TV actorhr and comedian called Bahbby Davro, who was once put in starcks and it tahppled over. Ow! That'll leave a marhrk. He resembles Bahbby Davro, but he also resembles Bill O'Reilly. I guess Aus O'Reilly doesn't have a ring to it.

He firhrst made his debut awn a cahmedy forum for halfwits and was advertising and demonstrating a revolutionary state-of-the-art DIY peripheral called The Paintfucker Deluxe. It's believed he was firhrst seen awn late night/early morning television when the channels close down and show a range of crappy prahducts that are about as reliable as a cahncaved bee's ass. You sometimes get these mediocre prahducts awn QVC and JML. You know what I'm getting at: microwave deep-fat fryers and laser-precision can openers, which seem to worhrk a handful of times but rapidly became inadequate. They're better ahff selling cahncrete tents, sieve frying pans, solar-powered solar power and Sam Worthington. It's the kind of shit that seems near-perfect and immensely convenient. Well, the Paintfucker Deluxe would get five-star reviews if it's jarb was to be lousy, uh-hagh. The testimonials were naht as pahsitive as the ones from Only Fools and Hearses.

Ahfter several infomercials, it appeared that Aussie Davro had been mhrdhrrd by a fictional bio-weapon assassin known as Mr X from the Resident Evil franchise, right. Aus' cranium was pahpped open like a cherry tomayto upahn succumbing to the might of Mr X's vice-like grip. Why Aussie Davro was targeted to be killed is anyone's guess. Angry customer? I don't think we'll ever know.

Quite surprisingly, he appearhred awn Dr Peterson's webcam chat - when Jordnpetrsn attempted to have a discussion with Dr Rufus Berkbridge at the Invisible Institution of Nothing - and Aussie Davro tried to entice Peterson with a range of shitty gizmos and Peterson declined then ahsked Aus if he would put awn a wig and cup his pectorals like they were 'tits', causing him to abruptly end the chat with Peterson.

Aussie Davro - or Aus Davvers as he sometimes called himself - sold variations of the aforementioned Paintfucker Deluxe in both large and small sizes. There also was a DMX Leafblower which was officially endorsed by the brash dog-voiced rap artiste. Now, some of you will connect Dominic Mulholland Xavier with Mr X, the fleshy and ghoulish terminator. because of the 'X Gon' give it to ya' gameplay cahmpilation clips. I never (I mean the manufacturers) played RE(make)2 before including the legendary emcee as a one-off spokesperson for his prahduct. I - err, the manufacturers - tharght of a prahduct that's represented by a celebrity or some kind, so they tharght that a loudmouth rapper would be a great gimmick.

Other prahducts were released, for example: Celebrity Budgie Smugglers (which is slang forhr swimming trunks) with Joe Swash, Will Self and Harold Bishop's faces awn them. In my case they'd have to make a customised pairhr of Hawk Smugglers. And there was Deborah Ann(droid) Gaetano whose specifications are spoken of as though it's a cyborg, naht a droid. I've never bought any of these things and I don't intend to.

The personality profile? Again, it's difficult to evaluate his characteristics and behaviourhr based awn hardly any background info, but I'll attempt an O.C.E.A.N estimation. His openness (to experience) seems to be low. I'm naht surhre how intellectually curious he is about arhrt and culture, but if you want to say that a Turhrd Whacker is art, then I guess his OtE is mid range. Cahnscientousness? I'd scorhre this at being mid range herhre; he's mindful of the prahducts' specifications and what their functions are, and he tharghtful enough to present an enthusiastic and informative pitch. His extroversion is high, we see him talk a laht, which can be expected of hosts and salespeople - he exhibits a hint of sub-clinical psychopathy as he has no cahnscience about what he's selling and how it'll affect buyers, and he's quite relentless in his presentations. He doesn't seem to be agreeable, given that he's worked his way through drama school and doubtless farght his way to the tarp - Aussie Davro won't settle for less. His neurahticism? This seems to be very low, which can be expected of people with any level of psychopathy, right. He didn't seem particularly terrified when Mr X confronted him and crushed his life.

Those are my tharghts on a talkative guy in Australia who attempts to sell a hunk of fucking trash. Please put any opinions in the form of a cahmment underneath this video, they always generate more cahmments and replies. I'll be sure to like several of the cahmments submitted by my lovable fans. As always, I hope you found my analysis of Aussie Davro to be interesting. Thanks for watching.

[DangledTeeth]

Hello, and Season's Greetings to you all around the world. This is Dr Grande. Today's question is: can I analyse the mental health and personality profile of Santa Claus?. Just a reminder, Santa Claus is a real person, so I'm naht diagnosing him or his reindeer in this video (oranyothervideo), only speculating on what could be happening a situation like Christmas.

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Kris 'Santa Claus' Kringle, known as Father Christmas in the United Kingdom and Sinterklass in the Netherlands, was borhrn, erm, December one many years ago. Santa Claus is a hardworking, altruistic humanitarian who delivers presents to well-behaved children and lumps of shit for naughty kids. He, quite remarkably, manages to trespass into a billion people's prahperties veeya a chimney in orhrder to leave presents underneath their tree.

Santa and his helpful elves worhrk diligently around the clock duhring the hahlday season, while people watch animated movies and National Lampoon. Human Rights campaigners and cahmmunist groups have opposed the hahliday season forhr their belief that Santa is an exploitative asshole who lets his elves work in a nearhr-dilapidated warehouse and prahfits off their tiresome worhrk, and that Christmas is a stoopid, shamefully consoomerist, bourgeois hahliday that's a derisive up-yours to all the proletariat.

Whenever I evaluate personality I usually use the five-factor mahdel which I remember through the acronym O.C.E.A.N, but for this particular video I'm going to use a seasonal T.I.N.S.E.L - Tharghtfulness, Intelligence, Neurahticism, Stubbornness, Extroversion and Lateral thinking. Santa Claus is a tharghtful individual; he does spend a good month directing his workforhrce to ensure all families' presents are shipped out on time. Santa scorhres highly in intelligence as you'd need to be relatively smarhrt for a gargantuan tahsk like processing presents. Santa's neurahticism is very low, as he's always depicted as a jahlly man who never loses his coohwl. He appears to be stubborn in terhrms of his jarb, always refusing to take a break even if it means he'll tire himself out. Claus' extroversion is mid-range because he's naht very talkative - or at least we don't see or hearhr much of his dialahgue - as he's rahther secretive and nocturnal. He scores highly forhr lateral thinking as he's always creative in his tharght prahcess.

Those are my tharghts on Santa Claus. There are those of you who will agree with me or disagree with me. Please put any opinions in the cahmments section, they always generate an interesting cahmments section of dialahgue. As always, Christmas comes around once a year, and I hope you found my analysis to be interesting. Merry Christmas.