Author Topic: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.  (Read 5244 times)

Better Midlands

  • I'm not internationally known
Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #30 on: March 13, 2020, 01:24:33 PM »
Every second cunt

No wonder we don't get many magician's assistants posting on CAB anymore.

Fry

  • BIG UNIT
Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #31 on: March 13, 2020, 01:43:22 PM »
It's casual friday and I'm wearing an old pair of jeans. Completely forgot they have a massive rip in the crotch and now a bollock is hanging out of my baggy boxers onto the computer chair. Normally I wouldn't mind or actually consider this a good thing. But now I am worried. can a bollock get covid?

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #32 on: March 13, 2020, 01:53:05 PM »
It's casual friday and I'm wearing an old pair of jeans. Completely forgot they have a massive rip in the crotch and now a bollock is hanging out of my baggy boxers onto the computer chair. Normally I wouldn't mind or actually consider this a good thing. But now I am worried. can a bollock get covid?

I have similar woes, I'm wearing freshly washed jeans that are a bit tight and riding low. After slouching on the pleather sofa at lunch I saw two strips of sweat, not unlike a 'tramp stamp' on the sofa where the top of my 'arris had been in direct contact with it.

Still, could be worse, one of my pals works with a bloke who managed to get skid marks on his office chair.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • Bollocked for being so weird and unpleasant
Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #33 on: March 13, 2020, 02:45:45 PM »
It's casual friday and I'm wearing an old pair of jeans. Completely forgot they have a massive rip in the crotch and now a bollock is hanging out of my baggy boxers onto the computer chair. Normally I wouldn't mind or actually consider this a good thing. But now I am worried. can a bollock get covid?

Shouldn't you be more worried about exposing yourself in the workplace?

Pingers

  • Basic human
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • In the land of the bald, the follicled man is king
Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #34 on: March 13, 2020, 05:27:27 PM »
I really thought this was going to be a clip of Fry's mum whizzing herself off to some online grot. Disappointed.

Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #35 on: March 13, 2020, 06:07:19 PM »
I really thought this was going to be a clip of Fry's mum whizzing herself off to some online grot. Disappointed.
Fucking LOL

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

  • Living proof of everything wrong with the world
Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #36 on: March 13, 2020, 10:43:56 PM »
Me: washes hands till contact dermatitis

Also me: puts dog up to face

Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #37 on: March 13, 2020, 11:04:03 PM »
Let's not forget that the vast majority of people have practically zero concern for their health at the best of times - smoking, eating and drinking too much, no exercise whatsoever etc.

That's a good point, I had a friend message me about it tonight vaguely looking for advice. A guy who has been ripping the arse out of the bevvy and shite food for well over a decade now and has shown little to no concern for his health during that time.

Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #38 on: March 13, 2020, 11:15:37 PM »
im saving all my snot to fire in a big cannon at my nearest old peoples home

Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #39 on: March 13, 2020, 11:43:41 PM »
I'm really dirty and I spread things, no helping it really. The interface you share with society is necessarily complex and, for me, chronic poor hygiene is integral to that. It facilitates much of what I do, in addition to many marketable physical properties, it bestows upon me a great societal power. I am not allowed in food preparation areas. The list is endless.

For me, this Coronavirus is Brucie's true form, he's come back seeking vengeance and I am his foul disciple. That man deserves his revenge, and we deserve to die.

Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #40 on: March 14, 2020, 01:14:57 PM »
Walked to Chinatown, everyone's wearing a mask. I'd just eaten some food I'd found in a bin, as is my wont- oranges, grapefruit, bread rolls. I'm gonna be a SuperSpreader, there's no doubt.

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #41 on: March 15, 2020, 07:14:48 PM »
On another positive note, if I was a criminal, right now, I'd be planning my worst outrage ever.  You could nick anything and get away with it.  Always see opportunity in adversity, that's what the borises chant.  Let's have some of theirs then.  And let it be mighty stuff.

Told you so.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-51897201

sirhenry

  • That worked out well...
Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #42 on: March 15, 2020, 10:06:45 PM »
I've been indoors for two weeks.
This doesn't appear to match your personal text. I do hope you haven't been incapacitated, only to recover 28 Days Later...

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • Bollocked for being so weird and unpleasant
Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #43 on: March 16, 2020, 08:58:38 AM »
im saving all my snot to fire in a big cannon at my nearest old peoples home

The young Whitney Houston considers rewrite.

Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #44 on: March 16, 2020, 09:27:42 AM »
Cunts on Twitter doing the Corona Challenge by licking toilet seats in public places, especially airplanes. It would be Darwinian law in action if it weren't other people they are likely to kill rather than themselves
https://mobile.twitter.com/CashNastyGaming/status/1239039704181493761

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #45 on: March 16, 2020, 10:21:10 AM »
This doesn't appear to match your personal text. I do hope you haven't been incapacitated, only to recover 28 Days Later...

Yeah, fraid I have been as incapacitated as fuck but now rallying like Sébastien Loeb.  How are you btw?  You have no idea how happy I am to read you!

Fry

  • BIG UNIT
Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #46 on: March 16, 2020, 10:55:34 AM »
Cunts on Twitter doing the Corona Challenge by licking toilet seats in public places, especially airplanes. It would be Darwinian law in action if it weren't other people they are likely to kill rather than themselves
https://mobile.twitter.com/CashNastyGaming/status/1239039704181493761

Licking a public toilet seat, filming it and uploading to the internet for attention. You know when you do something embarrassing and, even decades after, you remember it at like 11pm and you can't go to sleep? This is going to be one of hers.

Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #47 on: March 16, 2020, 10:57:08 AM »
Cunts on Twitter doing the Corona Challenge by licking toilet seats in public places, especially airplanes. It would be Darwinian law in action if it weren't other people they are likely to kill rather than themselves
https://mobile.twitter.com/CashNastyGaming/status/1239039704181493761
the only person i see doing that is that crazy person who desperate to be social media famous and has been on tv saying so

oh and that japanese guy who pulls tablecloths off his nude body. but he's fine by me

SpiderChrist

  • Be still, Taggart
Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #48 on: March 16, 2020, 11:41:20 AM »
Work laptops being handed out to everybody who hasn't got one, office is quiet like working on a Sunday. Rumour mill says the building will be closing before the end of the week. About fucking time, too.

sirhenry

  • That worked out well...
Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #49 on: March 16, 2020, 12:29:02 PM »
Yeah, fraid I have been as incapacitated as fuck but now rallying like Sébastien Loeb.  How are you btw?  You have no idea how happy I am to read you!
Sorry to hear that; hope it hasn't been too painful and will leave no lasting damage.

I'm having a wonderful time. I've taken the uncharacteristically masculine way of dealing with the current panic - stopped shaving and brushing/cutting my hair and dug out an old, ragged coat. It means I don't have to self-isolate as everyone gives me a wide berth and holds their breath as they pass. And I don't have to go to work any more as I had a massive difference of opinion with the boss - I consider doing greenwash for Goldman Sachs to fit the definition of 'sellout' but she doesn't. Still not sure on her opinion on 'reputational damage'...

So I'm spending my days designing and making bar games for a local pub in exchange for unlimited beers while I wait for the next tailor-made job to fall in my lap. Or society to collapse. Or death.

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #50 on: March 16, 2020, 01:34:06 PM »
That sounds like you're making limoncello with those lemons.  How lovely.  No damage is lasting, ultimately.  Heheh.

Dex Sawash

  • Silver Member
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Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #51 on: March 16, 2020, 03:37:56 PM »


oh and that japanese guy who pulls tablecloths off his nude body. but he's fine by me

Just going to drop that there without a link?

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

  • Nothing is ever as good or bad as you think.
    • http://www.last.fm/user/georgethebadger/
Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #52 on: March 16, 2020, 04:19:06 PM »

sirhenry

  • That worked out well...
Re: Oh you're all definitely getting the 'vid.
« Reply #53 on: March 16, 2020, 06:31:49 PM »
That sounds like you're making limoncello with those lemons.  How lovely.  No damage is lasting, ultimately.  Heheh.
Except, possibly/probably, to the pub. As discussed in t'other thread there's a good chance it won't survive the tumbleweed weeks ahead. So I lose a hobby and free beer. Ho hum.

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