CORONAVIRUS 2020: RHYTHM OF THE DEATH THE SECOND

[Fambo Number Mive]

UK invited to take part in EU ventilator scheme, refuses. Now I know we are no longer EU members but surely joining such a scheme would help people in the UK?

The government is facing a backlash from MPs for not joining an EU scheme to get extra ventilators during the coronavirus outbreak.

The bloc has said the UK can take part in the project, which will use the EU's buying power to purchase more stock.

But a No 10 spokesman said the UK was "making [its] own efforts"...

No doubt some Leavers will think the government is doing the right thing.

[Hand Solo]

Giving new meaning to the phrase 'vent act'.

[jobotic]

Why would we get involved with the EU? We've left get over it.

Much better to pay brexiters and tory donors like Dyson to do it. There's cash to be made here!

[idunnosomename]

A british ventilator is just a tin of condensed milk with a picture of a bulldog on it

[BlodwynPig]

Graph of the day (I thought I'd get back into R again)



The red dots are scaled UK data versus Total World data (black circles). The bottom right red dot is today's date, which does not have deaths yet

[Dewt]

If this was a zombie thing you'd need the y-axis to go negative

[Fambo Number Mive]

Bad news for the British Pangolin Society: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-52048195

[Buelligan]

Dance, little pig, dance.

[Dewt]

Bad news for the British Pangolin Society: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-52048195

If my job was "journalist" I would probably spend some time to learn that COVID-19 is not the virus.

[Blue Jam]

Can't get my fucking tramadol all week, absolute shambles, the withdrawal is a total fucker.

Sorry to hear that Bazza, hope it's sorted soon.

Phoned my GP yesterday to get a repeat prescription. Went in today and saw they were selling 250ml bottles of hand sanitiser... for £40. Bought some lip balm and said "Don't worry, I'll pay by contactless" and got told "Mimimum on cards is £5". Miserable gits... Then got home and found they'd given me the right medication, but the wrong dose. Double the dose. Of an antidepressant. Now got to make a totally unnecessary extra trip to get the correct dose... Great work guys.

[BlodwynPig]

Sorry to hear that Bazza, hope it's sorted soon.

Phoned my GP yesterday to get a repeat prescription. Went in today and saw they were selling 250ml bottles of hand sanitiser... for £40. Bought some lip balm and said "Don't worry, I'll pay by contactless" and got told "Mimimum on cards is £5". Miserable gits... Then got home and found they'd given me the right medication, but the wrong dose. Double the dose. Of an antidepressant. Now got to make a totally unnecessary extra trip to get the correct dose... Great work guys.

Are you living in a different world?

- Going into a GP?!?
- Accepting the minimum payment on cards shite - you should have told them to fuck off and paid contactless
- And you are GOING BACK? Phone the fucks, tell them to courier the correct medicine

[H-O-W-L]

GP has now prescribed me steroids for my asthma, which she says bumps me into the "OH FUCK" group for COVID so now I am signed off for twelve weeks and get paid for it. Score!

[H-O-W-L]

On the downside I am coughing like a cowboy with TB every day and I probably will never be able to do sports in my life now.

[Zetetic]

Graph of the day (I thought I'd get back into R again)

Have you got COVID-19?
https://ggplot2.tidyverse.org/reference/labs.html

[pancreas]

Can't get my fucking tramadol all week, absolute shambles, the withdrawal is a total fucker.

There are places on the internet you can get these things.

[EOLAN]

Will this clapping for our NHS turn into another Poppy Festival. People being called out for not getting into their Sunday best on every Thursday evening to show their respect to the brave NHS. People noting who was tweeting during those minutes and giving them a barrage of abuse. Comments like "After all the sacrifices they make, this is the least they deserves" by people not willing to take an easy hit on taxes to boost the NHS and give out loudly to young overly stressed employees in supermarkets.

[BlodwynPig]

Have you got COVID-19?
https://ggplot2.tidyverse.org/reference/labs.html

c'mon, its been a while and fuck if I'm putting more effort for you ;)

[Blue Jam]

Are you living in a different world?

- Going into a GP?!?
- Accepting the minimum payment on cards shite - you should have told them to fuck off and paid contactless
- And you are GOING BACK? Phone the fucks, tell them to courier the correct medicine

For the record I didn't go into my GP's surgery, I had a phone consultation and they sent my prescription to the pharmacy nextdoor. The surgery has been great, it's the pharmacy that is the problem.

I paid for the lipbalm with coins, which I rubbed with hand sanitiser before putting them on the counter. Perhaps I should have coughed on them instead. Then coughed on all the £40 hand sanitiser.

[Norton Canes]

UK to 'consider' EU ventilator scheme after all

The UK government was being hit with criticism earlier for not joining a EU scheme to get ventilators to the health providers that need them.

But it seems like it was just a case of the invite being lost in the mail.

The prime minister's spokesman said this morning that the UK was "making it's own efforts" to source more ventilators.

But this statement has now been updated to say: "Owing to an initial communication problem, the UK did not receive an invitation in time to join in four joint procurements in response to the coronavirus pandemic."

The spokesman says the European Commission has confirmed the UK is eligible to take part in any further procurements though during the so-called transition period after Brexit.

So, he adds: "We will consider participating in future procurement schemes on the basis of public health requirements at the time."

Fuck you, Johnson, Cummings. Die of this.

[Buelligan]

They're such cunts aren't they.  Literally putting optics before reason and lying when the optics don't work for them.  Decisions made on the basis of tribalism rather than to benefit the critically ill.  Disgraceful.

[Cloud]

More u turns than a dodgy plumber this lot.  At least they seem to get on the right track EVENTUALLY, but it's the EVENTUALLY that we can't afford at the moment...

Positive side it'd affect a lot of Brexiteers.

[jobotic]

Are the BBC taking that "we never got the email" shit at face value? Well fair enough then.

[weekender]

To be fair, they are in charge of tribes exhibiting tribal behaviour.

[BlodwynPig]

Once this is over, RIOTS!

[GMTV]

Imagine this shower running the show pre Internet and rolling news. They'd be making all these batshit decisions and there would be no comeback for weeks or months afterwards.

[BlodwynPig]

Points of View

[Twit 2]

Blah-flu-body-die-er

[Puce Moment]

Blah-flu-body-die-er

I got this!

[Blue Jam]

Once this is over, RIOTS!

When the pubs reopen, certainly. It's going to be like St. Patrick's Day x the end of Dry January x Mad Friday x a million.

I hope Wetherspoons is heaving and a Legend Gary impales Tim Martin on a yard of ale.

[olliebean]

Will this clapping for our NHS turn into another Poppy Festival. People being called out for not getting into their Sunday best on every Thursday evening to show their respect to the brave NHS. People noting who was tweeting during those minutes and giving them a barrage of abuse. Comments like "After all the sacrifices they make, this is the least they deserves" by people not willing to take an easy hit on taxes to boost the NHS and give out loudly to young overly stressed employees in supermarkets.

I didn't know anything about it. All I knew was suddenly a load of people were clapping and whooping from their front doors and windows for no reason that I could see, and I suddenly felt even more left out of things than I usually do. Looked on facebook afterwards and the first post I could see about it from my friends was only about 3 hours previously, so there must have been loads of people who knew nothing about it, assuming I'm not the only person who doesn't obsessively check social media all day long.

Frankly I'd sooner people had shown their respect and appreciation for the NHS last December by not voting for the fucking Tories, but I'm just a hopeless idealist.