CORONAVIRUS 2020: RHYTHM OF THE DEATH THE SECOND

[Dewt]

thinks it's easy for people to go find work that pays a livable wage but can't fathom how to get another fucking bike.

[Captain Crunch]

the political editor of the mail on sunday

Is that who it is?  I just assumed it was some oily goon who'd come 9th on The Apprentice. 

[Buelligan]

Fuck you Harry Cole.

[greencalx]

Doesn't he know that bike shops are still open, and he'll probably be able to claim it on his home insurance? Also other forms of exercise are available.

[weekender]

First proper signs of constipation today.

Insert your own joke, preferably something about me being ahead of the curve of the u-bend.

You've all got this to come, don't say you weren't warned.

Panic-buying of fibre-based products next for me Clive.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/constipation/#overview

[Fambo Number Mive]

None of the antibody tests ordered by the government work, according to the Murdoch Times.

[BlodwynPig]

None of the antibody tests ordered by the government work, according to the Murdoch Times.

C4 talking about having a euthanasia convo with your parents over skype

End o' times

[BlodwynPig]

Thorntons going with

"This Easter Pass the 'Vid On"

In their redundant advert - For Chrisssssake!

[massive bereavement]

C4 talking about having a euthanasia convo with your parents over skype

End o' times

Do we reckon the Chicxulub asteroid impact was this bad?

[Dr Rock]

This is going down in history forever isn't it, all over the world. 2020 will be one of those years that everyone is taught about in schools for decades or more to come. Living through a huge moment in history, great isn't it?




(no it's not)

[Dewt]

Everything my mother does seems to follow National Trust guidelines, including the way she quarantines

[imitationleather]

Where does she poo?

[jobotic]

terrible

[gib]

This is going down in history forever isn't it, all over the world. 2020 will be one of those years that everyone is taught about in schools for decades or more to come. Living through a huge moment in history, great isn't it?




(no it's not)

They thought it would be one of those years in 1914 and 1939 too.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Where does she poo?

Terrible

Loving these avantgarde dad gags

[idunnosomename]

in the basket and over the fence

[kalowski]

terrible

Brilliant.

[Captain Z]

They thought it would be one of those years in 1914 and 1939 too.

So on both occasions that they thought 2020 would be one of those years, a world war started?

Strange coincidence.

[Uncle TechTip]

People were saying this about 2016, I'm not concerned.

[Dewt]

I hope Shakespear's Sister is okay.

[Dewt]

And Alicia's Attic. Has anybody checked up on Alisha's Attic?

[Cold Meat Platter]

What the fucking fuck is happening with fucking 4 Non Blondes

[H-O-W-L]

And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside

[H-O-W-L]

wait fuck

[Ray Travez]

Tesco has introduced a one-way system in its aisles, because of course viruses only travel in one direction, and everyone walks at exactly the same speed. It's enabled a bunch of retail martinets. My wife was told off by another customer for walking the 'wrong' way down an aisle. She told them politely to sod off.

Rule-lovers love this shit. As far as I can see, at best it will make Absolutely No Difference At All to rates of disease transmission within the store. At worst, an imperceptibly slight increase, due to everyone having to walk twice as far to get to the item they want to buy.

[Buelligan]

I hate to be a stickler for the rules, don't you think your post would've been better in the dedicated Grocery Shopping thread, Ray Travez?  Try to remember for next time.

[MrMrs]

I can see the purpose of the lines - means people aren't going back and forth etc. Makes sense, but then people...

[Buelligan]

I've already mentioned it politely.  This conversation should be confined to the appropriate thread.  Thank you for your cooperation at this difficult time.

[MrMrs]

Absolutely not

[BlodwynPig]

I've already mentioned it politely.  This conversation should be confined to the appropriate thread.  Thank you for your cooperation at this difficult time.

I'm down to my last crumb...please Miss, have some mercy