CORONAVIRUS 2020: RHYTHM OF THE DEATH THE SECOND

[weekender]

Even though she said any questions, just ask.

Ask her if Orangutangs can swim, I've always wanted to know.

[jobotic]

Anyone know why there are fireworks going off?  Is it some sort of religious festival today?

There are no fireworks. You're delirious with the fever.

[weekender]

Fever, cough, headache, sore throat and spluttering away like a total fucking airhead.

Might have some bad news for you.

[bgmnts]

Ask her if Orangutangs can swim, I've always wanted to know.

Like most apes, they're passable but not confident so stay clear of anything beyond paddling pool level.

Imagine a baby with weird fluffy, orange hair.

Imagine a baby Phil Collins.

[bgmnts]

So we've gone from "lots of your family will die" laissez faire attitude to just now banning mass gatherings.

All over the fucking shop.

[weekender]

Well you're not making any sense.

A baby Phil Collins with weird fluffy orange hair that is passable but not confident at swimming and only when they're at something mildly above paddling pool levels?

What on earth are you talking about?

I think you have a fever and should self-isolate.

[bgmnts]

A baby phil collins cannot swim.
An orangutan could swim but would not really want to.

A baby phil collins would remind me of a cute orangutan.

Phil Collins can swim but would choose to lounge at the paddling pool.


We're all going to die.

Here endeth the lesson.

[weekender]

How do you know all these swimming facts about Phil Collins, baby Phil Collinses, and orangutans?

Are you sure you haven't been infected?

[Sheffield Wednesday]

Might have some bad news for you.

Not me, that dumb cunt.

[bgmnts]

How do you know all these swimming facts about Phil Collins, baby Phil Collinses, and orangutans?

Are you sure you haven't been infected?

The scientific method.

I may be infected.

[weekender]

Not me, that dumb cunt.

I have read your comments back and appreciate your position now.

Out of interest, do you know if orangutans can swim?

[jobotic]

So we've gone from "lots of your family will die" laissez faire attitude to just now banning mass gatherings.

All over the fucking shop.

Perhaps they are anticipating protests after they let our families die.



And baby orangutangs can no longer swim in groups of over 500

[Sheffield Wednesday]

I have read your comments back and appreciate your position now.

Out of interest, do you know if orangutans can swim?

They will sink to aqueous doom.

[weekender]

Perhaps they are anticipating protests after they let our families die.

And baby orangutangs can no longer swim in groups of over 500

This person gets it, love you.

[Sheffield Wednesday]

Captain Cunny does a U-turn cos the Queen said fuck dat noise.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-51882897

[Zero Gravitas]

edit: eh up, we're not even on there

Weirdly we were on there until today......!

The same time that board was initially made the platform posted this blog article: https://www.esri.com/arcgis-blog/products/product/mapping/mapping-coronavirus-responsibly/

Short version

- don't use red
- don't use circles
- don't use geometric country centers
- don't use absolute numbers
- don't use non-equal area projections

John's Hopkins breaks all of those guidelines and is the most popularly passed around link, and indeed is featured on their homepage.

[weekender]

In total, 11 people have died with the virus in the UK, while the number of confirmed cases rose to 798 on Friday.

Look, I don't want to appear dismissive, but in percentage terms out of a population of around 60 million, that's not actually a lot, is it?

[weekender]

https://www.esri.com/arcgis-blog/products/product/mapping/mapping-coronavirus-responsibly/

Wanted me to accept cookies!  Into my home and everything!

No thank you.

[Zero Gravitas]

Look, I don't want to appear dismissive, but in percentage terms out of a population of around 60 million, that's not actually a lot, is it?

Give it a while, if you look at the world population we've only juuust started to climb the exciting part of the curve, and the UK is a week or so behind that even.

[idunnosomename]

god i am fucking praying so hard that the queen gets it and suffers before she DIES

[weekender]

Give it a while, if you look at the world population we've only juuust started to climb the exciting part of the curve, and the UK is a week or so behind that even.

"Exciting part of the curve" made me lol.

You'll be suggesting that we can explain compound interest to the masses next.

[Zero Gravitas]

Nah it'll be a late night speedball exit for Liz, just like grandpa.

[weekender]

"like grandpa was supposed to be, but the 99 year old racist greek fucker survived"

[jobotic]

Times says police to be given emergency powers to detain suspected coronavirus carriers.

Here we go, get your papers ready. Of course, it's hysterical to call these people fascists.

[GMTV]

I'm no fan of the government, but I hate when the press run with stories criticising the response no matter what it is. There will always be someone pissed off this is a situation where it'll be impossible to keep everyone happy.

I'd like to know what the moron journalist fucks would propose we should do ahead of the expertise of the NHS and the advice of a variety of scientists from many different disciplines.

[weekender]

I'd like to know what the moron journalist fucks would propose we should do ahead of the expertise of the NHS and the advice of a variety of scientists from many different disciplines.

I'd like to know too, but I'm fucked if I'm giving you a story GMTV, if that is your real name.

[easytarget]

da da DA da da DA dda da
da da DA da DA DA dA
da ssda da d aDA DA D da da
CORONA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

C.O.V.I.D nineteen
C.O.V.I.D nineteen
C.O.V.I.D nineteen
C.O.V.I.D nineteen

We didn't start the fire

[Kryton]

Just been to Asda, several empty aisles. Madness.

[Ferris]

Alright, we should adopt the measures of either Huangshi, Guangii or Walsall.

If only we had a CaBber from Walsall

[weekender]

If only we had a CaBber from Walsall

Alright Mr IP Address, where am I from?