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March 28, 2024, 02:38:46 PM

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How are you opening doors?

Started by Norton Canes, March 16, 2020, 04:44:56 PM

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Norton Canes

I don't mean metaphorically, though of course we live in a world of unparalleled opportunity. How do you actually tackle the opening of a simple door, now that every handle, latch and knob (yes, I know) is a potential colony of lovely COVID-19 microorganisms?

Doors you have to push, obviously that's not an issue - they can be shouldered, elbowed, kicked or propelled forward in any number of ways that don't involve having to actually hold on to any part. But if you need to pull (I know), it's a whole new lever game. You've got to grab something to get traction. How do you protect against infection? Do you cover your hand, maybe with a sleeve? That's just creating a little sub-hamlet of coronamicrobes which will stay there until you get your jumper/jacket etc. into the wash. Do you wipe the part of the door you're going to touch? Every time? Apart from the number of wipes you'd have to carry round, what are people going to think? I mean I know it's potentially a matter of life and death but for goodness sake have some decorum, people might get the impression you're deranged. My strategy then, over the last few days, has been to hook my little finger round door handles when I pull them so at least I'm not using a digit that will later be used to hold food. Unfortunately that tactic wrought a terrible cost on my tendons, however, which are now really aching. I mean, properly painfully sore. I'll have to stop before I do myself some permanent damage.

So now, I don't know. Seriously thinking of fashioning a little hook made out of duct tape and coat hanger wire, which I can crook around the handle and tug downward (I know). Who knows, there might even be a market for them. They could be the next must-have accessory: the gentleman's door-crook, handmade by artisans in Hoxton. In episodes of Antiques Roadshow hundreds of years hence, experts will be valuing finely-wrought examples at thousands of pounds.

There must be a more practical and sensible way, though?

Inspector Norse



Buelligan

I'm a lady, I never open doors.

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien


Blumf



Shortly after, he realised he was on the pull side.

Cuellar

I am simply not leaving the house

alan nagsworth

Same way I always do: have a screaming tantrum until my butler gets his fucking arse in gear

Buelligan

[tag]Michael Caine shrugs[/tag]

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Our work has a contactless card system but yeah, the handle still needs touching. Sleeving it where possible.

Lots of hand washing I guess.

Buelligan

Why can't most of them be simply left open?  Because it's dangerous and someone might die?

Shoulders?-Stomach!

''You don't use doors?!''*

*still one of my favourite Peep Show lines despite being uttered by one of the most obscure insignificant one off parts.

Marner and Me

I'll kick yer mams doors right off their fucking hinges.

Alberon

I avoid using my hands by gripping the door handle with my teeth.

I'm smart me.

idunnosomename

with my hands like a normal person

Blumf

Quote from: Buelligan on March 16, 2020, 05:55:28 PM
Why can't most of them be simply left open?  Because it's dangerous and someone might die?

Would let the draft in. Someone might catch their death of cold.

buttgammon

I've perfected a system to get out of the work bathroom hands free. Unlock the top padlock before washing hands, then open door with elbow, close with sleeve, open second doors with elbow and close by gently pulling the top of the handle with the inside of the elbow. Takes about ten seconds tops and looks really cool.

dissolute ocelot

Left hand for dirty things, right hand for picking at facial features. The Indians have it sorted.