LOOK AT ME!!

[Pingers]

We are all familiar with male "look at me" behaviour, but there is a lad in my neighbourhood, about 16 years old, who is a particularly stellar exponent. 30 metre journey to school to collect his kid sister - on a Swegway. Look at me! Goes everywhere with a Bluetooth speaker playing his shit music top volume. Look at me! He outdid himself today though, walking down the main street - wearing boxing gloves. For the love of God won't someone LOOK AT ME!?

[madhair60]

any time you see cyclist with no hands on the bars. yeah alright cunt

[Marner and Me]

any time you see cyclist with no hands on the bars. yeah alright cunt

Just because you can't do it :p

I did see some berk on a unicycle once.

[Consignia]

I remember on one my first days walking to Uni, I spotted a fella commuting on a unicycle. He was clearly struggling to make forward progress, but at least he was getting attention.

[Endicott]

Do these types ever eat a school canteen's worth of ketchup and mustard sachets?

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

We'll miss them when they're gone.

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

Keep it foolish.

[madhair60]

Just because you can't do it :p

Of course I can do it, it's just that when I do, I fall down and am badly hurt.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

We'll miss them when they're gone.

Cat Steven's let himself go.

[The Bumlord]

Keep it foolish.

Well fucking futile.

[petril]

fat old husband walkin' over

[Small Man Big Horse]

Of course I can do it, it's just that when I do, I fall down and am badly hurt.

Deeply upset that the underlined bits weren't links to Kittens-esque videos.

[alan nagsworth]

This is basically anyone who owns a pug isn't it? Or any type of dog that has trouble breathing or eating due to monstrous inbreeding.

Actually just any type of dog.

[poodlefaker]

I still *almost* think this about people using  telephones out of doors, or wearing  a watch while swimming, but I'm getting over it. Anyone playing loud music in a car though, with the windows open.

[likeAndrewNeilonatrain]

(Bye bye)

[BlodwynPig]

*Geri Halliwell files a lawsuit*

[kittens]

I still *almost* think this about people using  telephones out of doors, or wearing  a watch while swimming, but I'm getting over it. Anyone playing loud music in a car though, with the windows open.

people using their phones outside? that's like getting annoyed at someone wearing a coat. 'afraid you'll get chilly are you, mr jacket man? what makes you so important that you have to wrap yourself up in that ridiculous thing?'

[Brian Freeze]

I saw what I presumed to be an attention seeking bellend on a skateboard, topless with a big white live rabbit under one arm in the middle of town once. I might have judged him unfairly but didnt go over and strike up a conversation to find out for sure.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

We'll miss them when they're gone.

Hey mister, I wanna know
Are you a hipster
Or a hobo
You got a push bike and a broke nose
Are you a hipster
Or a hobo

[avatarlessnessophilia]

Could some kind of syndrome be involved? It seems at least in the case of the boxing gloves lad more like a spectacular lack of selfconsciousness, maybe people looking at him is not even occurring to him? I did once see someone skate down Brick Lane with a full size medical model skeleton, and didn't really process what I'd seen as I had chicken danzak on my mind. But even then I'm thinking that the person needed to transport a full size model medical skeleton, felt a bit embarrassed and realised that skates would cut 75% off the perceived length of the journey. Having never needed to transport a full medical model sized skeleton anywhere I don't feel able to judge.

When I was a kid I was always taking things into school that were a bit big, like a ventriloquist's doll, and it's only in late youth and early middle age that I'd play the memory back to myself and realise it was a bit odd, even for a kid.

If he's just transparently a cunt though, fine, I hope he dies the first time he's out on his poxy moped.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Just because you can't do it :p

I did see some berk on a unicycle once.

I saw one yesterday (FUCKING GET ME) . He was on a footpath, we all had to part to the side to let him through. He tutted because our lack of foresight to expect a unicyclist on a path in the dark had cost him momentum. Cunt.

[touchingcloth]

A colleague of mine is a unicyclist, and did his local fun run on one. He is definitely not a cunt, but it does give you pause, doesn't it? I have any number of other non-cunt colleagues and I have never come to this forum to tell you one by one that they are "definitely not a cunt", yet with unicycle boy it's somehow necessary.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

(Bye bye)

I'm intrigued as to what Barry edited.

[Bad Ambassador]

A colleague of mine is a unicyclist, and did his local fun run on one.

A degree of wackiness should be tolerated on a fun run, so costumes and amusing modes of transport would be acceptable. Commuting on it however would merit being pushed under a train.

[thenoise]

I'm intrigued as to what Barry edited.

He misspelt "(bye bye)". Part of Barry's new zero-tolerance approach to bad spelling and grammar which I, for one, fully support.

[Barry Admin]

Racist (or race-based) misogyny. No fanks.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Saw a teenager do a wheelie down a long road a while back. At first I thought it was sad but he kept it up long enough for me to develop grudging reverence.

[Dex Sawash]

When you are the No Hand Wheelie King it is ok

[Shaky]

I work with a woman who spent, no joke, roughly four hours today talking loudly about how the virus was going to affect her upcoming travel plans, why she should definitely get some of the financial help suggested for the poor and infirm, what she's going to say to her Union blah blah blah. Quite astonishing, especially considering we work in a fucking Hospital with actual sick people in it. I walked into the kitchen to get away from it at one point and she was somehow already in there, regaling the bosses with the same bullshit.

[Sony Walkman Prophecies]

What about imagined 'look at me'?

During the times I've not had a gf I've managed to convince myself couples are broadcasting just how happy and in love they are. In reality they're just enjoying themselves and having a good time.

On a similar note, I was in central London with a mate a while back and he started going on about a rant about someone listening to their iPod. He was convinced they were doing this to acquire near-vicinity status, when the more likely truth is that he wanted to listen to some music and, you know, a lot of people just want something smart and proven to work.

I've been on the receiving end myself. I might have mentioned this on here before but I was in Brighton, in the summer, and had to program my ex's phone number into my new phone. I did this on a street corner as it had to be done there and then. Whilst walking past me, some decrepit old queen hissed "Ohhh don't you look ever so cool". As if I was trying to be Jason Bourne.

Like terrorism making us all suspects when we go to airports, these Look at Me's have now made everyday life intolerable.