Lockdown tales

[JesusAndYourBush]

Whenever I hear the word 'lockdown' it makes me think of that moment on Pointless with the monks.

[Pingers]

It seems it's your bitter ego being fulfilled here.  But we're a broad church so fill your boots.

Let's be nice to each other eh? Ferris is a good lad, and very low on the egotistical scale.

I'm having to be very nice to my family, as we are on a 14 day shut in due to Mrs Pingers having a temperature. We'll still go for daily walks around the cemetery near our house though - they're dead already.

[Buelligan]

thread for people like me (in France, but it's been happening in most european countries) that are experiencing this. as of tomorrow, everytime we have to move, we'll need a written attestation (even if you're just popping down to your local food shop), and if we don't have it, there will be fines.

"France will mobilise 100,000 police to carry out checks on people's movements, the country's interior minister, Christophe Castaner, has said."

scary dystopian shit innit

Have you got a link?  I read Macron's speech last night - I don't have a telly, I've seen nothing about an attestation - give me a link - I can't afford a fine!

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Gonna have some rashers and then wander into town and gaze at the empty street where once pipe and drum bands marched, followed by little kids doing cartwheels and vehicles of local business owners with balloons taped to them. All preceded by the town character in a massive Paddy's Day hat walking a dog.

[Gregory Torso]

Sounds horrible, chveik - all the best to you, and to everyone, really. I'm self isolating because I'm not waiting around for work or the government to make a decision and I don't want to risk anything with my shit lungs, although to be honest, I am far more scared about selfish greedy pricks stabbing each other over hand soap and bog roll than I am about catching the virus.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I like Canada.

Canada is the JJAAPPAANNEESSEE MERCEDES

[chveik]

Have you got a link?  I read Macron's speech last night - I don't have a telly, I've seen nothing about an attestation - give me a link - I can't afford a fine!

sorry the site keeps crashing, I've finally managed to find it:

https://mon-partage.fr/f/6WCKu8tD/

edit: here's the official site, it's working: https://www.interieur.gouv.fr/Actualites/L-actu-du-Ministere/Attestation-de-deplacement-derogatoire-et-justificatif-de-deplacement-professionnel 

also, if you have to go the work, you need another attestation signed by your employer.

[Buelligan]

Thanks!  So that means, if someone needs to go out (to buy food or get medicines, for instance), they need to carry a written statement saying that they're doing that.  I guess the intention is to make people think seriously about leaving the house. 

I heard today that people were in the supermarket, this morning, in the nearest small town, acting like the English on Christmas Eve.  Of course, it was probably an exaggeration, still, never thought I'd see that here.  Strange days indeed.

[H-O-W-L]

Just like them city scanners in hl2.

ATTENTION ALL GROUND PROTECTION TEAMS
JUDGEMENT WAIVER IS NOW IN EFFECT
CAPITAL PROSECUTION
IS DISCRETIONARY

[Uncle TechTip]

Not to go all FEMA conspiracy mental but this seems like a test run for when governments choose dystopian, oppressive Fascist societies full time.

Never waste a good crisis, as Curchill once said.

It's a little bit mental. You'd think they'd do it without the 20% hit on GDP.

[chveik]

Sounds horrible, chveik - all the best to you, and to everyone, really.

thanks man. I'm fine, it just feels odd to have to write an attestation to go on a little walk. thankfully I live in the countryside.

all the best to all of you too, I'm glad this forum exists, we will surely need all the moral support possible in the following weeks (months?).

[Buelligan]

The maire here just put two copies of the attestation form into everyone's post box (there aren't many people here), which I thought was pretty considerate.  Do we even need an attestation and identity documents when we take the rubbish out or just to walk on the mountain?  I suppose we do.

[chveik]

The maire here just put two copies of the attestation form into everyone's post box (there aren't many people here), which I thought was pretty considerate.  Do we even need an attestation and identity documents when we take the rubbish out or just to walk on the mountain?  I suppose we do.

not for the former. for the latter, technically yes, although if you live in such remote place you won't get controlled. best to make sure I suppose.

[Better Midlands]

The maire here just put two copies of the attestation form into everyone's post box (there aren't many people here), which I thought was pretty considerate.  Do we even need an attestation and identity documents when we take the rubbish out or just to walk on the mountain?  I suppose we do.

https://www.thelocal.fr/20200317/lockdown-permission-form-what-is-it-and-where-do-you-find-it


"Physical exercise. Unlike Spain, where this is banned, trips outside the home to take exercise are still allowed. However there are some conditions - you have to go on your own and cannot play group sports. So going for a run alone is OK, going to play street football is not. If you have a dog, you are also allowed to walk it."

Hopefully a walk on the mountains would count as exercise.

[Attila]

It's all very sudden isn't it?

Went for a final pint at my local - it was all everyone was talking about. Just us lot laughing, nervously probably. My friend and I (a few months ago) were planning on writing some dystopian fiction, I reminded him of this and we both agreed it'll probably be easier to write a diary.

I've kept a daily diary for close to 44 years now -- decades of boring mundanity about schoolyard squabbles, homework, working on a farm, various travels, pisstakes on work colleagues suddenly changing to, 'So this morning I saw two people using a supermarket trolley as a battering ram to be the first to get to the bog roll aisle at Waitrose.'

which actually happened yesterday when I was getting in a few bits in a dogged attempt to do my usual weekly shop.

[Norton Canes]

Cycling banned in France too, I hear.

[popcorn]

Looks like I'm not going to see my girlfriend again for the rest of the year.

[BlodwynPig]

I've kept a daily diary for close to 44 years now -- decades of boring mundanity about schoolyard squabbles, homework, working on a farm, various travels, pisstakes on work colleagues suddenly changing to, 'So this morning I saw two people using a supermarket trolley as a battering ram to be the first to get to the bog roll aisle at Waitrose.'

which actually happened yesterday when I was getting in a few bits in a dogged attempt to do my usual weekly shop.

will these diaries be published? ask Neil for a sub-forum dedicated to its release

[Ed Sholda-Sneezuntows]

'Ello everyone.

I'm in the reddest bit of Northern Italy.

My local hospital, Bergamo, was on the Sky News report last night, the video's available on their website.

The military have been removing the dead from the city during the night, and they are setting up a field hospital at the local exhibition centre now. The ambulance sirens seem constant.

Yet people are remarkably calm. I suppose most families have relatives who are either in hospital or have died. You can sense the fear, it's really odd. 

We need a bit of paper to go out, not that anyone wants to anymore.

[Kryton]

I've only been living the house to go see the Mum and my boy (who live five minutes away). Other than that I've been staying indoors and basically doing fuck all.
Had a cough for the last few days, but no fever. Might be a smokers cough, but not taking any chances.

Staying off work for a week to see if it develops into fever. Then if not, I'll be back out doing my civic duty and helping pensioners.

[Buelligan]

What can one say?  It all sounds intolerably bad.  I'm very sorry for everyone's trouble.  Awful.

[Sebastian Cobb]

One of the young team in an old work's whatsapp group is having a google hangout 'virtual sesh' with his pals. Bless.