Not everyone's a self-interested Tory ass clown soul void

[shiftwork2]

For example, my (immuno-compromised) friend is still keeping her long-standing appointment with her elderly friend tomorrow as, well, they make each other laugh equally and I'm not sure who is more important to who.

Use this thread to recount tales of humans being humans to each other.  Shouldn't be hard.

[holyzombiejesus]

Don't want to blow my own trumpet but I was going to buy 2 Clive's gluten free nut roasts from Morrisons yesterday but put one back in case an old man wanted it.

[Barry Admin]

Needed to sneeze in the Mace earlier, but an old lady was right in front of me. As I've played puter games for nearly four decades, my reflexes are pretty honed, so I immediately raised my hands to my mouth, shouted "watch out you stupid old cunt", then spun on my heels and sneezed on the nearest child instead.

[Blue Jam]

After I finally managed to score some hand sanitiser the other day I was giving out squirts to people in the pub, and I wasn't charging 50p per squirt either*.

I am now avoiding the pub, of course.

^{*Unlike YOUR MUM}

[Dex Sawash]

  50p per squirt either*.


^{*Unlike YOUR MUM}

It's just piss