Donald Trump's response to the "Chinese Virus" [split topic]

[mojo filters]

Today's coronavirus briefing / Trump daily grievance fest was particularly hilarious, when Amb / Dr Deborah Birx diplomatically attempted to suggest that GA Governor Brian Kemp's policy of allowing tattoo parlours to reopen, could accommodate presidential "social distancing" requirements via some kind of clever innovations.

A rather imperfect attempt at diplomacy, with Trump looming over her while she took questions in the James Brady press room. Nevertheless it conjured up a few funny, Python-esque images!

[momatt]

There was one member on here who welcomed Trump because it meant there was FINALLY A REAL MAN WHO SHAGS WOMEN in the Oval Office again and not Barack "throws like a girl" Obama, so I wonder if this brand of idiocy is felt on a wider scale.

Fucking hell, that's not even accurate.  Trump has to pay women to come near him.  I reckon Obama could pull any woman he wants as he's pretty cool and suave.
Obama is decent at basketball isn't he?  Trump would have an heart attack picking the fucking thing up.

I really hope that this virus speeds up evolution a bit.  Wipe out all the thick cunts who deserve it and hate science and then the best people have loads of babies and then the world will be a little bit better.
I love natural selection.

[Urinal Cake]

Trump suggests using light, heat and disinfectant on and in the human body might be used to treat the virus. Why didn't the Chinese do it first and stop all this?

[Ferris]

I've been a mug not to use light on the outside of my body. Curse you, eternal darkness.

[bgmnts]

Trump suggests using light, heat and disinfectant on and in the human body might be used to treat the virus. Why didn't the Chinese do it first and stop all this?

Chinese skin is allergic to heat idiot.

[Cold Meat Platter]

Wrong. How do you explain Chinese burns then?

[Urinal Cake]

+ 1 Karma

[Dewt]

You fucking wet liberals have finally been shown as the idiots you are now that Trump has solved this crisis by coming up with--all by himself--the solution of simply drinking bleach to cure yourself of the virus from within. Explain how that won't work, I dare you.

[Alberon]

From the BBC.

Pointing to his head, Mr Trump went on: "I'm not a doctor. But I'm, like, a person that has a good you-know-what."

Gobsmacking. Even for Trump.

[pigamus]

I've just read a transcript of all that - sweet holy Mary mother of Christ.

Injecting disinfectant for fuck's sake. How much longer can they let this go on for?

[hamfist]

https://twitter.com/MaplesonF/status/1253557654401609728?s=20 - a lovely re-enactment of the speech.

[Buelligan]

From the BBC.

Pointing to his head, Mr Trump went on: "I'm not a doctor. But I'm, like, a person that has a good you-know-what."

Gobsmacking. Even for Trump.

I just saw it.  Dear god. Cura te ipsum, as they say.

[Dewt]

https://twitter.com/MaplesonF/status/1253557654401609728?s=20 - a lovely re-enactment of the speech.

I'm not sure if she ripped it off from a lesser-known TikTok-er as I've seen somebody else with the same shtick in the past (I hate this world) but she is very good at it. "In some other way" was really funny.

[Abnormal Palm]

At least the disinfectant would actually work if you accept death as a side-effect. The real thrill for me was the concept of introducing light - possibly intravenously - to sort out this whole mess out. And remarkably, they're prepared to nod along that yes they will be testing for that. Let them eat urinal cake.

[NoSleep]

Just how difficult would it be to shrink a submarine with floodlight attachments down to a size that it could be injected into an infected patient? Let's talk to James Cameron.

[Abnormal Palm]

I laughed. Thanks.

[sirhenry]

Bizarrely there is a recent development in fighting cancer that consists of a molecule that binds to cancer cells which breaks apart under bright light, taking the cancer cells with it. It was originally developed as a dye to mark the cells but they found that it only worked in total darkness, so explored why...

For blindingly obvious reasons they can only use it against skin, throat and some arse cancers. According to Kevin, my pet oncologist, you'd need something like an aircraft landing light in the lungs to illuminate all the crinkly bits enough.

So how long before someone claims that this is how Jesus cured people - after all he is always shown with light emanating all over the place?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I notice the BBC article on this features a tweet from a Doctor which literally starts 'FFS'

[Hand Solo]

Flash. Aahaaaargh!
Inject every one of us.

Dispatch bleach product 'Ajax' to bring back his body.

[Buelligan]

The really appalling thing is that there are people who trust this arsehole.  Who believe the abject crap that pours from his fatuous mouth.  People, some of whom, can't afford healthcare. 

What would you do if you couldn't go to the doctor or hospital and your President told you, you might be able to cure yourself by cleaning your lungs with cheap and available household bleach? 

Why are they allowing this moronic arsehole to continue pontificating like this?

[Dewt]

Why are they allowing this moronic arsehole to continue pontificating like this?

Because it works well for anybody who is powerful enough to stop it.

[The Culture Bunker]

Flash. Aahaaaargh!
Inject every one of us.

Dispatch bleach product 'Ajax' to bring back his body.

My first big laugh in a few days. Thanks.

[Buelligan]

And that thing when he was hyping hydroxychloroquine.  They stopped tests of it because the tests showed there were more fatalities in patients on the drug than for those not taking it.  And yet.  And yet, apparently, Americans are still trying to buy the fucking thing.  Someone is going to use bleach aren't they.  Absolutely horrific. 

I didn't think I could loathe him more, turns out, I was wrong.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/apr/22/trump-hydroxychloroquine-study-coronavirus
https://edition.cnn.com/2020/04/22/politics/trump-hydroxychloroquine-shortages-black-market-coronavirus/index.html

[BlodwynPig]

Fucking hell, that's not even accurate.  Trump has to pay women to come near him.  I reckon Obama could pull any woman he wants as he's pretty cool and suave.
Obama is decent at basketball isn't he?  Trump would have an heart attack picking the fucking thing up.

I really hope that this virus speeds up evolution a bit.  Wipe out all the thick cunts who deserve it and hate science and then the best people have loads of babies and then the world will be a little bit better.
I love natural selection.

Rather saccharine and idiotic post. Those killed by the virus will be from all sectors of society, but mostly poorer communities. Nothing to do with suaveness or perceived intelligence.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Why are they allowing this moronic arsehole to continue pontificating like this?

Because now they can spin this as "doctors won't even investigate drinking bleach" and "UV light kills the virus, how dare the Governor try to make us stay inside", ramp up the "re-open the country" crowd and the conspiracy nutters. Either states go back to normal too early and plenty of poor people die, or there's enough unrest that people vote him back into office because he wanted to get everyone back to work.

[lipsink]

Guarantee you the next move will be to deny that he said that and that its the evil media that's twisting it. And on and on we go.

[Butchers Blind]

I understand Dettol will soon be releasing Cherry, Banana and Chocolate flavours of their disinfectant.

[momatt]

I've just read a transcript of all that - sweet holy Mary mother of Christ.

Injecting disinfectant for fuck's sake. How much longer can they let this go on for?

I hope Trump injects some bleach on live TV and lots of people copy him.

Rather saccharine and idiotic post. Those killed by the virus will be from all sectors of society, but mostly poorer communities. Nothing to do with suaveness or perceived intelligence.

If it was only stupid Trump supporters who got ill it'd be great.  The world would truly be a better place.
But I know it's not that simple unfortunately.

Suaveness has been directly linked to immunity though.  Anyone who disagrees is a liar and a communist.

[Abnormal Palm]

Apologies for the reddit post, let me know if it doesn't work but there's no embedding on here:

https://v.redd.it/048ery4q0ou41

This is Dr. Deborah Birx, Coronavirus Response Coordinator for the White House, listening to Trump's announcement.

This is from the subreddit r/WatchPeopleDieInside

[Dewt]

Has anybody posted Dr. Birx's reaction to Trump's announcement yet