Be honest - how scared are you?

[Danger Man]

Embrace it.

And embrace the new page.

[massive bereavement]

Proper scared now.
Been going over all of the times I've been very ill over the past 20 years. It's really no fun feeling like somebody set fire to your lungs, is it. Death would finally free me from all of the emotional turmoil, the guilt, the self loathing and all of that shit, but my youngest still needs me. I'd have to fight it.
Statistically, it's highly unlikely I'm going to die but my chances of being seriously fucking ill might be as low as 1/3. I've been very poorly twice since new year, including stomach flu that lasted weeks, so I'm hoping my immune system is still on high alert and ready for action.

Feel I've now got a huge decision to make whether or not to go out to the shops on Monday. I know the virus is out there now, there are numerous confirmed cases within 4/5 miles at least. Couldn't face shopping this weekend. I'd be Ok avoiding it for a while but I'd have no fruit and the kids haven't bothered to tell me until today that we're about to run out of tomato ketchup (I only have brown sauce).

[Thomas]

I'm a touch more nervous now, but rational and relaxed enough, outside of Normal Anxiety Levels which are Frequently Medium-to-High anyway. Healthwise, I'm always quick to feel short of breath. I'd rather not get this thing meself, I shouldn't like to challenge my lungs.

My partner has a slipped disc and a broken bone in her spine. She was due for surgery in April, but who knows? It might well end up being next April. In the meantime she'll have to remain on heavy painkillers.

Of course, I've a wider nervy gloom for strangers and the population at large, but that's a given. I'm curious to see how this might reshape, or at least nudge, society's norms. I hope that egalitarian, compassionate improvements are inspired, and I can only echo these thoughts:

All this "Oh, leave Boris and lovely Rishi alone, they're doing their best" stuff is turning my stomach. The switch from anger to forelock-tugging is astonishing.

Its as if fucking idiotic cunts are able to ignore the years and years of murderous kill-the-poor policies these psychopaths have visited upon the most vulnerable in society, windrush, grenfell, cutting the NHS and welfare system to the bone, their hostile environment, their fucking brekshit, all of it, cos boo hoo they've got to do some real work for once, make some real decisions, and are being exposed for who and what they are and what their priorities are. Fuck them. Fuck them now and then and forever more.

[Sheffield Wednesday]

Strange walk to the local supermarket this morning. I actually felt guilty for not driving, even though it's minutes away. People swerving quite theatrically. It's only a little supermarket so people were waiting at the ends of aisles to give each other space but then someone else would come round the corner and we'd all just rotate on the spot not knowing where to move. All very polite and good natured but very nervy. People even avoiding eye contact. Had one person broken the uneasy peace, I don't think it would have resolved itself easily. I'm taking mace next time I buy anything.

[Pseudopath]

Most people who do have to venture to the shops seems to be respecting each other's distance. I saw a couple of people queuing a few feet apart waiting for some lady to finish browsing the yogurt aisle, only for some ill-looking ratboy motherfucker to just barge in and literally reach over her shoulder for some Fruit Corners. 

[vainsharpdad]

People in shops near me appear to be paying no heed to the two metre thing - almost barging me out of the way.
I am now getting quite anxious (something I am prone to) as my BMI is over 40 so I am at risk. It's stupid, I know - but I don't want to die!

(Please mourn me if I do.)

[Danger Man]

People I know appear to have come down with it so I've gone from 'Low Miff' to 'Massive Huff'.

[holyzombiejesus]

The thing I'm really scared of is if my wife and I both get it at the same time. I can cope with being ill and isolating myself upstairs but the thought of us being genuinely ill and one of us having to deal with a 3 year old who is going through a stage of being an absolute wanker at the moment is really concerning me.

[hamfist]

I've been waking up feeling really low for the last few days. This isn't how I usually am, it's crazy how much of my usually positive mental state is created by leaving the house early for work, sharing public transport, sharing an office building, seeing my workmates. I've always been defaulted to miserable I guess, but usually I think the daily buzz & grind somehow manages to squash it down & distract me. I felt a bit shit over Christmas too, same sort of thing perhaps.

[confettiinmyhair]

The thing I'm really scared of is if my wife and I both get it at the same time. I can cope with being ill and isolating myself upstairs but the thought of us being genuinely ill and one of us having to deal with a 3 year old who is going through a stage of being an absolute wanker at the moment is really concerning me.

Having to deal with this at the moment with Lil Confetti going through the 'terrible twos'. My wife is working from home in the bedroom and I'm having to distract him and pretend that Mummy's gone to work. Made it to lunch at least.

[BlodwynPig]

I've been waking up feeling really low for the last few days. This isn't how I usually am, it's crazy how much of my usually positive mental state is created by leaving the house early for work, sharing public transport, sharing an office building, seeing my workmates. I've always been defaulted to miserable I guess, but usually I think the daily buzz & grind somehow manages to squash it down & distract me. I felt a bit shit over Christmas too, same sort of thing perhaps.

Same here. Finding it hard to do any work cramped in a small bedroom with the smell of a piss bucket clogging my nose.

[Puce Moment]

I wasn't scared, but my wife went to our local surgery to get a flu jab today (as instructed by various letters). The Nurse acted like she was doing her a favour (she is asthmatic) and then proceeded to try and give her the jab without wearing any gloves, any protective equipment, and no way to sterilise hands.

She reported it to reception, but they didn't give a fuck.

#covidUK

[Cardenio I]

Is there any chance she wandered into the local smack den by mistake? To be sure you should ask her if the receptionist was unresponsive with sick on their chin.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

My sister, living under lockdown in Spain, has started to fill the family WhatsApp group with doom and gloom tales from the Spanish health system and what it bodes for us. I know she's only trying to help and there is the odd bit of practical advice here and there, but the fear mongering tone isn't doing me much good.

[Pranet]

If you can get out and exercise for a bit (away from other people obviously) do. Went for a long old walk in the sun today and feel better for it, for now at least. Didn't meet many other people but everyone was very clearly making sure to walk on the opposite side of the path when passing etc.

When we go into proper lockdown I'll find it hard, don't have a garden even so will feel very shut in.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

I went for a brief stroll around the fields near us yesterday. First time I'd been out (not counting the garden) for a week. There were a few people out walking their dogs, two of whom I passed within ten feet or so and exchanged a polite, if terse, hello. A mother and child with two dogs had stopped up the path ahead of me and seemed to be looking for something in the bushes. The mum kept looking back toward me (the only person without a dog) in, what I interpreted as an agitated manner, so I made an exaggerated display of stopping to look at the horizon. Eventually, I heard her say "Leave it!" and they walked off.

I cut the walk short anyway, as there was a bastardly cold wind blowing. Overall, I'd say the experience pretty much broke even.

[shiftwork2]

I went for an hour's walk this morning as it's a lovely day.  I passed two people in that time, both gave a cheery hello and we kept some considerable distance (5m perhaps) apart for those seconds.  I imagine I will continue to do this even if it's outlawed and policed by Plod because it's perfectly safe and who the fuck's going to see me?  The deep sticks public footpath police don't exist.  Having written that I have no doubt I will now encounter an attack helicopter.

Then I visited the co-op and the assistants are all wearing gloves, a move which I think is still considered to be totally useless but there you go.

[bgmnts]

Glad to know you are okay possibly killing people to go for a stroll.

[holyzombiejesus]

Ha ha!

[jobotic]

I've been for a run. Avoided anywhere busy and if there were people on the pavements, and there weren't many, I ran down the middle of the road as there were hardly any cars, like Rambo Balboa . The two people I saw close together were clearly dealing drugs. Wonder how business is.

[purlieu]

My usual dog walking route is already filling up with townies - climbing over farm gates instead of using the wooden ones that open, wearing trainers despite it still being extremely muddy, not showing much interest in social distancing - so I've taken to the barely-used footpaths over farm fields. Was out for two hours today and saw three people, none of whom passed within about three metres of me. The weather was lovely and I saw plenty of wildlife, so my mood has gone back up again after a few days of feeling really low. Still struggling with the "I was about to get my life back on track after years of isolation" issue, but I'm just trying to take it all one day at a time. Got a new BluRay player set up so going to be going through those Doctor Who sets at last.

[Norton Canes]

Went for a one hour bike ride. Yes, I'm aware that makes me a pariah and puts me on the level of hand sanny profiteers and Brexit pub chain owners in the eyes of some people but in all honesty there are other 'acceptable' things I could do that would be more likely to see me end up in A&E. Our neighbour is doing some DIY with drills and saws and things, I could do that too but I'd be on the way to the hospital with blood spurting from a vein within minutes. Yet no-one tells him he's being irresponsible.

Actually, a pariah is probably a good thing to be right now.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Just done a shit that even a real stickler would characterise as 'textbook - classic shit'.

My bowels haven't yet succumbed to the new pathological ardour for panic.

This in turn is saving sheets upon sheets of toilet roll shitter ass poo bum paper.

[Thomas]

Just read the account of an asthma sufferer struggling through coronavirus here in Ireland. The article notes that he's generally 'fit and healthy', which is worrying, but then mentions, almost as an aside, that he has previously suffered both pneumonia and a collapsed lung, which I imagine might endear one to the virus. My brother suffered one of those ailments fifteen years ago. He works on a factory production line at the moment. Still has to go in, colleagues spaced a few metres apart.

Just nipped to the petrol station for essential bin bags and essential cat litter. They didn't have the latter. They did have a few middle-aged men chatting away in close proximity, though. Brought them home.

[Puce Moment]

Next door neighbour's son has been living with them for the last year or more. He works at a call-centre doing 12-hours shifts and shows no signs of stopping. He is booked to work all this week. I wouldn't mind but we share a bin yard and he stands there smoking and coughing a great deal. Time for the British reserve to evaporate.

[holyzombiejesus]

.

[massive bereavement]

People keep talking about this being the most difficult situation since 1945, but I still think I'd have struggled a lot worse with the Cuban missile crisis in 1962. I read an account somewhere of somebody who was a child at the time and he overheard his parents talking about how they would  'put him to sleep' if they survived but faced certain death from radiation sickness. That is seriously hard-core.

[bgmnts]

Yeah no joke like fucking hell


Still had polio then.

Then you had aids.

[imitationleather]

massive bereavement has AIDS?

[Kryton]

massive bereavement has AIDS?

Worse than that - He has compound Cuban war crisis (for an hour)!