Grocery shopping

[Puce Moment]

You don't need booze as long as you've got drugs.

Don't even joke.

[Captain Z]

Drugs aren't a drink.

[SteveDave]

I went to the big Sainsbury's in Dalston yesterday and there were a lot of people in there. I'd say the equivalent to early Sunday morning. Everyone under 40 were keeping their distance from each other. Everyone over 40 couldn't give a fuck seemingly.

I was given a huge list (we're trying to do a big shop once every two weeks) and I got almost everything off it. The toilet roll aisle was well stocked.

There was a weird atmosphere but it was nice to get some time alone to listen to some podcasts.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

My mood has shifted back to hoping many old people (the ones I don't know or care about) die. Cheers.

[Sebastian Cobb]

There was a weird atmosphere but it was nice to get some time alone to listen to some podcasts.

I usually have headphones in when shopping but have deliberately not been doing that because going to the tills or getting someone to approve the self checkout would involve talking to someone, which would require me to dislodge an earbud which would require potentially contaminated HANDS NEAR FACE.

[olliebean]

Oh, the other thing was at least half the people in there weren't alone. Assuming they were letting people in based on a head-count, I reckon that means the queue could have moved about 50% faster if people hadn't gone in pairs.

[Blue Jam]

Went to Marks and Sparks today to grab some b@rgains but it looked like I was too late. Got some yellow-stickered boeuf bourgignon from the Gastropub range and some reduced potato rosti and conference pears, but most of the cheap items were houmous and sausage rolls and other horrible stuff. Got some full-price posh cheese and wine and some sourdough while I was at it.

I also asked about yeast at the in store bakery and they had nowt. It looks like a lot of supermarkets do their baking at a central location and send part-baked goods to their branches where they just finish the job, which makes the store smell nice but doesn't require any yeast. Also some places apparently won't give it out for 'elf and safety reasons, in case a customer is allergic to yeast or gluten or any grain it may have come into contact with. Whatevs, my eBay yeast arrived today. Overpriced at £8 for 100g but a fucking godsend and still better than having to spend a minimum of £60 at Waitrose.

Was interesting to see a deserted Princes Street though. And I got some exercise having a nice long walk into town, I guess.

[Buelligan]

Oh, the other thing was at least half the people in there weren't alone. Assuming they were letting people in based on a head-count, I reckon that means the queue could have moved about 50% faster if people hadn't gone in pairs.

How does that work?  If they're doing one in, one out, which would seem likely.  If people are shopping in pairs, they'll fill their trolleys faster, if not twice as fast and there'll only be one payment per two, so the queue outside should move a little quicker if anything.

Here, there are no queues, you just go in, shop, and leave.

[Cursus]

You don't need booze as long as you've got drugs.

Man caught with rucksack of cannabis tells police 'I'm buying in bulk due to lockdown'

[paruses]

How does that work?  If they're doing one in, one out, which would seem likely.  If people are shopping in pairs, they'll fill their trolleys faster, if not twice as fast and there'll only be one payment per two, so the queue outside should move a little quicker if anything.

Here, there are no queues, you just go in, shop, and leave.

Semi-Rural Wales is also operating on a no queuing system. It's nice.

Will people in pairs fill their trolley faster though? I don't think people will operate an Alan Partridge Nando's division of labour system - they are more likely to dawdle and argue over things.

[Emma Raducanu]

Yeh the idea that people in pairs fill their trolleys twice as fast is a bit wishful. Most going as a pair will be treating it as a day out. When I go shopping alone, it's like supermarket sweep. With my partner, we spend half the time looking for eachother.

[olliebean]

How does that work?  If they're doing one in, one out, which would seem likely.  If people are shopping in pairs, they'll fill their trolleys faster, if not twice as fast and there'll only be one payment per two, so the queue outside should move a little quicker if anything.

You may be right. I haven't really thought it through. Although having said that, the people in pairs seemed to be spending time debating with each other what to get, whereas we solo shoppers were just getting on with it.

[Better Midlands]

Yeh the idea that people in pairs fill their trolleys twice as fast is a bit wishful. Most going as a pair will be treating it as a day out. When I go shopping alone, it's like supermarket sweep. With my partner, we spend half the time looking for eachother.

That's the truth.

PS - Michael McIntyre is always on the look out for new material.

[batwings]

Shopping in pairs increases the chances of infection though doesn't it.

[buttgammon]

Went to Tesco and it was full of teenagers passing the time and elderly couples coughing all over each other and wiping snot all over their hands. On the plus side, they had eggs for the first time in ages.

[Buelligan]

You may be right. I haven't really thought it through. Although having said that, the people in pairs seemed to be spending time debating with each other what to get, whereas we solo shoppers were just getting on with it.

Heheh, I think you'll find the solo shoppers spend a great deal of time glaring at their portable telephones.

Shopping in pairs increases the chances of infection though doesn't it.

Quite possibly but there are many reasons for shopping in pairs, not all of them wrong.  Some people can't drive or have no transport, some people can't see or walk or read, some people cannot be left alone and so on.  A whole shitload of reasons.

[greencalx]

I'd like a designated hour for people who know (i) what it is they want and (ii) which aisle its in.

I could be in and out in twenty minutes then, especially if they stopped all the online packers from blocking the aisles.

[Buelligan]

Yes, I'm the same but now I'm shopping for other people too, it's incredibly frustrating.  If the thing they want isn't there, trying to decide what would be the best substitute.  Trying to pick the best choice from a range of things you'd never ever buy.  And simply finding the crap in parts of the store you'd never normally visit.  Changes your whole fucking perspective.

[shiftwork2]

Overheard in the co-op last night that a one-way Ikea-style system is being introduced with 'reversing' discouraged.  This is really going to focus the minds of grocery ditherers (we've all seen them) and in my opinion should be enforced by snipers.  Coming before Easter.

[paruses]

Heheh, I think you'll find the solo shoppers spend a great deal of time glaring at their portable telephones.

Are they? I have to say that I've generally observed people as being a lot more efficient in their shopping and not stopping dead in the middle of an aisle  or standing blocking shelves. It is the shopping doubles teams who are the blockages in the pipe now.

Quite possibly but there are many reasons for shopping in pairs, not all of them wrong.  Some people can't drive or have no transport, some people can't see or walk or read, some people cannot be left alone and so on.  A whole shitload of reasons.

I would hope that provision is made for such people  but probably not. One thing about this LOCKDOWN is that it really appeals to the jobsworths and people who love rules.

Yes, I'm the same but now I'm shopping for other people too, it's incredibly frustrating.  If the thing they want isn't there, trying to decide what would be the best substitute.  Trying to pick the best choice from a range of things you'd never ever buy.  And simply finding the crap in parts of the store you'd never normally visit.  Changes your whole fucking perspective.

Very true. I have recently developed a great empathy with the pickers who chuck in Jif surface cleaning cream when there's no Jif lemon available.

[Buelligan]

I didn't mean they were larking about on their phones.  I meant they were remotely interrogating the people for whom they were forced to shop under this tory government.

[Camp Tramp]

My local Sainsburys have just put in place a 'one person per household' rule.

Won't stop people going in separately obviously.

[Icehaven]

My local Sainsburys have just put in place a 'one person per household' rule.

Won't stop people going in separately obviously.

Yep that's exactly what my boss and her husband did last week, even waited in the queue one behind the other without speaking. I think if everyone stopped doing this the queues would be half the length.

[Buelligan]

I thought the Brits loved queueing.  It's not as if most of you have to be anywhere is it?  Enjoy your queues whilst you have them.

[shiftwork2]

Bouncers live on.  If there was one shady occupation that should have starved of oxygen it was this, but no we apparently need them outside the co-op to intimidate the nanas.

[Buelligan]

And sell them drugs.

[Bently Sheds]

Our local Morrisons has implemented loads of social distancing measures - crowd control barriers outside the entrance, a clearly marked one way system inside the entrance, checkout queue control measures funneling people through the Nutmeg section and filtering them to tills via a sophisticated flag system, screens protecting the till operators. It's impressive stuff.

It's a pity the clueless wanker shoppers aren't applying the same level of dedication to exclusion zones and infection control. As mentioned upthread, it seems to be the old fuckers who are the worst offenders, just wandering around like it's a normal shopping day.

The most likely place to get the COVID is going to be when some octogenarian leans across you and grabs a packet of Seven Seas Cod Liver Oil and coughs gently into the back of your neck at Morrisons.

[idunnosomename]

the flag system is new on me but ive been to a couple of morrisons (! well one was to do shopping for someone) and I think all of those things are standard across their stores, depends on the size of the store of course.

a lot of chains have invested in those plastic screens: aldi, lidl, tesco at least. I guess they're here to stay?

[Jasha]

a lot of chains have invested in those plastic screens: aldi, lidl, tesco at least. I guess they're here to stay?

Except for Iceland, which I previously avoided like the plague but now frequent precisely to avoid the plague (no queuing up 1 in 1 out arraignment either)

[Head Gardener]