The last Remain Indoors (DEAD SOON) post that made you GUFFAW out loud

[Norton Canes]

Thought this deserved its own strain, so as not to contaminate the General Bullshit version

Woke up this morning to the caterwauling of 80 OAPS with varying internet speeds making strangled cat sounds.  My mum's amateur orchestra group, Silver Strings, was having a Skype session

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

CORONALDO INFFECT FIRST

[Ray Travez]

My friend and I (a few months ago) were planning on writing some dystopian fiction, I reminded him of this and we both agreed it'll probably be easier to write a diary.

[idunnosomename]

I AM THE GREAT CORONAHOLIO AND I NEED TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE

[Captain Z]

Daily Mail is claiming that the UK could be on lockdown for 18 months. I suppose the readership can keep warm by burning all their Keep Calm and Carry On posters.

[Dex Sawash]

Friend's wife on bogroll hoarding

Figured out why stores are out of TP.  1 person sneezes & 25 others shit their pants

[Better Midlands]

it would be called Corbyn-19 by all the usual suspects wouldn't it?

[QDRPHNC]

Turn off the news. Go outside (away from people and screens if you can). Breathe....(unless you're breathing in virus).

[Noonling]

I think the COVID crisis affords all of us to develop unpleasant novel habits or shortcomings which we can later blame on the general trauma.

My partner was worryingly excited about the possibility of pissing and shitting in her father's garden to avoid sharing use of a bathroom with him. Not what I would have chosen, but there we go.

[buttgammon]

In response to one of the most devastatingly bleak aspects of the whole thing:

Eleanor Rigby
Died of Covid-19 and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
Father McKenzie
Putting sanitizer on his hands as he walks from the grave
No one was saved