The worst responses to the coronavirus

[Head Gardener]

Carnaloustie.

fuck me (not literally, I'm married) I've just bought a house here, the owner said that it was a dog loving town but I never envisaged quite how much so!

[Butchers Blind]

Nickelback have decided now is the right time to release new music. 

[Fambo Number Mive]

Florida sheriff puts his deputies, visitors to his office and the people they interact with at risk of Covid:

https://www.thecut.com/2020/08/florida-sheriff-bans-face-masks-for-his-officers-visitors.html

[EOLAN]

"We can debate and argue all day of why and why not. The fact is, the amount of professionals that give the reason why we should, I can find the exact same amount of professionals that say why we shouldn't," he wrote in an email to the sheriff's department. "This is no longer a debate nor is it up for discussion."

The fact that for every professional that says masks are needed; there is exactly one that says masks are bad makes it definitely sound like it is an open debate and up for discussion.
Also; I like if you find 238 professionals that say it is good; he will find exactly 238 with the opposite viewpoint; but won't try to outdo you by finding a 239th.

[dissolute ocelot]

ASOS have changed their returns policy so that instead of taking a sticky label out of the bag, sticking it onto the parcel and dropping it into the post box as I did in March, no human contact, job done, yesterday I queued in a post office with my parcel while everyone ignored the markings on the floor, then I downloaded a bar code on my phone, handed my phone to the guy behind the counter who rubbed his fingers all over it while scanning the code, and then he handed my phone back to me, and he stuck a label on the parcel and posted it. Much more hygienic!

[BlodwynPig]

ASOS have changed their returns policy so that instead of taking a sticky label out of the bag, sticking it onto the parcel and dropping it into the post box as I did in March, no human contact, job done, yesterday I queued in a post office with my parcel while everyone ignored the markings on the floor, then I downloaded a bar code on my phone, handed my phone to the guy behind the counter who rubbed his fingers all over it while scanning the code, and then he handed my phone back to me, and he stuck a label on the parcel and posted it. Much more hygienic!

Scandalous. Complain

[jenna appleseed]

Stevie Nicks makes wearing a mask all about her
https://www.rockcellarmagazine.com/stevie-nicks-covid-19-mask-plea-twitter-update/

"If I get it, I will probably never sing again. Put me on a ventilator and I will be hoarse for the rest of my life..."

tag: Lindsey instantly rips off his mask and chucks it in the bin. /tag

[kalowski]

Stevie Nicks wears her face mask over her arse.

[Dex Sawash]

Put me on a ventilator and I will be hoarse for the rest of my life..."

Why would she be expecting to stop sounding hoarse at some point before infection?

[jenna appleseed]

Can goats even get the coronavirus?

[BlodwynPig]

Can goats even get the coronavirus?

In Tanzania they do, as well as Papayas

https://news.sky.com/story/coronavirus-tanzania-testing-kits-questioned-after-goat-and-papaya-test-positive-11982864

[Cloud]

I know a few people who'd like to be a horse for the rest of their life.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I know a few people who'd like to be a horse for the rest of their life.

Holocaust deniers?

[evilcommiedictator]

Everyone let's thank the NHS workers for putting their lives on the line over the past six months!
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-humber-53792453

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Blue is an absolutely disgusting colour for a bench.

[BlodwynPig]

Everyone let's thank the NHS workers for putting their lives on the line over the past six months!
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-humber-53792453

fucking hell. Broken Britain right there. Maudlin, kitsch, Next Gen "worst of the 90s".

[Chedney Honks]

I just want to bend off some of them figurines. Looks like you get impale on that easy.

[buttgammon]

Just wait until that bench gets an upgrade - some awkward metal bars to stop people from sleeping on it.

[Cuellar]

Everyone let's thank the NHS workers for putting their lives on the line over the past six months!
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-humber-53792453

Kicked unrecognisable in a week

[idunnosomename]

Everyone let's thank the NHS workers for putting their lives on the line over the past six months!
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-humber-53792453

lol

[Dex Sawash]

Wonder if skins will adopt that bench image

[Jollity]

Just wait until that bench gets an upgrade - some awkward metal bars to stop people nurses from sleeping on it.

Unless they actually do give the nurses a pay rise after all, which they won't.

[Gulftastic]

The Sturgis biker dickheads are all worried now that a carrier has been found, but given that this was in the CNN article:

'Many of those gathered did not wear masks or keep distance from others, most notably at a concert for the rock band Smash Mouth.'

They deserve everything they get.

[Jollity]

The Smash Mouth man did say he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed.

[ajsmith2]

I've been enjoying the way the ongoing struggle to remain a Patriot in the face of Covid restrictions has led Ben Garrison to share somewhat Charles Pooter esque incidents from his everyday life:

'I hate wearing the masks. I avoided them while out shopping, but I've had to endure some dirty looks. I think they were dirty, but it may simply be my paranoia because I couldn't see their expressions. However, I was curtly treated at checkout counters a few times. Today I went to my natural food store and this time there was a woman with a mask who was waiting outside the door to make sure anyone who entered was wearing one.

Arguing and making a scene may have led to me being permanently banned, so I decided to hike up my bandana. At the very least it makes me look like a bandit, but We The People are the ones getting robbed. We're robbed of our dignity and humanity and ability to say what we do with our bodies. The masks aren't about stopping a virus. They're about conditioning us all to accept the coming mandatory vaccines. We didn't stand up against the masks, but we MUST stand up against the vaccines. Our very lives depend on it.

https://grrrgraphics.com/the-case-against-masks/

[ajsmith2]

'At the very least it makes me look like a bandit' .. Hah, I win.. in the most minor way possible

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuzgoG6Td4k

[El Unicornio, mang]

[BlodwynPig]

or an old geezer with a marine cap that he bought at the airport.

[Fambo Number Mive]

"I'm not a pussy! I've got the balls to put other people's lives at risk".

Banned from Delta Airlines now. Claims to have killed Bin Laden, and he might have killed someone on that flight by not wearing a mask.

[frajer]

How many times has he been mistaken for a vagina on a plane that he needs to do this?