The worst responses to the coronavirus

[Thomas]

Pretty sure that gun thing was done by someone else a few days ago.

It's funnier than HIGNFY's sneery tweet, but it seems to be a well-worn format. A modern online evolution of 'then I got off the bus'. I saw one earlier this very day, in which a woman claims that a man asked her to flash in exchange for a cookie. As she raises her hand to point out where it happened, we see that she's holding a cookie.

She was 28 years old.

[purlieu]

If Pets at Home were just sticking to food and health products, I'd understand them staying open (trying to find any food in a supermarket that our dog can eat is next to impossible at the moment), and they have an in-store vet service too, but keeping all the unnecessary stuff going is fucking appalling.
Smiths describing themselves as an essential service is totally unsurprising. Having worked for them, I know how abysmal the company is and what lengths they'll go to to keep in profit, at the expense of customers and staff. A fucking hideous company who can't go under too soon.

[El Unicornio, mang]

Spoiled by dumb twat:

There's always one. Like a pic I saw recently of a really old couple taken in the 1860s or around then, someone commented "I wonder what they're up to these days" and someone replied "I imagine they're probably dead".

[idunnosomename]

they definitely were dead though, the 1860s was over a century and a half ago, which is longer than the record human lifespan.

[Gregory Torso]

WHSmith

Utter cunts. I'm meant to be back at work next Monday, and was hoping everything would be closed down by then. Looks like I'm quitting. Smiths truly doesn't give two dead rats dicks about its employees. Fuckers. Can just picture William "Wanker" Smith sitting in his cloud palace, getting his escape pod ready, watching me on a screen trying to keep back from the fug of virus rolling around the floors of the shop like graveyard fog, laughing, toasting my image and glugging an urn full of Corvoisier Despot XO

[holyzombiejesus]

It's funnier than HIGNFY's sneery tweet, but it seems to be a well-worn format. A modern online evolution of 'then I got off the bus'. I saw one earlier this very day, in which a woman claims that a man asked her to flash in exchange for a cookie. As she raises her hand to point out where it happened, we see that she's holding a cookie.

She was 28 years old.

First one I saw was of a man in the street warning people about an Eastern European taxi driver who had asked him to suck him off in return for a bag of Skittles and a can of Coke.

[holyzombiejesus]

Utter cunts. I'm meant to be back at work next Monday, and was hoping everything would be closed down by then. Looks like I'm quitting. Smiths truly doesn't give two dead rats dicks about its employees. Fuckers. Can just picture William "Wanker" Smith sitting in his cloud palace, getting his escape pod ready, watching me on a screen trying to keep back from the fug of virus rolling around the floors of the shop like graveyard fog, laughing, toasting my image and glugging an urn full of Corvoisier Despot XO

I used to work for Smiths in the '80s and got fined for chewing a pen and breaking it.

[Gregory Torso]

They're the worst. Bad time to be unemployed though. Come on Boris, close down the Smiths.

[holyzombiejesus]

Many people are turning to music to pass the hours... and not just listening to it.

Marvel Guitars in Timperley, Greater Manchester, has seen a surge in demand for musical instruments in recent days.

"Ukuleles have flown out this week," said owner Rick Manning. "It's something that young kids can just pick up and start."

[holyzombiejesus]

https://twitter.com/Edwina_Currie/status/1242146490941923340?s=20

[idunnosomename]

1) edwina currie is alive?
2) edwina currie has a twitter account?
3) all the angles

[chveik]

state of this cunt
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/23/brazils-jair-bolsonaro-says-coronavirus-crisis-is-a-media-trick

[BlodwynPig]

https://twitter.com/Edwina_Currie/status/1242146490941923340?s=20

This in the replies might give me nightmares



Peter Reid stars in Liverpool of the Apes

[idunnosomename]

looks like that bit in charlie and the great glass elevator where the grandparents age hundreds of years

[Urinal Cake]

For all this, 'We can't let some deaths ruin the economy's talk I'm still waiting for somebody prominent to endorse euthanasia for everybody with the virus.

[Mr Farenheit]

There's a pub very near me that refuses to close. Shall I set it on fire?

Go in and pour a cup of cement powder into each toilet. And 3 tablespoons for the urinals.

[Urinal Cake]

For all this, 'We can't let some deaths ruin the economy's talk I'm still waiting for somebody prominent to endorse euthanasia for everybody with the virus.

https://twitter.com/ndrew_lawrence/status/1242245135129346050

[Cursus]

[BritishHobo]

Oh how daring, how brave.

This crisis has really shown the worth of people like Young, Brendan O'Neill, Rod Liddle etc, and shock horror it is 'fuck all'. Even in a global pandemic the only thing they have to give is some half-hearted contrarianism. Ooh, maybe it makes you a snowflake to shut down pubs, wouldn't it be TOPBANTS to chat about how we should let some poor people die to save the economy? Just pissweak. Worthless.

[ollyboro]

Mike Ashley's determined to open all his Houses of tat. Apparently Sports direct is an essential service. People need Champion trackies to exercise in. I vote we gut him and use his greed for fuel.

[Bazooka]

Mike Ashley's determined to open all his Houses of tat. Apparently Sports direct is an essential service. People need Champion trackies to exercise in. I vote we gut him and use his greed for fuel.

Have you never bought a shin pad from there as a scoop to shovel out your arse?

[Emma Raducanu]

I keep wondering how North Korea are dealing with this.

[idunnosomename]

Snowflakes

[BlodwynPig]

Think back a mere month...madness

[holyzombiejesus]

For the first time in human evolution our species is united against a common enemy. This is the time for all of us to support @BorisJohnson's measures to deal with a national emergency.

And in these dark days, there's still cause for hope. Around the planet there are approximately 100 million scientists, researchers, public servants and physicians working to kill The Virus. Science will win this war. And we must all play our part.

https://twitter.com/tom_watson/status/1242194794564194305?s=20

[holyzombiejesus]

THIS is why we shouldn't have C&B meets in Wetherspoons.

[EOLAN]

Toby Young doesn't seem to understand that the mortality rate may be <1% due to the extreme measures taken.

[buttgammon]

For ages, I just assumed Toby Young was pretending to be thick in the way contrarians often do, but now I've realised he is every bit as stupid as he seems.

[idunnosomename]

Toby young is such a terrible contrarian even by the low standards of the profession. I am astounded he seems to be even moderately successful at getting paid work

[BlodwynPig]

I live next to an airport - why are planes still flying?

just checked

Aberdeen, Southampton, Heathrow, Amsterdam and Dubai are the only flights from Newcastle, many using Loganair - Scotland's airline !