The worst responses to the coronavirus

[Fambo Number Mive]

People being taxed for not being patriotic enough or having a big enough poppy.

These days you say you're English and you get a tax cut.

[Sebastian Cobb]

https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/uk-news/sunak-eat-out-help-out-19267201

Rishi Sunak's Eat out to Help Out scheme could make a comeback this winter
The economy rebounded significantly whilst the scheme ran across the UK

[Fambo Number Mive]

Covid cases also rebounded significantly due to the scheme.

And areas with a higher rate of uptake - both from restaurants and consumers - experienced a sharp increase in new Covid-19 infection clusters a week after the scheme started, with 8-17% of the newly detected clusters attributed to it.

Meanwhile, areas with high uptake saw a decline in new infections a week after the scheme came to an end on August 31.

Surely indoor dining is one of the worst things to encourage during a pandemic? Why doesn't Sunak limit it to takeout only?

[thelittlemango]

Rishi burgers all round lads!

[EOLAN]

Economy is tanking as Covid cases increase and lockdown measures required.
Easing of lockdown as Covid figures are under control.
Let's stimulate the economy by eating out with Rishi.
Covid cases rise as a result of scheme.
Economy is tanking as Covid cases increase and lockdown measures required and so on and so forth. 

[frajer]

I hope Rishi accidentally eats out a bucket of acid but tries to front it out for the cameras, spluttering "Cor these chicken wings are a bit spicyyy!" even as his lips melt.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Rishi's mad friday before christmas.

[JamesTC]

Red Rishi strikes again.

[olliebean]

Also, surely people buy the same amount of food whether they work from home or in an office?

Yes but they don't spend as much on it because the law that says you've got to buy shite overpriced sandwiches from Pret for your work lunches doesn't apply to home workers.

[Fambo Number Mive]

It does feel a bit weird that Strictly Come Dancing is still able to go on.

[BlodwynPig]

It does feel a bit weird that Strictly Come Dancing is still able to go on.

Adams out because her partner got Covid. Yet they didn't cancel the show!!!!???!!

[dissolute ocelot]

Adams out because her partner got Covid. Yet they didn't cancel the show!!!!???!!

Having just watched This Morning, apparently lots of them now have to isolate, the judge Mabuse has rushed home to Germany for some kind of emergency, and they don't know how Adams' partner Natya got it in isolation. I expect postponement or something.

[jobotic]

But what about national morale? We need Strictly and it doesn't matter how many have to die to get it.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Why not just repeat a previous year's run of Strictly and wait until 2021 to have it live? It's not like people are going to riot if there is no Strictly.

"50,000 dead, should we cancel the dancing show where people can't wear masks or socially distance and sometimes touch hands?"

"No, the masses like it. We can't have them watching something on BBC 1 that makes them think"

"OK. Hey, Laurence Fox is interested in playing the lead in Conservative P.I. a show about a private detective who investigates crimes committed by the anfia woke liberal communist Corbynite Remainer fascist elite."

"Excellent. Let's have six episodes."

[Sebastian Cobb]

Everyone on Strictly getting covid is the best possible outcome the series could have though.

[Cuellar]

"OK. Hey, Laurence Fox is interested in playing the lead in Conservative P.I. a show about a private detective who investigates crimes committed by the anfia woke liberal communist Corbynite Remainer fascist elite."

Script by Robert Galbraith

[Cuellar]

Apparently an Ireland footballer has tested positive today, after playing the full game against England last night (was it?), but no one has to isolate because there was no close contact between him and any member of the Ireland or England teams or staff.

?

[Dex Sawash]

If dad or Bryson cark it, can just snap them right off

[Jittlebags]

Dickheads on the Nolan show now.

[Norton Canes]

Fuck Eid al-Fitr, fuck Diwali, but let's make sure we pull out all the stops for Christmas.

We get the message.

Should there be a separate COVID racism thread?

[petercussing]

Just got this glossy leaflet through the door. I thought it was from the government at first. Who the fuck's paying for it?

https://img1.wsimg.com/blobby/go/ee2b1b8c-cfee-4d2e-aa2b-4d5b03c510fd/MiriAF.pdf

Oh, shut my mouth, i got one of these things today. I wonder if the print files are doing the rounds and folks are priniting them locally or whether it is some rich jerk. Anyone else had one yet. THis is in Kent.

[George Oscar Bluth II]

^^^ the problem with this kind of shit is that clearly the people pushing it are not thinking about it for one moment. Every government in the world has clubbed together to exaggerate the threat of this thing to...shut their own economies down, stop their people doing the things that make life worthwhile[nb]Except posting on the internet, eh readers[/nb] and make themselves look like inept chumps. Makes total sense!

At least 9/11 trutherism made sense. If anything, it made more sense than what actually happened.

[Fambo Number Mive]

In America, people are paying others to wait in the COVID testing line for them.

https://twitter.com/TaylorLorenz/status/1330532826798821376

What are these people doing while they pay someone else to stand in the COVID testing line for them? They aren't getting to the front any quicker, they just aren't standing in the queue all that time.

[dissolute ocelot]

French police have fined a man who left his home with a written lockdown declaration stating he was out to "smash a guy's face in".

Daniel Kerdraon, the local police chief, said his officers had discovered the 39-year-old lurking behind a car late on Friday evening.

"When asked what he was doing he explained that he was waiting for someone to 'smash their face in' ... he had the written form with his real name and the time he had left home – 10.15pm – but we told him his reason for going out was not valid."

What's French for Legend Gary?

[Fambo Number Mive]

I do have sympathy for business owners given the lack of compensation they are receiving for losing trade from the government that can afford millions for hackers, but that doesn't justify repeatedly opening during the lockdown.

On the video, she is heard saying: "I don't consent to any fines, so it will just be returned to sender."

She had also displayed a poster on the salon door which refers to the Magna Carta and says the shop is "under the jurisdiction of common law".

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-55057700

Imagine if one of her customers had their hair cut and said "I don't consent to paying you for this haircut, under the jurisdiction of common law. If you don't like it, read your Magna Carta". She'd be rightly furious and get them arrested.

[BlodwynPig]

Wrong version of the Magna Carta you covid cunt.

[olliebean]

Go catch Covid for Britain.

[BlodwynPig]

Tears for the high street. Dr Chris is folding in on himself

[Icehaven]

I'm not even remotely, slightly, vaguely anti-vaccination, in fact I'm currently trying to find out if my 83 year old mum is in likely to be contacted about it anytime soon, however yesterday I was sent a 20 second video on WhatsApp of someone saying they'd just had the jab and it was fine, they felt great, but their head had crudely been turned into broccoli and their face was all distorted, and it looked ridiculous, and I'm extremely puerile so I found it funny. It's hardly hardcore misinformation, it's just an obviously absurd visual joke that you don't have to have any sympathy with the anti-vax stance to find amusing.
I have a cousin who I exchange amusing Whatsapps with sometimes, and a few she sends definitely sail far closer to "Covid conspiracy" territory than I'm remotely comfortable with but I just ignore those ones, so I thought we'd established a tacit understanding that our views are considerably different on these things. However I made the fatal, schoolgirl error of sending her the broccolihead one and what did I get in return less than a minute later? A video of Jim Davidson ranting about something. I didn't actually listen to it of course, but now I'm worried she thinks I'm coming over to the dark side and I'm going to start getting all kinds of murky crap she's been saving up because she thought I wouldn't like it that I have to ignore.

[Fambo Number Mive]

This article is shocking and very bleak. I've spoliered it because it's quite a tough read.


How wedding guests don't care whether wedding photographers live or die in the age of COVID:

Spoiler alert

The wedding photographer had already spent an hour or two inside with the unmasked wedding party when one of the bridesmaids approached her. The woman thanked her for still showing up, considering "everything that's going on with the groom."

When the photographer asked what she meant by that, the bridesmaid said the groom had tested positive for the coronavirus the day before. "She was looking for me to be like, 'Oh, that's crazy,' like I was going to agree with her that it was fine," the photographer recalls. "So I was like, 'What are you talking about?' And she was like, 'Oh, no, no, no, don't freak out. He doesn't have symptoms. He's fine.' "

The photographer, who has asthma and three kids, left with her assistant before the night was over. Her exit was tense. The wedding planner said it was the most unprofessional thing she'd ever seen. Bridesmaids accused her of heartlessly ruining an innocent woman's wedding day. She recalls one bridesmaid telling her, "I'm a teacher. I have fourteen students. If I'm willing to risk it, why aren't you?" Another said everyone was going to get COVID eventually, so what was the big deal? The friend of the bride who'd spilled the beans cried about being the "worst bridesmaid ever."...

The photographer who got sick after shooting the COVID-positive groom said her experiences throughout the pandemic have left her a little depressed. She recalled one conversation from that wedding, before she left the reception. "I have children," she told a bridesmaid. "What if my children die?" The bridesmaid responded, "I understand, but this is her wedding day."

[close]

https://www.texasmonthly.com/being-texan/texas-wedding-photographers-have-seen-some/

I imagine this happens a lot in the UK as well.