The worst responses to the coronavirus

[Zetetic]

Listening to people talking about what a fucking success COVID has been for breaking down barriers in healthcare data and getting to do work they'd always wanted to do.

Struggling to resist unmuting to ask where the 100,000k dead factor into all of that.

Can't wait for "professionalisation" to kick in and I can finally be put living into the tomb.

[Norton Canes]

KPMG boss Bill Michael quits after 'stop moaning' row

The UK chairman of KPMG has resigned following a row over comments he made at a meeting on Monday.

Bill Michael had reportedly told consultants to "stop moaning" about the impact of the pandemic and lockdown on people's lives, and to stop "playing the victim card"

[bgmnts]

I think the apology has lost almost any meaning whatsoever. Did it have any meaning? Has anyone who consistently does and says shit things ever meant it when they issued an apology? I have no idea. I'm in the abyss.

[BlodwynPig]

I think the apology has lost almost any meaning whatsoever. Did it have any meaning? Has anyone who consistently does and says shit things ever meant it when they issued an apology? I have no idea. I'm in the abyss.

I'm sorry.

Garlic Fozz....

[bgmnts]

Not even a proper fake apology!

[olliebean]

[Cuellar]

Can't wait to shop, christ, I'm so desperate for a shop. Just got to shop, on a street. Please. Let me go onto a street and shop.

[frajer]

Now It's Ready, Steady, Drop! Dead That Is!!

"Lockdown is keeping people safe but stopping them spending money, so obviously this cannot be allowed to continue," Boris wanked on and on, as if he wasn't just a piece of shit.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Meanwhile Tim Martin wants the pubs open in April and some Tory MPs want all restrictions gone by May.

I really don't want a summer lockdown but these idiots are making it more likely.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Lots of reports of people having illegal parties and other types of gatherings but I think calling your makeshift bar the COVID arms before inviting people around is an extra level of thumbing your nose at everyone trying to comply with the lockdown. Only the owner was fined in that case, everyone else was allowed to leave.

[olliebean]

The next lockdown will be too late, presumably, like all the others. Probably even later this time because Johnson will resist it for longer having gone on about how the easing of restrictions this time has to be "irreversible."

[frajer]

Presumably he's already practicing his solemn face while saying "hindsight" in the mirror.

[jobotic]

What a shame.

https://mobile.twitter.com/pennyrimbaud1/status/1361650092042821636

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

What a shame.

https://mobile.twitter.com/pennyrimbaud1/status/1361650092042821636

Bahleeted. What was the gist of it?

[SpiderChrist]

Not sure if it's the same sentiment, but

https://www.instagram.com/p/CLW5A_IjvG7/?igshid=jibnd04l2s4y

[The Culture Bunker]

Yeah, that's the same nonsense he put up on Twitter.

[olliebean]

What does "We are as we are as nature that so we be" even mean?

[frajer]

What does "We are as we are as nature that so we be" even mean?

Can't help reading that in Charlie Kelly's voice. "So do. So doooo."

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Not sure if it's the same sentiment, but

https://www.instagram.com/p/CLW5A_IjvG7/?igshid=jibnd04l2s4y

oh okay it's some dipshit on the mushrooms

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Repeatedly bulldozing a Bedouin village in a pandemic, how classy:

https://www.reuters.com/article/israel-palestinians-int-idUSKBN2A32F6
https://www.irishtimes.com/news/world/europe/israel-destroys-irish-aid-to-palestinian-village-community-1.4489881

[dissolute ocelot]

Gwyneth Paltrow was suffering from long COVID but now she's consulted a chiropractor and will sell you a selection of products to help treat long COVID including "a $220 pair of hiking shoes, a $145 hiking tank top, and an $8,600 gold necklace" and "a $500 infrared sauna blanket, a $98 oil, a $125 serum, and $125 overnight acid peel".

[buttgammon]

What the fuck is an 'infrared sauna blanket'? That's just a random assortment of words from a spam email.

[frajer]

I did have long COVID but now thanks to Gwyneth Paltrow's advice I no longer suffer with a house.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Man who owns four restaurants in Central London is given a column in the Daily Mail to shout "Restaurants are safe" https://twitter.com/kelly_welles/status/1363771292722360322

Can I also nominate the man who didn't put his hand to his mouth when he coughed? We were on a narrow path and he wasn't wearing a mask, he was about 2m from me when he coughed and we were walking towards each other. I couldn't cross the road because it was a three lane A road with cars whizzing along.

Nearly a year into the pandemic and people still aren't putting their hand to their mouth or coughing into their elbow. He looked so happy as he walked past me having coughed everywhere. What a fuckwit.

[ajsmith2]

Fairly cringeworthy homage to 'Zulu'/Rourke's drift with media class skeptics (Delingpole, Hartley Brewer et al) playing themselves as the plucky pith helmeted heros gunning down an army of, er,'Karens' a term that in their universe is seemingly somehow synonymous with anyone who believes the lockdown is necessary (should have gone with NPC instead if they wanted to force in a slightly dated buzzword: at least that term is broad enough to make some kind of logical sense). 'Lockdown Skeptics Will Not Yield' indeed.

https://youtu.be/J2pRhYJ4mdc

[Bazooka]

Gwyneth Paltrow was suffering from long COVID but now she's consulted a chiropractor and will sell you a selection of products to help treat long COVID including "a $220 pair of hiking shoes, a $145 hiking tank top, and an $8,600 gold necklace" and "a $500 infrared sauna blanket, a $98 oil, a $125 serum, and $125 overnight acid peel".

Oof that oil is a bit expensive.

[Mr Banlon]

Fairly cringeworthy homage to 'Zulu'/Rourke's drift with media class skeptics (Delingpole, Hartley Brewer et al) playing themselves as the plucky pith helmeted heros gunning down an army of, er,'Karens' a term that in their universe is seemingly somehow synonymous with anyone who believes the lockdown is necessary (should have gone with NPC instead if they wanted to force in a slightly dated buzzword: at least that term is broad enough to make some kind of logical sense). 'Lockdown Skeptics Will Not Yield' indeed.

https://youtu.be/J2pRhYJ4mdc

Bad comparison really. They lost in the end.

[keir]

Not to be outdone by Ian Brown, the drummer out of Shed Seven has done a poem called "War On Civil Liberties Conscientious Objector". This was in October, don't know how I missed it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChRrrBB6ek8

[jamiefairlie]

the drummer out of Shed Seven

Surely the most 'Ken' job description of all?

'Must have absolutely no memorable personal characteristics'

[flotemysost]

Man who owns four restaurants in Central London is given a column in the Daily Mail to shout "Restaurants are safe" https://twitter.com/kelly_welles/status/1363771292722360322

Surely the biggest travesty here is that this person was allowed to be called Ranald Macdonald, instead of Ranald Macdanald (or indeed the obvious and ironic alternative alluded to in all the comments below). Haven't heard such an unsatisfying name since Chris Noth.