German Comedy

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

There is a film on Netflix called Mein Führer that's kind of a German The King's Speech, with a twist that, obviously, the 'king' is Hitler and the tutor is Jewish.  I don't know whether the language barrier was a factor, but it was really quite an odd tone.  Lots of slapstick and Hitler acting like a child, but the film opens in a death camp and the first big gag is when a Jewish man, ordered into the "showers", walks to his doom sobbing and utterly breaking down, when - surprise!  it really was a shower!

They also do the bit with the interminable 'Heil Hitler's from JoJo Rabbit.

Sounds beyond horrendous.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Schlenkerla brewery in Bamberg has declared their Street a 'silly walks zone' in honour of Monty Python, in efforts to lighten the mood.

The soft bastards. What will actually happen is people will look like they are goose-stepping by what is - having been there - an architecturally chauvinist stereotype of Germania.

[Jockice]

Yes it exists.

The only German comics I like are puppeteers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gu9w3cbVvxk

Michael Hatzius - plays a brilliant saxonian old boy (think Mancunian/Glaswegian) called "the lizard" ("die Eidechse", or "die Echse" for short) who tells improbable stories and goads the audience with dramatic gestures and sudden lurching from a default reclined posture. This clip also features "Das Huhn" ("the chicken") as an opener, who is a simply adorable.

Got to admit I've become absolutely fascinated by this character to the extent that I've now watched another four clips of him. Unfortunately my CSE grade four in German doesn't give me much leeway towards understanding it. Anyone fancy doing a translation?

[Pseudopath]

Schlenkerla brewery in Bamberg has declared their Street a 'silly walks zone' in honour of Monty Python, in efforts to lighten the mood.

The soft bastards. What will actually happen is people will look like they are goose-stepping by what is - having been there - an architecturally chauvinist stereotype of Germania.

Bit of a harsh take. Bamberg is hardly a theme park (like Rothenberg ob der Tauber it was just lucky enough not to get bombed to fuck in World War II). And surely the "silly walks" are in honour of the original brewer who had a funny gait (Schlenkern means "to dangle") rather than a Monty Python tribute?

[studpuppet]

Well if you want a proper theme park...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LetW7jua5aw

[Retinend]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gu9w3cbVvxk
. Anyone fancy doing a translation?

Yes - I am always delighted to be able to promote cross-cultural knowledge. I'll do it in pieces:

Part 1: The Chicken (the start until the entrance of the Echse)

Hello there.
Right, well, I'm not the Echse.
But the Echse is coming.
So don't worry
Or think that the Echse isn't coming any more.
He's still coming.
So in the meantime I'm just me HAHAHAHAHA
But not for much longer.
No. Not so much longer.
Then the Echse will be coming.
Yeah he'll be sitting right here.
I think the Echse is cool.
yeah like how he walks about and so on.
And how he tells his stories...
yeah he's cool.
I'm not so cool...
I'm a chicken. And being a chicken is fine.
Well - there are of course some better things in the world to be...
yet I'm in fact a chicken
and... being a chicken is... okay.

I wouldn't even like to be the Echse!
Waaay too many women.
And then there's all the hype
and public exposure
and you're in the middle of it all
and all your craziest desires are immediately fulfilled.
In fact ladies and gentlemen, I don't think it's even very good for your character when you have so much money
like the Echse does...

I am a chicken.
Being a chicken is ok!
...my wife said that I am "okay".
She has always said it!

So anyway I also have a little activity here and, indeed, the Echse has asked me - enlisted my help - that I should inform you all that after the performance for those who are hungry there is - if you go down the road in the direction of er - let's say in the direction of the city centre - er anyway on your left  there'll be a Chinese/Thai takeaway ..
and I should give you a little overview of the menu...

Firstly there is "T1" which...

STRUGGLES AND FAILS TO PRONOUNCE THE PHRASE "ROAST CHICKEN" (Huhnefleisch gebraten), "GEBRAAA" BECOMING "BUKAWW"

Weird. You know I'm actually quite good at reading out loud normally.

SECOND ATTEMPT TO PRONOUNCE "T1: ROAST CHICKEN"

...Anyway there's also "T2", "with asian vegetables"
And if you don't fancy that can choose "T3" which is...

ENCOUNTERS THE EXACT SAME PHRASE

oh man how many even are there?

..."T76"...

Anyway - T76 is....

FAILS TO PRONOUNCE "ROAST DUCK"

COMEDY BEAT

...Anyway - "T2"

LAUGHTER

"Roast Chi-" BUKAW
"Rrrrro-" BUKAW
"with onio-" BUKAW
"with o-" BUKAW

Oh this is driving me nuts.

"with oyste" BUKAW
"with o" BUKAW
that is to say with CASHEW NUTS

And if you don't want that you can have "T3"
That is... it's something else.

COMEDY BEAT

Oh wait no it's the same:"Roast Chi-" BUKAW
"Rrrrro-" BUKAW
"with..."
With whaaat? Oh my God... 
With BUKAAAAAAW?
BUKAAAAW?
BUKAAAAAAAAW?

...What's going on here then?

HOLDS AN EGG ALOFT

How should I explain this to my wife?! Get back in there where you come from!

COMEDY BEAT

Ok "T3"...
BUKAW BUKAW BUKAW
PICK PICK PICK
BBBB BUKAW
and there's RED GREEN AND YELLOW ONES and lemongrass and so on and now it's finally time for the Echse! Have fun!!!

[Jockice]

Aw, thanks very much!

[Pseudopath]

Fine work, Retinend. Vielen Dank.

[Pseudopath]

If anyone is wondering what Die Echse (the lizard) is, here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-vOhvq8N1c

Think someone might need to learn these guys about ventriloquism.

[Retinend]

Nichts zu danken

Part 2: Evolution 6:40 - 12:30

SEATS HIMSELF AND MURMURS

It used to be much easier (sitting)
You wouldn't believe the chairs we used to sit on!
I could tell you all about it
uh!
That there would be a "lizard-cramp"
Wait I have to shake it out

SHAKES IT OUT

Better.
Wait - "21" - aaaand now is the old frog seated.

SMOKES TO APPLAUSE

So then:
I'm the Echse.
I
I was there from the beginning, you could say
It's as I always say:
"evolution
that was my playground".
It all started
at the beginning
with the big bang.
eh?
Loud as hell.
People, I was sitting right next to it
It took my ears right off,
I still don't have any today.

And at the time of the big bang
everyone was just a single individual cell.
Obviously
compared with today's world
not a lot
but we were happy!
Everyone had the same as everyone else
The shitty thing was
For example when playing football
See, everyone was just an individual cell
So you never knew
Is that the ball?


Or is that my teammate?


Or is that the stadium?


And we all sat there together
The boys and I
Nice and casually
No women around
and that's when we said it
clever as we were
we came out and said it
I don't know who said it
I think I might have said it
we said
"dude"
we just said "dude"


and then next morning
we were off to B&Q
and we got ourselves a cell membrane.
One of those hanging right next to where you pay
and so we brought it home
and in a riveting operation
I can tell you more about it later
pulled it through
through the cells right through
tacked on in the front
stuck in the back
bish bash bosh
it worked
so everyone had two cells
one for professional usage
SPEAKS CONFIDENTIALLY
(so you could write off those expenses)

the shittiest thing was
we hadn't patented the idea
then these cheap membranes came out of Taiwan
and cell membranes was every cunt's hobby!
and bish bash bosh
everyone was pulling membranes through their cell walls

and then all that shit with branching of species got going
and you are lucky out there
you must have been lucky
SPEAKS PRETENTIOUSLY
There is only one thing that truly ever matters:
luck
and in those days if you were lucky
then you'd be a shark or a whale and so on
and if you drew the [Arschkarte]["ass card"/short straw]
you'd be a plankton.
Not much could be done for you then.

To which I must say
personally
well...
Being a plankton is...
one the one hand
cute
but on the other hand
you can't watch it for long
really
COMEDY BEAT
just like women's football!

[Jockice]

Cheers! I'm enjoying this. May find my old Linguaphone learn German kit now.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Bit of a harsh take. Bamberg is hardly a theme park (like Rothenberg ob der Tauber it was just lucky enough not to get bombed to fuck in World War II). And surely the "silly walks" are in honour of the original brewer who had a funny gait (Schlenkern means "to dangle") rather than a Monty Python tribute?

My post wasn't intended with the harshness you appear to have taken it as, I was going for light hearted.

Yes the Schlenkerla brand has a limping man so it is quite appropriate. Overall though, too much risk of goose stepping and lameness as often happens when anyone except the Pythons themselves perform their material.

[Retinend]

Did somebody say Linguaphone? I just had to share this sketch from Loriot. As someone very familiar with these kinds of language manuals, I was almost convinced it was the exact same voice actors I had heard on tape:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxhub0QmPE0&feature=youtu.be
contains boobs

[Retinend]

Me neither, but it reminds me of the French film "Ridicule" from 1996,

Wish I could find the clip online.

And since I'm up, here's the scene of the film I was mentioning right there:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooKqfecTVWM&feature=youtu.be
no boobs (which you'll admit is a feat if you've seen the film)

[Jockice]

Did somebody say Linguaphone? I just had to share this sketch from Loriot. As someone very familiar with these kinds of language manuals, I was almost convinced it was the exact same voice actors I had heard on tape:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxhub0QmPE0&feature=youtu.be
contains boobs

I did. It's somewhere in this flat. I got it when I was laid up with my back injury intending to learn properly. And I also did evening classes at one point. But I never got beyond the basics. I was off after an operation for a long period in fourth year at secondary school and although I managed to catch up in most subjects (well the ones that mattered) German (which I'd previously been okay at) was the one that fell by the wayside. It's always bugged me because I actually quite liked it.

[Pseudopath]

My post wasn't intended with the harshness you appear to have taken it as, I was going for light hearted.

Sorry if I misread it, S?-S!. Just thought "architecturally chauvinist" was a bit of an obtuse way of describing a thousand year old town.

[hummingofevil]

"scooben dooben"

Laughed

[Mr. Ssmsslth]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwtAIqB1UR0