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March 28, 2024, 08:44:02 PM

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Out of touch Dad

Started by Kryton, March 20, 2020, 04:09:59 PM

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Kryton

'Aye son, well I guess when your school closes you can sit and watch all them videos on your Nintendo now eh?'.

Dex Sawash


"Always up there playing fucking Miss Pacman"

BlodwynPig

A beaming OOT Dad comes down the stairs and into the living room.

To wife: "Nothing under the mattress! Nothing...He's a good lad"


Kryton

OOT Dad: Why are you wasting your life sitting upstairs playing SEGA? You need to go out and socialise with your friends at the youth club.

Son: But Dad we've been told to self isola-

OOT Dad: Out now!

BlodwynPig

OOT Dad: "Son, your old enough now for me to show you my special collection of rare stamps that one day you will inherit. I've also bought you the latest special edition Royal Mail collection featuring your favourite - Thomas the Tank Engine"

Son: "Fuck no, Da, you auld cunt. WHAT THE FOOK IS THIS HONKIN' SHIT!!!!"

Son tears out of house to score some mephcat and OOT RAGE HURLS THE WHOLE STAMP COLLECTION INTO THE FIREPLACE.

-----

It's winter now. The sound of the letterbox sends OOT into a melancholy he never recovers from.

Glebe

Not Accepting Middle-Age Neddy becomes a father.

Deyv

Quote from: Glebe on March 20, 2020, 08:25:23 PM
Not Accepting Middle-Age Neddy becomes a father.

Yet somehow never lost his edge.

Ferris

OOTD: alright dennis?
Brian: I'm brian
OOTD: oh right sorry that's what I meant

Lemming

Out of Touch Dad is an incredibly huge fan of the similarly named Hall & Oates song

"So... what do you do these days? Still happy slappying your mates from school?"

Ferris

I've brought you an orangina and copy of the Dandy!

#11
"Son, I remember when getting Tangoed meant having an actual nob of butter stuck up your arse."

Kryton

#12
Listen Lad, I want you to have my copy of Reader's wives (1986), it'll make a man of you. Oh and also I found this AOL Disk that'll help with your internets's and broadwidth and blueband.


Sit down, Son. I've got something to tell you.

I've just been punk'd.

Kryton

Listen I think it's about time we go visit your Gran.

But Dad she's not been alive for sev-

We visit your Gran!

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Kryton on March 21, 2020, 01:34:43 AM
Listen Lad, I want you to have my copy of Reader's wives (1986), it'll make a man of you. Oh and also I found this AOL Disk that'll help with your internets's and broadwidth and blueband.

Crying. My dear departed father did that last one... in 1998.

Poobum

Come int' bathroom lad, come int' bathroom. ffrrrrt I'm that tubgirl  from t'internet, frrrrrt, LAD!? frrrt.

Kelvin

"I've been watching some Les Dawson clips on youtube. He's still got it!"

Glebe

"Hey kids, big fan of The Eminem here! Er... anyone need a radiator fixed?"

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

"Touch me Dad. No, not there, HERE!"

Gregory Torso

Out Of Touch Dad moonwalks into the PTA meeting. "What's up, nonces?"

Ferris

"I tell you what, that Tony Blair seems like a real breath of fresh air"

Gregory Torso

Out Of Touch Dad shouts "Gangnam style!" at a car full of teenagers.

BlodwynPig

OOTD loads up his favourite comedy forum

"Heh, I'm not like them OOTDs, I've got a fucking great sense of self-awareness and am up to date with all the latest trends"

Quote'Aye son, well I guess when your school closes you can sit and watch all them videos on your Nintendo now eh?'.

he types and posts.

"He he he...so knowing, so acerbic...Now time to watch Gentle Ben with the kid"

Glebe

"We can beat this caramba if we take appropriate measures, which is why I'm wearing a colander on my face today, guys- I look like Brain in the Batman films!"

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Look son, I'm doing goaty from the internet! Look how far open I've got it!

willpurry

Try not to share your fidget spinner, son.

"Where's Sean Leonard Phillips these days? Is he still playing for Arsenal?"

Quote from: Kelvin on March 21, 2020, 01:26:04 PM
"I've been watching some Les Dawson clips on youtube. He's still got it!"

"Hi, Kelvin. I can't sanction this being here. This is not the In Touch Dad thread. Please take your custom elsewhere, thanks."

Ferris

Don't worry, I brought enough semolina for everyone!