Author Topic: Out of touch Dad  (Read 2707 times)

Kryton

  • (Not) An actual threat to humanity.
Out of touch Dad
« on: March 20, 2020, 04:09:59 PM »
'Aye son, well I guess when your school closes you can sit and watch all them videos on your Nintendo now eh?'.

Dex Sawash

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Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2020, 04:59:55 PM »

"Always up there playing fucking Miss Pacman"

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2020, 05:02:09 PM »
A beaming OOT Dad comes down the stairs and into the living room.

To wife: "Nothing under the mattress! Nothing...He's a good lad"


Kryton

  • (Not) An actual threat to humanity.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2020, 06:26:59 PM »
OOT Dad: Why are you wasting your life sitting upstairs playing SEGA? You need to go out and socialise with your friends at the youth club.

Son: But Dad we've been told to self isola-

OOT Dad: Out now!

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2020, 06:34:07 PM »
OOT Dad: "Son, your old enough now for me to show you my special collection of rare stamps that one day you will inherit. I've also bought you the latest special edition Royal Mail collection featuring your favourite - Thomas the Tank Engine"

Son: "Fuck no, Da, you auld cunt. WHAT THE FOOK IS THIS HONKIN' SHIT!!!!"

Son tears out of house to score some mephcat and OOT RAGE HURLS THE WHOLE STAMP COLLECTION INTO THE FIREPLACE.

-----

It's winter now. The sound of the letterbox sends OOT into a melancholy he never recovers from.

Glebe

  • This is a low-flying panic attack.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2020, 08:25:23 PM »
Not Accepting Middle-Age Neddy becomes a father.

Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #6 on: March 20, 2020, 08:26:40 PM »
Not Accepting Middle-Age Neddy becomes a father.

Yet somehow never lost his edge.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2020, 12:09:14 AM »
OOTD: alright dennis?
Brian: I’m brian
OOTD: oh right sorry that’s what I meant

Lemming

  • Short-Burst Underwater Crying
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2020, 12:46:47 AM »
Out of Touch Dad is an incredibly huge fan of the similarly named Hall & Oates song

His Name Is Death

  • A new life awaits you.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #9 on: March 21, 2020, 12:49:29 AM »
"So... what do you do these days? Still happy slappying your mates from school?"

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2020, 12:53:59 AM »
I’ve brought you an orangina and copy of the Dandy!

His Name Is Death

  • A new life awaits you.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #11 on: March 21, 2020, 12:59:51 AM »
"Son, I remember when getting Tangoed meant having an actual nob of butter stuck up your arse."
« Last Edit: March 21, 2020, 02:29:39 AM by His Name Is Death »

Kryton

  • (Not) An actual threat to humanity.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #12 on: March 21, 2020, 01:34:43 AM »
Listen Lad, I want you to have my copy of Reader's wives (1986), it'll make a man of you. Oh and also I found this AOL Disk that'll help with your internets's and broadwidth and blueband.

« Last Edit: March 21, 2020, 03:20:03 AM by Kryton »

His Name Is Death

  • A new life awaits you.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #13 on: March 21, 2020, 02:38:38 AM »
Sit down, Son. I've got something to tell you.

I've just been punk'd.

Kryton

  • (Not) An actual threat to humanity.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #14 on: March 21, 2020, 03:21:14 AM »
Listen I think it's about time we go visit your Gran.

But Dad she's not been alive for sev-

We visit your Gran!

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #15 on: March 21, 2020, 08:36:17 AM »
Listen Lad, I want you to have my copy of Reader's wives (1986), it'll make a man of you. Oh and also I found this AOL Disk that'll help with your internets's and broadwidth and blueband.

Crying. My dear departed father did that last one... in 1998.

Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #16 on: March 21, 2020, 01:04:33 PM »
Come int' bathroom lad, come int' bathroom. ffrrrrt I'm that tubgirl  from t'internet, frrrrrt, LAD!? frrrt.

Kelvin

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Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #17 on: March 21, 2020, 01:26:04 PM »
"I've been watching some Les Dawson clips on youtube. He's still got it!"

Glebe

  • This is a low-flying panic attack.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #18 on: March 21, 2020, 03:27:08 PM »
"Hey kids, big fan of The Eminem here! Er... anyone need a radiator fixed?"

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

  • In France we call it le bellend
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #19 on: March 21, 2020, 04:17:23 PM »
"Touch me Dad. No, not there, HERE!"

Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #20 on: March 21, 2020, 04:26:34 PM »
Out Of Touch Dad moonwalks into the PTA meeting. "What's up, nonces?"

FerriswheelBueller

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    • I am antsy for baseball in the off-season.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #21 on: March 21, 2020, 04:28:10 PM »
“I tell you what, that Tony Blair seems like a real breath of fresh air”

Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #22 on: March 21, 2020, 04:33:06 PM »
Out Of Touch Dad shouts "Gangnam style!" at a car full of teenagers.

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #23 on: March 21, 2020, 05:46:52 PM »
OOTD loads up his favourite comedy forum

"Heh, I'm not like them OOTDs, I've got a fucking great sense of self-awareness and am up to date with all the latest trends"

Quote
'Aye son, well I guess when your school closes you can sit and watch all them videos on your Nintendo now eh?'.

he types and posts.

"He he he...so knowing, so acerbic...Now time to watch Gentle Ben with the kid"

Glebe

  • This is a low-flying panic attack.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #24 on: March 21, 2020, 05:56:19 PM »
"We can beat this caramba if we take appropriate measures, which is why I'm wearing a colander on my face today, guys- I look like Brain in the Batman films!"

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

  • In France we call it le bellend
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #25 on: March 21, 2020, 06:00:18 PM »
Look son, I'm doing goaty from the internet! Look how far open I've got it!

Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #26 on: March 21, 2020, 07:18:32 PM »
Try not to share your fidget spinner, son.

His Name Is Death

  • A new life awaits you.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #27 on: March 21, 2020, 07:25:49 PM »
"Where's Sean Leonard Phillips these days? Is he still playing for Arsenal?"

His Name Is Death

  • A new life awaits you.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #28 on: March 22, 2020, 12:28:51 AM »
"I've been watching some Les Dawson clips on youtube. He's still got it!"

"Hi, Kelvin. I can't sanction this being here. This is not the In Touch Dad thread. Please take your custom elsewhere, thanks."

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #29 on: March 22, 2020, 02:34:27 AM »
Don’t worry, I brought enough semolina for everyone!

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