Author Topic: Out of touch Dad  (Read 2723 times)

His Name Is Death

  • A new life awaits you.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #30 on: March 22, 2020, 03:47:46 AM »
"What's that you're listening to? Anaconda, you say? Son, she never even met her."

His Name Is Death

  • A new life awaits you.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #31 on: March 22, 2020, 04:53:53 AM »
"Son, whenever I take a good look at your auntie, Joan, I'm minded to wonder if the council will ever get round to rubber-stamping my memorial to the gastric flu."

Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #32 on: March 22, 2020, 07:22:02 AM »
Thee must refrain from visiting the rollerskating park son. Clement Attlee's been on the wireless to tell us. You might have to ration your TAB cola too, there's a war on.

Glebe

  • This is a low-flying panic attack.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #33 on: March 22, 2020, 01:33:09 PM »
"Gotta say, real down with that new J-Loz track 'Jenny from the Block'. I was 'chilling', just listening to it on my personal CD player while I did a bit of work in the shed this morning. Those weeds need seeing to actually. Peace out!"

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

  • In France we call it le bellend
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #34 on: March 22, 2020, 01:36:42 PM »
My Dad did actually refer to my PS4 as a Sony Xbox once.

Glebe

  • This is a low-flying panic attack.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #35 on: March 22, 2020, 01:53:46 PM »
My Dad did actually refer to my PS4 as a Sony Xbox once.

NOT ACCEPTING MIDDLE AGE NED: Tch, out of touch old fogey! PS5 or GTFO!

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #36 on: March 22, 2020, 02:02:11 PM »
"I remember #metooing your mother in the 80s, son. Youngsters these days, think they invented everything"

Cardenio I

  • Hasta la muerte, todo es vida
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #37 on: March 23, 2020, 08:27:00 AM »
What is it with your generation, slim fit gilets, Magyar tattoos, trilbys halfway down their arse?

Glebe

  • This is a low-flying panic attack.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #38 on: March 24, 2020, 01:21:33 AM »
"I just bought an iPod, but I can't get to grips with the blimmin' thing!"

Kryton

  • (Not) An actual threat to humanity.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #39 on: March 24, 2020, 02:08:36 AM »
Right I've decided to be more social. Gym, cinema and then a very busy bar.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #40 on: March 24, 2020, 02:09:23 AM »
"I just bought an iPod, but I can't get to grips with the blimmin' thing!"

Knew I should have stuck with my Zune!”

Glebe

  • This is a low-flying panic attack.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #41 on: March 24, 2020, 10:03:40 AM »
"I just read on that wickedpedia on the information web that the pop group Mr. Big have released a cover of Cat Stevens' 'Wild World', which I remember first listening to back in my twenties... I hope to purchase the pop cassette at my local Woolworths, hopefully paying no more than 99p!"

Glebe

  • This is a low-flying panic attack.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #42 on: March 24, 2020, 07:40:55 PM »
"Went to the doctor today, it's a new one - black as the ace of spades, she was! I mean it's funny enough being treated by a woman. There was this bloke in the waiting room, he was talking loudly on his mobile phone, seemed like a right woofter! I suppose that's deemed 'acceptable' now. Anyway, must dash, want to get home in time for Taggart."

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #43 on: March 24, 2020, 08:38:25 PM »
"let me show you some of the good stuff we used to watch. Proper comedy"

sticks on The Mary Whitehouse Experience. At the bit where Hugh Dennis goes "what's this? It's got a good beat"

Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #44 on: March 24, 2020, 10:54:59 PM »
Oh heck lad, t'Romans have invaded Britain. Hurry up and get yer face painted blue, pray to Cunobelenus, and find yer spear, we're hahin' these bastards. Don't mind your mum being topless lad, trust me it'll scare the shit out of em.

Glebe

  • This is a low-flying panic attack.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #45 on: March 24, 2020, 11:02:05 PM »
"Hey guys, I'm real down with the modern times!"

And with that, Out of touch Dad procedes to move his arms like a robot and say "TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO!" in a silly high-pitched voice, until one of his children calls a mental health professional.

Glebe

  • This is a low-flying panic attack.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #46 on: March 25, 2020, 09:57:53 AM »
"Does anyone know how to record radio onto a CD's-ROMS?"

alan nagsworth

  • a ghost at his own feast
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #47 on: March 25, 2020, 11:06:47 AM »
out of touch dad writes "DEATH GRIPS" on his throbber, runs downstairs filming himself on snapchat and dick-slaps the sandwich out of son's hand

"GUILLOTIIIIINE!!!"

Glebe

  • This is a low-flying panic attack.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #48 on: March 25, 2020, 01:35:32 PM »
OoTD is babysitting his grandson.

"You're probably looking forward to watching Mister Waybaloo and His Fimble Friends whilst munching on jelly-sweets, but you can forget about it. Its boiled eggs and homework for you, my lad!"

Glebe

  • This is a low-flying panic attack.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #49 on: March 25, 2020, 10:14:51 PM »
"I put the boo-ray into the DVD player but it won't work. Bring back VHS, I say!"

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #50 on: March 25, 2020, 10:20:12 PM »
"I put the boo-ray into the DVD player but it won't work. Bring back VHS, I say!"

“Betamax, son, betamax”

Kryton

  • (Not) An actual threat to humanity.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #51 on: March 25, 2020, 10:44:00 PM »
Here son, listen to this. This is what old Muggins was into when he (I), went out 'raving'.
I'm afraid it's not like your skateboard music and thumpy bang bang stuff.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7Gi6j4w3DY&feature=emb_title

Proper music that is. Put that in your EMP players and your Netflux .

Glebe

  • This is a low-flying panic attack.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #52 on: March 26, 2020, 12:22:31 AM »
“Betamax, son, betamax”

Corrected Out of Touch Granddad.

Glebe

  • This is a low-flying panic attack.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #53 on: March 26, 2020, 10:59:55 AM »
"Hello, dad! This is a wonderful surprise! Come on in, I'll stick the kettle on!"

"Right, thanks."

"Sit down, for goodness' sake! That's a lovely jumper, is it new?"

"No, I bought it in Marks & Sparks two years ago."

*checks watch*

"Right, I'm off. See you next year."

Glebe

  • This is a low-flying panic attack.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #54 on: March 26, 2020, 04:51:45 PM »
"Kids now are all Segwaying around with their phone-pods, its really gotten out of hand!"

Phoenix Lazarus

  • Why bother writing stuff below your avatar?
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #55 on: March 26, 2020, 10:24:01 PM »
'Kids needn't be bored just 'cause this virus has left 'em at 'ome.  They can tape DLT off Radio One or make a new soap-box cart.  They'll soon be back on the town streets scrumpin' apples or smashin' windows with their catapults then suffering brutal retaliatory violence from adults, or roamin' the countryside till sundown then not bein' believed when they say Nice Mr Briggs ambushed and touched them.'

Glebe

  • This is a low-flying panic attack.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #56 on: March 26, 2020, 10:27:55 PM »
"They've got them DVDs in Poundland now - at only £1.49 a pop! I knew the format wouldn't last long! Go Team Betamax!"

Glebe

  • This is a low-flying panic attack.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #57 on: March 27, 2020, 09:54:02 AM »
"Back in my day, we were happy with a wooden toy and a satsuma at Christmas. Now they're all wearing virtual goggles and escaping into Star War land!"

Glebe

  • This is a low-flying panic attack.
Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #58 on: March 27, 2020, 06:41:58 PM »
"I can't get The Netflix to work. I try to turn up the volume but it just keeps forwarding and rewinding."

Re: Out of touch Dad
« Reply #59 on: March 27, 2020, 06:50:40 PM »
"I'm still seething about what that Rosa Parks did, sitting in the front seat of an Uber."

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