Author Topic: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic  (Read 2378 times)

Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« on: March 20, 2020, 05:40:45 PM »
My neighbour's grandkids won't be allowed to come over and kick the football against the fence or play with the fuckin dogshitting dog their cunted mother brings when she drops the little bastards off or they'll kill their nan.

Captain Z

  • Oh yeah my cholesterol's going down
Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2020, 06:13:16 PM »
Should get some banging music from bands and DJ/producers confined to their studios.

Lemming

  • Short-Burst Underwater Crying
Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2020, 06:14:44 PM »
- Working from home becomes more commonplace as society realises the overwhelming benefits
- Universities begin to transition towards offering greater opportunities for online learning, revolutionising and democratising education
- Governments forced to discuss universal income as a realistic possibility, bringing it further into the public consciousness
- I actually really like having permanent lung damage

gib

  • weak and wobbly
Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2020, 06:17:04 PM »
People get better at cooking.

Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2020, 06:28:02 PM »
Nothing will change, at all.

Sorry.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2020, 06:31:19 PM »
My neighbour's grandkids won't be allowed to come over and kick the football against the fence or play with the fuckin dogshitting dog their cunted mother brings when she drops the little bastards off or they'll kill their nan.

50 years old man lay law down

50 year old man

Old man here, how about the laws there, down are they

imitationleather

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Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #6 on: March 20, 2020, 06:32:02 PM »
Should get some banging music from bands and DJ/producers confined to their studios.

Yes hopefully there will be some nice creativity from people who are able to do that sort of thing.

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #7 on: March 20, 2020, 06:35:42 PM »
Yes hopefully there will be some nice creativity from people who are able to do that sort of thing.

CaB BAND ?

ollyboro

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Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #8 on: March 20, 2020, 06:38:13 PM »
It'll become socially acceptable to wander about sporting a gimp mask.

weekender

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Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #9 on: March 20, 2020, 06:41:47 PM »
Extra Strong Garlic Bread* for lunch everyday without some twat moaning about the smell in the kitchen or the smell of my breath.

*Top tip: buy the pre-sliced non-cheese versions and add Worcester Sauce and Red Leicester on top.  You will thank me for this.

Mister Six

  • Ridiculously teacakes
Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #10 on: March 20, 2020, 06:44:35 PM »
With countries' borders closing, plane travel down and people self-isolating rather driving their stupid fucking cars 200m down the road to get a bag of crisps, I imagine that the coronavirus is probably helping squash humanity's carbon footprint a bit.

Hopefully will also weed out a few of the horrible old people who keep voting against policies that would help spread wealth, improve work life and job security for the poor, and bolster the social safety net.

Saw a report a couple of weeks back saying Covid-19 could also damage male fertility, which also sounds like a good idea.

Honestly, so long as my parents (and Bernie Sanders and David Lynch) make it through this, coronavirus could turn out to be a net win.

Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #11 on: March 20, 2020, 08:49:19 PM »
Now that I don't have to worry about paying people, I'm basically on holiday until the world returns to normal.

idunnosomename

  • pizza pusheen
Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #12 on: March 20, 2020, 10:40:27 PM »
it's nice how the whole planet has got something to bond over. it's like a fire alarm in the middle of the night where we all go down in our dressing gowns and meet everyone else from our flats

Urinal Cake

  • -0/-0
Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #13 on: March 20, 2020, 10:46:25 PM »
Apparently the waters of Venice are clearing up, sea life is coming back and they saw their first dolphin in 60 years.

idunnosomename

  • pizza pusheen
Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #14 on: March 20, 2020, 11:01:45 PM »
only because the mud from the bottom of the canals isnt being dredged up, they're still full of chemicals and germs and you'd get lifelong eye infections if you swum in them

Twit 2

  • Fuck me, Graham!
Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #15 on: March 20, 2020, 11:25:06 PM »
Smengo-wanks

Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #16 on: March 20, 2020, 11:27:23 PM »
Lots of other people are isolated and anxious and brought down to my level.

I enjoy this.

Malcy

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Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #17 on: March 20, 2020, 11:33:29 PM »
Not having to go to the dole office for the forseeable. That really is about the only upside.

chveik

  • JAZZ SNOB EAT SHIT
Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #18 on: March 20, 2020, 11:56:23 PM »
I don't have to pretend to look for a job.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #19 on: March 21, 2020, 12:11:13 AM »
Aston Villa will not be relegated (this year).

ollyboro

  • More pussy than Sinatra
Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #20 on: March 21, 2020, 12:20:56 PM »
It appears the huge decrease in traffic has led to the traffic lights at the a19/a689 junction being turned off. Lovely stuff. Hate getting stuck there for no reason. Unless they're broken and no cunt's bothered to do owt about it. In which case, it's a fucking disgrace.

Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #21 on: March 21, 2020, 03:37:50 PM »
I know what a pangolin is now. Potentially useful pub quiz knowledge for the future if pubs still exist.

Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth

  • A doughnut hole inside a doughnut's hole
Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #22 on: March 21, 2020, 03:48:37 PM »
I assume any old establishment bastards that cark it won't have millions wasted on state funerals and whatnot.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #23 on: March 21, 2020, 05:11:34 PM »
Might make property affordable for anyone under 45

sirhenry

  • That worked out well...
Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #24 on: March 22, 2020, 07:04:17 AM »
Swarfega shares jump as people start using it as a lubricant.

The annual 3-week non-stop rolling end-of-year house party that our neighborhood turns into cancelled for a year. To be woken at 5am by my fucked-up body clock rather than some ironic 70s bass from 10 doors down the road.

icehaven

  • Please don't hi five people in Tamworth
Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #25 on: March 23, 2020, 03:04:29 PM »
The family in the flat below ours appear to have gone elsewhere for the duration as they haven't been there since Friday morning, which means we haven't been treated to the sounds of the husband getting up at 4am, slamming doors, running noisy taps (yes I know that sounds a bit unreasonable but they are really noisy for some reason) and generally stomping about. He doesn't even leave until about half 6 so fuck knows why it takes him 2 and a half hours to "get ready for work" (I know that's what he's doing as I had a polite-ish conversation with his wife about it a few weeks ago.) Hopefully they never come back and someone who keeps far more reasonable hours moves in.

icehaven

  • Please don't hi five people in Tamworth
Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #26 on: March 23, 2020, 03:25:52 PM »
Weinstein's got it.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-52000173

Obviously being so ill and frail and all it will inevitably kill him, unless, and I know this can't possibly be true, he was exaggerating that?

Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #27 on: March 23, 2020, 04:26:31 PM »
Having a good reason not to go out to social things
Not feeling like I'm missing out on things, since I know everyone is stuck in their homes
Presumably twats in gangs won't be going around stabbing/shooting bystanders/each other if they're on lockdown
The value of the pound has plummeted and I get paid in US dollars so I can save more

Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #28 on: March 23, 2020, 04:43:23 PM »
The supermarket shitshow is forcing people to look further afield for their stuff. Local shops and specialist butchers/fishmongers/bakers should benefit and hopefully retain some customers who they've bailed out during the panic buying. People also seem to be clocking on to the fact that Polish, Romanian, Turkisk etc shops do sell real, edible, in some cases fucking delicious food and aren't mysterious fronts that you aren't allowed in.

QDRPHNC

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Re: Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic
« Reply #29 on: March 23, 2020, 04:56:18 PM »
Weinstein's got it.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-52000173

Obviously being so ill and frail and all it will inevitably kill him, unless, and I know this can't possibly be true, he was exaggerating that?

I figured this was just the beginning of the cover story that sees him leaving Riker's Island to some cushy private room in a prison hospital forever.

As for the thread: I get to pay attention to some hobbies which are normally put on hold due to not having time or being tired.
« Last Edit: March 23, 2020, 05:10:17 PM by QDRPHNC »

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