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March 29, 2024, 11:33:11 AM

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Upsides of the Coronavirus Global Pandemic

Started by Sheffield Wednesday, March 20, 2020, 05:40:45 PM

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Head Gardener



ladies now have new hair styles to consider

Puce Moment

People getting used to isolating and spending time with loved ones.

I was on strike for a couple of weeks prior to the lockdown and I barely left the house. I honestly haven't noticed the difference.

ollyboro

The pair of oafs installing our new kitchen won't be seen for a while. We're missing a cabinet, missing an oven splashback, need new flooring, need walls plastering,  a ceiling plastering and oh...and the fridge fucking freezer doesn't fit in the fucking gap they've left, but at least I won't be breathing in dust and making the cunts tea.

It's been really odd watching their working practices. They're both 60ish and appear to hate one another. They never speak. One of them is a director, and all he does is watch the other cunt do all the work, occasionally nipping out to the van for a tool for him. The guy who does all the work has spoken about 30 words to me, one of which was to refer to the other bloke as "Teapot". They did our bathroom last month. Every morning the director gadgie would walk in and spend ten minutes having a shite. No wonder the grafter hates him. Imagine working 6 hours a day in an enclosed space, just after your gaffer's had a massive shit.

Ferris

Quote from: ollyboro on March 23, 2020, 08:19:37 PM
The pair of oafs installing our new kitchen won't be seen for a while. We're missing a cabinet, missing an oven splashback, need new flooring, need walls plastering,  a ceiling plastering and oh...and the fridge fucking freezer doesn't fit in the fucking gap they've left, but at least I won't be breathing in dust and making the cunts tea.

It's been really odd watching their working practices. They're both 60ish and appear to hate one another. They never speak. One of them is a director, and all he does is watch the other cunt do all the work, occasionally nipping out to the van for a tool for him. The guy who does all the work has spoken about 30 words to me, one of which was to refer to the other bloke as "Teapot". They did our bathroom last month. Every morning the director gadgie would walk in and spend ten minutes having a shite. No wonder the grafter hates him. Imagine working 6 hours a day in an enclosed space, just after your gaffer's had a massive shit.

Mate.

ollyboro

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on March 23, 2020, 08:26:03 PM
Mate.

I know. Do you think Bono will release a charity song for me? Madonna can keep out the fucking bath though. It's leaking.

Ferris

Just thought - I've never known the contents of the fridge/freezer/tins cupboard so thoroughly. That has to be an upside. The omniscience of how many tins of tomatoes you have left (3).


ollyboro

Due to a lager shortage I've had to by some Peroni. Never minded the stuff, but can't say I worship at the Altar of Azzurro. However......IT'S 5.1 OF YOUR ACTUAL PERCENT!!. Back of the bastard net. Whilst shysters like Budweiser are slyly dropping their strength, Peroni are standing tall in the face of this utter fannydom. Italy should be proud. Although they possibly have bigger things on their collective mind at the moment.

weekender

Peroni's alright, it's like the Paolo Maldini of lagers.

Cloud

Much less money spent at the pub (tho this balances out due to....)

Got a couple of weeks starting 1st April of just sitting at home doing nothing and getting paid 80% for it  (I'd take that as a permanent offer if it was open)

No football

Fewer soaps

A breather from the social obligation to attend various conventions throughout the year   (they're good but they're exhausting and expensive and a bit samey after a while)

People have finally learned to wash their hands (in the brief time the pubs were open while this was brewing, blokes were washing their hands after a piss for the first time ever)

Climate gets a breather

bgmnts

Does the climate get much of a breather though?


Cloud

Quote from: bgmnts on March 24, 2020, 09:32:09 PM
Does the climate get much of a breather though?

Seems that way for a couple of weeks if you saw the pollution map over China etc

Head Gardener


NoSleep


olliebean

Quote from: NoSleep on April 04, 2020, 11:20:33 AM
No junk mail on my doorstep anymore.

You haven't received Boris Johnson's letter either, then?

NoSleep