Author Topic: Is anyone else struggling with not being able to see their parents?  (Read 2875 times)

Ian Drunken Smurf

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Re: Is anyone else struggling with not being able to see their parents?
« Reply #30 on: February 04, 2021, 11:10:38 PM »
Convinced my mum to get Netflix - she is loving it. Although she says she'd rather be able to see her grandchildren (oh and children!)

monkfromhavana

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Re: Is anyone else struggling with not being able to see their parents?
« Reply #31 on: February 05, 2021, 08:00:45 AM »
My partner is really struggling with this. Her family is in Poland and we haven't seen them since August 2019, and they're the type of family who speak every day on the phone even without a pandemic happening. Add in elderly grandparents, her dad is "at risk" and her mum is a nurse....it's been tough for her. She's already resigned herself to not being able to see them this year as well.

non capisco

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Re: Is anyone else struggling with not being able to see their parents?
« Reply #32 on: February 05, 2021, 01:38:55 PM »
Found out today the parents mentioned in my OP are both getting the ol' jaberoo tomorrow. It's a beautiful weight off your mind, hearing your parents are going to be Bill Gates' unflinching hypnotised slaves rather than possibly DEAD SOON, isn't it? Seeing them both in the near future has suddenly become much more tangible.

My mum though clearly has dementia, although she's never had any kind of diagnosis, and it's so hard not to be able to see her.

Sorry to hear that about your mum Gurke. Dementia truly is a cruel and heartbreaking thing to witness in the ones you love. Are you able to persuade her to get looked at and diagnosed? The medication my mum's on has certainly slowed down the progression of her alzheimers, without that I think we definitely would be at the "not being able to recognise her kids" stage by now. Rather than her still being the same dotty old article she was this time last year.

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: Is anyone else struggling with not being able to see their parents?
« Reply #33 on: February 05, 2021, 03:31:37 PM »
Really struggling not being able to see parents, hope they get vaccinated soon. Used to see one or the other most weekends before the pandemic so it's been really weird.
« Last Edit: February 05, 2021, 03:46:22 PM by Fambo Number Mive »

Re: Is anyone else struggling with not being able to see their parents?
« Reply #34 on: February 05, 2021, 04:18:16 PM »
So it's a partial, albeit very guilty, relief that I haven't been able to go in and sit with her for these last six months or more. Am I a shit human being for feeling that way? That I'm glad I don't have to go and see my mum?

Absolutely not, pal. That is a horrible, sad situation to be in, and there's no right way to feel about it.

Blinder Data

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Re: Is anyone else struggling with not being able to see their parents?
« Reply #35 on: February 07, 2021, 07:00:02 AM »
My heart goes out to people like non capisco and anyone else whose parents' health has deteriorated since COVID-19 arrived.

I've seen my dad a few times during this whole thing but only my mum and in-laws once during the summer. The situation has exacerbated since the birth of our baby at the start of the year. I just really hope it's safe enough for restrictions to be lifted in March/April as it feels like they are missing out on a crucial time of her changing/developing, and I can tell over Zoom it's really hurting them.

It's tricky because there are loads of people who have been visiting their folks regularly and probably judge us negatively for not making an exception. I got that impression over Christmas - friends would ask us about parents coming up after London had been put in Tier 4. Do they watch the news? Or did they just think we would screw the guidelines and do what we want, like they seem to be doing?

SpiderChrist

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Re: Is anyone else struggling with not being able to see their parents?
« Reply #36 on: February 08, 2021, 11:48:06 AM »
Speak to Mum every day on FaceTime - can't really do that with the old man as he's two years gone. She's in good health for 77, but her sister has just had a biopsy for multiple breast lumps, which is a worry. They got to see each other yesterday for a cuppa, first time in about 6 months, and I wouldn't begrudge it to either of them - they both live alone, are very sensible with regard to social distancing/masks and all that and, let's face it, I couldn't handle the idea of my auntie dying and my Mum not being able to see her own sister.

MojoJojo

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Re: Is anyone else struggling with not being able to see their parents?
« Reply #37 on: February 08, 2021, 03:58:33 PM »
Has anyone mentioned Batman yet?

Re: Is anyone else struggling with not being able to see their parents?
« Reply #38 on: February 08, 2021, 04:05:22 PM »
my mum comes over every Tuesday for some unpaid childcare! In fact she's coming down to my city tonight to see her own parents, as her mum is pretty infirm and her dad is literally dying of cancer and is stuck in some awful neck brace so that he doesn't accidentally cripple himself thanks to the tumours on his spine. And then she'll be at my house tomorrow. This is all within COVID regulations, afaik - at least the part where she comes here is. If she's not allowed to see her dad cos of COVID regulations despite the fact that he is dying, I don't blame her for breaking them, and I would break them too.

I struggle with not seeing my dad, cos he is dead.

Bentley Sheds is a good person. I am slightly relieved that I am a 'good grandson' for merely WhatsApping my dying grandad. Going to visit him would be tough. You can be jovial and light-hearted on WhatsApp but it's hard to maintain the same relaxed and conversational mood when you're in the same room as someone who is dying. Although when he's gone, I might have regrets.

Actually on a related note, this whole situation is opening up a concerning issue between me and my gf. My grandfather has already surpassed the stage where I would want to die, and if I would also want to go if I was going to get dementia. When you get to the part of stage 4 cancer where the doctors deliberately get you addicted to opiates because your life would be unbearable pain otherwise - I don't want that for me. I want to do myself in before that happens. Gf isn't willing to help me and doesn't want to talk about it.

Inspector Norse

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Re: Is anyone else struggling with not being able to see their parents?
« Reply #39 on: February 10, 2021, 09:29:29 PM »
Spoke to my parents on Zoom the other day and realised that the weekend after next will mark a year since we last saw each other in real life. It's been even longer since I saw my brother or sister, or visited my home country. Sister lives in Barcelona so they've also had problems getting back to visit.
It's been very tough and pretty depressing living abroad during this, even in a country which has, for better and for worse, avoided going into lockdown. Particularly affecting is the fact that this will really affect my kids' - 7 and 4 - relationship with their grandparents: yes, they dutifully say hello on Zoom and Facetime but that's no substitute for time actually spent together; kids can't spend more than a few minutes sat talking in digital meetings.
And my brother will become a dad in a couple of weeks: who knows when I'll be able to meet my first niece/nephew (why don't we have a handy non-specific term in English? In Swedish we can say "syskonbarn"), my kids their first younger cousin?

My parents have stayed safe, followed the rules (guess it's easier when they have a big house and garden and no kids or jobs to deal with, though obviously travel, social life and basic freedom to just get out and about a bit are affected), and in their mid-60s so not in a risk group, but have now got their vaccinations booked for the coming weekend. Brother already had his first dose due to work. That's no guarantee that we'll be able to see each other any time soon, of course, but it's a start.

Glebe

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Re: Is anyone else struggling with not being able to see their parents?
« Reply #40 on: February 10, 2021, 09:39:09 PM »
Hugs all around folks.

Inspector Norse

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Re: Is anyone else struggling with not being able to see their parents?
« Reply #41 on: February 10, 2021, 09:41:02 PM »

shiftwork2

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Re: Is anyone else struggling with not being able to see their parents?
« Reply #42 on: February 11, 2021, 03:14:47 PM »
Hugs all around folks.

Yeah, seconded.  This never-ending shit show.

bgmnts

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Re: Is anyone else struggling with not being able to see their parents?
« Reply #43 on: February 11, 2021, 03:17:51 PM »
Other than my mum, I'm happy to keep contact with my family to a minimum. But its sad to know you're all missing them and that. It'll be over soon.

Re: Is anyone else struggling with not being able to see their parents?
« Reply #44 on: February 11, 2021, 03:32:05 PM »
Convinced my mum to get Netflix - she is loving it. Although she says she'd rather be able to see her grandchildren (oh and children!)

Are they on Amazon Prime?

Re: Is anyone else struggling with not being able to see their parents?
« Reply #45 on: February 11, 2021, 03:35:04 PM »
It's very frustrating that my folks have had the vaccine now but we still can't see them. Not an idiot, not going to break the rules and endanger anyone, it's just frustrating. Wonder what is to come?

Re: Is anyone else struggling with not being able to see their parents?
« Reply #46 on: February 11, 2021, 04:28:55 PM »
My mum lives in Kent and I live in Germany, so fuck knows when I'm going to be able to see her again. I had planned to go back to the UK for Christmas but of course that didn't happen, I rebooked my flights for Easter instead but even that seems optimistic now. I wouldn't say I'm struggling though, and technology definitely helps bridge that gap, but having lost my dad at 60 in 2019 it makes you realise that you might not have as much time left as you expect.

imitationleather

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Re: Is anyone else struggling with not being able to see their parents?
« Reply #47 on: February 11, 2021, 05:54:22 PM »
my mum comes over every Tuesday for some unpaid childcare!

And then your mum comes over here every Wednesday for some paid sex!!

Re: Is anyone else struggling with not being able to see their parents?
« Reply #48 on: February 11, 2021, 06:53:15 PM »
I feel bad for my younger brother being stuck in the house with them

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