OFAH but COVID19

[easytarget]

RODNEY: Sod this arhm goin dahn the nag's ... aww blahdy hewl

[Replies From View]

Albert Steptoe:  durin the war it wars loik this del, the same as it

[ollyboro]

Stick a nail in my casket
I'll fetch a hammer from the van

[Ferris]

If want a blocked chest son
And you don't ask questions
Then brother, I'm your man

[poo]

VENTOLIN 3000 2 QUID A POP

[ollyboro]

Del's in hospital.

Del: I think I know what's wrong with me
Rodders: What?

(Del looks at Rodney; Rodney looks back)

Del: No not that. That.
Rodders: Where would you get that?
Del: I went for a massage at that new place. I thought I'd get one of those Chinese birds ...who did I get? Some bloke called Ainsley (Del puts a camp voice on)
Rodders: As long as he didn't cough all over you
Del: Yeah, but he stunk of CORVONIA!!! Then there's Uncle Albert. The selfish old cunt won't self-isolate

[ollyboro]

Grandad: One more breath, Del Boy

[ollyboro]

(Rodney's been tasked with producing a short film)

Del: There's a virus loose in the city

[Ferris]

Poundshop Del: one of these days rodders we'll have legionnaires

[Gregory Torso]

If want a blocked chest son
And you don't ask questions
Then brother, I'm your man

cos where it all comes from is a mystery
the chinese engineered it but that's just a theory,
but here's the one that's driving me beserk
why are fools and horses still going into work?

[easytarget]

INT Trotter's flat, living room morning


RODNEY walks in from the BEDROOM looking HUNGOVER


DEL : You awight Rodney? you look like you've got that COVID-19

JOHN SULLIVAN: Sullivan, you've done it again!

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

*DEL BOY FALLS THROUGH THE HOME BAR*

[willpurry]

"Derbyshire Police?  Can I interest you in some drones?"

[easytarget]

INT  TROTTER'S FLAT NIGHT

GARY: GARY!? GARY?

RODNEY: Aww we cahn't jahst leave im aht on veh estayt Dewl, wiv awl the hooligans and the mahgahs and the COVID 19

DEL: Stone me Rodney don't be a plonker aw your life. COVID 19? On vis estate he'll be lucky to get a COVID 7

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Del Boy dies through the bar

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Cassandra's miscovidge

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

"This time next year Rodders, we will be dead!"

[Dewt]

You think this is bad now Cassandra, but researchers are saying that in a few months you could experience a recarriage

[Huxleys Babkins]

"I asked him for an Emperor Burger and he brings me back toilet rolls."

[idunnosomename]

"Social distancing sticks, Rodders! you attach them to your special belt, and ta-dah!"

You are a fucking parasite, Del. You should be fucking ashamed. You leech off human misery for your own pathetic gain.

*Del looks sad with four six-foot poles protruding from his waist*

[easytarget]

"Social distancing sticks, Rodders! you attach them to your special belt, and ta-dah!"

You are a fucking parasite, Del. You should be fucking ashamed. You leech off human misery for your own pathetic gain.

*Del looks sad with four six-foot poles protruding from his waist*

"I was only tryna help Rodney. It's like dear old mum said to me on er deaf bed she said 'Del Boy always profit off of Cofid nineteens'"

[ollyboro]

Trigger: You see Rodney, road sweepers have got a saying."Take care of your broom..."

Dave: And your broom will take care of you.

Trigger: No. Take care of your broom and wash your hands thoroughly.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

LIVIN COVIDA LOCA

[idunnosomename]

uncle albert gets page 3 column in the daily mail