My non-coronavirus isolation diary

[Shit Good Nose]

I'm in isolation for the next 6 weeks (as of last Thursday) and I've decided to start a diary of sorts on here mainly for myself, to give me a bit of variety in what I'm doing on a daily basis, to keep myself "entertained" and to try and help keep me sane.  I won't write every day - just as and when thoughts crop up - but I thought it might also be useful for others to know what proper isolation is like.  Feel free to join in with your own thoughts if you're also in isolation (or even if you're not but still properly observing the social distancing), ask any questions, take the piss (seriously, go for broke - laughs is the main thing I could do with right now), etc etc.

Also, just to get in right now at the very beginning, I KNOW and acknowledge that in the grand scheme of things what I'm going through is very minor.  There are people suffering much worse than me, in a much worse societal situation than me, with all sorts of other issues much worse than me.  As I said, this is mainly for my own sanity.

Firstly for those reading this that don't know, a brief bit of back story - I was rushed into hospital last week with breathing difficulties, which turned out to be pneumonia (definitely not covid - I had the test).  I opted to go home with a nebuliser and a ventolin to free up the bed and room I was in, and was instructed to isolate for 6 weeks (to protect myself and help with recovery, rather than protecting those around me).  The nebuliser remains unused, but I've been taking puffs from the ventolin a couple of times a day.  The pneumonia has left "significant" scarring on my lungs, the result of that probably meaning that I'm going to develop asthma at some point in the near future.


So here I am, day 5 into my isolation.  I'm in little Nose's room and she's gone in to sleep with Mrs Nose.  I've got to keep the window open all the time for ventilation (VERY important I was told) which is fine during the day, but fucking freezing at night.  I have a laptop (obviously), a big stack of DVDs and blu rays, books, my music player and my phone.  It's been okay up to now as I've been feeling fairly shit and haven't really wanted to do anything other than sleep, but today I've been feeling a bit more human, and the reality of the situation is properly dawning on me now.  I can't give Mrs Nose or little Nose a kiss and cuddle, I can't see my mum or my sister (not that we would anyway now), I can't go outside (annoying now we're having a run of decent weather), using the bathroom to do anything is a MASSIVE logistical nightmare, with little Nose now home for god knows how long Mrs Nose is having to act the teacher without any help or support from me.  Meanwhile we've had to postpone little Nose's 10th birthday party (due to happen this weekend), although fortunately she understands what's going on and that all of her friends are in exactly the same position

Also it's my 41st birthday tomorrow.  (28 I was, etc)


I'm conscious now that exercise is going to be difficult.  Little Nose is doing that PE with Jo Wicks and I said I'd join her when I was feeling up to it, although obviously I'd be doing it in her bedroom with a laptop screen and she'd be doing it in the lounge with the big TV.  I haven't got that much room to work with and I don't know if daily bouncing around is gonna do the floor any good.

I'm REALLY missing physical contact.  All I've got is my cock, which can only satisfy so much.  I miss little Nose's and Mrs Nose's cuddles, and also contact with my closest friends.  A phone or video call is all well and good, but it's just not the same as being there in person.  Nor is talking through a door.


On the plus side - I'm catching up on a massive backlog of films, I'm going to be saving chuff knows how much on petrol, and when I "go back" to work I'll getting an extra 90-odd minutes in bed every day due to not having to commute and not being able to go to the gym.  More generally the planet is also going to be able to breathe a relative sigh of relief.


I'd be lying if I said I wasn't concerned - like others I'm starting to think that this thing is significantly more serious than governments are letting on and is seriously affecting a lot more people than just "the vulnerable".  I now have to accept the fact that whereas I was once fit and healthy and in the low risk category, I'm now right up in the red band with elderly nearly-deads and cancer sufferers.  Which is quite a worrying place to be when you're still "young" and in otherwise "good" health.

I also worry for a couple of my oldest friends - two of them have been asthmatic since very young and one of them has a triple whammy of having suffered from two strokes. 


Most important of all, though, is how am I going to attend those sex parties that I allegedly don't attend!?!??!?!?!

[Dex Sawash]

Really need you to set up that cam so we can get the tokens flowing

[Danger Man]

We all know your lungs got full of spunk from giving thousands of blowjobs at those sex parties you go to but these are difficult times so we'll pretend it's pneumonia.

[BlodwynPig]

Day 2: Realise it was a mistake to go overboard with the wanking as my daughter doesn't have an en-suite in her bedroom

Day 3: Dammit, John Lewis doesn't have exactly the same dress I've 'stained'

[Shit Good Nose]

We all know your lungs got full of spunk from giving thousands of blowjobs at those sex parties you go to but these are difficult times so we'll pretend it's pneumonia.

It's true, I do love cum filled lungs, just like Marc Almond/Dave Gahan/George Michael/whichever one it was that allegedly loved cum filled lungs.

Day 2: Realise it was a mistake to go overboard with the wanking as my daughter doesn't have an en-suite in her bedroom

Day 3: Dammit, John Lewis doesn't have exactly the same dress I've 'stained'

Still, at least there's a fresh coat of paint on the walls.


Nearly a week in.  Following Monday's improvement, I quickly felt like shit again come the evening and spent most of Tuesday (my birthday) in bed, trying but failing to sleep.  Managed several on and off snoozes since and decided to get up earlier to shower, put on some fresh clothes, and change and wash the bed sheets (all of which took forever due to trying to observe distancing from Mrs Nose and little Nose and making sure everything was sanitised as much as possible before and after).

Really missing physical contact - I have to shout night to little Nose when she goes to bed and Mrs Nose just blows me a kiss from the end of the hall. 

I still haven't busted open the nebuliser, but I've been taking fairly regular puffs on the Ventolin - averaging three a day at the moment.  I've only got one, so I don't know how long it's going to last, and I've not got a repeat prescription.

On the plus side I've finished the steroids and antibiotics I was also given, which was also a pretty fucking horrible experience - everything was moving and I felt permanently sea sick.  And people pay good money to feel like that on purpose.  Fucking weirdos.

I've not managed anywhere near as many films as I was intending to, and I see I've now missed a few things in my list that have been removed from Netflix.  Ho-hum.

I also learnt earlier that one of my best mate's mum died Sunday night, having completely missed the message he left on Monday morning.  Nothing to do with the virus - it was cancer.  They gave her 18 months tops a few weeks ago and were fairly confident of a year, but her heart just gave out in her sleep.  Probs the best way to go given everything else, but the family are now facing a funeral with just the immediate members all spaced out with no hugging and no wake.  Brutal.  That's left me feeling a bit weird and empty.

I'm still not desperately seeking fresh air or activity, but that is going to come before long and I expect it to come big - I've basically been shut up in a room and laid out on a bed in one form or another for over a week.  Little Nose has been doing the Joe Wicks PE thing, which she says she's enjoying.  A couple of mates who are also doing it have told me it's a proper fucking workout and have gone from hating the straggly haired good looking cockney to having mucho respect for him doing this for as long as this shit goes on and the schools are closed.  One of them has said he's even sacking off his gym membership and will just do this every day instead.

I see we lost Kenny Rogers the other day.  I've mentioned on here before about how I would cycle past a Kenny Rogers doppelganger walking his dog on my way home from work every day.

I think I'm getting bed sores.  Nothing weeping or oozing (yet), but definite sensitive and painful areas where you would typically expect to develop bed sores.  I need to start forcing myself to move around and get out of bed more.

As I said, sleeping hasn't been the easiest, and I still have to have the window open all the time for full ventilation.  I see that we're due a cold snap, so that's going to be fun.  And the bill paying side of my brain is focusing on all the heat from the radiator pissing straight out that open window into the cold air.

Both Mrs Nose and little Nose are fully observing correct social distancing - no sneaky play dates or mum gatherings or shit like that, and ALL of the shops around here that are open are now properly marshalling the shoppers.  All that being the case, HOPEFULLY the chances of me picking it up are slim to none.  I just need to make it to the end of this isolation period (at which point I know I'll still be at risk, but the risk will be diminished).

I also missed a phone call from one of our GPs who was saying I need to book an appointment with the asthma nurse sooner rather than later, so I've got that to look forward to - not allowed to hug my own family, but can have a complete stranger poke around my throat and lungs for a bit (just like used to happen behind the bus station when I gave blowies for 50p, ho-ho).

All good fun.

[Danger Man]

Really missing physical contact - I have to shout night to little Nose when she goes to bed and Mrs Nose just blows me a kiss from the end of the hall. 

heheheheheehhehehehehe....hehehehehehehehehehehehe

[BlodwynPig]

_____ Birthday, SGN

(Obviously it wasn't happy) but you can fill in the blank space when you are well enough

[Shit Good Nose]

heheheheheehhehehehehe....hehehehehehehehehehehehe

Look no hands, etc.

_____ Birthday, SGN

(Obviously it wasn't happy) but you can fill in the blank space when you are well enough

Wanky birthday.  The results of which will easily fill that blank space.  Honestly it'll be like the Hoover dam giving out.  I'd stand well back if I were you.  WELL back...


I also think I'm starting to go a bit stir crazy - caught myself quoting John Witherspoon from whichever Friday sequel (so not even the original) it is when he's singing about hot sauce.  It went on for a good couple of minutes and I was completely alone in the house (Mrs Nose and little Nose went shopping for essentials in Lidl - came back with a 40ft ladder, giant inflatable octopus, large George Foreman grill, petrol tank for a Lambretta and a hedge trimmer with a 15ft extension, etc).  Our neighbour probably heard - he's using their third bedroom as his office and the wall adjoining that room to our house is VERY thin.

[Danger Man]

Day 4: The audio hallucinations have started. I could swear I heared my wife and neighbour having sex in his bedroom/office but I knew she had gone to Lidl to return the George Foreman grill.....

[Shit Good Nose]

I had a little cry late last night, but it was something stupid that set me off - got up for a piss at just gone 2am (though none of the clocks had been changed yet, so I guess it was actually 3am), and what made me cry was having to turn the bedroom light on to gather my towel, soap and pack of anti-bac wipes, then going into the bathroom and turning the bathroom light on, wiping the toilet and sink surfaces and taps, having my piss, washing and drying my hands and then wiping all the surfaces again.  I cried because a simple night time piss had turned into some epic Tolstoyan campaign.

The good news is I otherwise have slept pretty well the last couple of nights and I woke up this morning feeling a lot better and full of some beans.  Had a go at the first PE with Joe Wicks vid.  Only managed half.  Fuck me it really is a proper workout (although it's been several weeks since I had any proper exercise).  The shower after was similarly logistically complex as going for a piss, trying to remember to do everything properly.

Mrs Nose made me a bacon sarnie for breakfast after and commendably remembered that I had a bottle of Tiptree ketchup in the cupboard.  She left it by the door, with a cup of tea, like in a hotel.

The bedroom window is still wide open 24/7, so the temperature in the bedroom must be mid single figures given the drop last night and the strong breezes over the last couple of days.  I wore my dressing gown in bed last night I was so cold.

I've not long finished watching Pacific Rim Uprising.  Shit.

I've got a Tesco ready meal for tea later - jumbalaya.  Actually rather looking forward to it.

Little Nose said she missed me earlier, which was a bit depressing.  Although, oddly, it didn't make me tear up like going for a piss did.

I'm considering "going back" to work tomorrow if I feel as human as I do today.  I know I have a few things to do, but nowt major.  Just want something to focus my mind on.

Not many other thoughts today.  Fuckit diary post.

[BlodwynPig]

I'd gladly swap places, bacon sandwiches! LUXURY - Although I sneaked some sausages last night, its mainly buckwheat and thin gruel.

[Danger Man]

Rim

Managed to find something that ensures all my posts in this thread are going to be smutty.

[Shit Good Nose]

I'd gladly swap places, bacon sandwiches! LUXURY - Although I sneaked some sausages last night, its mainly buckwheat and thin gruel.

Bacon sandwich singular.  I can't see it continuing.  Suspect it was a late birthday treat given I was dead to the world on my actual birthday.  Mind you, she's ordering us a curry later.  Via Just Eat, so it might turn up some time next week.

Managed to find something that ensures all my posts in this thread are going to be smutty.

I'm glad you spotted my intentional yet subtle prod.

[bgmnts]

I'm writing a fictitious diary about the end times in the hope some poor historian finds it 200 years from now but covid ruined it.

[Shit Good Nose]

May as well continue writing it - you never know, it may end up being the go-to document that scholars refer to in the future.  You'll be up there with Plato and Socrates.

Throw in the odd wank to confuse them, though.

[Dex Sawash]

Piss out open window

[hamfist]

Just in case you need it, you can order Ventolins online from Superdrug. I got a couple just in case the covids get in my asthma-infested lungs, hoped they would keep me vaguely alive for a bit.

[Danger Man]

Shit Good Nose hasn't been on here for seven weeks now.

Hope he's ok.

[Uncle TechTip]

Reading post history i can only concur, lots of activity then it just stops. Hope you're ok. Check in and sign out again.

[Janie Jones]

Yes I've found myself worrying a bit about SGN since this thread got bumped. Hope all's well, fella.