Your skin's topography.

[Rats]

Jesus christ, you sound like something from the black lagoon

[burpmitosis]

ok well I might have been exaggerating slightly about the every inch of skin part, but I have lots of red dots all over my arms and legs.

[Cerys]

Folliculitis?

Is that a figure 8, or an infinity symbol?  Either way, for DIY branding it isn't too bad!

Ta Cerys. At the time it wasn't meant to be anything in particular (if you want to know how I did it, PM me- most of a decacde later I can't believe I went through with it) but it's healed nicely.

... okay, you've talked me into it.  Not that I'm ghoulish, or anything.

[Deadman97]

okay, you've talked me into it

Okay, well, I took a ring that I'd worn for ages, held it over the hob til it was red and pressed it in twice. It was pretty minging, all told.

[TraceyQ]

Oooh. AND I have a scar on my right shin from falling down a man-hole when I was 10 and a scar on my knee from falling off my bike when I was 8. It's a bit blue, I think that means I should have had stitches. I also scuffed all my nose when I did that one, but that didnt scar. Thankfully.

[Rats]

Oh, I don't know, it might have taken peoples attention away from your mouth.

[PeachSmints]

I have a chicken pox  scar right between my eyebrows which my friends refer to as my bindi. I got it when I was 5 years old and picking at it when I was supposed to be napping during Kindergarten.

I normally forget about it but the kids at work like to point it out. Just like how they've been known to yell "Hey, ya big Bubba!!" at portly people they see as we're walking to the playground. Love those 4-year-olds...

[Mister Six]

I have a weird lump on my leg, near the ankle, which I've tried to cut off a few times but it grows back bigger. Don't know what that is.

Is it a foot? Are you a salamander? Seriously though, you should go see a doctor about that.

I've got a couple of scars, but the only one I can think of right now is when I slipped on the step leading up to my grandparent's door and sliced a triangular chunk out of my elbow on landing.

[burpmitosis]

It's not a huuuuuge lump.
I don't like doctors.

[Deadman97]

I have a weird lump on my leg, near the ankle, which I've tried to cut off a few times but it grows back bigger. Don't know what that is.

Yeah, you might want to get that looked at. Or go the other route and see how big you can get it. Pics, please!

[Leila]

I have a light brown birthmark on my ass. It looks like I didn't wipe my bum.

I have a very faint scar on my nose from a bastard cat scratching me. No stretch marks, but I'm sure that will change when I pop some sprogs out.

My boyfriends back  is covered in scars from acne. Doesn't bother me at all.

[Lee]

I have a light brown birthmark on my ass. It looks like I didn't wipe my bum.

Snap. Hopefully you're all picturing that now.

I've got plenty of scars from acne all over my upper body, which is pretty rubbish, but its not been a bother up to now. But besides having a STUPID FUCKING MOUTH THAT I HATE WITH A PASSION, my body is otherwise perfect.

[Ciarán2]

Have you got any interesting scars?

Jon Bon Jovi: (seething) I hate to be a pain in the ass, but why do Smash Hits always ask me questions like this? You could ask me about life on the road or what our songs are about but..."Have I any fishing tips"?...Man, who gives a shit?!

Was just reminded of that. Aaanyway...

I had to have the nail removed from my big toe, left foot about five years ago and it's grown back really odd. I'm worried it's going to start growing inwards into my foot again. And when summer comes I can't be walking around in the Spanish heat with shorts, sandals and bleeding socks on so it'll be out there in the open air scaring the children again. Which reminds me of a Far Side cartoon...

You just keep staring, buddy, and I'll show you my bad eye!

[Rats]

I have a light brown birthmark on my ass. It looks like I didn't wipe my bum.

Err, yeah, so have I. I've got stretchmarks as well.

[hymen spaz]

Aren't those "show me your scar" conversations down the pub top! It's like being on the boat in Jaws.

I have numerous scars all from me being a bit of a

A) clumsy bastard

b)idiot and doing things for a dare.

I have punched windows through twice (twice resulting in operations)caught my knuckles in the sanding disc at school, twatted my head on the bottom of the swimmingpool (had it been more recenty i could have sued for a fuckload)
and other assorted stupidity marks.

[Fucknose]

Am I the only weirdo on here who finds certain scars kindof sexy????? I've got a little scar on my eyelid from when I was about 6 and my brother told me pool balls bounced - they dont. I also have a big wierd thing on the back of my kneck - it looks like a burn but it's not, and it grows. I've got one growing on my body as well - on my ribs, it looks like 3 fingermarks.  My dad's got a huge scar on his arm where he cut it nearly off years ago (big pane of glass-meets low beam accident) I've also got a scar under my hair where my mum ACCIDENTALLY jammed a garden fork in my head when I was 5. And one on my knee where my mum ACIDENTALLY jammed a glass bowl in it whenI was little as well. A big string of wierd fat hung out of it and the nurse cut it off with scissors, I thought it was amazing.

[Labian Quest]

I don't have many really, just:

A small one on my forehead where my brother threw a Dinky toy at me during an arguement.

A half inch long scar on the thumbprint of my Right thumb from where I grabbed hold of a lightbulb when I was a kid. I just wanted to know what it would feel like, but the lightbulb was on, so when my nervous system realised how hot it was my hand instinctively clenched itself, breaking the lightbulb in the process. The broken glass cut a huge flap of skin off.

I've also got one just above my left ankle from where I was taking a shortcut through a field at night and I bumped my ankle into a nail that was sticking out of a bed that someone had left there. The gash went below the level of the epridermis which I think  is what causes scarring; IIRC anything less than that will heal over, depending on what part of your body it's on.

[lardboy]

Am I the only weirdo on here who finds certain scars kindof sexy?...A big string of wierd fat hung out of it and the nurse cut it off with scissors, I thought it was amazing.

That last bit is one of the most unsexy things I've ever heard.

However, some scars can be very sexy - in the same way as strange coloured hair and piercings can highlight features of a person that would not normally be noteworthy, but with those changes...*pop*.  There's a girl I know who has a scar from an operation around the left side of her neck where it joins the collar bone, which is just fucking gorgeous.  She's an unremarkable person really, but her scar makes her so sexy - sigh.

On the original topic, I have a scar from a hernia repair, but that's in a pretty secluded spot that far too few people see and no others.  I'd love a decent scar on my cheek (like Action Man) or eybrow, but I'm not sure I want the pain involved with getting them.

[mrpants]

I have a few thousand scars caused by that there DIY branding from t'past, which I keep covered at all times because they are massive, ugly and very noticable. I'm not ashamed of them, but they cause problems and I couldn't be bothered explaining those things.  Unless I get drunk or feel, "I don't give a fuck today", they stay under my cardie.

I'm the same in that I have huge amounts of scars on my left arm, although theyr'e not branding ones.  I didn't used to care too much but nowadays I've been getting much more self concious about them especially as my job is one where I meet clients everyday (not in a rude way).

Does anyone have any ideas how to maybe get rid of these scars?  I've tried vitamin e cream but to no avail, and because they're about six years old those plasters that you can get apparently won't work.  Does anyone have any other ideas on how to get rid them?

[Labian Quest]

I think you can get laser treatment to remove some types of scars:

http://www.plasticsurgery.org/public_education/procedures/SkinResurfacing.cfm

[Cliche Guevara]

I have a light brown birthmark on my back left hip.

I have distinct mole right bang smack in the middle of the side of my left leg. It's not a big hairy one though. I actually quite like it.

I have a thin scar of about an inch on the knuckle of my left index finger. A nasty bicycle accident when I was younger was the cause. I was messing around with the chain when the thing fell over on top of me slicing me open.

Also, I have quite a messy, scarred-up knee, also caused by a nasty biking accident. This time I fell off onto stones whilst riding like a lunatic. The scar on my knee is pretty sensitive though and I don't really like the feeling of it being touched. I don't know why as the incident also happened when I was younger.

I don't think I should go near a bike ever again.

[Big Jack McBastard]

Oh yeah I forgot the scar across my right nip, it's about an inch long and is there as a result of cosmetic surgery no less.

[Cliche Guevara]

twatted my head on the bottom of the swimmingpool (had it been more recenty i could have sued for a fuckload)
and other assorted stupidity marks.

Hehe, oh yes. I've also twatted my head off the bottom of a swimming pool in Turkey due to unnecessary messing around on a slide (i.e. going down it head first when it was closed).

On the official medical report, which was written by a Turkish doctor of poor English, it stated that I "kicked" my head off the bottom of the pool. We all found this very amusing as my feet can't even reach my head, never mind kicking it.

[Banana Woofwoof]

I have a few thousand scars caused by that there DIY branding from t'past, which I keep covered at all times because they are massive, ugly and very noticable. I'm not ashamed of them, but they cause problems and I couldn't be bothered explaining those things.  Unless I get drunk or feel, "I don't give a fuck today", they stay under my cardie.

I'm the same in that I have huge amounts of scars on my left arm, although theyr'e not branding ones.  I didn't used to care too much but nowadays I've been getting much more self concious about them especially as my job is one where I meet clients everyday (not in a rude way).

Does anyone have any ideas how to maybe get rid of these scars?  I've tried vitamin e cream but to no avail, and because they're about six years old those plasters that you can get apparently won't work.  Does anyone have any other ideas on how to get rid them?

If they're quite bad, you can come with me and get surgery!  It's the only way I can get rid of mine.  I tried the plasters and all that too, didn't do a damn thing.  Mine aren't really branding, just, er, mentalism ones, silly things.  

Have a chat with your doctor, they can tell you the best way to go depending on the extent of your scars.

[mrpants]

If they're quite bad, you can come with me and get surgery!  It's the only way I can get rid of mine.  I tried the plasters and all that too, didn't do a damn thing.  Mine aren't really branding, just, er, mentalism ones, silly things.  

Have a chat with your doctor, they can tell you the best way to go depending on the extent of your scars.

So are you going to get yours removed with surgery?  I'd consider it but I've got a bad feeling it'll be mega expensive because of the amount.  Maybe I should prioritise and start with the big ones.  I keep holding out for them to disappear as I'm sure they've faded a bit - but that is over a period of about six years.

What about a kind of concealer for when I've got clients in?  Or is that a bit weird to wear on your arms?

[Fucknose]

If they're quite bad, you can come with me and get surgery!  It's the only way I can get rid of mine.  I tried the plasters and all that too, didn't do a damn thing.  Mine aren't really branding, just, er, mentalism ones, silly things.  

Have a chat with your doctor, they can tell you the best way to go depending on the extent of your scars.

So are you going to get yours removed with surgery?  I'd consider it but I've got a bad feeling it'll be mega expensive because of the amount.  Maybe I should prioritise and start with the big ones.  I keep holding out for them to disappear as I'm sure they've faded a bit - but that is over a period of about six years.

What about a kind of concealer for when I've got clients in?  Or is that a bit weird to wear on your arms?

There are creams/patches  you can get for scars but chances are yours are too old now. Try stuff for stretchmarks, you can get it in boots stores. Also, if you go to your gp you could ask for the camaflage/concealer stuff that they give to people with birthmarks. It'd be worth a try anyway.

[Captain Crunch]

But besides having a STUPID FUCKING MOUTH THAT I HATE WITH A PASSION

I have to ask - what's wrong with your mouth?  Sorry to pry but short of it being sewn up I can't think what could be so awful.

[Suttonpubcrawl]

I have to ask - what's wrong with your mouth?  Sorry to pry but short of it being sewn up I can't think what could be so awful.

You're the one who was just posting about Chelsea smiles!

[Captain Crunch]

!!!  I've only just realised that.  God, one weekend away and I turn into Uma fucking Thurman!

[Banana Woofwoof]

If they're quite bad, you can come with me and get surgery!  It's the only way I can get rid of mine.  I tried the plasters and all that too, didn't do a damn thing.  Mine aren't really branding, just, er, mentalism ones, silly things.  

Have a chat with your doctor, they can tell you the best way to go depending on the extent of your scars.

So are you going to get yours removed with surgery?  I'd consider it but I've got a bad feeling it'll be mega expensive because of the amount.  Maybe I should prioritise and start with the big ones.  I keep holding out for them to disappear as I'm sure they've faded a bit - but that is over a period of about six years.

What about a kind of concealer for when I've got clients in?  Or is that a bit weird to wear on your arms?

I've been considering surgery, but the last estimate I got was £3000.  I don't really fancy it as I'd have to get grafting done on my arms, which would make them even more swollen.  I might get the scars on my face removed though.

Camoflage make up is quite good and its available.  Here's a page talking about scar treatments:

http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/en.asp?TopicID=844&AreaID=5627&LinkID=4702