Your skin's topography.

[Still Not George]

I have a hole in my face.

A hole. In my face. My fucking face.

It's been there since last summer, and every time I mention it to Cerys she just says, "it'll fade in time." How much cunting time? Decades?

[Rats]

If anyone wants to do a mouth joke, they'll have to get past me first.

[chutney blowhard]

Frinky re: freckles on people with dark hair, my sister definitely has them and I *think* my mum does too, I'm surprised you haven't noticed that given your special relationship with them.

As for me, I have moles aplenty, although the big hairy one on my face is the most annoying. Does anyone know where to draw the line between beauty spot and all out mole? So far I haven't had "moley moley moley" comments ever in public so I'm assuming I'm on the safer side of mole mockery.

Also, I have a weird skin condition that causes me to have one or two very small patches of skin on my chest and back that are very very white and burn almost instantly in sunlight. Luckily, none of these are in Michael Jackson's special place *yet* although I do have a scar on my groin from which no pubic hair grows. It's only noticeable if I'm well groomed though.

Lastly, I have a big smear of a birth mark on the back of my neck that is hardly noticeable but looks like I haven't washed in ages when visible.

[mook]

Ha. Good job I didn't mention my episiotomy scar then.

Damn my curiosity, and double damn google image search.

[TraceyQ]

I will be laughing at you for the rest of my life.

[Cerys]

I have a hole in my face.

A hole. In my face. My fucking face.

It's been there since last summer, and every time I mention it to Cerys she just says, "it'll fade in time." How much cunting time? Decades?

Okay, so maybe it won't fade - but it's a lovely hole.  Well, a kind of lovely hole.  Look, it's got character, okay?  Now shut up and get back down and suck.

[Ambient Sheep]

Ha. Good job I didn't mention my episiotomy scar then.

Even *I* had to look that one up.  Luckily I didn't NEED to go for the Image Search.  :-)

[Rats]

Why can't you just say "chin rest" like everyone else?

[Ambient Sheep]

Why can't you just say "chin rest" like everyone else?

Because "episiotomy" is the name of the operation itself, not where it's done to, I think.

[Rats]

yes, right again, sorry I'm tired.

[gazzyk1ns]

That bit is called the perineum, I had to Google for the spelling but I thought they said it on some American Pie-type film fairly recently? It led to loads of people going around mentioning the word.

[Baxter]

Can I get in on this as I have several scars on the front of my chest from lung drains, pacthes on the back of my head where hair does not grow from when I had a shunt and I have third lung drain site under my right arm that has scarred in such a way that I can hang earings through it. I would post pictures but it's not as cool as it sounds.

[hymen spaz]

Ha. Good job I didn't mention my episiotomy scar then.

Damn my curiosity, and double damn google image search.

And they call that natural?

I feel sick.

[Gazeuse]

They used to do those with no anaesthetic...Yet another reason why there are no little Gazzes!!!

[Cerys]

google image search.

I looked.  I had to look.  Ouch.  Looks nastier than I always imagined.  Better than tearing, mind.

[mook]

google image search.

I looked.  I had to look.  Ouch.  Looks nastier than I always imagined.  Better than tearing, mind.

Fucking hell women, did you really have to say that!

This thread is turning bloody nasty, I'm turning off my PC right now before I get the urge to look up "lung drains".

[Rubella]

stuff about moles, hair, scars etc

Wow - you certainly sell yourself well don't you?

I think you should post a pic so we can decide whether your mole is indeed a "moley mole" or a beauty spot.

I say beauty spot, and it's hairy? Is this a new development?

[Ambient Sheep]

I looked.  I had to look.  Ouch.  Looks nastier than I always imagined.  Better than tearing, mind.

I thought the jury was a bit out on that?  In that although tearing produces a more ragged edge, it's generally a shorter rip, whereas with an episiotomy, because it's a neat cut on skin under tension, it tends to (winces) split open a lot further.

As http://birthingnaturally.net/birthplan/intervention/episiotomy.html says:

The cut made by an episiotomy is equivalent to a second degree tear, meaning that both skin and muscle are cut.

Episiotomies cause increased pain during recovery. The average length of healing time for an episiotomy is 3 months, compared to 1 month with a tear.

Episiotomies increase the incidence of deep tears into the anal sphincter.

Some women prefer to try their luck for a tear, knowing that the average tear is only a first degree (meaning only skin is cut) and heals in about a month.

although of course given the URL of that site they might have an agenda.  How about http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/pregnancy/childbirth/165.html :

Many experts believed that the "clean" incision of an episiotomy would heal more easily than a spontaneous tear. But a great many studies over the last 20 years have disproved this theory, and most practitioners no longer perform the procedure routinely.

Research has shown that women with spontaneous tears generally recover in the same or less time and often with less pain and fewer complications than those with episiotomies. In addition, women who get episiotomies are more likely to end up with serious tears that go close to or through the rectum (known as third- or fourth-degree lacerations) than those who deliver without being cut. Tears that go through the rectum result in more perineal pain after the birth, require a significantly longer recovery period, and are more likely to affect the strength of the pelvic floor muscles. And because a tear into the rectum disrupts the anal sphincter, these women also tend to have problems with anal incontinence. Finally, women who have episiotomies tend to have increased blood loss at the time of delivery, greater pain during recovery, weaker pelvic floor muscles at three months after delivery, and more discomfort when they start having sex again.

Or this one (CAUTION contains real live picture of it being done) http://www.wtpcc.org/bi  :

Think of the episiotomy this way: if you hold a piece of cloth at two corners and attempt to tear it by pulling at the two ends, it will rarely rip. However, if a small cut is made in the center, then pulling at the ends easily rips the cloth. Doing an episiotomy is analogous, and sometimes results in tears that extend into the rectum. Physicians argue that this "clean" tear is more easily repaired than the ragged one that occurs when a woman tears without the cut. My experience has been that the small tears that sometimes occur without episiotomy are easy to stitch and less bothersome to the woman. Episiotomies, once repaired, are often debilitating and are the source of much pain in the postpartum period. One obstetrician interviewed stated flatly, "I have never had a third or fourth degree extension [tear] through the sphincter or rectum unless I did an episiotomy."

His observation is confirmed in a comparative study of home and hospital births  in which nine times more episiotomies were performed in the hospital births, accompanied by nine times as many severe (third and fourth degree) perineal tears. Another study of 241 first-time hospital-birthers showed that "the proportion of deep perineal lacerations was lowest (0.9%) in women without episiotomy who were not confined to the lithotomy position; it was greatest (27.9%) in women delivered in stirrups with an episiotomy....there was more than a twenty-fold increase in the rate of deep laceration when episiotomy was used," as well as a fourteen-fold increase in the rate of deep perineal lacerations when stirrups were used . In other words, the combination of episiotomy with the lithotomy position and stirrups works to offer women the highest possible chance that they will have deep perineal lacerations as they give birth.  Please consider Perineal Massage..and stand your ground on this!.

(emphasis mine)

Sympathies to all those wincing as they read this.  I remember how I felt when I first heard about it many years ago (even if I didn't know the posh name for it)...and I've only just learnt about the possible "extension into the rectum" bit...

[Frinky]

As for me, I have moles aplenty, although the big hairy one on my face is the most annoying. Does anyone know where to draw the line between beauty spot and all out mole? So far I haven't had "moley moley moley" comments ever in public so I'm assuming I'm on the safer side of mole mockery.

Do you mean this one? I can honestly say I've never noticed, if that's the case. But now I know it's there, etc, etc. It is a bigun, though, maybe you should have that checked out before it spreads over your face and eats your family.

And no, I don't remember you mum having freckles, but if she does, well... Still hot. I am suprised to see that darker complexioned people have The Frecks. In my years I've only noticed them on ginger and blonde people. Even dark-haired people with quite pale skin never seem to have them, or so I thought. The science behind it obviously isn't as I had assumed.

[Ambient Sheep]

I am suprised to see that darker complexioned people have The Frecks. In my years I've only noticed them on ginger and blonde people. Even dark-haired people with quite pale skin never seem to have them, or so I thought. The science behind it obviously isn't as I had assumed.

It's not common, but I used to know a lovely girl about - oh shit - 15 or more years ago, who had dark-brown hair but very pale skin with some gorgeous freckles.

Also, come to think of it, a brown guy I used to know had freckles as well.  Loads of them.  Black father, white mother; maybe that had something to do with it.

[Cerys]

Well, if you assume that freckles are caused by an increased amount of melanin in the freckled area, then presumably anyone with melanin can have them, regardless of race.  On the other hand, I may be talking utter bollocks.

Fucking hell women, did you really have to say that!

Sorry.  I keep forgetting that some 'whores are more sensitive than others.

[mook]

Heh..I really am squeamish with all medical things regarding the nether regions and the eyes though, wimpish I know but I honestly can't help it.

I was driving a mate of mine somewhere recently, and even though he knows how I am with these things insisted on telling me in minute detail how he was treated for cancer of the bladder*, I swear I almost crashed the car I was cringing so much.


*In through the germans mouth apparently. Fucksakes, Although he reckons he can spurt a good two yards now... Is that too much info?

[Cerys]

I suppose I'm quie lucky - I can even watch televised surgery while eating spaghetti bolognese.

[gazzyk1ns]

Still haven't mastered the art of fully depressing that "T" key all the time though, have you?

[Cerys]

DAMN THIS KEYBOARD!  Pah.

[Suttonpubcrawl]

Don't you mean DAMN HIS KEYBOARD?

[Frinky]

That's what you get for owning an eMachine.

[Eight Taiwanese Teenagers]

I've got loads of moles, but find them very unattractive on other people. I have an odd scar on my penix which led to one young lady asking if I had had surgery.

[Fucknose]

Ha. Good job I didn't mention my episiotomy scar then.

Damn my curiosity, and double damn google image search.

And they call that natural?

I feel sick.

OH........MY.................GOD.

OHMYGOD.

Thankyou Tracey, for putting me off EVER having children. RIght now I am trying So so hard not to be sick.  Jesus christ, there's NOTHING natural about that. ..................

[Ambient Sheep]

Thankyou Tracey, for putting me off EVER having children. RIght now I am trying So so hard not to be sick.  Jesus christ, there's NOTHING natural about that. ..................

No, indeed there isn't, which is why the Natural Childbirth type pages I linked to above strongly advise against it.  That's if you can manage to read them...sorry to have made you feel so ill.

You could always pay £3000 and have a designer Caesarian.