What are you doing with your free time? (hobby suggestions welcome).

[bgmnts]

Just stop drinking alcohol you divs.

[Buelligan]

I drink tea, water and fruit juice, should I worry?

[Ferris]

Just stop drinking alcohol you divs.

Nah

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

I'm failing to write fanfiction.

[Jockice]

Well, I've agreed to co-author a book. And (this is very weird even by my standards) one of the women in the other flats (who I've known since she moved in, but really just to say hello to) started sending me joey videos on messenger yesterday (we're not even Facebook friends) and we had a little chat on it about being stuck in our respective flats.

Then this evening she sent me what seemed to be some sort of meditation video, which I clicked on. Well over an hour ago. It was quite relaxing at first but it's still going on and it's become an endurance task which I'm determined to get to the end of. And the woman giving it looks and sounds almost exactly the same as my neighbour. I'm still not 100 percent sure it's not her but with her hair combed differently.

The bloke who shares a floor with her absolutely hates her and says she's a witch. I thought he was joking but I'm now starting to think she actually is.

And as luck would have it, it's just finished now. She sent me it at 8.53pm. Blimey!

[PeasOnSticks]

Reckon you're in there.

[bgmnts]

Remember the breathing techniques from tape one.

[Jockice]

Reckon you're in there.

Actually, she does have the same first name as the woman I lost my virginity to. And take it from me, there aren't many Griseldas in Sheffield.

[Jockice]

Well, I've agreed to co-author a book. And (this is very weird even by my standards) one of the women in the other flats (who I've known since she moved in, but really just to say hello to) started sending me joey videos on messenger yesterday.

That was meant to say 'jokey.' She's yet to send me any videos of baby kangaroos or disabled blokes on Blue Peter.

[gib]

That was meant to say 'jokey.' She's yet to send me any videos of baby kangaroos or disabled blokes on Blue Peter.

Maybe you'd make fewer typos if you had a bit more B12 mate.

[Barry Admin]

I was standing in the back yard, trying to get some sun with Jelly, and the mad cunt from next door arrived.  She has new people in her building, and is torturing one of them.  She's constantly drunk and causing a scene.  I don't talk to her anymore because of all her bullshit.  For instance, you know the guy who lived below me - and got put out and then ended up going to Londonderry and stabbing someone to death?  Well a good example of her triangulation involved her going to the guy when he was packing his bags, and letting him know - very loudly - that I was instrumental in getting him kicked out.  Which he already guessed, as I was the only one who would stand up to him, but she had to go and tell him the full extent of what happened.  When the peelers were round one time, she had a breakdown and started crying to them about how it was all nothing to do with her blah blah blah. Basically always trying to get involved and stir shit.  She's done other mad things which mean I avoid her now, eg she once came into the flats and had a meltdown because she couldnt get her new phone working.  I eventually took pity and went to help her, and get her away from the new neighoubrs she was hassling, then her boyfriend turns up at the flat, and it's all very awkward.  This is the woman who constantly goes on about how she's banging all the local paramiltaries, and she uses that to try and threaten you. 

So she starts on this poor bloke today about a load of nonsense, then goes into one of her meltdowns which involved saying things like "I was raped in my bed!"[nb]Also, when that wee fella did still live downstairs and was bringing all the hoods round to party all the time, one night she arrived there and tried to get them all back to her flat.  The invitation she continually used was something along the lines of "Come on, I won't rape you, for flips sake!"[/nb] in a very, very loud voice.  Then she repeatedly tries to draw me in by making comments about the washing on our side of the yard, and the bins, and trying to play me and the new guy off one another by sending him over to inspect our part of the yard etc etc.  Just went on and on to make a whole scene, starts shouting and crying at me etc, so I told her to fuck up and went inside again.

[Jockice]

Maybe you'd make fewer typos if you had a bit more B12 mate.

It's all being used to clear up coronavirus at the moment.

[gib]

Well a good example of her triangulation involved her going to the guy when he was packing his bags, and letting him know - very loudly - that I was instrumental in getting him kicked out.

How did she know?

[Barry Admin]

Not entirely sure to be honest. Either the neighbour the other side of the guy - who was similarly tortured during the whole saga and who let me know about the threats made on Facebook regarding "any tout being a target" - let it slip, or it was an educated guess, calculated to cause drama. He replied loudly and repeatedly that he knew it was me, and he'd sort it out, and there was graffiti put up about me on the bus shelter a couple of weeks later, but thankfully nothing came of it all, and he's still locked up waiting trial with the other two guys.

[idunnosomename]

You're doing drinking wrong.

indeed. you should follow that drink with many drinks, then wake up in a puddle of your own sick, ignorant of all recent events, and thoroughly refreshed and renewed.

[Buelligan]

Not entirely sure to be honest. Either the neighbour the other side of the guy - who was similarly tortured during the whole saga and who let me know about the threats made on Facebook regarding "any tout being a target" - let it slip, or it was an educated guess, calculated to cause drama. He replied loudly and repeatedly that he knew it was me, and he'd sort it out, and there was graffiti put up about me on the bus shelter a couple of weeks later, but thankfully nothing came of it all, and he's still locked up waiting trial with the other two guys.

Bloody hell.  Sounds like a person best avoided.  I don't know how you cope.  Huge sympathies.

[Barry Admin]

Thanks, but it's not too bad these days tbh, and much better than the last place I lived. I seem to have finally chased off the guys who were coming in and rolling joints in our halls and using the outside taps every day to smoke fuckets, which is a relief, as it was driving my OCD mad.

[sirhenry]

Good to see you're avoiding your neighbours as much as possible, Neil. Stay well.

Buelligan's mention of pangolins above made me think of this:


I invented a quick and easy way to do fake marquetry using plywood and a laser cutter and have been making all sorts of things with it. The picture above is of a rainbow pangolin design I made for a friend - a wonderfully mixed message these days[nb]Pangolins appear to be the vector for transmission of covid19 to humans, while the rainbow seems to be being used to signify hope that folks will survive it.[/nb]. The early ones were coloured with wood dyes to look exactly like traditional marquetry but that was boring so they tend to get coloured in with felt tips these days.
They are wonderful time-wasters as they take quite a while to draw and ages of cathartic (mindless, not mindful) colouring in afterwards. The only problem at the moment is that the Hackspace with the laser cutter is shut for the duration so I can't make any more.
Luckily, when this all kicked off, I had just finished cutting all the parts for a 30-page escape room/puzzle book/box so I'm spending my days colouring, gluing, varnishing, constructing locking mechanisms, wiring and soldering. The rainbow pangolin is a rotating locking mechanism that requires a magnet (from earlier in the book) to turn it, which then opens the next page. Next week I need to learn how to program an Arduino to control the timer, several of the locks, most of the lights and a sound effect or two. Should be fun...

And when that's finished it's time to start designing a cube version with sliding panels, hidden levers and stuff, decorated in traditional marquetry style rather than this gaudy multicoloured stuff...
At least it keeps me off the streets.

[Buelligan]

That is a tremendous pangolin you've got there Sir H.  I love its relationship with the buildings.  Please show more photos when you've done more.  Show us the lot!

[bgmnts]

That's cool as fuck.

[Bazooka]

sirhenry what a sir you are,that's top bloody banana, A* plus some great SAT results.

[Gregory Torso]

That is incredible, SirHenry. Please post more.

[Replies From View]

Just cancel your direct debit with your bank and say fuck off adios, surely?

Then you won't be able to hear anything anymore  :(

[ZoyzaSorris]

There's some talented buggers in here isnt there!

[Blue Jam]

That is a lovely pangolin Sir H. I'd love a laser cutter even if I couldn't do anything that clever with it.

Here I've been brewing beer, now making bread for the first time since the lockdown began. Got 20 litres of honey stout in the airing cupboard and six baguettes in the oven. Got a recipe for ale bread and plan to combine the ale and the dough for the ultimate in yeasty goodness.

[pancreas]

I just deep-fried a piece of reduced cod I got from Waitrose. Now give me attention.

[ollyboro]

Channel 4 News has just shown how an old folks home in haggisland is coping with the lockdown. Two carers were pushing an old dear in a wheelchair each. Both the auld girls had what seemed like a shopping basket attached to a broom handle. In the middle there was a load of coloured balls. The aim appeared to be to trap as many balls under your basket as possible, before your carer dragged you back, then shoved you back into the fray. It looked fucking brilliant. I desperately want a game of Grannyball. Better than curling.

[sirhenry]

Thank you all so much for the praise. Folks round here are so used to what I do that it was totally unexpected. But if you'd like to see more, a bit of background is needed - I'm planning on moving to Sheffield once this hoohah is over and this project is a sort of 'thank you' to the folks of Leeds Hackspace who have taught me so much since I joined 5 years ago. From furniture-making to soldering, designing roof gardens with automatic watering systems to designing and building escape rooms, building a new hackspace to public speaking, it's been a hell of a few years. And this is a collection of pictures based on various things made in that time.

Rather than fill the page with images (not sure on the current position on that here), I'll just put in links to the pics instead.

Mostly. Here are the front and back pages, then I'll hide the rest:

Ironically the stars in the one on the right that aren't lit up already have LEDs behind them.

And here are the front and back of the box that the book will live in (the back is a riddle that gives the 3 digit code for the padlock you need to open to get to it). The designs are from a celtic art clip art collection I made half a lifetime ago that took months to draw and made no money at all. But suddenly, with access to a laser cutter it had a purpose. And the feeling you get when something you drew 30 years ago becomes real and tangible, using a technology that barely existed when you drew them, is amazing.

The first thing I did when I joined was make a model of the perpetual motion machine painting that the university here has (building it proved that the original maker never thought it could work but used it to scam money from people).

Building escape rooms and all the props was fun to start with but when the deadline changed from 3 months to 3 weeks it became a nightmare. I discovered some interesting locking mechanisms and got to use some of the islamic geometric clip art I created years ago (solution here)

The D&D table was a huge power drain, with usb ports for each player, a map projector under the centre and LED strips along each player's space to add animation to their fireballs, poison gasses and drowning.

The buildings across the tops of various pages are from a frieze we made of various (mostly science fiction) buildings as an exercise to learn how to program LEDs (still not quite finished that one...).

Blue Jam, you do have access to a laser cutter, the biggest I've used (at over 1m square) at Edinburgh Hacklab (I think that's where you're based). I used it to cut a series of designs on wood panelling that look gorgeous. I'm hoping to use them to convince the visitor centre on Lindisfarne to pay me to decorate the place with panels using designs from the Book of Lindisfarne. Another dream job that will turn into a nightmare, probably.
But then, as this Cerebus cover puts it :

eta: I hope that filled up a bit of your empty time enjoyably; it did mine. Thanks again.

[NoSleep]

Nice work sirh.

[Buelligan]

Woooooowwwwwwwwww.  That is incredibly beautiful SirH.  I just loved it.  The buildings on the Turkish page reminded me of Hundertwasser.  I loved the segue between ancient and modern, East and West, nature and technology.  A beautiful harmonious whole.  Simply beautiful.  Hope Lindisfarne grab you with both hands - why on earth wouldn't they - it's a perfect fit.  Thank you so much for sharing that.  And the demon, of course.  I may do a needlepoint to celebrate that if I have enough silk about the place.