SIR PRINCE CHARLES DEAD SOON [merged]

[Wonderful Butternut]

I wonder will stuff a few freshly brewed Costas up his arse to cure it?

[Non Stop Dancer]

Why didn't they allow Princess Anne to move higher up as she is the second child of the Queen? Seems odd to limit it to people born after a certain date.

#OurLovelyAnnieAnne

She's female, and therefore a worthless piece of dog tod.

[Attila]

It's A Royal Check-out

Come on Edward, get on it and with any luck you'll actually be king by the time this blows over.

Scrolling through this thread as a break from uni email madness...this post made I laugh.

Go #TeamEdward

[PeasOnSticks]

This is his moment.

#KingEddie

[Mister Six]

Genuinely concerned about how this would affect the next series of The Windsors. I suppose they could keep Harry Enfield on as a ghost or something.

[GMTV]

Camilla has mysteriously tested negative.  I have written one of me poems:

Chill wind blows through the purple bedroom
Frost on the bed post
Yearning dies, gasping.

Hopefully she took government advice on social distancing and utilised a different sanitary product to her usual method of having Prince Charles function as a tampon.

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

What will happen to Britain's psyche if the entire elderly tier of the RoyFam is wiped out? Hazmat state funerals?

At some point John Goodman becomes king.

[Norton Canes]

This is brilliant. Not only have Johnson and his cabal been outed as closet Socialists, now it transpires they're dyed-in-the-wool Republicans. Come the glorious day, brother Boris!

[Jasha]

Handy out of date reference chart

Little prince Damien's eyes glow red in the knowledge his plan is working

[Huxleys Babkins]

She's female, and therefore a worthless piece of dog tod.

Even her title sounds like a fob-off.

ANNE: Mother, now that Charles is Prince of Wales, where shall I be princess of?

COD: *Desperately scans around the room, looking for inspiration and swearing under her breath* Umm... Dunno... Royal?

[Dewt]

I want to see the chain of events that causes Britain to be ruled by a question mark

[Jollity]

I kind of hope he's alright as he's a year younger than my parents and he'll get better healthcare than they will if they get it.

Then as soon as its over he falls off a horse and splats his head open.

Same. Prince Charles is about a month younger than my dad, and if he - with all his privileges and connections - couldn't survive the disease, my dad would have no chance :(

Happily, my dad is a nerdy loner like me and doesn't have to go about shaking hands as part of his job (he's retired), so he's still not ill as far as I know. This doesn't stop me worrying, of course, but few things do.

[Blumf]

Even her title sounds like a fob-off.

ANNE: Mother, now that Charles is Prince of Wales, where shall I be princess of?

COD: *Desperately scans around the room, looking for inspiration and swearing under her breath* Umm... Dunno... Royal?

Was worse:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne,_Princess_Royal#Titles,_styles,_honours_and_arms

1973–1987: Her Royal Highness The Princess Anne, Mrs Mark Phillips

[Bleeding Kansas]

I want to see the chain of events that causes Britain to be ruled by a question mark

It's like a new starter at an office and who hasn't updated their Outlook Profile.   

[Dr Trouser]

[Gurke and Hare]

This is his moment.

#KingEddie

The Duchess of Stranraer is on tenterhooks.

[purlieu]

I love that, despite the Royal naming conventions giving us countless Georges and Williams, it's still entirely possible we could end up with a Queen Eugenie, Savannah, Isla, Zara, Margarita, Cosima, Senna, Marina or Zenouska; or a King Archie, Xan, Tāne, Rufus, Columbus or Cassius.

I'm gunning for Queen Beatrice or Eugenie, just to see how many Republicans would still have a sneaky wank over the monarch.

[Clatty McCutcheon]

The Palace would insist upon some of the characters on that list taking a more sedate and traditional name, I'm sure.

Chas is apparently considering becoming George VII if/when he eventually becomes the main man, because of the poor reputation of the previous Charleses.  He's clearly right, when you've spent your lifetime behaving impeccably and ensuring that you're loved by all, it would be a shame to throw that away via a vague name association with two men who lived half a fucking millennium ago.

[Pseudopath]

I'm gunning for Queen Beatrice or Eugenie, just to see how many Republicans would still have a sneaky wank over the monarch.

Sorry, mate. I've vowed only to wank over them as Princesses and to respectfully restrain myself once either of them ascend to the throne. Might start wanking again after the revolution though.

[alan nagsworth]

The fact that Camilla tested negative proves how stolid and loveless their relationship is. It proves that her and Chuck haven't bumped uglies in weeks, let alone held hands or even bothered to be in the same room as one another. They haven't kissed. Charles hasn't rimmed Camilla. The Duchess has not gargled the Prince's marbles either. They deffo haven't done a 69, with Camilla riding Charles' face as she chokes on his knob. She probably hasn't even wanked him off, let alone fisted him.

Just stating the facts as I deduce them. I'll keep you all posted with any further developments.

[alan nagsworth]

Come to think of it, it's glaringly obvious that Camilla hasn't rimmed Charles, either.

[Pseudopath]

The fact that Camilla tested negative proves how stolid and loveless their relationship is. It proves that her and Chuck haven't bumped uglies in weeks, let alone held hands or even bothered to be in the same room as one another. They haven't kissed. Charles hasn't rimmed Camilla. The Duchess has not gargled the Prince's marbles either. They deffo haven't done a 69, with Camilla riding Charles' face as she chokes on his knob. She probably hasn't even wanked him off, let alone fisted him.

Just stating the facts as I deduce them. I'll keep you all posted with any further developments.

Probably spends all of his time in the 62nd first floor bathroom wanking over Diana.

P.S. How did this turn into the new wanking thread?

[alan nagsworth]

Probably spends all of his time in the 62nd first floor bathroom wanking over Diana.

If that's true then we need to get Diana tested pronto.

[ollyboro]

If Lugsy Von Battenburg Kipling - or whatever Chucky's full fucking name is - has been shotting his cock fat up Camilla, and she hasn't got IT, then surely we should remain true to the medieval principles of monarchy and burn the bitch as a witch.

[Cerys]

What if he doesn't have it at all, and the claim that he has is just a PR stunt?

[alan nagsworth]

We should still dissolve his cock and balls in a sink full of acid just to be on the safe side

[Replies From View]

What will happen to Britain's psyche if the entire elderly tier of the RoyFam is wiped out? Hazmat state funerals?

Almost.  Bin bags.

[Kryton]

Is it heirborn?

[MiddleRabbit]

What if he doesn't have it at all, and the claim that he has is just a PR stunt?

In some ways, I suspect that this is a PR spin that's backfired.  'Look, he's just like the rest of us!' Which has had the opposite effect in terms of the reality of him getting tested when NHS staff aren't, and him flouting the rules by fucking off to Scotland.

The cunt.  Never mind bring back the executioner and his axe, one plastic bag's all that's needed for this set of cunts. Line them up on a row of chairs and put it on ITV4 on a Tuesday night.

[Cuntbeaks]

Why doesn't the Cunt of Death open her fucking purse and donate some of her coffers to the cause?

Is it because she's a torn faced, miserable old cunt?