Government coronavirus response thread

[BlodwynPig]

Another rung lower on the ladder of dismalness

[olliebean]

Number 10 is also ending the weekend press conferences due to low audience figures, and only holding them on weekdays. Mr Johnson will host one of them.

This is fucking ridiculous. It's a press briefing. The point of it is to communicate to the press (and other news media) what the current situation is, what they're doing about it, and to allow press scrutiny. Audience figures shouldn't enter into it.

[Quote]

Can't they have a dance off or some celebrity cameo's to get those viewing figures up a bit?

[lipsink]

I mean, why not just cancel elections due to low voter turnout?

[king_tubby]

WELL WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED THIS???

Business Secretary Alok Sharma self-isolating and has been tested for Coronavirus.

He began feeling unwell in the chamber today, spokesperson says.

https://twitter.com/nickeardleybbc/status/1268256786747883533

[Fambo Number Mive]

I presume the whole cabinet will need to self isolate. Maybe Cummings will drop all pretence of being the advisor and issue orders directly from Downing Street.

[Alberon]

Won't be Cummings. He'll almost be back in Durham by now.

[Danger Man]

Business Secretary Alok Sharma self-isolating and has been tested for Coronavirus.

Really gunning for the PMs job now.

[jobotic]

Really hope Johnson and Cummings actually get it this time.

[Inspector Norse]

WELL WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED THIS???

Business Secretary Alok Sharma self-isolating and has been tested for Coronavirus.

He began feeling unwell in the chamber today, spokesperson says.

https://twitter.com/nickeardleybbc/status/1268256786747883533

Feeling unwell in the chamber is certainly a common symptom of covid.

[sirhenry]

I presume the whole cabinet will need to self isolate.

Damned if they do and damned if they don't.

By the new Test, Trace and Tag rules they have to, plus any MP who has been within 2m of him in The Chamber, and after Cummings can they afford to flout the rules?

But that would leave the country without a working government for a fortnight. How would we cope? And how would they convince us that we need them afterwards?

I can see the headlines now: Rees-Mogg fucks up shuts down parliament, with the inevitable picture of him trying to fill the empty seats...

[Alberon]

A working government? What a novel idea.

[Ian Drunken Smurf]

WELL WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED THIS???

Business Secretary Alok Sharma self-isolating and has been tested for Coronavirus.

He began feeling unwell in the chamber today, spokesperson says.

https://twitter.com/nickeardleybbc/status/1268256786747883533

I do hope he didn't have to do any unnecessary queueing recently. Surely they should make MPs trial the app.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Damned if they do and damned if they don't.

By the new Test, Trace and Tag rules they have to, plus any MP who has been within 2m of him in The Chamber, and after Cummings can they afford to flout the rules?

But that would leave the country without a working government for a fortnight. How would we cope? And how would they convince us that we need them afterwards?

I can see the headlines now: Rees-Mogg fucks up shuts down parliament, with the inevitable picture of him trying to fill the empty seats...

The government will end up doing everything over Zoom for two weeks, and people will ask if the government can do that why can't MPs? Perhaps they'll try to cock things up even more than usual for the next two weeks and then blame having to do everything over video conferencing. Minister accidentally turns his camera on when he is tugging the pink sock, that kind of thing.

[Huxleys Babkins]

"Michael, you've turned your webcam on by mistake."

"Mistake?"

[WhoMe]

No idea why politicians would be so keen to return to parlia-oh

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/house-of-lords-daily-allowance-tax-free-pay-rise-inflation-a9329141.html

[Funcrusher]

Test and trace won't be fully operational until September.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/jun/04/nhs-track-and-trace-system-not-expected-to-be-operating-fully-until-september-coronavirus

The sheer ineptitude is just stunning. Other countries have long since had this in place. And of course serial fuck up merchants Serco are involved, a never ending reward for failure.

[BlodwynPig]

Test and trace won't be fully operational until September.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/jun/04/nhs-track-and-trace-system-not-expected-to-be-operating-fully-until-september-coronavirus

The sheer ineptitude is just stunning. Other countries have long since had this in place. And of course serial fuck up merchants Serco are involved, a never ending reward for failure.

Are Bohnson and Hancock resigning tomorrow?

[Danger Man]

The sheer ineptitude is just stunning. Other countries have long since had this in place. And of course serial fuck up merchants Serco are involved, a never ending reward for failure.

It might be five months too late but it will be WORLD BEATING

[jobotic]

Just in time for the third wave.

That fucking email. We are going to be shit at this, we always are. but watch the money roll in. Cunt should be in prison.

[Zetetic]

Think the Serco stuff is just England, but it's possible that Scotland and NI were sold on it by NHS England/Improvement.

[EOLAN]

Test and trace won't be fully operational until September.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/jun/04/nhs-track-and-trace-system-not-expected-to-be-operating-fully-until-september-coronavirus

The sheer ineptitude is just stunning. Other countries have long since had this in place. And of course serial fuck up merchants Serco are involved, a never ending reward for failure.

Most importantly. Is it still working in the Isle of Wright?

[Funcrusher]

According to our Pravda-style state broadcaster "The Guardian reported a senior NHS boss said the system would be imperfect at first but "world-class" by the autumn". The fact that we were told it would be ready by June 1 not mentioned, we have always been at war with Eurasia.

[Paul Calf]

They're killing time until the point at which they can pretend it's not happening.

Tests aren't being performed
Results aren't being reported
Deaths are being pushed out of hospitals
Coroners and doctors are being discouraged from reporting CV-19 as a cause of death

The result is that the COVID death rates will go down because it'll be impossible to determine how many deaths have been caused. Excess mortality is a fair measure[nb]The UK already has higher excess mortality than the whole of the EU.[/nb], but how reliable even that figure is going to remain is another question.

[Zetetic]

Coroners and doctors are being discouraged from reporting CV-19 as a cause of death

I'm open to the possibility of this, but - How and why? What's in it for any given doctor?

There definitely are situations where there are pressures not to write this or that on a certificate, because doing so might come back on a hospital, or a department or an individual. (Write "pulmonary embolism" on a certificate, and you look worse on measures of VTE-related deaths, for example.)

I can't see how this applies to COVID-19 though. The UK government might not like it, but it doesn't suggest you or anyone you work with fucked up.

[DrGreggles]

It might be five months too late but it will be WORLD BEATING

"I am the best at running!"

"You just had a race and finished last."

"Yes, but my running was better."

[Johnny Yesno]

"I am the best at running!"

"You just had a race and finished last."

"Yes, but my running was better."

'It's not my fault you didn't read the small print, you fool.'

[phantom_power]

It really is astounding that we are still recording 10% of the daily world deaths and somehow that means we should be loosening lockdown

[olliebean]

Sake.

[BlodwynPig]

Genocidal Newspaper's Gleeful Gaze

"bloodbath'

"war"

"chaos"

"FUNDAY"