Boris Johnson has the virus!!!

[Blue Jam]

So it is transmitted through shagging then?

[Sebastian Cobb]

And they're off!
https://twitter.com/JuliaHB1/status/1243499744938393601

[Alberon]

Time for national unity government and for Cummings to be buried alive (though to be fair it's always time for that).

[Wonderful Butternut]

Oh no. Wouldn't it be awful if he died?

[Cuntbeaks]

I don't believe this fucking spin, it's an orchestrated pantomime to drum up sympathy for the vile cunt and to deflect the incoming shitstorm of criticism regarding his handling, or lack of, of the virus in its early stages.



R Brave Bojo

[idunnosomename]

so much for the tolerant left !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*adds 5 minutes to timesheet*

is this all there is to my life.

[Thomas]

Angela Rayner:

So me and Boris Johnson having the virus is pure coincidence- honest

https://twitter.com/AngelaRayner/status/1243501147933065217

[phantom_power]

Angela Raynor has it too, which means at least the virus is apolitical

[Pingers]

He may be a horrible cunt, but even he doesn't deserve to die of this.

No, he deserves to die on a spike

[idunnosomename]

god i hate news

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Boris is in hospital, fighting for breath.  A civil servant briefs him.

'Boris, there are two alternatives: (a) increase NHS resources,, social care and policies to mitigate the free-market or (b) more draconian police powers-maybe full martial law-to protect the existing order.'

'Ah...Ah....Ahhh!'

'Very well: 'a' it is.'

[Chollis]

Give it Giggseh til end ot'season

[rue the polywhirl]

I think I might just emerge from my front door at 8pm tonight to celebrate the good work that this virus has just done with a minute long clap and I encourage everyone else to do the same...

Not really. This is awful news.

[idunnosomename]

Come on covid virus. Get boris done hahhahgag

[Thomas]

I hope everyone he's met in the last two weeks gets priority testing, especially those working and recovering in the hospitals he lumbered into. Get well soon dickhead

[Phoenix Lazarus]

I hope everyone he's met in the last two weeks gets priority testing

Along with priority psychiatric assessment for all his supporters.

[poo]

Tugging like christing cunting fuck.

[Blue Jam]

I hope everyone he's met in the last two weeks gets priority testing

Yeah, they might all have chlamydia now. Best to check.

[Non Stop Dancer]

Anyone reckon he got it on purpose for a laugh like those bug chasers who go out of their way to get aids?

[chveik]

And they're off!
https://twitter.com/JuliaHB1/status/1243499744938393601

Why did he get tested when our frontline NHS staff cannot???

He's part of the nuclear firing-chain. That's good enough for me.

it's a fucking death cult

[Beagle 2]

my brother's response is my favourite take:

"Snotty twat burn him. Working it's way through royal family and now parliament, it's all coming up roses at this end my roofing felt came"

[bgmnts]

It wont kill any of the cunts but fuck it take  victory where you can.

Just cum in my pants in lidl.

[idunnosomename]

it's a fucking death cult

nuke the virus

[boki]

So is Dominic Raab taking over now as the underling of the other Dominic.

Dom is Dom's Dom?

[Menyatta Zondatta]

So who's in charge now?
(Stephen Fry? Michael Palin?)

Due to an obscure technicality in the legislation, it looks like, if my information is right, the role of PM goes to Raoul Moat.

[Butchers Blind]

Due to an obscure technicality in the legislation, it looks like, if my information is right, the role of PM goes to Raoul Moat.

Gazza on his way to No10 with a fishing rod and fried chicken

[idunnosomename]

If moaty happened today it would seem pretty normal. Simpler times back then

[Sebastian Cobb]

CUMMINGS RESPONSE:
https://twitter.com/NicKeaney/status/1243510189090799617

[Thomas]

The motion of his running and the quick zoom are pure Thick of It.

[Sebastian Cobb]

He always looked like the kind of guy who would've steamrolled women and children to get on the lifeboat.