Author Topic: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!  (Read 58825 times)

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #61 on: March 27, 2020, 12:23:47 PM »
Fuckers nicked all the jewellery and scarpered

boki

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Jockice

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Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #63 on: March 27, 2020, 12:30:44 PM »
Q: Why did Prince Charles and Alexander 'Boris' Johnson get tested for Covid-19 while the public and NHS frontline staff are still waiting for theirs?

A: They both have underlying wealth conditions.

Happy to help.

Puce Moment

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Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #64 on: March 27, 2020, 12:31:24 PM »
I'm going to make an assumption that Cummings and Bozo have spent quite a lot of time together in the sweaty, central heated meetings rooms of Number 10 over the last fortnight.

Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #65 on: March 27, 2020, 12:31:35 PM »
He got it from slobbering on charles' knob

Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #66 on: March 27, 2020, 12:53:36 PM »
BoJo biographer Sonia Purnell on the BBC describing our dear leader in terms befitting some kind of superhuman being- I’ve never known Boris to have a day’s illness in his life, it really shows that if even Boris can get this virus, anyone can, etc. etc.

Yeah, cheers for that. I hadn’t realised from thousands of global deaths that this was a major public health issue, but now that an overweight 55 year old man from London has it - well, that’s something else.

Fabian Thomsett

  • Attack and Dethrone God
Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #67 on: March 27, 2020, 01:10:56 PM »
Be pretty funny if 80 Tory MPs died.


Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #69 on: March 27, 2020, 01:16:36 PM »
Wait until this hits The Lords.

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #70 on: March 27, 2020, 01:19:03 PM »
Quote
After Johnson diagnosis, who else should be tested?

Nick Eardley
Political correspondent

i.e., which of our glorious beloved overlords should we spend precious time and money on?

alan nagsworth

  • aka the mollusk
Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #71 on: March 27, 2020, 01:23:46 PM »
He got it from slobbering on charles' knob

Yeah, just to expand on my previous findings regarding Charles being positive but Camilla negative, I still stand by my research that Camilla and Charles had not fisted each other or fucked each others faces in a 69 or anything like that, and yet in this case it would appear extremely likely if not 100% accurate to assume that Boris contracted this through some extremely intimate - hell, I'll say it: sexual - contact with the Prince.

It's early days yet but my sources stipulate that this could have been through one or all of the following methods:

1. Sucking the Prince off through the crack of a royal door in the palace.

2. Drinking Charles' cum out of the mouth of a sedated corgi.

3. Prince Charles doing a prolonged evil fart in Boris' face whilst Boris sucks heavily inwards like a mechanic exaggerating his reaction to a minor problem with a single mother's car.

4. The Prince Charles, Prince of Wales, pouring cognac into Boris' eyes and then slurping it lasciviously from his cheeks as Boris splutters about it being the tears he's crying for the NHS. Afterwards they both clap raucously out of the windows, laughing, their dicks stiff and buzzing wildly like a pair of electric toothbrushes.

It could be any one of these actions, or worse, which lead to Boris allegedly testing positively for the virus. Again I'll report back if my team can drum any more evidence together.

Mr_Simnock

  • Ես ուզում անդորր
Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #72 on: March 27, 2020, 01:26:08 PM »
Anyone else looking forward to prime minister eric pickles? That's all that will be left at this rate

Thomas

  • please describe an encounter with a squirrel
Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #73 on: March 27, 2020, 01:26:48 PM »
I presume the Queen has already been tested. It's an obvious step following the Charles-19 diagnosis. If she has been tested, and found medically safe and sound, you'd think they say so, wouldn't they, to put the nation's subconscious at rest? And yet this is all the palace can splutter:

Quote
'HMQ remains in good health. The Queen last saw the PM on the 11th March and is following all the appropriate advice with regards to her welfare. We will not be commenting further.'

No outright declaration. Ergo, the Queen also has it. I know, I know, it's serious.

KennyMonster

  • Dance like The Goverment is watching.
Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #74 on: March 27, 2020, 01:27:47 PM »
So one of the Dominics is in charge now.

Not the evil Dominic,  but the stupid "Yes I know what a Dover Crossings are" Dominic.

Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #75 on: March 27, 2020, 01:56:37 PM »
I read someone on Twitter the other day that said the best way for most people to get tested is to cough in a rich person's face and wait for their test results. Sounds about right

Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #76 on: March 27, 2020, 02:17:49 PM »
German newspapers are surely the best at finding suitable photos to illustrate their articles: https://www.spiegel.de/politik/ausland/boris-johnson-positiv-auf-coronavirus-getestet-a-bc851563-d8d2-4889-b151-072be2372ec6

That fucking face! HE'S RAGING!

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #77 on: March 27, 2020, 02:21:13 PM »
German newspapers are surely the best at finding suitable photos to illustrate their articles: https://www.spiegel.de/politik/ausland/boris-johnson-positiv-auf-coronavirus-getestet-a-bc851563-d8d2-4889-b151-072be2372ec6

That fucking face! HE'S RAGING!

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Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #78 on: March 27, 2020, 02:23:59 PM »
Sie müssen Ihren Browser so konfigurieren, dass Cookies akzeptiert werden.

Anyway...this was the photo:



Beautiful.

imitationleather

  • "The French... are famous... for their kissing"
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Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #79 on: March 27, 2020, 02:25:35 PM »
He said he didn't like it, but he'd have to go along with it.

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #80 on: March 27, 2020, 02:26:19 PM »
Sie müssen Ihren Browser so konfigurieren, dass Cookies akzeptiert werden.

Anyway...this was the photo:



Beautiful.

Das Bald?

Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #81 on: March 27, 2020, 02:26:35 PM »
Tot bald.

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #82 on: March 27, 2020, 02:27:04 PM »
Bis bald

imitationleather

  • "The French... are famous... for their kissing"
    • http://last.fm/user/ImiLeathr
Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #83 on: March 27, 2020, 02:27:21 PM »
"No, I was saying 'The Boris, the'!"

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #84 on: March 27, 2020, 02:28:22 PM »
"No, I was saying 'The Boris, the'!"

Oh by the way, Ron passed away recently


BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #86 on: March 27, 2020, 02:36:32 PM »
Pie bald


FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #87 on: March 27, 2020, 02:37:03 PM »
He said he didn't like it, but he'd have to go along with it.

Laughed out loud on a conference call you bastard

Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #88 on: March 27, 2020, 02:45:56 PM »
Sie müssen Ihren Browser so konfigurieren, dass Cookies akzeptiert werden.

Anyway...this was the photo:



Beautiful.
sadness in his eyes

Twonty Gostelow

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Re: Boris Johnson has the virus!!!
« Reply #89 on: March 27, 2020, 03:03:07 PM »
Is this the Have I Got News For You guy?  Aww, I like him.

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