Boris Johnson has the virus!!!

[Danger Man]

You did that one yesterday!

No. I've changed 50's to 60's.

There'll be a test later.

[weekender]

But he did have funny hair.

Don't forget that bit when he got stuck on a zip wire whilst waving some flags, which is mostly why he's in charge in the first place.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hRwnXmdRCo

[Blue Jam]

Sky News are reporting he isn't on a ventilator.

Boris Johnson has died as a precaution

Oh Christ, this thread is even more of an emotional rollercoaster than Better Call Saul and all the supermarkets are closing early so I can't get any popcorn.

If he carks it will the pubs reopen? I know they won't officially be allowed to, but my particular local probably will...

[idunnosomename]

in the spirit of balance, I hope it kills him, but he comes back as a ghost, and is the spookiest prime minister in history.

[Bronzy]

Sincerely hope there aren't any tank-topped bum boys providing him with medical care.

Finger in the ass for Britain

[Alberon]

So the line being put out by Downing Street is that Johnson has been moved to ICU only as a precaution if he needs to be ventilated, but he hasn't been so far.

Problem is does anyone believe them as they clearly have been hiding the truth the last 12 days.

[EasyToType]

https://www.businessinsider.com/boris-johnson-record-sexist-homophobic-and-racist-comments-bumboys-piccaninnies-2019-6

Sentence: death by suffocation and cheering crowd

[chveik]

God let me in that hospital. Wouldn't even bother with his cock, I'd just rip his ball bag open with my teeth and suck the cum straight out of his nads, the stunning stinking horny slut.

I laughed

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Intensive care is ironically the one thing Boris Johnson failed to show towards humans or during any of his interactions with humans.

[Bronzy]

Beautiful. A round of applause?

too risky the vibrations might make it come out again

[Blue Jam]

Don't forget that bit when he got stuck on a zip wire whilst waving some flags

He was funny on Have I Got News For You as well, don't forget.

Have I Got A Big Fuck-Off Wooden Box For You, more like.

[idunnosomename]

bung boris a bob

[greencalx]

If he does depart us, do you think he'll do the African dictator thing of running the country for ten years after passing?

Or maybe they'll Jeremy Bentham him.

[Blue Jam]

bung boris a bob

Bung A Bob For Big BoJo's Lungs

[Sebastian Cobb]

(deep breath)

"Chancellor Rishi Sunak said his thoughts were with the prime minister and his pregnant partner, Carrie Symonds, and that Mr Johnson would "come out of this even stronger"."

Lol

[kalowski]

So the line being put out by Downing Street is that Johnson has been moved to ICU only as a precaution if he needs to be ventilated, but he hasn't been so far.

Problem is does anyone believe them as they clearly have been hiding the truth the last 12 days.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/apr/06/the-strange-lead-up-to-boris-johnsons-admission-to-hospital

[FredNurke]

If he does depart us, do you think he'll do the African dictator thing of running the country for ten years after passing?

Or maybe they'll Jeremy Bentham him.

He doesn't know enough about Doctor Who for that.

[idunnosomename]

if he died would the queen show us her tits

[touchingcloth]

I've lost count of how many cunt politicians I've prayed for the death of only to be disappointed by their continued non-deaths. If Boris were to be the one which finally goes, then after everything - the past three years in particular - that would be the fucking jackpot. Come on, big man: for once in your life - just once - don't let me down.

[Bronzy]

He kind of has to die now otherwise all my posts half-defending him will have been for nothing

[weekender]

Intensive care is ironically the one thing Boris Johnson failed to show towards humans or during any of his interactions with humans.

I haven't had a poo for two days now, but this post got me close.

[machotrouts]

Previous report of "Boris Johnson in good spirits" a misquote. We meant "Boris Johnson has died and become a spirit: good"

[Old Gold Tooth]

Beautiful. A round of applause?

If it had been 8pm then definitely.

[Hand Solo]

Best everyone order one of these, before there's a run on them:

[Danger Man]

so.......when do they announce the death?

What's the deadline for tomorrow's papers?

[Dewt]

I don't want him to die, can you imagine all the condolences clogging up the news? What if another scientist gets magnets stuck up his nose? If the PM dies we'll never hear about that.

Same shit if he survives it though. He'll just look strong and like he's mucking in with the rest of us.

[Bobloblawslawbomb]

If he dies, I wonder if Stewart Lee will have the bottle to call him by his new full name,  Boris Piccaninny Watermelon Letterbox Cake Bumboys Vampires Haircut Wall-Spaffer Spunk-Burster Fuck-Business Fuck-the-Families Get-Off-My-Fucking-Laptop Girly-Swot Big-Girl's-Blouse Chicken-frit Hulk-Smash Noseringed-Crusties Death-Humbug Technology-Lessons Surrender-Bullshit French-Turds Dog-Whistle Get-Stuffed FactcheckUK@CCHQ 88%-lies Get-Brexit-Done Bung-a-Bob-for-Big-Ben's-Bongs Cocaine-Event Spiritual-Worth Three-Men-and-a-Dog Whatever-It-Takes-Dead Now Johnson

[Urinal Cake]

God has found favour with Britain's real leader Prince Charles and not it's false leader Boris Johnson.

[Mister Six]

He's arguably one of the most dangerous people in the country, combining ultra right wing sympathies which will likely cause further austerity and further shrinking of the state and selling off of assets to the rich, with a populist appeal that no other politician of his ilk has, which gives him huge leeway to get away with just about anything it seems no matter how heinous. His death could potentially shift this country's future path. No other current Tory has the Trump style appeal that he has. Wouldn't be sorry to see the back of that.

Yeah, the only sad thing about his possible death is that all the Tory cabinet, and those that came before him, won't also be claimed. I want them all to become rotting corpses under the ground, and for their bereaved families to salt the earth with their tears.

(Hyperbole, but only just.)

[Jittlebags]

It's a wake up call really though isn't it. Lot of people treating the pandemic as a bit of a jolly if you ask me.