Links To Cool Things

[Pienaar]

"...for the day will come when there will be no more news. One day, we will all be office workers, working long strip-lit hours on providing business-to-business services to each other's businesses. And as the hours of our lives are burnt away in the monitor's glare, we will not care whether there is a parliament anymore, or who invaded what or why. We will care only for that grainy online video of a fat man destroying his computer , or the hilarious flash animation of some cats singing, or the latest mass-mailed list of 100 amusing things to say to your oncologist. Then, all true Men of News will return to the frozen wastes, there to engage in televisual and radiophonic reporting for and about arctic seabirds - who will then be the only creatures without internet access. "

Pienaar has his case packed - it will not be long now. In the meantime, why not share your internet discoveries with us? Try to think of this as a new kind of newsfeed for a new generation - a newsfeed mainly about trivial and amusing bollocks.

[Spiteface]

"You WILL experience the Ninja Burger difference!"

Guaranteed delivery in 30 minutes or less, or we commit Seppuku!

[smoker]

glaxo smithkline "morally and ethically bankrupt":

http://www.guardian.co.uk/medicine/story/0,11381,1137559,00.html

[Still Not George]

WILL CHERIE BLAIR GIVE BRITAIN'S SWANS CANCER?
WILL BRUSSELS HURT THE CONSERVATIVES?
DOES KEN LIVINGSTONE DEFRAUD THE MEMORY OF DIANA?

Daily Mail-O-Matic

[Purple Tentacle]

"WILL CHRIS MORRIS LEAD CLIFF RICHARD ASTRAY?"

Ho ho ho! Random loveliness!

[smoker]

COULD GREENPEACE IMPREGNATE YOUR MORTGAGE?

it's worth worrying about

[Spiteface]

WILL TEENAGE SEX CHEAT CLIFF RICHARD?

Top that!

[Mr Flunchy]

http://www.heraldnews.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=10866392&BRD=1710&PAG=461&dept_id=99784&rfi=8

Blue Jam suicide.

[Purple Tentacle]

"DO ASYLUM SEEKERS INFECT THE ELDERLY WITH AIDS?"

I'm fairly sure that must be a real one.

[Bilko]

WILL CHERIE BLAIR GIVE BRITAIN'S SWANS CANCER?
WILL BRUSSELS HURT THE CONSERVATIVES?
DOES KEN LIVINGSTONE DEFRAUD THE MEMORY OF DIANA?

Daily Mail-O-Matic

Three I  generated

Could channel 4 infect house prices with aids.
Will the unemployed impregnate Michael Howard
DO PAEDOPHILES RUIN THE MEMORY OF DIANA?

and who is Brain Paddock

[Benny J. Fish]

WILL GAYS STRIP YOUR HOUSE OF ALL DIGNITY?

Someones been watching too much daytime TV

[Vermschneid Mehearties]

WILL IMMIGRANTS IMPREGNATE THE ELDERLY?

*cackle*

COULD ALASTAIR CAMPBELL DESTROY HOMEOWNERS?

*oooooh*

WILL CHERIE BLAIR SCROUNGE OFF THE MEMORY OF DIANA?

Harsh, harsh.

COULD CHANNEL 4 RUIN YOUR HOUSE?

Better and better and b3ta.

[Still Not George]

What have I spawned?
May the Gods forgive me. (The Blunkett generator is particularly fab, btw)

[TotalNightmare]

at least you dont have bird flu!

[Neil]

http://www.litkicks.com/

Tons of stuff about the Beat generation (and more!)

[butnut]

http://www.litkicks.com/

Tons of stuff about the Beat generation (and more!)

Good find. Here's a link to their page on Gunther Grass, which I recommend all of you read, and then go and read 'The Tin Drum'

[steevbishop]

From the Daily Mail-O-Matic:
DOES GORDON BROWN IMPREGNATE THE BRITISH PEOPLE?
COULD THE UNIONS DEFRAUD THE MIDDLE CLASS?
COULD KEN LIVINGSTONE HURT YOUR DAUGHTERS?
COULD THE BBC SCROUNGE OFF THE POLICE?
COULD PAEDOPHILES SCROUNGE OFF BRITISH SOVEREIGNTY?

Gems. Each and every one.

From Blunkett's Policy Maker:
Fit homeless people with electronic tags, and then give them a 'Citizenship Test'.
Give the BBC an on-the-spot fine, and then issue them with compulsory 'Entitlement Cards'.
Detain everybody indefinitely under the Terrorism Act, and then deny them the right to trial by jury.

I'd keep a firm eye on that third one.

Oh, and here's a real link to justify this malarky:
The weirdest GI Joe stuff you'll ever see
Apologies if you don't find any of them funny, they tickled me a rather wretched shade.

[Ambient Sheep]

WILL TEENAGE SEX STRIP CLIFF RICHARD OF ALL DIGNITY?

And from the Michael Howard Sings The Smiths generator:
"I Believe That...
I crack the whip, and you skip, but you deserve it."

"I Believe That...
Love Peace and Harmony?  Oh, very nice, but maybe in the next world."

[Des Nilsen]

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[Swiss Industrial Spies]

survive the five treacherous worlds of IKEA with the IKEA walkthrough.

[Gamma Ray]

After our recent nomadic existence, a board not to far removed from our own. I think that we should 'borrow' certain aspects of it, I'll leave you to work out which.

That's what you get when you fuck with the force   ...

Indeed.

[Ambient Sheep]

Some mildly amusing photoshops following the recent BBC Hutton fiasco:





(from the Grauniad's Media Diary).

[Vermschneid Mehearties]

http://www.penguinhosting.net/~jpeck/prime/

From another topic.

Marvel at goatse whilst learning every prime number in the universe. If this isn't in the curriculum in the next 5 years, and in the forefront of the minds of 12 million children, I for one will be surprised.

NOT WORK SAFE by the way. It's goatse, if you were expecting bunnies and flowers being presented in a non-sexual context.

[Tokyo Sexwhale]

I quite liked this one:

http://chilled.cream.org/vw/

[butnut]

I quite liked this one:

http://chilled.cream.org/vw/

And look, Thomasina was the last ever original VerbWhore.

[Funky Gibbon]

Martians love Half-Life

[Vermschneid Mehearties]

*chuckle*

That is so shit, you can just about pass off that martians love Aphex Twin that's so shit.

[aaaaaaaaaargh!]

From the Blunkett generator, I love the brutally simplistic

Arrest children, and then jail them.

[Pinball]

From this morning's Today "We're so sorry, Prime Minister" Programme:

0832 Are knighthoods outdated and obsolete? Yasmin Alibhai Brown and Sir Patrick Moore discuss.

Listen clicky
You may not agree with his views, but who GAF? It's just great to hear him in action. What a guy! :-)


I want me avatar back! ;-)

[DonkeyRods]

Retouch Pro, or Multimongia for Adults. Has some interesting challenges, and some of the contributors are good


Lots of monging opportunity...