Hair growth and the end for the fashionable beard?

[Brundle-Fly]

My mum is fretting that she can't go to her hairdresser anymore.  She's been seeing the same stylist and had her hair dyed 'Babs' blond since the mid-seventies so the next time I see her she's going to look like the cat lady from The Simpsons.

My normal smart haircut is growing at the rate of knots so I was thinking of aiming for Kurt Russel from The Thing vibe but a fuzzy beard is a magnet for germs and makes wearing a facemask uncomfortable. A friend has hacked off his WG Grace fuzz and he looks ten years younger. Will this period finally bring an end to the millennial beard that seems to have gone on for years. Will it be like 1991 again by December?

And what about the balding folk who visit barbers and don't shave their own heads?  Will a nation of Will Gompertz and Stephen Wright lookalikes be upon us?

[ollyboro]

I think this is a good thing. Bald men who shave their heads have been allowed to get away with their dishonesty for too long. A couple of months of looking like Max Wall will do them a world of good.

[Gregory Torso]

Me in about two weeks time:

[jobotic]

Got a fairly appalling ginger and white beard going on. Might have to get rid of that before I go back to work on Monday. Have to cut my hair with the beard trimmer. New wave

[idunnosomename]

Beard

[BlodwynPig]

Got a fairly appalling ginger and white beard going on. Might have to get rid of that before I go back to work on Monday. Have to cut my hair with the beard trimmer. New wave

got rid of my ginger and white today, replaced by dry skin and rashes

[MidnightShambler]

I don't feel like people, in general, are talking about haircuts enough. It used to be said that the best businesses to be in are hairdressing and kids shoes. But now we're all stuck at home forever, nobody needs either. Its a shame.

I myself have lustrous and buoyant hair but unfortunately, due to the lockdown, its crept up to the dangerous 82% Critical Barlow level and i'm unsure how to stop it without shaving it off completely. Desperate times.

Haven't had a shave for nearly two weeks though and its passed the itchy stage, so that can stay.

[Captain Crunch]

I don't get it, Savers and Superdrug are still open, just do a box rinse.

[Captain Crunch]

Plus I'd rather see blobby see-through DIY manicures on nailshaming groups than the ragged bleeding cuticles people end up with at the salons.   Maybe now we'll see the demise of the nail bar (nail bar, nail bar). 

[Sebastian Cobb]

Barbers are fucked if men work out you can buy a set of wahls for less than two haircuts and how easy it is to give yourself a number 4 all over.

[bgmnts]

Yeah but who goes into the barbers for a four all over? You go for a short back and sides and some faffing on the top.

[idunnosomename]

im afraid to go to the barber since the last one ejaculated down the back of my collar

[Butchers Blind]

#growyourhairforNHS

[olliebean]

im afraid to go to the barber since the last one ejaculated down the back of my collar

You should have been clearer that you wanted it in the face.

[Ferris]

Yeah but who goes into the barbers for a four all over? You go for a short back and sides and some faffing on the top.

He's got you there. The faffing about on top is genuinely difficult in a domestic setting, and I'm being serious here.

[beanheadmcginty]

The main reason I go to the barber is for the bit where he sets fire to my ear hair with a giant cotton bud soaked in meths. If Braun or whoever come up with a home version of that I'll never darken his doors again.

[olliebean]

He's got you there. The faffing about on top is genuinely difficult in a domestic setting, and I'm being serious here.

I don't have a problem doing the top at home, but getting a decent taper at the back on your own is damn near impossible.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I don't have a problem doing the top at home, but getting a decent taper at the back on your own is damn near impossible.

I tried to do that to a mate who asked for it, and by the time I'd finished his hair didn't start until half way up his ears.

Thing is the no4 is just about the right length that you don't need the faffing or fading. It's a low maintenance cut that doesn't leave you looking awful. If it replaced the iced gem/peaky blinders cuts it wouldn't be all bad.

[Sebastian Cobb]

The main reason I go to the barber is for the bit where he sets fire to my ear hair with a giant cotton bud soaked in meths. If Braun or whoever come up with a home version of that I'll never darken his doors again.

Only Turkish places seem to do that and even then some of them don't.

[thenoise]

I make sure I do something every two months just so I have something to tell the Barber when he asks me what I've been up to.

It's a good job I won't be seeing him for a bit.

[thenoise]

got rid of my ginger and white today, replaced by dry skin and rashes

Same here when I got rid of my lovely beard. I expected the double chin - that was well and truly in place last time I shaved - but where did these horrible patches of soreness come from? My beard was a bit itchy and dandruffy, to be honest, but I wasn't expecting this.

Good news - a few days of washing and lathering on moisturiser seems to sort it out. I'm nervous of my next shave though, so I am rocking a 'depressed man in a sitcom' look of stubble, messy hair, and 24 hour pyjamas.

[massive bereavement]

Cut my own pubes this morning, surely everyone does that. Cutting your own hair can't be any more difficult, it's thinner and far less wirey, should be easier If anything. Think we're going to realise that hairdressers are not needed after this crisis is over.

[ollyboro]

As much as I don't appreciate the barber rubbing his crotch on the back of my head, or him touching my ears, (actually, if I could find a barber who doesn't make any physical contact at all, he could butcher my hair and I'd tip him) I must admit I do enjoy it when he pulls out the tiny electric razor to do my neck hair. It's like being lovingly caressed by a swarm of lazy bees.

[Bazooka]

Cut my own pubes this morning, surely everyone does that. Cutting your own hair can't be any more difficult, it's thinner and far less wirey, should be easier If anything. Think we're going to realise that hairdressers are not needed after this crisis is over.

Don't throw your pubes away，they make a good salad topping when all the shop pubes have been panic bought off the shelves.

[Johnny Yesno]

Fuck! You're right Brundle. This'll be the best impact of Covid-19. Hipster beards gone. Mitchell brothers back at the cutting edge of hair fashion, where they should be. Me and my shiny bonce will be drowning in ladies while all the other lads are struggling to make the adjustment. Can't wait.

[Bazooka]

Fuck! You're right Brundle. This'll be the best impact of Covid-19. Hipster beards gone. Mitchell brothers back at the cutting edge of hair fashion, where they should be. Me and my shiny bonce will be drowning in ladies while all the other lads are struggling to make the adjustment. Can't wait.

Yeah but once they witness your phimosis they are gonna leg it.

[Puce Moment]

Cut my three-year old beard off at the weekend and I look fucking horrendous. Like someone threw stale dough at a bust of a zika baby.

I also considered cutting my own hair but only got as far as cutting quite a big bald spot above my right ear.

Couldn't give a fuck.

[Brundle-Fly]

I'm looking a bit Phil Oakey circa 1981, that much is true. A porkier older version.

[olliebean]

Thing is the no4 is just about the right length that you don't need the faffing or fading. It's a low maintenance cut that doesn't leave you looking awful. If it replaced the iced gem/peaky blinders cuts it wouldn't be all bad.

Don't really want it that short, also I want something that will grow out without looking shit so I don't have to re-do it every couple of weeks. In the end a decent short self-haircut that will grow out OK is damn near impossible, and even a half-decent one takes way more time and effort than I can be bothered with, so I kept it fairly long and just went for one of those quick layered cuts that loads of women do on YouTube, to at least make it less of an arse to wash and brush and keep out of my face when I'm eating and stuff. Piss-easy, and took about 5 minutes, which is about the amount of time and effort I'm happy with.

[ollyboro]

My hair has reached a tipping point. My hair goes through various stages.

Stage 1) Immediately after a haircut I look like a massive cunt, but I thank and tip the cunt who's done it to me. The best/worst example of this was a couple of haircuts ago. I went Turkish. As somebody on here once pointed out, Turkish barbers don't talk to you, and that, as well as the ability to leave me with two ears, is what I look for in a barber. Unfortunately, this particular Turk with shears, didn't speak great English. So when he asked me something, I thought he'd said, "Which direction did you come from?"   "Er..what?" He repeated himself. So I pointed outside and said, "I came from that way." He looked confused, so I expanded upon which direction I'd entered his establishment from. "I came from the direction of Sainsbury's." He looked at me, shrugged, then proceeded to give me a massive side parting I hadn't asked for. I then realised that he'd asked what side I wanted my hair parting, and I had instructed him to part my hair in the direction of Sainsbury's. My fringe was a huge sweep of hair. I looked like I was about to read the news in 1970s America. I tipped him, put my hood up and left.

Stage 2) Get home and frantically splodge product into my hair, desperately trying to salvage something.

Stage 3) Wash hair. The next day my hair "settles" and I begin the process off looking less of a cunt.

Stage 4) About three weeks into my hairdo a fucking miracle occurs. I begin to suit it. I can dry it in a minute and shape it in seconds

Stage 4) About three weeks and two days into my hairdo, I can still dry it in a minute, but now have to spend longer shaping it.

Stage 5) After about 5 weeks I begin the process of looking like a cunt again. No amount of teasing will get it to look right, and I need to get the hair dryer out.

Stage 6) Two months in and I look like a bukkakeed Muppet and have to accept going back to the barbers.

I'm currently at stage 4. My big fear is, She's got two sets of clippers for sale. Since she can't sell any of her stock at the moment, it's only a matter of days before she starts hacking away at my unfashionable napper and I end up looking like a mental patient.