Hair growth and the end for the fashionable beard?

[Head Gardener]

[The Bumlord]

The last time I decided to ditch the beard and go clean-shaven my mum said I looked like a potato.

Beard it is.

[Brundle-Fly]

My hair has reached a tipping point. My hair goes through various stages.

Stage 1) Immediately after a haircut I look like a massive cunt, but I thank and tip the cunt who's done it to me. The best/worst example of this was a couple of haircuts ago. I went Turkish. As somebody on here once pointed out, Turkish barbers don't talk to you, and that, as well as the ability to leave me with two ears, is what I look for in a barber. Unfortunately, this particular Turk with shears, didn't speak great English. So when he asked me something, I thought he'd said, "Which direction did you come from?"   "Er..what?" He repeated himself. So I pointed outside and said, "I came from that way." He looked confused, so I expanded upon which direction I'd entered his establishment from. "I came from the direction of Sainsbury's." He looked at me, shrugged, then proceeded to give me a massive side parting I hadn't asked for. I then realised that he'd asked what side I wanted my hair parting, and I had instructed him to part my hair in the direction of Sainsbury's. My fringe was a huge sweep of hair. I looked like I was about to read the news in 1970s America. I tipped him, put my hood up and left.

Brilliant!

[Ray Travez]

yeah, that made me laugh, especially, 'I had instructed him to part my hair in the direction of Sainsbury's.'