Bog paper drenched and dripping in vibrant scarlet blood

[ZoyzaSorris]

That's totally normal and fine, right?

[ZoyzaSorris]

Bit concerned the Covid has hopped hosts and is now ripping out hoops

[Marner and Me]

Had it once Circa 2010, after a night on the piss, just shitting blood, never done it since.

[Gregory Torso]

If it's red, keep your head.
If it's dark, you're going to cark (it)

[Gregory Torso]

I mean that if it's normal blood colour (dont know about dripping) just means you've gone to hard with the Charmin. If it's black, or really dark red, see a doctor immediately.

[pancreas]

Did you take photos?

[chveik]

pretty sure it's a sign of good fortune

[ollyboro]

Have you got any sharp objects up your arse? It's possible that a shard of glass, or perhaps a piece of pineapple, has snagged itself on the walls of your fudge tunnel, thus causing haemorrhage. Pour some white vinegar up your pipe and have a couple of days in bed.

[Replies From View]

I mean that if it's normal blood colour (dont know about dripping) just means you've gone to hard with the Charmin. If it's black, or really dark red, see a doctor immediately.

I'm terrified myself now because usually when I have a shit there is a kind of brown colour.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I hope someone will do a serious answer to this soon. It won't be me as I don't know much beyond 'Fresh scarlet blood coming from arsehole generally up there as a really bad thing to happen'

[Gregory Torso]

My answer was serious. If red, it's just an anal tear or something. If it's dark that means internal bleeding which is very serious.

[bgmnts]

My last movement looked like a Tom Savini creation, just stop wiping as vigorously.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Threads titles you can sing to Sound of Music songs

[Cloud]

Bright red is probably just haemorrhoids or an anal fissure.  Especially if you've strained recently.  Fresh blood means it's near your arse hole and literally dripping out of it.  Unpleasant but not alarming

It's if it's dark red or black and tarry that's when you start to worry about the real nasties having developed further up the bowels

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

did you pop a pile by any chance?

also, call a doctor

[honeychile]

Has it happened before? Did you experience any pain? Did the bleeding persist after you continued wiping?

It may have been a tear or similar.

Were you constipated? Did you have to push hard? Do you have haemorrhoids now or have had them recently? If so, it may have been a burst blood vessel. Note that haemorrhoids aren't always externally obvious, you might have experienced tingling or itching in the region.

As others have said if the colour was normal blood red, which it sounds like, it wouldn't be something to worry about. Best thing to do is try to take your time and go slowly and gently, both shitting and wiping.

[ZoyzaSorris]

Thanks for all of your kind and useful thoughts about the profusely haemorrhaged anus I was asking about for a friend. My friend does remember birthing a particularly reticent foot long pig iron bollard earlier in the day, it was probably just that juicing some cryptic arse grapes on the way out, all seems to have settled down now, so my friend tells me.

Has it happened before? Did you experience any pain? Did the bleeding persist after you continued wiping?
Were you constipated? Did you have to push hard? Do you have haemorrhoids now or have had them recently? If so, it may have been a burst blood vessel.

Just watching Better Call Saul and this undoubtedly correct and useful info did bring to mind a no win no fee ambulance chasers advert, thanks for that chuckle in these uncertain times

[ZoyzaSorris]

Will now keep a keen eye out for the congealed ebony clots that will one day presage the inevitable final uprising of my own digestive tract against its tireless oppressor!

[Dewt]

Eat fibre

You're probably eating a lot of isolation food and you need fibre

[gib]

Good luck getting your monstrous ruptured chalfonts removed at the hospital.

[Pseudopath]

Threads titles you can sing to Sound of Music songs

Which one? If you say "My Favourite Things", you've got cloth-ears.

[ollyboro]

Which one? If you say "My Favourite Things", you've got cloth-ears.

Edelweiss just about works. Although the new lyrics detract from the beauty of the song somewhat.

[Noddy Tomkey]

You are dead and I claim my £5

[hummingofevil]

My 91 year old Grandmother rang my dad a few weeks ago saying that me 92 year old grandad had had "a bleed" and she was going to ring the GP. My dad decided to pop round to check; he told me that what he found was "a fucking murder scene". After ringing 999 and sending Neville to hospital he then replaced the bedding, mattress and the FUCKING CURTAINS. Nev was wearing PJs at the time too. Fucking hell.

Anyway it turns out my family's history of diverticulitis hit (HIT) its peak. Nowt much wrong with him but the flare up or irriation in his lower intestines just so happen to coincide with a major blood vessel. He was absolutely fine but the moral of the story...

...if you projecting blood out your arse you might not be dying but its probably worth getting a second opinion.

[Replies From View]

Imagine being in your early 90s and having a husband or wife about the same age who is still alive, and doing things for each other like phoning people up when the other one is doing a blood firework impression.  It's so heartening and comforting.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

They all have bog paper drenched and dripping in vibrant scarlet blood by the time I'm finished with them.

[Better Midlands]

They all have bog paper drenched and dripping in vibrant scarlet blood by the time I'm finished with them.

Mi tink man need a bludclot.

[Pink Gregory]

Get yuself some anusol suppositiories, when it happened to me it cleared up after about 2 of them.

[Cardenio I]

Funny this should be bought up now, I absolutely shredded what was a mostly healed anal fissure this morning after overdoing it with the dice and stickle brick pizza last night. Unusually light and vivid on the paper isn't it, bum blood? I've never seen blood look so pinkish as after a shite. I've never seen it shine so bright.

[BlodwynPig]

Crikey, last night I had some red liquid dripping from my nose! Quite worried. Then in the morning some white gluey substance emanated from my private member - but that wasn't so bad.