BEERS #2 - Beyond the Pale

[Ferris]

I miss cask beers. They are very rare where I live - the only beer festival in Canada featuring them prominently sells out in a day so the demand is there, but no one is interested in making them commercially for some reason. I suppose the bar/pub infrastructure isn't there - it's kegs or nothing.

Less of a pain because the styles I like don't fare well in kegs anyway, but still. Jealous of everyone who has the option for one.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

That could probably be overcome at city level if there's a brewery that wants to own and run a string of pubs, they'd get the say. I'd worry about the huge temperatures changes seasonally for true cellar conditioning in Canada, but I guess that could be solved with enough cash.

If they managed to make their own operation work and have that USP then some specialist bars might follow suit, especially if there's a breakthrough beer that really works on cask vs. keg.

I have seen cask in a handful of places in continental Europe outside of the usual Irish pubs and they were all brewery taps or beer specialists. Italy, Hungary, Poland & Lithuania.

It would need to be done with almost singular determination and bloody mindedness but no actual reason why it couldn't work.

[Ferris]

There was a chain (well, there were two of them) of cask places that just did English style casks and milds and if you didn't like it then tough shit, but it folded at the start of covid[nb]although the website is still active. An adherent of my "if the website is complete dog dirt, the beer will be excellent" rule because they clearly weren't staying open on the back of flashy advertising...[/nb].

Breweries here occasionally do a cask beer but there isn't the retail infrastructure for the style really, and it just isn't all that popular so they aren't easy to find (though with covid, I haven't been looking very hard). It would be unheard of for a pub to have more than one option even then.

I will survive. Perhaps I will thrive.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

it just isn't all that popular so they aren't easy to find

Which tbf you could have said about American hopped IPA in the UK, let alone sours, hard seltzer, pudding stouts 20 years back. Things sell if they're objectively good, well distributed and part of a new trend. Lots of trends take off despite being objectively bad. They won't sell if no-one knows them and they look a bit gnarly and scary. They'll sell if someone looks around at others drinking the cask beer and goes 'I'll have what they're having.

Clearly it's a bigger step for a different beer culture but not unsurpassable.

It's a brave move though so credit to anyone who wants to take the leap ahem, I mean, corner the market.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Pivovar Cvikov - Klic 12° (4.8% Svetly Lezak)

I have had some recent erratic experiences with this one, both from bottle and from tap since first discovering it. A couple of occasions it had to go down the drain, and at Pivo, London I am afraid the beer was simply not in good enough condition to sell to the public (as good as it looked in the glass, the beer was off) but I am pleased to report it is really back on form here, showing its true self.

Despite the best before date only 10 days away (it's unpasteurised as well as being unfiltered) here is a fine, fresh tasting beer. Quintessential Czech beer experience. Full bodied, gold/amber colour, truly satisfying bitterness that coats the tongue. Developing fruityness. This is what it's all about. Worthy of my hype, if I say so myself.

Bought at beerdome.cz (I can assure you I receive no residuals for this free advertising, but can honestly recommend them)

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Just drank a can of Svijany 450, which is no small batch brew. It is a relatively common beer that eluded me up to now so was adjusting expectations to 'competent at best' but jesus, fuck me, this is from beginning to end a great beer.

Assured and accomplished, it steals in, monsters your entire mouth with fresh bitterness and dryness, and leaves you wanting more. So skilled.

It's a shame most people's experience of Svijany will be Svijansky Maz, their okish pub lager.

450 is a benchmark pale lagers should be judged against.

[Jerzy Bondov]

Got my arse up the micropub for some motherfucken CASK last night, overdid it slightly. Had an Atlantic Sea Salt Stout, I thought it was lovely. My friend (not a beer drinker) said it smelled and tasted of salt. Did it fuck. Lying arse. He's just read 'salt' and that's him tasting salt. I just looked at it on Untappd and there's a 1 star review saying 'unpleasantly salty'. Honestly what the fuck. I found it very delicious. If for whatever reason any of you cunts is ever in or near Saltash, can't think why you would be, but give me a shout and we'll go up Cockleshell for some interesting local cask beer.

Here's what's on at the moment. The Verdant ran out last night, too many fucking plebs looking for a 'juicy drop' no doubt

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Is that a template design many pubs use? I feel like I have seen it a lot.

I don't like the color coding or layout :(

[phes]

Jesus Christ what in fuck. It's like a theme park bar where the theme is exterminating the colour blind

[Jerzy Bondov]

Hadn't thought about that. Shall I lie to the bloke and tell him I've got colour blind?

[pancreas]

Is there any barrel these cunts won't scrape?

https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink-news/brewdog-launches-parma-violets-inspired-21575299

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I'd try it.

[pancreas]

If it came in a 330ml bottle with a Flemish word on it, you'd try Michael Gove's fermented piss.

[phes]

I think the parma violet thing was done a few times going back to early 2010s, maybe even by brewdog. Anyway get to fuck with your worse than average beer, sullying Swizzels' and New Mills' reputation for better than average sweets

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

If it came in a 330ml bottle with a Flemish word on it, you'd try Michael Gove's fermented piss.

If it was aged in Oak Foeders and blended with a 1 and 2 year lambic it might be presentable. Of course, a 375ml bottle with a cork stopper would be expected in such a situation.

[pancreas]

Do you know who you sound like?

Me.

Let that sink in.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A Parma Violets beer sounds better than it probably is. I am glad people above pointed out it had already been done as it sounds like the sort of thing you'd expect to have been tried several times. With those BrewDog corporate cunts involved that's enough to give it a miss.

Personally I am loving this Monopol Desitka 10° Svetly lezak, 4.4% unfiltered unpasteurised pale "caning" lager. Caning is a term I just made up. Sounds better than crushable. Belting Lager?

[Ferris]

It's just a witbier with lavender added right? I've seen those about as a weird gruit variant probably for 10+ years and I'm hardly looking out for them (because they're shit).

[Cuellar]

A Parma Violets beer sounds better than it probably is.

It sounds appalling, though

[pancreas]

It sounds appalling, though

Thank you. Sometimes I wonder if I'm going mad.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

It's just a witbier with lavender added right? I've seen those about as a weird gruit variant probably for 10+ years and I'm hardly looking out for them (because they're shit).

Perhaps it is, but that rather undersells parma violet sweets imo

It sounds appalling, though

90% agree... 10% curious

[Ferris]

Perhaps it is, but that rather undersells parma violet sweets imo

I disagree, parma violets are fucking horrible. They taste of elderly people's gloveboxes and despair.

[phes]

Did elderly people keep Swizzels' in gloveboxes? Sounds too exciting to me. My Granny and Grandad kept those boiled sweets in a tin in the glovebox and they owned a sweet shop

[Ferris]

Did elderly people keep Swizzels' in gloveboxes? Sounds too exciting to me. My Granny and Grandad kept those boiled sweets in a tin in the glovebox and they owned a sweet shop

Ok scrap the glovebox - they taste of fluff and sadness, desiccated at the back of a forgotten drawer.

[king_tubby]

Parma violets are rancid. Surprised Northern Monk haven't already done this.

[thelittlemango]

Or Tiny Rebel.

[chutnut]

I had a few Lidl own brand festbiers at the weekend and was actually pretty impressed. Nothing amazing obviously but they were 99p a can and instead of wanting to pour them down the sink as I was expecting, I quite enjoyed them. Out of stock by the time I went back yesterday though, oh well.
Been gagging for a Goller but seems like everywhere has been out of stock of them too for a couple of months now

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Tremblingmadness.co.uk have some really nice Czech ones in at the moment. Raynville Superstore still have some good German/Franconians in too.

I would place an order but not planning on drinking at home much this Autumn, mainly going to be out and about.

[chutnut]

Yeah I normally use Trembling Madness, the Czech beers tend to be a bit too hoppy for me to be honest. I haven't tried Raynville Superstore before, at a quick glance it does seem to have a nice selection although a bit pricier. And it has Goller thanks! The 'original' is what I've been looking for, not sure how similar the 'premium pilsner' is to that

[ColinPopshed]

My love of Belgian beer has reared its banana and pepper smelling head again recently.

Westmalle Tripel
Tripel Karmeliet
Rochefort 10

These three are like some kind of alchemy. Joyous. Makes me wish I was in Bruges again (I've been 5 times), maybe off-peak, in a dim corner of an old restaurant, pairing these things with meat, chips and cheese.